Mira, 7yr old Husky - Cushings ruled out; liver cancer (Mira has passed)

[Altira]

God Mairanne. I have spent my whole life avoiding to asking for stuff like that. An old vet used to say "well fido has given us 13 good years" and I knew what he ment. This sounds like the same thing. But Mira's only been here seven. Had I known a year ago I probably could have easily saved her. I will think on it Marianne. If they say put her to sleep today I will flip out!! Just how humane am I capably of being? She rests peaceful but not sleeping. Hang on for another day? Another bright moment that only feels bright for a moment. Does she want to go? Of course she doesn't she's only seven! Damn it!!

[Altira]

Ok Marianne I called. They don't know what the girl meant other than a doctor she see her. She said they would not tell me it was to put her to sleep. But still it could easily end up that way. Mira my sweetheart who always follows me (sob) limped into the room and sniffed at the front door. She wants to go out. She wants to go for another walk!!!

[missbeagle]

Janis -

You need to remain positive no matter what. Mira is hanging in there and you are doing what you need to do for both of you now. Although this is scary, I was always an odds player. If the vet told me there was a 50-50 chance, I usually took those odds and ran with them. Mira is counting on you to make good decisions and be a good advocate for her. Changing your mind is not necessarily a bad thing, it just means that you have changed your mind, that's all. No more and no less. Your being here and venting with us is a good thing too. We feel your pain and helplessness and want to help you make a good decisions.

Sending white light and good vibes,

Gretchen and Rusty in NC

[Altira]

I should go to ACC huh? And find out. I don't have to put her to sleep even if they suggest it? I have to get my husband to go too. I can't do this one alone. He may not agree she needs to. I'm going to get dressed and try to wake him up. This is hard I don't want to go.

[Altira]

I think I'm going to hyperventilate. This can't be happening.

[missbeagle]

Janis -

You don't have to do anything that you are not comfortable with - ever.

Gretchen and Rusty in NC

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Janis,

If you can, go to ACC and just talk to them. Take Bud with you and ya'll just see what the specialists think. Then you have a bit more info which may provide the answers you need. Have you talked with anyone from the cancer forums? Did anyone have any experience similar to Mira's story to share?

Oh, I wish there were words to help you understand that you are not failing your baby girl in any way. To emotionally fail Mira you would have to walk away from her and erase her from your heart, never looking back. You are right by her side instead, holding her, hugging her, kissing her, and doing all you can to keep her comfortable and happy as she can be.

I can only imagine the helplessness you are feeling. It is this feeling of helplessness that fuels guilt; we always feel there HAS to be something we can do, there HAS to be something we are missing, there HAS to be something somewhere but we are simply unable to find it...we aren't smart enough, strong enough. So we feel as if we are failing and the guilt begins to eat us alive. Which makes us feel even more helpless, and hopeless. A terrible, horrifying cycle which we cannot stop and we become lost in the vortex.

But, you know what? Not all humans are capable of feeling these emotions, of finding themselves in this vicious cycle, because they can't comprehend the depth of love required in order for our souls to reach such a state of despair. To shed a single tear for a "dumb animal" is beyond their comprehension! How small and empty and cold their souls must be.

You and I and everyone here have been blessed; we were giving souls capable of holding love beyond measure. Each and everyone of us knows when we first fall in love with our furbabies that one day we will face the pain of losing them, of waking up one morning to find their physical place beside us forever empty. Yet we take them into our homes and hearts willingly, gladly, with joy, and we love them completely every single day we are given to share with them.

You love Mira and, Janis, love never fails.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

[lulusmom]

Janis, you probably need to see an oncologist but if you can't get in to see one at VCG today, I would suggest that you take her back to ACC. Please keep us posted.

Glynda

[labblab]

Janis, I agree with Gretchen, Leslie and Glynda. You will still be in charge of any decisions, regardless. The info that the specialist can give you may help you make up your mind. But you and Bud are still the ones in charge. And nothing needs to happen today other than the vet just taking another look at Mira.

Marianne

[Altira]

We here now will let you know