I lost my sweet Timmy to Cushing's 2/16/11

[Timmy's Mom]

Hello.

First, I want to thank lablab and Squirt's mom for your very kind and much needed words of understanding, compassion and support.

I am so thankful that I found K9cushings.com

Until my sweet Timmy was diagnosed with Cushing's back in January I had never heard of the disease. I lost my Timmy just 6 weeks later. I was not prepared to lose my sweet westie rescue so soon (he adopted me back in 2005--when I rescued him his age was unknown--he was found as a stray in the middle of winter, had been placed in a couple of homes, was finally placed in westie rescue foster care and then he finally found me with the help of his foster mom).

I do not have kids of my own. I am a choir director. My students and my dogs are my kids.

Now that school is out and my students are gone, I feel like the grieving process for my sweet Timmy is starting all over again. In a moment of intense sadness, Mother's Day actually, I found the k9cushings site. Reading stories, one's that sounded so familiar to mine, reading the section on dealing with grief, and then finally joining and finding the open arms of lablab and Spuirt's mom, has been overwhelming and words cannot express how thankful I am. Thanks too for the assistance with the In Loving Memory section.


I wish I had discovered you earlier but now I'm here. Thanks so much. Timmy was my angel and I really miss him.

Timmy's mom

[mytil]

Hi Timmy's Mom,

I am so very sorry for Timmy's passing. Most of us here understand the tremendous grief that comes with it. Myself, I lost my Mytilda in 2004 and not a day goes by that I do not think of her and miss her.

I am hoping my little Mytilda has already met up with Timmy and he is being introduced to all the pups who have passed on.

Please do stay with us - and post more about your Timmy when you feel up to it.

Terry

[jrepac]

Hi there,

Yes, it's really hard; we totally understand how you feel. A day doesn't go by when I don't think of my special friend who is no longer with us. I can fully grasp how you feel with such a quick departure. I have had 2 Aussie terriers with Cushings now, and my first passed very quickly, despite initially responding well to treatment. It can be heart breaking. But, I was more fortunate with my last girl who endured for over 2 years with the condition. You just don't know...this stuff is very hard to control. And, it does seem that several of the terrier breeds are prone to this condition, unfortunately (boston, westie, aussie, etc.)

But, you can be proud of the fact that you gave Timmy a loving home for the time you had him...that really counts for a lot.


Jeff & Angel Mandy

[Harley PoMMom]

Hi Timmy's Mom,

Bless you for rescuing Timmy and giving him a forever home that was filled with so much love for him.

I, too, totally understand about one's furbabies being their kids as I don't have any children either. Losing them is so very hard and I am so sorry for your loss. Please know we are here for you and as you feel you can, we would be honored to hear more about your sweet Timmy.

Love and sending huge loving hugs,
Lori

[labblab]

Thank you so much for your kind words! They really mean a lot to me. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you've found us, too (so the feeling is totally mutual ).

I have no human children, either, and my dogs are my furbabies. My Cushpup, Barkis, was the first dog for my husband and me, and I was totally unprepared for the depth of the grief that I felt when we lost him. He was 9 years old when he was officially diagnosed with Cushing's, but he had suffered from a series of health issues even before that. In retrospect, I realized that Cushing's had been causing problems for quite a long time. We started treatment with trilostane to which he responded quite well, and we had a few months of relief as we watched him return to being a happy, middle-aged Labrador. But then neurological problems emerged and worsened rapidly. Although we did not have the chance to confirm our fears with an MRI or CT scan, we assume that the pituitary tumor causing his Cushing's had expanded and was placing pressure elsewhere in his brain. When he would no longer eat nor drink, we reached a point of crisis, and chose to release his proud spirit from his ailing body.

Our decisions at the end were forced so quickly, and I was so distraught during those last weeks of sudden decline. I had thought (hoped) that I would feel peace upon setting him free. But there was no peace, just questions and second-guesses and horrible loss. It took me a long time to find solace from accepting that we had made the best decisons we could at the time, with the information that was available to us, and loving Barkis with all our hearts. And I owe a huge debt to my friends here, for listening to me and supporting me as I took baby steps along the road.

I am very grateful for the opportunity to help repay that debt. And so it is with gladness that I welcome each grieving parent who joins us here on "In Loving Memory." That may sound funny to say, since there is nothing "glad" about the grief and the sorrow that we share. But I am truly so glad that we have this special and sacred place to honor our babies and to take care of ourselves.

So I welcome you to our family. And truly -- it will be our privilege to join you in celebrating Timmy's spirit and also to listen to whatever stories you may wish to share about your lives together. And that means the painful parts right alongside the joyous ones.

Sending many hugs, and anxious to hear more about your sweet boy.
Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Like Marianne, I thank you for your kind words but most of all I thank you for trusting us during your time of need and with preserving Timmy's memory. Before I found my home here, it never occurred to me that the joys, the laughter, the stories of life shared with a furbaby could be kept where they wouldn't fade from memory nor that there were people who felt as deeply as I did when those babies were gone. Here, we are all safe - those precious memories and our bleeding souls are safe.

I think things happen for a reason. Timmy was supposed to be with you - that is why none of his other homes worked out; he was waiting for you. The Universe knew your two souls were meant to blend, meant to be bonded for all time. The Universe knew the day was coming when Timmy would need the love and TLC that only you could give him, that only you would grieve so when he left this old planet. You gave him the life he was meant to have and you were the only one who could.

I also happen to believe that Timmy is not really gone - only changed. His spirit remains close, watching over you with the same love and devotion you always showed him. He is in the Rainbow Fields, whole, strong, and young once again, running like mad with his many new friends. When the day comes that our jobs here are done and we cross The Bridge, our babies will there to greet us. You will hold your sweet Timmy once again, cover his face with kisses, and the two of you will never be parted.

As you feel up to it, we would love to share in your memories, the stories of yours and Timmy's journey together. Please know you now have a soft, safe place to fall when it seems the ground has been pulled out from under you, as I know full well it does. We understand, and our hearts and arms are always open.

Fly free, sweet Timmy, fly free!

Our deepest sympathies,
Leslie, Squirt, Trinket, Brick, and our Angels, Ruby and Crystal

[marie adams]

Hi Timmy's Mom,

Welcome to you!!

I sit hear writing to you with tears because I too never thought the loss would be this hard. It has been 4 months since Maddie left us and the loss never leaves you. It gets better, but ...

We had the Cushing's under control, but the cancer got our girl. I still see her eyes looking at us telling us it is time, and saying why can't I just get up and walk with you like we use too...

We are now in the process of getting a new little furball, but now I have expectations to be met--haha!!! It will be a great adventure again that my husband and daughter will share in. We know so much more this time around.

Please share your stories of Timmy.

[Timmy's Mom]

Thank you everyone for your kind and much needed support.

Sweet memories:
Timmy had the most beautiful alto bark/singing voice. I am a choir director and he made his mom proud with his warm, velvety smooth voice! He also had a thing for white trucks! White trucks made him just go crazy! He had the most beautiful eyes. He LOVED his mom! I have many more pictures of Timmy that I will be adding to his album.

On Mother's Day I had a relapse-I really missed my boy. 3 things happened that were pretty incredible: 1) My husband gave me a card, (very unexpected and out of the norm for my husband)--the card read: "Pretend that I'm with you...because in my heart I am." 2) Gracie, my other westie, a very high soprano, (I adopted her from Westie Rescue about 1 year after Timmy--Timmy was already showing signs of Cushings though I didn't know it was Cushings then--his foster mom thought he might like a sister--looking back I think she kept him young!) is a true daddy's girl and not one to ever cuddle in mom's lap like Timmy used to--out of the blue she jumped into my lap while we were out on the deck and sat with me for 2 hours! 3) Later in the day, I somehow was led to k9cushings.com

My sweet Timmy was looking out for his mom--he sent me a card, he sat in my lap, he sent me to you.

It was a pretty good Mother's Day after all.


Timmy's Mom

[MBK]

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes reading about your sweet Timmy. It sounds like his spirit was definitely with you on Mother's Day. Don't you wish that he could have talked to tell you what it was about those white trucks?! I just looked at his pictures - what a handsome, sweet, little guy! Thanks for sharing his pictures!

My daughter is married and I am single so my two JRTs are a huge part of my life - they are who I come home to. I found this site just a few weeks ago when my Jack Russell, Alivia, was diagnosed with Cushing's. Some people do not understand how you can be so attached to a "dog". The people here absolutely get it. They are a bunch of wonderful caring people. I, too, am happy you found a place like this to help you as you are grieving the loss of your precious angel.

Take care of yourself.

[addy]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss but I am so thankful Timmy found you when he needed you most and knew your love and caring.

Timmy will come to you when you need him the most. It may be in a dream or some other deja vu event, like Mother's Day.

I too rescued a pup from animal control only to find 3 years later she has Cushings. Like our Leslie wrote to you, my wise for her years granddaughter pointed out to me that she was meant to come to me because God knew I would try very hard to give her a good life in spite of this disease.

All of us understand your love for Timmy and we recognize the grief that comes with the loss. We are always here for you and hope you come back to talk, share more memories of Timmy, whatever you need.

We laugh and cry together, we share the joys and the pains and we celebrate our love for our dogs and their love for us.

Hugs,
Addy