Buddy, The Mighty Lizard Hunter - Suspected Pituitary Macro Tumor

[Budsters Mom]

I can't do it Marianne. It all sounds good, but I am alone with Buddy's stuffed frog and his cuddle blanket. Yes, you are all there, but you are not here. Buddy was the light of my life and now that light has been snuffed out. I take care of my parents who live with me. Buddy was my only ally. He was always there no matter how hard things got. Before he came into my life, I did not have a reason to go home after work. He has always been there to greet me at the door and follow me around like a little nosy shadow. My life has revolved around his meds and his meals and all of that. What do I do with myself now?
Kathy

[labblab]

Oh sweet Kathy, you grieve now. You grieve your darling boy. You hold his frog and his blanket tight to your heart and you cry or you scream or you pace the floor or you crumple into a ball. Because there is nothing else to be done right now besides grieve.

But every once in a while through the night and through tomorrow, I hope it may feel like a comfort to reach out to us here. Just to post a note, or just to read a note. Just to let us know you're with us. No matter how much it hurts, you will live through this evening and this night. And then it will be tomorrow. And then we will talk more about getting through your first day. But you don't have to do that yet. All you have to do is start with this evening.

[addy]

Before I adopted Zoe, I had lost my cat of 21 years. I lived with her longer than any human. I stayed at work late every night, nothing to come home to until Zoe came into my life a few years later.

Some how we pick up the pieces and when it is time, when we can, we carry on in their name and help another being in one way or another, however we can, Kathy. You always knew what Buddy needed and you will know what you need too although it does not seem like it now.

[Budsters Mom]

Send the guys in the white vans. Make sure they have plenty of drugs. That is the only way I'm going to get through tonight.

[addy]

How about the girls in the white vans? I can drive.

Hey, pharmaceuticals can be a good thing when you really need it, nothing wrong with that.

[doxiesrock912]

Kathy,
I am so sorry! I know this pain too and I also know how much you loved Buddy and gave him all that you could, even at the end. You helped him find peace without pain. So many people do not have the strength to make that decision.

As much as it hurts, you did what was best for Buddy No one can ask anything less.

In time, when you're ready - consider helping another furlet in need. There are so many who need great humans to live with. Each are special.
HUGS

[labblab]

Hey, pharmaceuticals can be a good thing when you really need it, nothing wrong with that.

Yup, "Better living through chemistry" and all that.

I can ride shotgun with you in the van, Addy.

[Budsters Mom]

I can't be trusted with a bottle of pills right now. I would be too inclined to join Buddy. It is best I stay away from them.

[labblab]

OK Missy, no pills for you.

Kathy, if you feel up to it, would you tell us how Buddy came into your life? You don't have to talk at all right now. But I would love to hear Buddy's story sometime when you are ready.

[molly muffin]

I've looked at your note it seems a million times and the words just don't seem adequate. I wish that we were All right there with you tonight, and tomorrow and every day that you need a friend to share a tear with, to laugh over funny memories with.

I hope that together, whether next door or thousands of miles away, that we are all stronger together than apart.

You can only get through anything, one moment at a time. Only someone truly amazing could have gotten this far, taken such good care of Buddy and been strong enough to let him go, when every fiber of your being is screaming no. A love and devotion so strong, so pure, will bring with it a pain equally strong. It is easy to say that time will heal and the pain will somehow lessen. None of us, except Vicki, stand in your shoes tonight. We can only say that we will be here if you want us and hope that you know that you and Buddy are loved a great deal. You are a integral part of our community here.

hugs,
Sharlene