I lost my sweet Timmy to Cushing's 2/16/11

[Timmy's Mom]

Thanks again everyone. I was thinking today as I was walking Gracie (Timmy's adopted westie sister), wouldn't it be nice if there was an entire neighborhood or community with people that were as understanding as all of the wonderful people on this site? It would be nice to sit and talk with someone, to be hugged, to know that when you walked down the street people understood and knew just what to do and what to say? Just the other day I was walking Gracie and one of my neighbors who hadn't seen me all winter said "where's the other one?" I said I lost him 3 months ago to Cushings and that it's pretty sad. His comment back was "you have Gracie." Like that should make everything okay. Now I know why Gracie insisted on taking me on new walking routes for the first month since Timmy's passing--to protect me! Instead of walking down our sidewalk and turning to the left, like we always did with Timmy, she insisted on walking to the right!

I am really missing my Timmy again this evening and I am feeling so alone. Timmy was my first momma's boy--he really loved his mom--I miss that. I am struggling with the fact that he had to have such a terrible disease--for all of the unconditional love, why this? He didn't like the vet and my poor boy was in and out of the hospital so many times...why..... I struggle with the disease, I struggle with how short our time was together. At one point I was optimistic, based on what I was told was possible by doctors, that the medicine could extend his life for as long as 2 years--I left the hospital that day in late January with my Timmy and I was feeling so hopeful.

Sorry everyone. I'm not sure if this is the right location for this message. I'm not technically savvy--my students will tell you that--though they do find it endearing. I was very proud that I could even upload pictures for his album!

Kathleen

[mytil]

This is the perfect location for your post and I would dearly love to see photos of your Timmy and your Gracie.

I know what you mean about what people say - I think there are just some who have not had the privilege and do not know the joy of being loved by a dog (or cat) and loving them back - IMO a part of them is missing. It is funny, but they would not dare say this if one lost one of the children (well at least you have the other)....

To upload a photo ----- At the top of the menu bar you will notice USER CP (far left hand side). Click that and you will taken to another page. On this page you will see on the left hand side a menu bar (going down the page) and click PHOTOS AND ALBUMS - click that and you can follow the instructions. Any problems, get with us.

My continued ((((hugs)))
Terry

[labblab]

Kathleen, the photos that you have been uploading this week are just wonderful! You should be a professional pet photographer -- seriously!

Reading what you wrote about Timmy and the vet really resonates for me, too. It feels like such an awesome responsibility to have to make these decisions for our dogs without being able to tell them what is going on. After all the vet visits, my Barkis ended up being so scared. I tried to vary the route, but he could always tell if a car ride was going to end up there. I guess he probably sensed something in me as well as recognizing landmarks. But he would start to tremble the moment he knew where we were going. And it broke my heart not to be able to explain why, not to be able to tell him that there was a reason for all the poking and prodding. That is partly what got to me at the end. I just felt as though we had asked too much of him for too long. I wanted him to be at peace. But I couldn't explain that to him, either. I hope he somehow knew and understood.

How is little Gracie doing without Timmy? Does she seem to be missing him? Even though your relationship with her is very different, I think it is sweet that she is helping you in these special little ways. Like sitting in your lap on Mother's Day, and rearranging your neighborhood walks. It is amazing how sensitive these furballs can be, and how much they are able to pick up on.

Since losing Barkis, my husband and I have become the proud parents of two Labrador girls, Peg and Luna. I love them dearly, but it is definitely true that each one of the three have had very distinct personalities. And Barkis was absolutely mama's boy.

Please do keep adding photos. I just love them all!

Marianne

[labblab]

Kathleen, I love all your photos, but the one of Timmy and Gracie on "Present Patrol" especially tickles me!

Did you also dress them both in costumes at Halloween? I would LOVE to be able to get Peg and Luna to wear something cute (at any time of year!), but within ten seconds they would be tugging and chewing and rolling and struggling - "Mom, you gotta get this stuff offa me, NOW!!!!"

Marianne

[Timmy's Mom]

Marianne,

As much as I would have LOVED to dress them up, whenever I did, I would always get "the look" from both of them--they were so ABOVE playing dress-up I was worried they might call animal control on me! On football Saturday around here they would "allow" me to put ISU Cyclone bandannas on them and in the winter they discovered they could stay outside a lot longer if I put on the fleece booties their "grandpa" custom made for them!

Thanks for asking--brought back great memories!

Kathleen

[Timmy's Mom]

I've added more pictures of Timmy to his album. I miss my sweet boy.

Timmy's mom

[labblab]

Kathleen, I love all of your new photos, too. Especially this one:

http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/albu...pictureid=2718

Timmy's little dirty face is so incredibly sweet!

I know you'd give anything (in a heartbeat!), to be able to hug your muddy little rascal one more time...

Marianne

[Timmy's Mom]

Thanks so much for writing Marianne. I love hearing from you. Just seeing the picture of your "avatar" with Barkis' smiling face makes me smile! I finally uploaded my own "avatar." It's my favorite picture of Timmy.

Kathleen

[Squirt's Mom]

I love the photos, Kathleen! The muddy one is so cute and I know it is one you will cherish for years to come. The expression on Timmy's face is just priceless - he knows he's cute and oh so very loved!

Hugs,
Leslie

[Timmy's Mom]

Thanks so much Leslie. It has been good therapy for me to post his pictures and write little captions. I hope all is well with you.

Kathleen

p.s. I finally figured out what "avatar" is and finally have one of my own!