Mira, 7yr old Husky - Cushings ruled out; liver cancer (Mira has passed)

We are there with you in spirit...

I'm with you too! Just a reminder that some of what you were seeing had to be the tramadol... it has opiate like effects. Are you seeing the oncologists? Sending love and strength.. Kim

We are ok. We are tired. No death sentence today! Thank for pushing me, more later.

~~sigh of relief~~ plus hugs and belly rubs!

Ok here is what happened at Advanced Cridical Care today. They won't say if she is ok or not. They never once mentioned putting her to sleep. They did want to keep her there and give her an iv and such. Which i know would help a lot but i wont have her spend any of this time away from me confused and frightened. But she certainly looked better there then at home. I took all the notes I had made about current conditions and when it was. We went thru that. She defined what pain might look like and Mira had shown all those last night. Today seems much better. She even jumped up in my Jeep herself and made it! I didn't want her to try though.

Anyway, Mira is to rest. No more walks. She was given pills to help her eat. So far that has worked. She eat 1/3can of food willingly. They gave her a shot to hopefully help her sleep. That didn't work but she is resting pretty peacefully.

They want us to do chemo but I doubt that we will. But those people that do that may prove to be a big help. They can tell me satisticsly how much time she has without chemo. They can give us drugs to help with the final days and maybe most importantly be able to help me to know when it's time to go. That is if we make it that far. I have an appointment with them late on Friday. That could be too late. Some of the answers won't come until the biopsy result is here. Which hopefully will be before then.

We also learned that they will do an ultrasound on our ten year old Kira even though she has no symptoms. I see no other way to catch this dreadful cancer in time in dogs. We had our answer in thirty minutes. They don't even put them out to do it. And the cost is very reasonable.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Squirt's Mom

Dear Janis,

If you can, go to ACC and just talk to them. Take Bud with you and ya'll just see what the specialists think. Then you have a bit more info which may provide the answers you need. Have you talked with anyone from the cancer forums? Did anyone have any experience similar to Mira's story to share?

Oh, I wish there were words to help you understand that you are not failing your baby girl in any way. To emotionally fail Mira you would have to walk away from her and erase her from your heart, never looking back. You are right by her side instead, holding her, hugging her, kissing her, and doing all you can to keep her comfortable and happy as she can be.

I can only imagine the helplessness you are feeling. It is this feeling of helplessness that fuels guilt; we always feel there HAS to be something we can do, there HAS to be something we are missing, there HAS to be something somewhere but we are simply unable to find it...we aren't smart enough, strong enough. So we feel as if we are failing and the guilt begins to eat us alive. Which makes us feel even more helpless, and hopeless. A terrible, horrifying cycle which we cannot stop and we become lost in the vortex.

But, you know what? Not all humans are capable of feeling these emotions, of finding themselves in this vicious cycle, because they can't comprehend the depth of love required in order for our souls to reach such a state of despair. To shed a single tear for a "dumb animal" is beyond their comprehension! How small and empty and cold their souls must be.

You and I and everyone here have been blessed; we were giving souls capable of holding love beyond measure. Each and everyone of us knows when we first fall in love with our furbabies that one day we will face the pain of losing them, of waking up one morning to find their physical place beside us forever empty. Yet we take them into our homes and hearts willingly, gladly, with joy, and we love them completely every single day we are given to share with them.

You love Mira and, Janis, love never fails.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

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My gosh you write the most beautiful things!

No I haven't been to any cancer forums. There is none like this one. I have looked. I thank you so much for letting me stay. And going thru this with me. If heaven has angels they are all right here.

They said i cant walk her. So I took her to the store with me tonight. They said she could have dog biscuits so I bought a big box. She likes to go. No correction, she likes to be anywhere I am. Her seperation anxiety was partly my fault. She latched on to me from the start and I latched back. I think I should give her more Tramadol, she is very restless. Keeps flopping over, getting up and moving, in the pillow out of the pillow, biting on her paw. Half the time she lays on her chest with her front paws crunched up under her. She isnt sleeping, not in days. They say dogs dont sleep when they are curled up, they can only sleep lying flat. How long her days must seem. I haven't slept much either.

God there were signs that something was wrong. A cry and an odd reaction. Then it was gone. God didn't want me to save her.

I feel so selfish for keeping her here, but when you look at the interest in her eyes when outside, I think she must not be feeling any pain right now. I just want to sit with her and watch life go by with her. Boy who's going to have the seperation anxiety now? I'm far too attached to her. Maybe she is sleeping now it's hard to tell from here but her breaths seem deep and slow and it sounds like she is snoring. I hope no one makes a sound. As i write this I dozed off myself and dreamed of something odd I can't remember. I wake with a start and see only ten minutes have pasted.

Do you ever have bad dreams about your dogs? I do all the time. They are always running away. A collar comes loose and I can't hang on. Then I'm screaming for them. Screaming there name and searching. I often wake up and cry. I get up and find the one that ran off and hug them and ask them to please never run away. I don't let myself think of there deaths normally and I'm sure my dreams are the result of that. I'm like a dog, I am unhappy when I'm not with my pack.

When our Kodi died it was when buds brothers wife had died. We had Kodi put to sleep the same day we left for a funeral four hours away. I wasn't thinking. We left Kira in the house in the care of a dog sitter. Nothing new there but half way there I suddenly realized... Kira had never been left alone ever!!!! Ho my god what had I done! I was frantic. I asked my parents to go sit with her. They said she had torn up the carpet at the door where she had last seen us. That night I told bud that right after the service I'm going home. He said well see. I said no I'm going. I cried uncontrollably that night not for Kodi but for what my Kira must be feeling. After the service I jumped in my car and dashed for home. Thinking over and over I'm coming kira I'm coming. I found a very tromitzed Kira when I got home. She ran from door to door. Like where is Kodi? Where is Kodi? I calmed her down and held her. He's gone Kira. She was never the same again. I pasted out on the sofa with her under my hand. Kira was never that carefree three year old she was when we left. Now she will loose another. Her constant friend fort the last seven years. This sucks, it just sucks. I'm sure all of your dogs have suffered from loss too.

Going back to ACC again today. Hopfully talk to chemo people, hopfully get a ultrasound and chest xray on ten yr old Kira and little Mira is not able to walk on left rear leg. Yes the LEFT again. Everything on her left side is failing!!! That's the side I'm on too I guess.

I found in my notes back when Mira was six months old I had sent my brother miras current blood test taken at that time and i had noted that the vet was concerned about miras liver!!!! Way back then, I don't even remember that. Knowing me I probably didn't want to remember. So many things i missed. I hope I'm in time to save Kira!! What if her blood test was misread too? She has many highs and lows too. Cushings being in there once too!

Since Squirt was diagnosed with Cushing's, I see it everywhere I look. So many times I have seen pups and been 100% sure they were cushinoid only to learn they really were just old and over-weight! :o:rolleyes:

I hope all is good with Kira's workup today!

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

Janis -

Sending good thoughts to you and Kira today too! :)

Gretchen and Rusty