So very sad

[labblab]

I still search for answers. My baby, my life, my air. My everything. Thank you for allowing me to continue to come to this forum. Has anyone ever used an animal communicator.? I think they can communicate with pets.

Welcome back, Dawn! Yes, I do think we've had a couple of folks who have used animal communicators and have found comfort in doing so. I hope they will be able to stop by to talk with you.

In the meantime, we continue to honor Kiki right alongside you. Such a perfect and precious little girl! It is no wonder that you continue to miss her dearly, and always will.

Sending my best wishes to you, Dawn, today and everyday.

Marianne

[Joan2517]

I would love to use an animal communicator...I am still searching for answers and questioning every decision I made for Lena. There isn't a day that goes by, that I don't think about her and wish I could hold her in my arms again. She was the dog of my heart...

[Squirt's Mom]

The communicator I worked with is taking a break but here is another one I have heard good things about. You can find her on Facebook but I imagine if you google her name you can find her elsewhere, too.

https://www.facebook.com/MelissaSehgal/timeline

[mommyslittlegirl]

Marianne, You always know what to say to provide comfort to ones that are so sad. I thank you so much. Joan, I followed your post and was so sad for you. Our babies are both white toy poodles, and little girls. I understand your pain very well. Leslie, thank you for the information. I think I will try her. Perhaps to find some sort of peace.

[Joan2517]

Peace would be lovely, wouldn't it? I go through each day doing what I have to, but Lena is in my thoughts always...the questions, the doubt, the "what did I do wrong"?? I thought we would have more time.

I want to KNOW she is okay. I want to KNOW she wasn't waiting for me to come back that night. I want to KNOW that it was her time and I didn't make the wrong decisions for her...not too much to ask, right?

I wish you peace, Dawn...maybe our little girls are best friends in Heaven~

[lulusmom]

I have spoken to Melissa Sehgal a number of times...a few were for readings which blew me away but her dog, Ginseng, also has cushing's so we've communicated about his diagnosis and treatment as well. She is an awesome person who is the consummate animal activist who walks the walk and talks the talk. She contacted me recently and told me that her schedule was freeing up and to let my friends know that she is taking appointments. What better animal communicator than a fellow cushparent? I don't see contact information on Melissa's facebook page but will ask her to let me know which contact info she would like me to share. Stay tuned.

[lulusmom]

Melissa's email address is melissasehgal@hotmail.com

I found the post below that I shared on my thread after my first session with Melissa. My Jojo had recently passed and I riddled with guilt because I was not with him when he died. I was a complete skeptic which made my session with her more shocking than had I been a believer. I had a second session with her when my precious Lulu crossed the bridge and I asked her to ask Lulu what she felt the night she passed. Her response was; "you know mommy because you were with me" and then she told me what happened that night. It was as if I was reliving it all over again. I believe Melissa is the real deal.

I'm sorry for not visiting my own thread in the weeks since Jojo passed but it was very difficult for me to get passed the guilt of not being with my baby when he died. I've spent the last several weeks trying to make sense of it all and even had a session with an animal communicator. I've questioned my sister in law and my mom about the evening prior to and morning of Jojo's death so much that they were getting very tired of me. I had my suspicions about the cause of death and they will remain just that but after doing a lot of research and my session with my now best friend animal and human whisperer, all indications point to something called pituitary macroadenoma apoplexy. In laypersons' terms, a macroadenoma hemorrhage.

I never noticed any neurological symptoms but apparently this can come out of nowhere and cause death within 24 to 48 hours. 48 hours before Jojo died, his appetite waned and the next day he refused to eat entirely. He started pacing constantly, whining as if in pain and constantly pushing his head into his blanket over and over. The morning of his death, my mom said he declined rapidly and was just laying there, motionless but still breathing. She was panicked because she couldn't do anything for him and was anxiously awaiting my sister in law to get home to take him to the vet. Jojo took his last breath shortly before my sister in law got home.

After pouring through everything I could find on macro tumors, the sudden onset, the behavior, and a probable stroke fit with pituitary macroadenoma apoplexy. Now comes the weird part and hopefully ya'll won't think I'm crazy but a human and animal psychic cinched it for me. It was a jaw dropping hour and a half experience with this woman who told me things she couldn't possibly have known about my dad and my dogs, both past and present. This woman was introduced to me by an acquaintance because she was certain her senior dog has cushing's and wanted to talk to me about it. When I found out she was an animal communicator, I thought what the heck and went for it. I sent her pictures of Jojo, Buster, Jasper, Lulu and my dad. There is no way this woman could have known anything about my dogs or my dad, who passed 27 years ago, and to say that I was stunned by the things she told me would be an understatement.

She told me things about my dad that only he and I would know. Everybody who knew my dad would tell you that he was a very strong personality and didn't take crap from anybody and he tought me to the be the same. The first thing out of her mouth was "your dad has an overwhelming aura and he says he doesn't take s**t from anybody and then she giggled, just like I used to do when my dad used to say that to me. I used the word crap but my dad always used the word s**t. lol What followed was even more jaw dropping but I need to move on to Jojo. The first thing she said when we switched to the dogs is I feel a lot of digestive issues with more than one. At this point, my eyes are blinking rapidly, my mouth is agape and I'm thinking what the heck...how could she know about spending so much time and money recently in er hospitals with Jasper and Buster's pancreatitis and my anxiety over their continued off and on eating habits. Then she tells me that she is most worried about Jasper because he has what feels like acid reflux or something going on with his esophagus and he's telling her that it hurts for him to eat sometimes. Jasper has a severely enlarged heart and collapsing trachea which I know causes him discomfort so another jaw dropping revelation.

Now for Jojo which really blew me away. She asked me if he had trouble with his eyes because she is feeling like he isn't seeing well and is experiencing a great deal of pain behind his eyes, like the worst migraine you could possibly imagine. She said Jojo crossed over before his heart stopped beating, like a stroke and he wanted me to know that he felt no pain for quite a while before his body gave up. This is exactly as my sister in law and mother describe him so I am overwhelmed by the eeriest of feelings at this point and it was to get even eerier.

She asked me if keeping Jojo groomed was high maintenance for me because he's telling her that he wants me know that he regrets that he was such a problem. A week before Jojo died, I'm looking at the top of his head with one ear bald and the other untouched and telling him that I didn't know what I was going to do with him. The second groomer had pretty much washed her hands of him on that day and apologized for no longer being able to control him. He had so much hair on his butt and haunches....at least once a week I had to cut poop out of his hair, which was a huge ordeal. Even wrapped up like a mummy he was out of control and trying to bite the crap out of me. Yes, he was high maintenance.

I could go on and on about the incredible things she told me about all of my dogs. She nailed them and she nailed my dad. I have listened the recording twice since then and picked up even more spot on information that I missed during our session. I'm not surprised that I missed pieces because I was in a state of shock during most of our one and half hours together. With this person's help, I think I am finally at peace with Jojo's death. I still feel a bit guilty but I know that my boy loved me and he knows I loved him.

Now you can all tell me how crazy I am.

Glynda

[mommyslittlegirl]

Joan, thank you. I still wonder if I did everything for her. I search every day for answers. I loved her more than I have ever loved anyone. I am hoping you to can find peace .Knowing you did everything in your power for Lena. Glynda, thank you for sharing your experience with me. I believe she is the one Leslie also recommended. When I read your post I was filled with a flood of mixed emotions. Sadness, hope, excitement, anxiety ,chance to help my heavy guilt. I am giving it much thought. And Glynda, one thing I do not see is a crazy lady. Only a lady crazy in love with her babies as I was with mine.

[mommyslittlegirl]

All the babies on this site are very special. All well loved and when one is lost, hearts are forever broken. I come here to perhaps ease my pain and lose some of my guilt. I have never been a happy person. . Than one day my neighbor gave me a tiny ,sweet baby. She was 10 months old. We looked into each others eyes and instantly bonded. A bond that was to last a lifetime. When she walked into my house, she never looked back at my neighbor. It was like she had been mine from the start. How she changed me. I started to smile and laugh. I made her my entire life, my whole world. We were almost always together. The years flew by and one day I was told she had Cushings. My world fell apart. I never felt like she had Cushings, but the vets said she did. I was to mild, to weak to stand up to them. She was treated but steadily declined and in the last year suffered lots of muscle loss, hair loss and I was told strokes. She was blind in one eye. To me, she was still the most beautiful baby in the world. I never let her see me cry. I knew there would be plenty of time for that when she was gone. I knew I soon would have to let her go. The day I released her, I cried all the way home. A rain shower came and than a beautiful double rainbow appeared. I had never seen one before. Eventho she has been gone almost 11 months, the sun never shines any more. It is cloudy .The rain comes every day. At times just a few sprinkles. at times a mist or sometimes a downpour. I still tell her every day I love her, thank her for being my baby. She made me the richest and happiest person in the world. Thank you Cushing Site for letting me express my feelings.

[labblab]

Dear Dawn,

What you have written brings tears to my eyes and touches my heart so deeply. You and your baby shared a perfect love. I pictured your double rainbow in my mind's eye just as you described it, and I thought to myself that it was a perfect sign, perhaps even sent to you from your baby -- a double rainbow that reflected the beauty of your own two hearts, forever side by side.

I believe I do understand why you still feel so sad, and why the clouds weigh down on you. I am so glad you've come back to write to us. I hope that by writing out your words here, a small crack may one day begin to open in those clouds. Your double rainbow may truly have been a once-in-a-lifetime gift. But the sun is always up above the clouds, even though the clouds may be hiding it right now. I believe in my own heart that your baby's love is shining right along with the sun, and my hope is that one day you'll feel her warmth and see that golden light once again. I hope that day will come soon.

Sending tons of hugs to you this morning, Dawn. Welcome back!
Marianne