New to this - Jake has passed

[Jakester]

Thanks angels. Have been in contact with Melissa.

[Jakester]

Hello again ,

Well Robin and I skyped with Melissa last night. We really liked her and she was very good.

Here's the thing... all week I had been looking forward to talking with Melissa and I really enjoyed talking with her. Today I am so down, I thought I would feel better. Anyone experienced this ?

I do have 1 more question about Jake. Do you think it would be inappropriate to e-mail Melissa ? Should i book another appointment?

Thanks for any advice. Barb

[Joan2517]

Hi Barb,

I think that we get ourselves so worked up before, and so sure that we will get all the answers we need, that even though it is a good experience somehow it doesn't fulfill all of our expectations. So we might get a little let down. Email her, or set up another session if it would make you feel better.

[Jakester]

Hello again
It has been a few days short of 4 months since Jake passed. Doesn't time fly even when life is not the best?
We are still grieving. We still have not put any pictures out because all we do is cry when we look at them. Robin posted his picture on Facebook every day for 3 months and I light a candle every morning (in the regular candle section not k9). The what ifs still haunt me. Our world is not the same without him. We miss him greatly.
This is normal right? We are really not off our rockers? It certainly has been a struggle but I am thankful for you ladies who understand and care about what we are going through.

Barb

[Joan2517]

Nope, perfectly normal. I am still grieving for Lena and it's 2 1/2 years. There are some days where everything makes me cry; others where I can remember and smile. Losing the ones you love are never easy. Gable has Cushing's and is responding well to the Vetoryl, where Lena died after 2 months...and I wonder why it didn't work for her; what I might have done wrong, or differently. Not easy....

[labblab]

Perfectly normal indeed. I don’t think any one of us ever really gets over our grief. With time, we’re just finally better able to live with it. The focus of our days finally starts to shift to our immediate needs, and then ultimately to looking ahead once again. But there are always the bittersweet moments of remembrance. More bitter now, more sweet in the future. At some point, hopefully the balance may shift. But for right now, you and Robin are still missing Jake so dearly. And you have every right to do so.

Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Who could know that deep grieving could go on for years, decades, even for the rest of our days? We don't know that until we have to face such a loss. My Squirt was my heart-n-soul dog. She had to leave this life in 2014 and for at least a year I cried every single day. For weeks after I literally screamed for hours every day. The pain was just too much. Every where I turned she was not there and the anguish would come tearing out of me in a scream. I couldn't vacuum or sweep because that would mean her hair would be gone. I kept her food bowl in its place for a year and would ge upset if anyone tried to lick it. I STILL have the last two meals I cooked for her in the freezer. I pull them out and look at them, telling myself I need to throw them out....but I just can't. Four years later, I still cry often...tears are rolling now in fact just talking about her. No, you are not crazy nor have you lost your mind. You simply lost someone whom you loved deeply. The tears, the screams, the heart ache...those are some of the ways we honor that love now. We hurt because we love, we cry because we love. I don't think I will ever stop crying or stop missing Squirt and I don't really want to because that would mean I have become accustomed to her absence and I don't ever want to reach that place where she is not missed terribly. You are alright. You are right where you are supposed to be. And most importantly, you know you can come here anytime and talk to us...we DO understand.

Hugs,
Leslie

[Squirt's Mom]

Dogs Never Die
Author Unknown

Some of you, particularly those who think they have recently lost a dog to “death”, don’t really understand this. I’ve had no desire to explain, but won’t be around forever and must.

Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say:” No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.” Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk.

It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone ( exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging it’s tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: “Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.”

When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead.” There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.

[Jakester]

Thank you so much for your support and for the stories of your beloved pups. Thank you for the story of "dogs don't die, the sleep" - how beautiful. You guys are awesome and I feel so lucky to have come across this site.

I am sure I will be talking to you soon.

Sincerely Barb

[Jakester]

Well hello again.

I usually read this site every day, even the old posts. I read something fromJoan and that is exactly how I feel.

I still think of the what it's and carry some guilt as to whether some of the decisions we made were right. I know we made all decisions out of love but I still question everything. Sometimes I feel like I am forgetting him (I'm not) so sometimes I make myself reach into my mind and see him. I don't know why I feel this way because I think about him every day.

Since Jake has passed I have become so emotional about everything. I am not in control.

Any thoughts?

Barb