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Thread: New to this - Jake has passed

  1. #41
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Glen Cove, NY
    Posts
    1,546

    Default Re: New to this

    Oh, Barb....it is so hard to know when it's time. I am so sorry. I'm sure he was letting you know how much he loved you. How I wish I had been with my Lena when she was set free. That torments me to this day. I wish with all my heart that I had been holding her in my arms. They are so much a part of our lives, especially when they have an illness that requires constant monitoring and care-giving. Everything we do is for them; every thought is about them; our lives revolve around them. When they leave there is such a hole, so much silence, so many what ifs.

    Jake knew how much he was loved and he loved you and Robin. I think that is all that really matters. Like Lena, he had a good life with people who adored him, as we did her. I have to keep reminding myself of that when I begin to wonder and the what ifs begin to torment me.

    Many hugs to you and Robin...
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Doree, Gable, Cooper, Angel Phoenix and now Sibble.

  2. #42

    Default Re: New to this

    Joan thank you so much for your response. It really does help to know that you're not alone.



    Barb

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    California
    Posts
    4,358

    Default Re: New to this

    Hi Barb,
    My deepest condolences. My boy Buddy was my life too. I totally understand where you're at right now. Many of us second guess our decisions, but what matters most is that Jake was and will always be truly loved. I will do my best to honestly answer your questions. Please know that these are my opinion only. Others may feel totally different.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jakester View Post

    BUT - did we make a mistake euthanizing him yesterday? You and Robin knew Jake best. Only you and Robin can truly answer this question. The most important factor, to me, is quality of life.

    - did we wait too long to do it I would not have syringed fed for 7 months. Only because I know that Buddy wouldn't have wanted that. He was the mightest of all lizard hunters. He needed to hunt and guard his family to be happy. Those things were his life, his purpose. Only you know what made Jake, Jake.

    - did we do it too soon My gut feeling in no. Refer to the next question...

    - what was the "thing" he did coming close to my face? Was he saying don't do it or thank you for doing it?
    I think that Jake was telling you that he loved you so much, but he was ready to fly. That he didn't want you to worry. Yes, I believe that he was thanking you for being strong enough to end his pain.

    This sucks! It is so very hard. We love with our whole hearts and souls. Jake has joined our other fur babies at the rainbow bridge. He is in very good company. Young, vibrant, healthy and running free. Please return and chat with us whenever you'd like. Once family, always family. It's been almost 5 years since my Buddy flew and I'm still around.

    Hugs,
    Last edited by Budster's Mom; 04-13-2018 at 08:43 PM.
    Kathy and Angel Buddy. The mightiest of all lizard hunters!

  4. #44
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    York, PA.
    Posts
    10,565

    Default Re: New to this

    Dearest Barb and Robin,

    I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your beloved Jake and my heart goes out to you both at this most painful time. Please know we will always be here for you both and if at any time you need to talk or support please do come back to us.

    The decision to let them go is one of the hardest to make but it is done out of the deepest love we have for them and I am sure that the very deep love you both have for Jake was what guided you in making the right one for him. Again, I am so so sorry.

    With Heartfelt Sympathy, Lori

  5. #45

    Default Re: New to this

    Kathy,

    Thank you for your answers. I am struggling so much and I feel so darn guilty. Robin believes we did the right thing and she is at peace but I cannot find that. I do not know what to do next. I feel like if I went grocery shopping or did housework or whatever I would be a bad person because it's the not the right thing to do when your beloved just passed away. I am a mess.

    So hearing that someone else may have had the same trials and tribulations as us is in a small way helps us process, even though I'm sorry that anyone has to go through pet bereavement.

    I sincerely thank you for caring and reading. I have so much more I too say but I'll give it a breather.

    Sincerely, Barb, Robin and our beloved late Jake

  6. #46
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    California
    Posts
    4,358

    Default Re: New to this

    You are most welcome. What to do next??? For now, take one minute at a time and just get through it. Do what you can and have too, leaving everything else until you are ready to do more. There is no timetable on grief and we all grieve differently. There is no right or wrong way, just keep plugging along. Eventually happy thoughts of Jake will outweigh the sorrow. For now, be kind to yourself and realize that this will take time.
    Kathy and Angel Buddy. The mightiest of all lizard hunters!

  7. #47
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    York, PA.
    Posts
    10,565

    Default Re: New to this

    I do understand how you feel, that guilt can really screw with your head, believe me I know. I think we all go through the "could of" "should of" "would of" but you can't dwell on that, and I realize that is easier said than done. With my boy, Harley, I agonized with the decision that I didn't start treatment sooner, it literally tore me apart. Somehow one must make peace with their decisions and the way I found that was knowing that I loved that boy with every fiber of my being and I knew he knew that too.

    As Kathy said, please be kind to yourself, we are here for you.

    Hugs, Lori

  8. #48

    Default Re: New to this

    Lori, Kathy and Joan,

    Wow you guys are amazing. This site means so much to us. We can be angry, we can vent, we can tell our story with no judgement and we can just be our messed up selves.

    Thank you, thank you.
    Barb and Robin

  9. #49
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    California
    Posts
    4,358

    Default Re: New to this

    You are not even close to being messed up! I take the prize on that one! To check out what true insanity looks out see my thread....

    BUDDY THE MIGHTY LIZARD HUNTER! It is very long. More than 1500 posts. So, start reading right before I released him. (Type it in the search bar and it will pop up. - It is closed for additional posting, so it's read only.) Start reading on post 942.

    The good new is that it does eventually get better and you will be able to move on, just as I have. I still miss him terribly, but I know that he is in a better place and we will be reunited when it's my time to join him.

    We remain here for you, as others stood by me.
    Last edited by Budster's Mom; 04-15-2018 at 07:19 PM. Reason: to add post #
    Kathy and Angel Buddy. The mightiest of all lizard hunters!

  10. #50
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Glen Cove, NY
    Posts
    1,546

    Default Re: New to this

    I couldn't get off the couch for weeks, except to go to work. I cried constantly and slept the rest of the time, hoping when I woke up it would just have been a bad dream, or that she would come to me in my dreams. I couldn't talk about her at all, and if I tried I would wind up sobbing. I still cry when I talk about her, but it is better. My big boy Gable and my Puggle Cooper just cuddled with me on the couch and let me cry.

    What I didn't know was that the whole week after Lena died, my husband was searching for a teacup poodle. Lee died February 19 and Sibbie arrived February 28. I was furious with him! I couldn't believe that he could be that insensitive! I wasn't ready for another dog, let alone a puppy!

    I don't remember much of that time, I was still in shock over my precious, but I do remember me and the two boys just laying on the couch watching this little girl keeping herself occupied because I didn't have it in me. I was a total basket-case, screaming at everyone, so stressed over the loss and now having to take care of a puppy....

    But my motherly instincts finally kicked back in and I managed to get off the couch and start taking care of her. I'll never admit this to my husband, but Sibbie saved me. She's not like Lee, she's more independent (probably because she had to be), but once in a while she does something that Lena used to do and instead of breaking down and crying, I can smile and remember.

    I miss Lena every single day; I still cry; I still wonder if I made all the right decisions; and I am still tormented that she died without me being there. I have all her things put away in one of her favorite dog beds in my room where I can take them out and look at them.

    I don't miss her any less, I've just gotten used to missing her.
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Doree, Gable, Cooper, Angel Phoenix and now Sibble.

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