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Thread: So very sad

  1. #61
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Texas
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    100

    Default Re: So very sad

    Today I feel so sad. Baby , you are my true love , my valentine .My heart hurts so much because you are not here with me . I remember the heart shaped sugar cookies with the pink and red frosting with sprinkles . How you loved them . Your eyes would sparkle and you would do your dance . How I would laugh . You are my funny little valentine forever. Mommy misses you. I just had to express my feelings and I thank this site so very much.

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Glen Cove, NY
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    1,598

    Default Re: So very sad

    Awww, Dawn. Lena used to love those kind of cookies, too. Well, to be honest, she liked any kind! None of the holidays seem right anymore, do they? They were always a part of everything. Maybe our babies are sharing a big dish of cookies today, dancing and smiling. Wouldn't that be something to see....

    Hugs to you, dear Dawn~
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Doree, Gable, Cooper, Angel Phoenix and now Sibble.

  3. #63
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    14,042

    Default Re: So very sad

    Oh, sending big hugs your way, too, Dawn. I love picturing our babies at a giant cookie party today — thank you, Joan! It is so hard when we miss our babies so much. Every time we write about them here, though, I feel like we are honoring them. So we join you today in honoring your sweet baby girl. And I’m so glad you’re allowing us to do so.

    Always in loving memory ~
    Marianne

  4. #64
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    16,130

    Default Re: So very sad

    I know the feeling, those little things that they loved and that every time you think of them you can't help but remember all those things they loved too.
    They were loved, they loved us and in this life, that is a very special gift indeed.
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  5. #65
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    100

    Default Re: So very sad

    Thank you Joan, our babies are so much alike. You always know what to say. .I like the thought of our babies sharing that big dish of cookies. Marianne , thank you for your words of comfort and for honoring my baby You are always here to offer comfort to others. Thank you Sharlene . You are right. Our babies give us the greatest gift of all. Their love. Thank you baby for loving me. I love you forever.

  6. #66
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    100

    Default Re: So very sad

    November was the second year since my baby has been gone. Since than I have felt a great sadness which I can not get rid of. .This is not a dream .She is not being fixed up so she can return to me . It has finally hit me . She really , really is gone. I will never look in those big beautiful eyes of hers again, hold her or tell her I love her. My life with her was like a beautiful book . A love story between a lonely girl and a tiny white poodle. In the first chapter it is a Sunday morning and this young brown haired girl anxiously awaits for her neighbor to bring her this promised tiny toy poodle. The moment had finally arrived. It was love at first sight . the girl and poodle bonded instantly. The girl is no longer lonely or sad. She knows love and joy for the first time in her life. The chapters continue . There is the first haircut , the first trip ,first park and so many fun adventures. Time moves so quickly. Over half of the book is finished and the days change a little. More days are spent on short walks, enjoying tea rooms, sitting on park benches and just enjoy being together. The book moves along and one day the girl hears some heartbreaking news . Her world is torn apart . But yet among the sadness and pain , she is still happy, her love is still with her. Than comes the final chapter and the book ends. The book will be loved and cherished forever as long as it is in possession of the original owner . It will remain dust free, no worn cover . There will be no yellowing or torn pages , no creases , no bent corners. Another book will be written . There is no title and the pages are empty .

  7. #67
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    rural central ARK
    Posts
    14,082

    Default Re: So very sad

    aw Dawn, I know too well how you feel. I have my own books. This Nov it will be 12 years since my daughter had to leave and in May, 4 years since Squirt joined her. Squirt saved my life when Gia died and when Squirt told me she had had enough, it tore my Soul into shreds. I do find immense comfort in the belief that they are together now once again and waiting for me.

    People like you and me are special. So many are unable to feel such a depth of love for any living thing, even their own families much less a dog. I am sure you have been told the same things as I - "get over it", "it's time to move on", "she was only a dog". What they don't understand is that we HAVE moved on, life forced us to, but we will always carry that love and that grief with us because you just don't "get over" a love like that....that our babies were never "only a dog". Our babies gave us a purpose, a foundation, a whole bright and beautiful world when we most needed it.

    But our losses also give us a gift - a gift of understanding and compassion, even empathy, for others who grieve as we do. It's not easy for me to come here, ever, much less day after day. But it is one small way I can honor my beautiful baby girl and my Sweet Bebe - because I can understand how someone feels when they find out their pup is sick, when that day comes that they lose their precious baby. Not everyone who has been part of our family here can do that - they just can't keep coming back here. But they have found other ways to use their pain - fostering, volunteering in shelters, working with a rescue to help place babies in furever homes and so on. They open their books and add another page, one that starts out, "Because I love you so I am going to do these things in honor of you." I believe one day your tears and anguish will lead you to the place where you find a new purpose too, a reason to open your book and add another page, a page honoring your sweet Kiki.

    Until then, know we are always here for you. Our shoulders will always be a safe place to fall. Our hands always reaching out to yours. Our tears falling with yours in understanding and shared pain.

    Hugs,
    Leslie
    "May you know that absence is full of tender presence and that nothing is ever lost or forgotten." John O'Donahue, "Eternal Echoes"

    Death is not a changing of worlds as most imagine, as much as the walls of this world infinitely expanding.

  8. #68
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Glen Cove, NY
    Posts
    1,598

    Default Re: So very sad

    Dear Dawn,

    I wish there was some way to help you with your sadness. I can see that little girl and her toy poodle.

    Lena's two year anniversary was last month. It still seems so hard to believe. Like you, I kept hoping it was a dream and she would come back to me, whole and healthy. I dreamed about her last night for the first time in a long time. She was in the clouds and I could see she was looking at me and she looked young and healthy again. I've only dreamed of her three times, unless I am in such a deep sleep and she's there and I don't remember. We were so close, she has to be there.

    I don't think your baby would want you to be so sad. Lena used to get so upset if I was sad or mad. She would hop around my ankles barking and doing anything she could to distract me...and of course she always could. I would pick her up and all would be well. That's what I remember when I'm upset, me holding her in my arms, against my chest, breathing into her poof and kissing her ears, her face, her neck...and her sighing that contented sigh I loved so much.
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Doree, Gable, Cooper, Angel Phoenix and now Sibble.

  9. #69
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    San Diego, Ca
    Posts
    2,130

    Default Re: So very sad

    Dear sweet Dawn
    I wish I could take the loss and sadness away. I read you beautiful story and the tears flow. It has been over four years since Apollo left. I find my self talking about him often. And on occasion cry at night when all is silent.
    Love Sonja
    ANgel Apollo and Karma, Ariel

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    16,130

    Default Re: So very sad

    I'm going to just send you some big virtual hugs Dawn and hope that somehow each day there is one thing you can find to smile about. Just one.
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

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