Newbie Helicopter Pet Mom needs help/support - 12 yr old American Bulldog Part 1

[PatchsMom]

Thank you so much Joan. I know you are hurting as well. I'm sure you are experiencing the same feelings of loss, as I, this Thanksgiving Day and I send my love to help comfort you. Each day that passes gets a tiny bit better, but we all know, the emptiness will never go away or be replaced. We just somehow go on and move forward, one day at a time.

I share a website I found that may be helpful to someone experiencing the imminent death of their dog. Being curious why Patch was so unusually thirsty just seconds before he passed, I needed an explanation. I also wanted to ease my mind, feeling somewhat guilty that I may have not done enough to help him. I do know I did everything I could, but we always second guess ourselves. This information helped me, even though after the fact. Forgive me as I am not well adapted to do the actual link.

Signs Your Dog is Dying: A Caring Message to Bring You Peace - Dr. Buzby's ToeGrips for Dogs

Then feeling sad this holiday season and needing to feel "normal", I found these below sites that helped as well. Hopefully they are also helpful to others.

Grieving the loss of a pet during the holidays (healingpetloss.com)

Pet Loss and the Holidays: Four Things To Consider When Grieving During the Holidays (animalsinourhearts.com)

Surviving the Holiday Season After Pet Loss - Fidose of Reality

Thank you to everyone. We are all in this together. Sharing and caring.

Donna

[Joan2517]

Thank you, Donna. I will be interested in reading these. Hugs to you....

[PatchsMom]

Your very welcome Joan. If you or Marianne could enlighten me please, I would like to have Patch listed in memory of, but don't know how to add him. I also want to do a picture, and if you recall Marianne, I was unable to do so way back because of some glitches.

Patch was 14 when he past on Monday Nov. 2nd recently. I rescued him when he was almost a year old (like you Joan with your baby) from drug dealers who abandoned him. Not that that is important. He certainly was a happy boy and knew he was so loved!

I read an interesting article today I thought might be helpful to someone. I subscribe to Dr.'s Karen Becker and Mercola's newsletters. I think I figured out how to add links and hope I did it correctly below.

Compassionate Care for Senior and Terminal Pets (mercola.com)

https://healthypets.mercola.com/site...rid=1333998730

Moving on best I can, one day at a time. Many hugs back to you Joan as well,
Donna

[PatchsMom]

Well, I finally figured it out and added just a few pictures of Patch!!! Wasn't so difficult after all! Now to figure out how to show Patch's pic with my name.... Patch was like a little kid who loved to dress up and show off .. such a patient baby.
Donna

[Joan2517]

There's a link, Donna, about frequently asked questions. I think you can add your avatar there. I just went in and changed my signature to include Gable as an angel. Marianne or one of the other admins will be able to add Patch to the Loving Memory page. I don't have the rights to do that (and wouldn't know how anyway, lol).

And thank you for the information you sent. I knew he was dying from the fact that he was hiding in the yard and am furious with myself for letting our vet talk me out of that. He was in pain all day into the night...if only I had gone with my gut feeling.

[labblab]

Oh Donna, I’m so sorry I’ve been tardy about checking in — I had been away from home over the holiday and am just now back once again. I’m doubly sorry to have missed your news about sweet Patch. Absolutely, he’s now been added to our memorial list of Cushing’s angels, and it would be our privilege to also add a link on his memorial line to one of your new pictures. They’re all wonderful. If you tell me which one you’d like to have added to our memorial album, I’ll take care of it right away. Or if there’s a different one you’d like for us to use, just let me know that, as well.

As far as adding an avatar, take a look at this link:

https://www.k9cushings.com/forum/faq...atures_avatars

As long as you’ve already logged in before viewing the information, there should be embedded links that will take you directly to the area of your personal Control Panel that will allow you to add your avatar.

Once again, I’m so sorry about your loss. Thank you so much, though, for returning to tell us what has happened. This way, even though we know the days ahead will be hard, we can celebrate Patch’s life and beautiful spirit alongside you. Fare thee well, sweet boy.

My warmest thoughts are with you,
Marianne

[PatchsMom]

Hello Joan and Marianne. Thank you both for being there for me. Marianne, I would like to add Patch's pic #3 in his blue horse coat if you don't mind. Thanks. Not up to adding any new pictures as yet .. too many tears. Can't bear to see his Santa picture!

I’m sorry I haven’t posted lately. It’s hard to believe it has been one month since Patch passed. I couldn’t deal with the pain, and I shut down. I just couldn’t face the world, nor put on that fake happy face feeling so miserable. It’s been hard to accept reality and move on, but I’m trying. I became very sick due to being overwhelmed with grief, but finally realized I was avoiding it and reluctantly gave in to let it take its course. I’m doing better at taking care of myself. The pathology report finally came in recently and was positive for lymphoma. Not that it matters now. It’s just confirmation of what was suspected.

I’m still having trouble sleeping, but I’ve gotten through a few days here and there, without tearing up. Some days I feel like I’m in a time warp. It seems the same bad movie keeps replaying in my head. I struggle with the events leading up to and when Patch passed before my eyes. Questioning if I did anything wrong, if I could have done more and didn’t, all the ifs, if only and why’s. I know it’s all natural and part of the process I must experience. It is so lonely without him and all the wishing in the world won’t bring him back.

I have support which I’m grateful for. I do reach out. Some wanted to get me a new puppy, thinking that would ease my pain, although well intended. It’s way too soon to even consider at this time, if ever, for me. A miniature pet cow might be something to think about, down the road. I still have my cats for a focus thankfully. My daily routine has been difficult to adjust to and it will be a while before I can get back to feeling somewhat normal. There is this hollow feeling, an emptiness. No physical presence of what was, in my house, or any room, just memories.

With great pain, I packed up all of Patch’s bedding, sweaters, bowls, car ramp, bath and grooming items, leashes, harness and anything that was his. It’s amazing how many items you don’t realize you have. Yet I still find something that brings back reminders. Things I have no control over. Thunderstorms and how scared Patch was of them, let alone him not wanting to get wet when out for potty. Or how he’d seek solace with me in my office and crouch down under my chair to try and hide. These cold windy days lately, remind me of how I’d make sure he had a sweater on, especially at night in my drafty bedroom. When I hear the coyotes, I’m reminded of Patch barking to scare them off when they came too near the house. I gave away all his food and treats to someone in need and all his unused medicine’s, donating them to his local Vet. I used every ounce of energy to return the Christmas sweaters I had bought him, but I still can’t go in the areas of my yard where we walked. I believed if out of sight, I’d have no pain.

I’ve experienced many bad times in my life, and I’ve lost many fur babies, but this time seems to be the worst to endure. Most people consider a dog just that, but Patch was more like my child. We shared unconditional love, 24/7. I accept it’s going to be a rough course and I’ll eventually make it through, even if baby steps, one day at a time.

I’m hoping the link I’m sharing below works as it seems it wasn't so easy to do this time. The subject can always just be Googled in any case. My sincere hope is that it's an asset to someone grieving the same loss as me. It has been very educational and a great help in understanding during my pain. Ironically it was just posted yesterday, when I needed it the most. Part I and II videos run for about 2 hours, but well worth watching. We all deserve peace in our lives, even if not Christmastime. And Joan, I so hope the below helps you to overcome the blame we all go through or the misdirection we were given for our precious babies during our most vulnerable time. I still have the anger, mood swings and everything that grief hits us with. It's okay to be sad and to those uncaring others who don't understand, I say GET LOST! I'm slowly taking my power back.

Grieving the Loss of a Pet (mercola.com)

"https://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2021/12/19/grieving-a-pet.aspx?ui=1d064ce40419e3c6ec2d4b980a3ee320c6e248 51626cf551b9de8bfa1a58a40a&sd=20200527&cid_source= petsnl&cid_medium=email&cid_content=art1ReadMore&c id=20211219Z1&mid=DM1064515&rid=1354644038"]

Thank you for being there for me. I’m humbled. I'll not go MIA for long again.

Donna

[Joan2517]

Oh Donna, everything you've said is how I feel. That emptiness in paralyzing and I miss him so much. Thanksgiving was awful and I know Christmas will be worse. This morning's Facebook memory was him sleeping in front of the tree last year while I was decorating it. I still can not believe he's gone. I want to give my son his cooling vest for his dog, but keep forgetting, so it's right where I see it all the time...maybe I don't really want to give it to him. I made a photo ornament of him and it's hanging on the tree next to Lena's. I know she was happy to greet him and have him there with her. All of my old-timers are together again, except for Doree who I think will be next.

I know this will get better for us, Donna. We will never forget them, but we will start to smile at the memories again. There's no time frame for grieving and I have learned not to let the ones who don't understand, know how I feel. I went through the same thing with Lee. There are those who seem to just get over it and expect me to do the same. I can't, that's not who I am, and it's not who I want to be. I will grieve as long as I need to and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

I wish you peace and comfort for Christmas and the New Year, and know you can always come here. We all get it...

Love,
Joan

[labblab]

Dear Donna,

Your sweet photo of Patch in his blue coat has now been added to our memorial album, with a link in place to his personal line on our “Remembering” thread. I can surely see why you picked it — he has such a dear expression on his little face. Just like an Angel.

Once again, I want to “second” everything that Joan has written so beautifully above. Your family here will always be waiting for you at any time you might wish to talk. For sure, we realize how many different emotions the holidays can trigger. Years ago, we started a special thread that serves as kind of an “open house” during the holidays for all our members who have suffered losses. Every year, we open the doors once again. If you should wish to join us this year, here’s a link:

Holidays can be hard…

Either way, I’m continuing to send you my warmest thoughts, always in loving memory of your precious boy.

Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Donna,

Life has sadly kept me away from the forum much more than I would like lately so I am late in offering my heart-felt condolences to you and yours. You fought so hard and did everything humanly possible to make Patch's every day as wonderful as it possibly could be. There is no doubt he flew from this life on the wings of a deeply shared love. Nor do I have any doubts that we will all hold our babies once again when it comes our time to cross that Great Divide. Until then, he is watching over you with the same devotion you gave him all those years.

My deepest sympathies,
Leslie