Kathy,
This is a terrible situation for you and I don't think anyone here would expect to feel any differently, it makes me cry just thinking about what you're going through...but you are not doing anything today. Today things are okay and you don't have to project what will happen tomorrow or one week from now....one day at a time. I know it is easier said than done but you don't have to decide anything right here and now. If and when you have to go forward with a decision the right thing will be evident at the right time and that is not now. Nothing about what you're dealing with easy, like you said it's the hardest thing ever but don't get ahead of yourself, you're not doing anything today.
I know you are feeling very much alone but you're not. We are all here for you and for Buddy.
No one can predict what will happen so go day by day and try not to weigh yourself down with these terrible thoughts. Your heart is heavy right now but you will get through.
Sending you a big hug... Barbara