My sweet beagle Maia passed away last week

[Ninjasteve]

And I appreciate it alot..Lord knows I need it to get through this difficult time..I assume you mean if I didn't give her those meds and she still collapsed and died right?? I would still have questions as to why but then it brings it back to without a necropsy there are no difinitive answers..and was also told that even necropsy can be inconclusive. Just seems really odd that the sheer coincidence how I give her new medication and in a day and half she dies.. I think anyone would def say ok ok has to be the meds..it's the only new thing I gave her..and again there isn't much out there that I can find about dogs dying from it that quick but there are those two instances. Just makes me wonder and question. The fact that my Dr and the online Dr both said yes her heart looks a little large makes me think hmmm ok but doesn't look that bad to warrant a death sentence..although I know things can happen too like strokes.. heart attacks etc where it can go quick. The other thing.that worries me a little.about it is she only had two days of a washout between the aspirin and meloxicam..this other Dr I was talking to said def not long enough and should have been 5 to 7 or even 10 days but I believe it would geared more towards an ulcer or something..and the last Dr I talked to said they couldn't imagine her getting one that fast and it rupturing..and again she did not vomit once..had drool.right before she was slipping away but no vomit..and def no bloody looking poop either..mushy yes but I assume was side effects kicking in. Just lost right now and I know I'm sesrct for answers that I most likely won't find ☹️😭 thanks again for being there though. I do wish some others would chime in..not that I'm sick of talking to you. Lol but there experiences or things that may have happened to them.

[labblab]

I totally understand about you hoping to hear from some other folks -- no offense taken at all! Unfortunately, things have gotten kind of slow around here recently. But if we're patient, hopefully some other people will be dropping by before long, as well.

(And don't worry, you'll not be losing me, either...)

[Ninjasteve]

Good morning..glad I won't be losing you ����..the struggle is constant and real for me... just wish I could turn it off..so I reached out to another Dr cardiologist yesterday at another university ( I know I'm nuts) and he got back to me pretty quickly..he says based on what he saw of her image that there didn't appear to be cardiac enlargement...but def a primary pulmonary issue..and her case sounds like it was complicated etc..so now I'm really wondering about the meds and it's disheartening for him to say her heart looked normal because now.its like ok then heart wasn't giving out as if.she had heart disease..again it's speculation and everyone has.their own opinion and I was told by the other cardiologist there was enlargement of it..but of course her vet and the one online say slightly bigger. Ugh..anyhow this one I reached out to never made mention that could have been a result of the meds so I guess.thats good. Thanks again for your continued support!

[Joan2517]

When the doctor told me Lena needed to see a cardiologist and the only one close was the Animal Medical Center in the city, I was in shock. Taking the LIE into the city is a nightmare and there is so much traffic, I knew she would probably die on the way. I went to bed trying to think of what I should do. I knew in my heart that I would need to put her out of her misery and had pretty much made up my mind that that was what I would do. How I wish I had been able to make that decision while I was there in the ER with her that night instead of thinking I would pick her up in the morning the way I had done the day before. It still kills me that she died without me; did she wonder where I was? did she think I abandoned her? should I have known that she would die?

I miss her every day. There are so many memories and so much guilt. Should I have treated her? Did I rush into it without knowing anything about the disease? Should I have trusted my my vet? Was 30mg too much for her? Why didn't I realize sooner that she had Cushing's?

All I know is that I loved her with all my heart, she had a wonderful life. We spoiled her terribly, she was my baby and I will never love another the way I loved her. I love them all, but it was different with her. It was like she sensed every mood and responded to it. She could always make me feel better and I hope I did the same for her. I remember sitting on the steps of the deck in the middle of the night in the freezing cold when she would have to go out. I would watch her make her way to the rose garden and jump up the one step into it, then jump back down and make her way to me so that I could pick her up because she couldn't do the deck steps anymore. And she knew I would be there for her; that I would take care of her; and do what I could. So I hope that in her final moments she knew that I would've been there if I had know she was going to leave me....

Everything you're going through, all the questions, the searching for answers just means that you loved her with all your heart; that she was a special dog and she knew it. Even if you find what you're looking for, it won't change the fact that she's gone and that you miss everything about her...that's what love is.



Everything I did for her, I did with the knowledge I had at the time.

[Ninjasteve]

Thank you so much Joan and it sucks when we struggle and try searching for answers and saying.what else could we have done etc..guess lesson learned is we know more now than we did before and if we come across anything like that again we will know to act on it quicker etc..In a way make more educated choices if you will. Yes no answers are going to change anything but I guess it's always that peace of mind thing. Just wish I had same answers across the board because now I feel as if they vary and really makes me second guess with the meds. But who's to say she would still.be here.now and maybe it just was her time..or.how much longer did she have because she was going downhill.
More so with mobility..and that's why I went the NSAID route..I had enough watching her struggle getting around..killed me..I just wanted her better and at.the snap of my fingers. Had some plans for her too with going on walks again etc..sadly that got squashed.☹️ I did reply back to that Dr.. hopefully he can clue me in more on it all. So odd how you present the same things like imaging summary etc to other doctors and they all have varying form of opinion. Yes I think she knew how much I loved her..well all loved her..just so empty in the house..strange thing is our cats have really been acting out since she passed..wonder if she tells them to? Lol thanks again for the reply and support. I always look forward to it!

[Ninjasteve]

Hey everyone..so I heard back again from this other cardiologist Dr..he said he has nothing he can say because it could.be a bunch of variables that happened and that based on this image alone..and it's of her left side..he does see any significant enlargement...then I sit here and say why did the one from cornell tell me he saw it looked enlarged..ugh...and of course my mind races again thinking the meds may have done it. Maybe I just torture myself searching for answers..ones that I won't find. Or least definite ones. Hope everyone is having a good day!! Oh and I read an article yesterday about a vet who gave her dog just one dose of rimadyl and it had a stroke.. that's crazy!!! But makes you wonder how risky alot of them can be.

[CeeCee722]

Hello. My name is CeeCee and I’m very new here. I just wanted to express my deepest sorrow for the loss of your Maia. I’m sure it’s taken all of your strength to manage through your grief. I’d like to wish for you that it get easier as time passes.

Be safe and healthy

[Ninjasteve]

Thanks so much for the kind words!! It's def a struggle..I have bad days and I have better days..never any good days..14 years with her and for the last few months or more was a routine..and now it's all gone..bed is empty..no more smells or sounds of her..and I continually bash myself of the what ifs..but in the end I know she is at peace now..no more dealing with this disease and hobbling around the house..no more with the breathing etc. I'm just selfish because I want her back badly. It just seems like it came to an end fairly fast. And the mystery of what exactly happened is what drives me nuts. Thanks again for the condolences. Much appreciated. I wish you the best with yours( assuming you have a cush pup of course) just cherish every moment with them because time does fly and sadly they don't live as long as us ☹️

[Ninjasteve]

Hey everyone.. haven't checked in in a long time. I'm getting better but still miss Maia terribly. It's funny because I had a dream about her last night. In the dream I knew was gone but yet I saw her ghost walking into living room to her favorite spot under the end stand and I said her name and she came running over to me and was so excited to see me and I told her how much I missed and loved her etc..so weird as it felt so real. I get grief stricken at the weirdest times and other times I'm ok and don't think about her as much. But it's that one time or thing that triggers it. Ugh 😩 hope all of you are well!!! I did hear back from another cardiologist I reached out to a while ago. She said looking at the image there was no pattern of heart failure. Her heart did look a little enlarged like others said but she had in her opinion non cardiogenic pulmonary edema. Which can be triggered by a lot of things. So of course could be the meds or still maybe a PTE. Unfortunately I will never know. And that's what I struggle with the most. Ahh again hope you're well!

[labblab]

Hi Steve! It’s really good to hear back from you again. For sure, grieving is an unpredictable journey. Some days it seems like you get to take two steps forward and only get stuck with one step back. Other days there can be a whole lot of back-stepping. Your dream sounds pretty amazing, though. I know it probably felt sad when you had to wake up, but so sweet that you got to tell Maia once again how much you love her (and always will).

All the information you’ve been gathering may never be able to give you a definite answer one way or another. There may always be a few pieces missing from the puzzle. But hopefully with all you’ve been able to learn and talk over, a day may come when you feel as though enough of the puzzle has been completed that at least you’ll be able to find some peace in knowing that you put together the most complete picture that was possible for anybody to fill in.

I know that with the fall and winter holidays coming up, you may find yourself especially missing Maia even more than usual. So we’ll be right here, any time you feel like stopping by once again. Take good care of yourself in the meantime!

Marianne