Too Much Grief

[Katy1]

I think I'm making some progress forward. Yesterday, I threw my phone in my purse, went to our local drugstore which has a photo center and a sympathetic check out person. Through my tears, I managed to print a few of my favorite pics of Gracie, and Annie too, which now adorn the refrigerator. I smiled to myself--through the tears.

[Joan2517]

Sounds good. I think I might still have undeveloped pictures of Lena. Back in the days of film...now I'm showing my age!

[Katy1]

Oh wow, I just don’t know how to express my feelings right now. Annie is doing fine and we are working toward the goal of getting her cataracts fixed as soon as her bg is fully stabilized.

We have Gracie’s remains in a beautiful pewter container on top of our fireplace mantel.It just looks like a decorative accent and not an urn. I’m still misssing her so much. She made it to age 14 and we put her down before the polar vortex hit. Gracie hated the cold.

I’m feeling so guilty because all my emotional energy has been focused on Annie and I don’t feel like Gracie has had her fair shake. I loved that hard headed, strong willed, out spoken loud mouthed miniature schnauzer with every bone and breath in my body. There are times that I feel like I’m ignoring her memory because of all the the time required to take care of Annie. But then I remember how much Gracie loved her little sister Annie. Actually, it was Gracie who housebroke her little sis. I hope on some level that Gracie is barking with thanks that her baby sis is still with us.

At some point. I have picked out a beautiful spot to spread her remains and the remains of three sisters before. I can’t talk about that yet, it’s too painful to think about but I don’t want anyone else to do it but me.

I haven’t allowed myself to cry for Gracie for several weeks and I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. Blessings, Karen

[Squirt's Mom]

One of my favorite quotes:

“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Cry, Katy, cry. Cry as often as you need, whenever you need, for as long as you need. Your tears are creating space for joy just as they show honor for the love you hold so dear.

Hugs,
Leslie

[Katy1]

Thank you Leslie for sharing those beautiful words. I haven’t read Gibran since my hippie days in college, but they mean more now to me because I need them.

I hope you and your pups and family are safe from the flooding in Arkansas. We are flooded up here in Illinois—not our house, but roads, fields etc. This is going to be the worst mosquito season ever! Blessings, Karen