Suffering old hound
My maltese shitzu Oscar was diagnosed last year with Cushings. He had suffered a seizure in January 2022. The Cushings wasn't noted then by the Vet, I suppose he looked a little scraggly but the hair loss was starting to become apparent.
By the time I noticed his quick upturn in thirst a few months later, and got him back to the vet, the Cushings has got hold of him, hair loss was much more clear, as was a pot bellied shape developing. He had an ultrasound I think and all seemed okay. Bllod and urine tests. A few of those hideous ACHT tests later, and finally we got to what seemed a good dose of Trilostane late last year at 0.25ml twice daily in his food. The thirst was much better, drinkin down to pretty much what we had hoped, and the panting stopped.
Also he had developed these tremors last year, always focused in the top shoulders, and seen more when he is at rest. How much this bothers him I do not know as he has no trouble sleeping. Still, the vet had suggested half a pill of gabapentin to try help ease the tremors. Which I use sparingly at nights, as it really affects him.
Unfortunately, in recent months his weight has shot down. The hair loss has worsened. He stopped wanting his food in the morning, had an appetite clos to every evening, but it has meant he wont have his Trilostane in the mornings. Too many days when he has had half doses.And he has begun pacing, room to room, room to room, not circling, but pacing. Can be distracted by throwing his favourite toy to give chase. He has become very frail. Sometimes needs help getting up if fallen over some cushions in an odd position. The pacing is horrible. And along with these issues, he has started sniffing at his water bowl, trying to drink but failing, time after time. It is not reluctance, something in the mind..> i sti with him, and keep encouraging him, then suddenly he starts drinking again fine, until the next time. His water intake it around okay for his vastly reduced weight.
because he is weak, he struggles some times ot get up, mainly if in a bad position. Sleeps most the time, but is up a few times per day. I try to carry him to the local park, to then get him walking, as also has some arthritis in his legs. he still likes his walks, smells, and slow scurries, and seems to be smiling. Can keep going 20-30 mins sometimes with my mother and myself.
The vet visit a few days back was harrowing, I broke into tears when she was trying to explain how serious the 30% weight loss in 3-4 months is (9.5kg to 6.5kg). And with the other signs, could be that a tumor in his pituitary gland has grown. They took a blood sample. And may then move to an X ray or scan. Will get the results of the blood sample tomorrow. Vet suggested I move to .35ml in the evening if that is the only time he will take his medicine and treats, and to keep trying AM also, and just half the dose back.
Other than the horror of seeing him so frail, and deeply sadeening grieving already, I have known, at 14.5 years old, that he was not going to last forever. And now am in two lost minds. Will be guided by the vets mainly, though will pull myself together and lean fairly swiftly towards avoiding any life of suffering for my beloved little man. Yet when he will walk happily, of slowly, for 20-30 minutes. And when not pacing, loves to be stroked, and gently cuddled, and close, chase his toys...at the moment it seems a balancing act.
I have noticed during some of the pacing episodes he emits a little howl to me, as if to say 'help me dad'. Before settling after some soothing, or chasing his toy. Has only happened twice. Yet small changes also when he is stroked and happy, his voice is different, more whine than playful growl, more feeling than mischief. Though he does clearly still love to curl around and have his neck scratched softly and back.
All so cruel, already tearing me apart, worst experience of my existence so far is having this decision to make. And yet right now, he sleeps peacefully with his little paws curled, tremors when he breathes in the same shoulder sbut he looks peaceful, and I assume when he wakes, it will be with a stretch and eager for some food, and some play...but then who knows, a night of waking to him pacing, unable to drink from his bowl, then with some coaxing, able to drink again. Yet its getting worse. He will try to drink his water, then look at me and whine when he cant. Then more pacing, yet will stop in between to eat his dinner, then back. It is this latest worsening symptom that is leaning me towards ending what looks and feels like worsening bouts of misery which he does not deserve.
Falling over more often, and yelping oddly when I help him up. It all seems a hideous sudden worsening.
Have to be very careful as he is frail, so used to sleeping on the bed, but if he falls he could hurt himself and his descent is not as good as it was 3-4 months ago. Even with a pillow/cushion ramp.
Anyway, I am sure many others here have been through similar. Probably not much advice I can find, but a sense of solidarity I hope.
Thank you for anyone who has waded through my word swamp of woe above and comments.
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