Holidays can be hard...

[gingerbread]

Hello all and kinda Happy New Year.. I am reading a lot of the above and am touched and in complete understanding of each of your posts. I will repost my poem for all of you at the bottom of my post.
Holidays are extremely difficult to maneuver. You want the joys, and yet sadness fills more thoughts than joy. You want peace, yet a restlessness stirs inside longing for holidays years ago. The normal we had will be no more. We all know that, and yet long to change the outcome. We try to balance the emptiness with the thankfulness but it is definitely a difficult balancing act and one that dips from side to side quite often. I cannot believe we are coming up on Ginger's passing 2 years ago and Dad's Birthday this Tuesday making it almost 7 years since he passed. Also lost a dear cousin just days before Christmas. I have laughed and cried all within the matter of minutes. I have felt like it was yesterday Ging was still here, and then it seems like years since I have held her, bathed her, walked her, took her to McDonald's. I just still plain miss her and want her back! That is the " normal" I long for! But reality sets it and I know it cannot be. We can still long for those times, not one thing wrong with that! We grieve deeply, miss dearly because we loved and have known a love so strong. That we can be forever grateful for! Does it help dry the tears? Nope.. does in mend our broken hearts? Probably not. But we can support each other, lend an ear or a hand and let each other know it's ok not to be ok. Our circle of grief does not disappear, it only grows larger so we can make room in our lives for it. I love you all and send hugs and prayers always. Blessings, Colleen..

Empty collar,
Empty chair.
Hard to believe
You're both not here.
Lump in my throat
Tears in my eyes
You both were
My hardest goodbyes.
A little piece
Here and there,
Holes in my heart
That won't repair.
You took with you
The very best.
Of my heart
And left the rest.
I'll try to fill it
Best I can.
Unconditional love,
Lend a helping hand.
But no amount
Will fill those parts,
Reserved for you
Deep in my heart.
So thankful for
The time we had.
Miss you Ginger,
Miss you Dad!

12-23-21