Miss Peggotty

[labblab]

Hello again, Sweetheart. Just felt as though I needed to write today. Driving home from the store, I saw a "For Sale" sign in front of the house where the two little white dogs live. You loved everybody, but it seemed as though you were especially drawn to them. You always strained so hard to try to greet them whenever we passed by on our morning walk. How your tail would wag!! It just hits me so hard in my heart to think that they are leaving now, too. Every day when I see them as I drive by, I think of you and smile. And now they are leaving, too.

I don't even know their names, and yet I'll miss them so. Another connection gone.

Thanks to Dawn's suggestion, I've been writing down little memories to always have beside me. I guess today I'll write about the two little white dogs. You always approached everyone as a friend, my Sweetheart. That's your lesson for me today that I'll try to take into my own heart. Miss you so much and love you forever.

[Joan2517]

Awwww, Marianne...

[mommyslittlegirl]

Marianne, when changes come we feel like somehow a connection is lost with our precious babies. I also have felt like you. For almost 15 years, my baby and I would go to this little Tea Room and sit out in the courtyard. I drank tea and we shared sandwiches. Just enjoying each other so very much. . We would be there for a couple of hours on a beautiful day.. . We were so happy, my baby and me. After she left, I couldn't go by that tea room for months. I was so sad without her. About 5 months later, I wanted to go there and relive the happy times we shared there. But it had closed. I sat in my car and cried. I left but I came back a few days later. I got out and looked inside the tea room and stood at the iron gate leading into the courtyard. Both were empty, but In my mind I could plainly see me ( a girl with long brown hair ) and my love , ( a tiny white toy poodle ) sitting there again sharing sandwiches, talking and laughing. Her walking around .Just like it was yesterday. So Marianne , even tho the house is up for sale and one day the 2 little white dogs will be gone, if you really look hard , you will plainly see a lady, on a morning walk with her beautiful Sweetheart ,tail wagging, straining to greet 2 little white dogs. And perhaps a smile will come to your face as the memories of the precious tea room has for me. Hugs.

[labblab]

Thank you so much, Joan. And Dawn, your sweet message brought tears to my eyes yesterday just as it does again this morning. What you wrote is so deeply lovely, and it has unleashed so many different memories and thoughts for me. Many are still a jumble, but they are all meaningful, and I thank you so much for what you wrote.

One of our dear staffers, Addy, has written this as part of her signature line here: "Memory is the power to gather roses in the winter." I think of that line often, especially at this time of the year. We are surrounded by "Knockout" roses in this part of the country, and I have multiple bushes in my own yard. They bloom profusely through the summer here. In fact, so profusely that it is very easy to take them for granted during the summer. But then the freeze comes in the fall and the blooms are gone for the season. And then I miss them dearly, and try to imagine them blooming again on a cold winter day.

What you wrote yesterday challenges me to try to find a way to join the past and the present in a way that is not painful. To let them hold hands, if you will . I thought about that so much this morning when I was walking Luna at the lake. This is the same lake where I've taken countless walks, first with Barkis and then Peg and now Luna. Much has changed over two decades -- the open fields are now office buildings; old trees have died or been split by storms and new trees have been planted. There are new sidewalks and more people.

But there are still a few stretches that remain the same. And on this warm July morning, while I was thinking about what you had written, there was one brief moment when I truly felt as though we were all four walking together. Barkis and Peg and Luna and me. I cannot tell you how sweet that felt. There are just no words.

I hope so much that maybe I'll have that feeling again. It was indeed like the past and present were holding hands. But after it passed, I made a little silent vow to Luna to try not to take the present for granted, like I do with the roses. She is on this earth with me right now, and I don't want my tears over my losses to blind me to the joy that she and I can share now. So thank you again, so much, for your sweet story. It has meant a lot to me.

Marianne

[molly muffin]

Well dang if I don't have tears coming down too as I read this.

All those special times, it can be hard to grasp hold of them and hang on for the years to come without them. Anything that helps to do that, should be cherished. Thank you Dawn.

I hate change. The things that were so precious at that time changing. I want my friends and their dogs to remain forever just as they are today, as they were before molly passed. I understand that Marianne.

I am sure that you don't by pass any precious moment with Luna, it isn't in you to do so. I don't think you need to worry that you will miss something. (Luna wouldn't let you anyhow) hahaha

[labblab]

During the winter before Peg died, she was due for her rabies booster. She was over 11 years old then, and when asked at the vet’s office whether I wanted to stick with a 3-year vaccination as opposed to a less expensive 1-year, I said, “Absolutely!” What with all her problems, in my heart I doubted that we’d be blessed with quite that much more time left. But by picking the 3-year, I figured I’d be keeping her from ever having to be vaccinated again. And that gave me comfort that morning, and also high hopes to keep looking ahead to the future with still more years to savor.

We lost her six months later, and I never thought about that vaccination again.

Last night, hubby brought in the mail and I saw two distinctive green cards from our county animal control office. I recognized them immediately and I just melted inside. Three years later and two little green cards with two different names, but only one doggie left in our house. The blindsides are still so unexpected, and oh, how my heart does ache and how the tears do flow. Three years have passed, all in the blink of an eye.

Per her own little green card, after the holidays, I’ll take Luna in for her booster. She’s over 10 now, so I know I’ll be asked the same question. Do I want to stick with the 3-year. And I’ll tell them, “Absolutely!” And my heart will skip a beat and I’ll be saying a little silent prayer.

Mom loves you, precious Peg. Please keep watching over your sister. And please know that you are always in my heart. My shiny black dog with your big, big paws and your strong, sweet spirit. We will never, ever forget you. Three more years from now, or ever. You will always be loved by us all. Forever.

[Squirt's Mom]

Oh, Marianne, what a bittersweet day for you. Those reminders of our loses also bring back the memories of the good times when our babies were well and strong and filling our lives with so much joy. Three years or thirty years we will never forget and the love we shared will remain strong...as will the longing for that day when we will hold them again.

Many hugs and much love,
Leslie

[Harley PoMMom]

Huge hugs and tons of love from me too.

[Joan2517]

And from me too...I've been doing the tree and I usually put her ornaments on first, but this year I couldn't.

I finally put them on today and it hurt. It still hurts...she loved for me to pick her up while I put the ornaments on. It took longer working with one hand, but she loved it so much I didn't care. I would look down at her sweet face and see the lights reflected in her eyes, she just loved it. Even as a puppy, she never bothered the tree. The presents were a different story, though. She just loved to shred that wrapping paper, pull the bows off and take off with them. I'm smiling just thinking about it.

Bittersweet for sure...

[Budsters Mom]

Our sweet Leslie always knows exactly the right thing to say. Unfortunately, I do not have that gift.

These moments pop up unexpectedly and can really pull at our heartstrings. I'd like to say that it gets easier, but I'm not sure it ever does, or is meant to.