This is the best way to describe the stages of grief I have my baby boy. This is from a magazine article :
Post Grief:
MISSING HIM AGAIN
He has been gone for two years and I'm OK he does not live in my head anymore he lives in my heart yet sometimes
unexpectedly I feel I am back to just before he died
I miss him I'm hurting I feel disoriented desperately wishing him
back I remember all that I have lost that I will never have again
it has been over two years since he died but it feels like yesterday.

SOMETHING HAS CHANGED.
Something has changed I used to dread to coming home in the evening to silent, empty rooms feeling so terribly alone
tonight for the first time I looked forward to some quiet time
in my quiet home after a busy day sitting down to read my mail
check my computer sitting down with a book sitting alone
without feeling lonely something has changed.

HEALING
When one is in the middle of pain it is impossible to envisage
a time without it yet that time comes unexpectedly surprising me
by its suddenness from the agonizingly slow healing to a world
of brighter colors to a lighter step to being whole again there is an old saying that when someone you love dies, the main difference is that he or she is no longer outside of you, he or she is inside
I have incorporated him I am poorer for the lack of his physical presence but I am richer by his continuing to exist in me.
by Natasha Josefowitz. Ph.d. -LA JOLLA VILLAGE NEWS.
to you my little angel
always in my heart
love Sonja