Brave Gabriel is now free

[mytil]

Your Gabriel is such a trooper and so are you! I too am hoping the seizure meds will start to kick in very soon.

This is really a tough question and no one wants to face truly. As Lori mentioned the quality of life is the most important thing and you know your Gabriel the best.

Keep us posted
((((hugs))))
Terry

[flynnandian]

i am sorry to hear that gabriel isn't doing well. their quality of life should be our number one issue.

"'I left my last dog suffer too long (addisons) - he tried to bury himself in the garden - that's how I knew. But his pain was more obvious."'

just remember this and don't let gabriel suffer.

it is hard to make the decision to put them down, we all know that, but i am glad that we can help our dogs die peacefully.

esp. tough working dogs like belgian sheperds do hide their pain and discomfort. my 3 ones were the same.

[molly muffin]

Yes Molly smiles, it is very cute. You can tell she is happy when she is smiling. Some dogs just do that it seems.

There are several quality of life surveys, here is one:

http://www.allpetsmacomb.com/qualityoflife.html

Things are such a muddle right now with all that is going on. I can't even imagine how very strong you have to be with Gabriel and the situation with the ex.

Big hugs!

[Gabriel]

Yes Molly smiles, it is very cute. You can tell she is happy when she is smiling. Some dogs just do that it seems.

There are several quality of life surveys, here is one:

http://www.allpetsmacomb.com/qualityoflife.html

Things are such a muddle right now with all that is going on. I can't even imagine how very strong you have to be with Gabriel and the situation with the ex.

Big hugs!

Thanks for the support molly muffin, flynnandian and mytil

I will look at those links. Oh I'm glad your dog smiles too

A few hours after the first anti-seizure tablet he had another seizure - 5 days after the last one - he hasn't had one since though so fingers crossed.

He is definitely urinating more ( in the wrong places lol ) more hungry and
and more wobbly and sleepy - that might go away after the first week I was told but the extra urination probably won't.
If you think Cushings dogs are sleepy and hungry - see them on epilepsy tablets ha ha - he sticks his head in the fridge whenever I open the door, goes through the bins, tries to steal food off the kids plates as they are eating straight after a big meal -

I found something he still likes to wag his tail at - I had a parcel yesterday - he got up and barked at the postman and sniffed the package and wagged his tail - he used to try to steal packages and rip them up lol - so he is still excited at that - never thought I'd be encouraging that bad behaviour

It's sunny and kids are off next week so we will take him to the beach and a few places for picnics - if I can get him in the car :roll eyes:

I think he will let me know when the time is right.

Ok you guys are going to think I'm crazy now - but my last dog Merlin I could telepathically communicate with - I can't do it with this dog though - Merlin was more of a human dog Gabriel is a dog dog if you know what I mean.

When he passed he visited me a month later in a mist ( I know lol... it looked like a bad 80's pop video with too much dry ice) and licked my face and told me if I needed him he would come back - but he was going on somewhere else to learn more things so it was time for me to let him go.

My life is full of such strange happenings - like seeing an Angel at a near death experience so for me this is normal lol.

Well while Merlin was put to sleep I whispered sang "Baby Mine' from Dumbo to him. OK sorry this may make you cry....

"Baby mine, don't you cry.
Baby mine, dry your eyes.
Rest your head close to my heart,
Never to part, baby of mine...."

So I was thinking about if I should sing it to Gabriel when he passes yesterday
and switched the TV on and Dumbo was on tv.
Ok that's a coincidence (but I don't believe in coincidences)

So that evening I was in my bedroom singing "Baby Mine' to myself thinking again about how Merlin passed when...
the lightbulb fell out of its socket in the room next to me and landed
in the bedroom as if it was thrown.

So I'm thinking its a message that Merlin is ready when Gabriel is to welcome him....

Oh well that's what i'd like to think...lol....

Every birthday the kids have their toys go off on their own in their rooms and I say 'Oh Merlin's here to say happy birthday' - it creeped the kids out so they removed the batteries ha ha - but maybe he's found another way to communicate through electrical items ? :roll eyes:

Ok I'm crazy but I'm over 40, single and from the UK so I am allowed to be eccentric now

[molly muffin]

Well, who is to say what is crazy and what isn't. LOL

Never say never that is sure to come back and bite you on the *&^.

I'm sure Gabriel will love getting out to the beach with the kids.

[Squirt's Mom]

Oh no, you're not crazy at all....or if you are, then so am I! I know exactly what you mean about being able to communicate with your baby - Squirt and I talked all the time, and still do. I would see her several times a day at first but as time has passed I see her less and less. I think that is because she knows I am healing and need to see her less now. But we still talk. This constant communication with her is the reason I feel no compulsion to write a memorial to her - we memorialize our love daily, she and I together like usual. When I am facing something that makes me nervous, or when I am going to do something or go somewhere I know she would enjoy, she is with me. What I don't understand is why I can't communicate with my daughter in the same way. So no, you are not crazy...and I live in the US where this sort of thing is usually poohpoohed!

[Gabriel]

Oh no, you're not crazy at all....or if you are, then so am I! I know exactly what you mean about being able to communicate with your baby - Squirt and I talked all the time, and still do. I would see her several times a day at first but as time has passed I see her less and less. I think that is because she knows I am healing and need to see her less now. But we still talk. This constant communication with her is the reason I feel no compulsion to write a memorial to her - we memorialize our love daily, she and I together like usual. When I am facing something that makes me nervous, or when I am going to do something or go somewhere I know she would enjoy, she is with me. What I don't understand is why I can't communicate with my daughter in the same way. So no, you are not crazy...and I live in the US where this sort of thing is usually poohpoohed!

Oh thanks both

[flynnandian]

how is gabriel doing today? i hope he is feeling better.

[Gabriel]

Gabriel died yesterday.
I had him put to sleep.
Hard day. Its going to take a long time to recover from.

It may have been earlier than I should have I don't know - all I know is that the dog before me was no longer the real Gabriel.
And what lay ahead was more pain for him.
Gabriel was never cuddly, he loved cuddles but on his terms - he'd cuddle then walk off. Or jump on my bed and cuddle for 5 mins then jump down.
This sick dog was clingy and cuddled out of fear, this dog was in pain and trying to hide it from me - and as much as I loved all the gorgeous cuddles I had to let him go - because - he had been sick only three months and fought past an ear infection, bad skin allergy, seizures and cushings - but was still so so sick, had headaches from the brain tumour and no tail wags or playfulness left in him. Just a scared anxious incontinent pacing dog with bad diarrhoea.
One that I loved so much for 11 years - and would have let him carry on fighting if I thought we could keep him happy and pain free.

We took him for a picnic the day before, he managed to get in the car through the back seats - we gave him a picnic plate of his favourite foods. He vomited it back up which often happened if he ate too quick. He then lay down and me and the kids massaged him as he showed his bald side to everyone without a care
He would normally have smiled and wagged his tail but he didn't. Still, we could tell he felt loved and he sadly watched little children play with a ball intently as if he was longing to be able to once again run over there and steal the ball like he used to with our kids.
Then he sat up and pooped diarrhoea and we managed to move the picnic rug in time.
To finish the day we let him off the lead to take us for a walk, we let him lead - for once he looked like he was enjoying himself - because he was pack leader once again - I think he felt himself again - that was when I realised how much his loss of independence as an alpha dog was hitting him hard - we walked real slow behind him - and at one point he even gathered the children at the back like a shepherd does.
He took us on a path we'd never been on before and found a bluebell field. He stopped to sniff the bluebells, fell over a lot, stuck his head in a lot of ferns but no longer left his scent to mark the way.
After 10 mins he turned around and took us back to the car.

So the next day the kids said goodbye and I took him to the vets.
I was 10 mins late but they made me wait 45 mins and it was awful. Everyone was commenting on how beautiful he was - they wanted to stroke him but he growled at anyone trying to touch his head as it probably hurt.
People asked me what was wrong with him but I didn't tell them why I was there.
As I sat and watched dogs of all sorts come and go I noticed one thing - they all had in common - no matter how bad the injury or how loud they cried - their tails wagged. I started wondering maybe Gabriel has had a mini stroke after a fit and can't wag his tail or smile anymore - maybe he is happy inside - but then I'd seen him lift his tail - and he ate ok. I was looking for excuses again.
You sit there long enough and you start looking at the door thinking about bolting for it.

Hopefully none of you will have to do this - I pray that all yours will pass naturally peacefully - but if you find yourself in this situation maybe you can learn from what I went through.
So first - make sure that you don't have to wait.

Secondly - I took his favourite toy although he didn't want it anymore - and his blanket - I should have brought a spare blanket because once the sedative started working he pooped on it dioareah - the vet asked me if I wanted it back - no thanks
So he was then unfortunately resigned to lying on the small square
of bedding the vet gave under his head only. I was trying to avoid the cold hard floor scenario but then again that's exactly what he has chosen to lie on these last three months as most of you with Cushings dogs will know.

I decided against a home death because of the kids and because he is a heavy dog to move. The last vets seemed to make it less clinical - I should have thought more about this I guess - still he was with me and that's all he cared about - he didn't mind the vets as long as I never left him there.

Third thing - I got this bit right - always ask for sedation first. Why would anyone want a dog to be awake through the lethal injection?
It took two shots in his butt and he still refused to lay down - he yawned, but stood there staring at the eyes of the vet - as if to say - no way am I sleeping and leaving you alone with my mummy.
He had to get a stronger sedative to make him fall asleep.
And once he fell onto me and slept it all went peacefully.

Before his body stopped breathing I said 'oh he's gone' and the vet looked at me and said ' how did you know?' his brain had gone but his body was still alive - but I felt him leave it - he half left after the sedative, fully left it after the injection - and I felt that he was no longer in that body. It went smoothly he just went to sleep.

I pray none of you will have to go through that - but sedatives are what make the difference. I can't believe if I hadn't asked they weren't going to use them - he would have been on a drip or something - and muzzled - he'd have hated that.

And yes he has given me signs that he has passed on to a better place - he came to me and said (I can hear what he was saying through feelings its a weird thing - I couldn't do when he was alive but this is how I was with the dog before him) - ' see how strong I am now, I could have taken more pain mummy, I am a strong dog, I didn't want to leave you I would have taken more pain but I know you didn't like me in pain' and he was jumping about and so happy.
He told me where he'd hidden two cuddly toys and to give them to the children - they are carrying them around when they feel sad and miss him now.

And I know my dog is back to the way he was because I said what cuddly toy do you have for me? and he said (well gave me the feeling - its a psychic thing lol)
' you were supposed to have my blanket mummy' and I know he said that as a joke because he had pooped on it. He was laughing at me and said ' you'll find something'.
Later that day I moved a cushion and a small dog shaped toy was there and I thought 'oh, you gave me something after all'

Doesn't stop me crying though because I miss him being here.

Thanks for all your support. Battle as long as your dog wants you to but don't let them suffer (even if they think they can take it )

My ex husband had a go at me for not inviting him to the euthanasia - and then had a go at our son for not ringing him - I rang him 3 mins after and all he did was shout at me.
Which is why I am glad he wasn't there. Just as he was never there for him during his life.

Not what you want to hear before you drive home.
If you can find someone else to drive you home - thats a better idea.

Anyway - I will pop in to offer my support - I was feeling guilty and sick about what I'd done and said 'Oh my god what have I done? '
I turned the tv on and the first thing I heard was a debate show someone said we treat animals better than humans because we give them euthanasia rather than prolong their suffering when their quality of life is diminished.
I don't believe in coincidences - I am being given help to get through this from those furry creatures above - you just have to look out for it

[labblab]

I have taken the liberty of changing your thread title to one that seems fitting to honor Gabriel's life and also his passing. But of course Gabriel is your own dear, special boy and so please just tell me what new title you might wish to have placed here instead, and the change will be made immediately.

I wrote about Gabriel's bravery, but I wish to speak of your bravery as well. There can be no trip harder than the trip you took yesterday. Driving in to the clinic with your dog beside you, and leaving with only a collar or leash. You did the right thing for Gabriel, but at such a cost to your own heart.

Thank you so much for sharing him with us, both in life and also now in his passing. You and he are part of our family here, and always shall remain so.

Sending my warmest thoughts of comfort across the miles,
Marianne