My Lovely Angel Luna

[Harley PoMMom]

Oh my goodness, both of those poems were just beautiful, brought tears to my eyes as I read them.

[Squirt's Mom]

I love the poem you found, Marianne! And the idea of writing down the things we most want to remember about our babies is just great. Over the years I have written many letters to Gia and Squirt and my dad but I burn them a few days later. In my mind I am sending the messages to them on the smoke. We can find ways to help grief sit a bit easier as we learn to carry it.

Hugs,
Leslie

[Tina]

Dearest Marianne,


I am beyond heartbroken to read this sad news about Luna. She was such a beautiful special girl and I know her loss is just devastating.


I haven’t been on the forum for many months, but you and my other family here are often in my thoughts. Frequently on a daily basis. I have thought of you both so much.


I mustered the courage to come here today to say that I had to let my precious baby Shelby go a little over 3 weeks ago. I am full on sobbing now after reading about Luna, so will need to come back to post on her thread. This is about all I can manage right now.


My dear friend, I fully understand the gut-wrenching pain of coming home to an empty house. I’m so incredibly sorry that you are suffering through it also. Many many warm hugs to you.


My most heartfelt sympathy and love to you and your husband. Ever on precious Luna, ever on.


Love,
Tina xo

[labblab]

Oh Tina! I’m so touched to see you here on Luna’s thread, but so deeply sorry about Shelby. I so hope you’ll indeed return to post more about Shelby when the time feels right to you. All our angels, Tina, all our babies are now angels! Barkis and Dakota and Jasper and Peg and Luna and now little Shelby. All our angels, finally all joined together now and forever.

And for sure, you and I are both joined together in these new losses. Two weeks for you, and yesterday was the two-month mark for me. I still look for Luna in all her favorite spots, and my heart still breaks every time I don’t see her. I’m sure the same is true for you. But it truly does comfort me to speak with my dear friends here, so seeing your post this morning is an unexpected and so-much-appreciated gift. As I say, please do come back to tell us more about Shelby so we can also join you in honoring her, and hopefully soothe your own heart, too, if even for only a few moments.

Sending my love and hugs flying to you across the miles, my dear friend.
Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Oh dear Tina,

As sad as it is to read of yet another baby flying free I am so glad you felt safe and comfortable to come home to us in the midst of your anguish. There is something sacred about this place. It holds soooo many stories of intense joy and abject agony, so much laughter and so many tears. Where else can we go to feel that many are by our sides who understand, who have walked this path with us before, and are still here holding out their hands to walk with us again.

I have no doubt your precious Shelby is with Jasper, Dakota, Luna, Peg, Squirt, Molly, Lulu, Apollo, Harley, and all the rest of our babies here. They were standing on the Bridge, tails wagging, waiting to greet her and show her the ropes. I know she is looking in on you very often as do her brother and sister. And we are here to look in on you. Any time you feel ready, we will be by your side as you tell what is on your heart.

Hugs and sympathies,
Leslie

[Tina]

Dear Marianne and Leslie,

Thank you both so much for the beautiful kind words. Marianne, when I read about Luna, I thought of exactly that – all of our babies are now Angels. And all together forever. I remember we lost Peg and Jasper within a few months of each other. And for me too, it has been almost 30 years since I have been dog-less. I can barely think about it much less write the words.

Every single thing you both wrote could not be more true. I am not surprised, as you all are the ONLY family/friends who truly understand the ongoing devastating depth of grief that I feel. The kind that those of us here all experience, and have experienced before. Leslie, this is absolutely a sacred place where I feel I have made lifelong friends. It is truly the only place I feel any shred of genuine comfort in my darkest moments and hours. Both in the past when I lost Jasper, and now. I was thinking of Squirt and your other Angel babies along with Molly Muffin, Flynn, Apollo, Buddy, Zoe, Lena, Lori's and Glynda's Angels too, and others. All there to greet Shelby along with Dakota, Jasper, and Marianne's babies. She might be having so much fun she won't have time to miss me.

Sadly, today is 15 years since I had to let Dakota go, so hard to believe. I just left her thread. Between her and Shelby I have been a mess today. I will definitely come back to write properly on Shelby's thread when I can. I miss her every second and am not able to distract myself from the crushing emptiness that is just everywhere.

Much love and hugs to you both,

Tina xo

[labblab]

It’s funny isn’t it, how the smallest things can trigger the biggest waves of remembrance. Right before Luna died, I had bought one of those big multi packs of individually wrapped American cheese. That was always my go-to with all the dogs, little pieces for meds, for training, just for little treats. There at the end when her appetite was so poor, I’d start each meal with a couple little pieces of cheese — just to prime the pump, I’d say to her. Then handful by handful, I’d offer her the rest of her food, sometimes with a little more cheese tucked in between. A little game we two shared, morning and evening, as I tried to get her to eat.

We’d only used a couple of those slices before she left us. Now, three months and many human sandwiches later, I’ve finally come to the end. I decided to have a grilled cheese today. I looked at that last slice and debated leaving it, but decided to go ahead. What good would come from leaving that cheese in the fridge? But now, of course I wish I’d left it alone because every time I’d pulled out a slice I’d think of her. And now that’s another connection gone. So silly, just a little piece of cheese. But I do so wish I’d left it alone now. I just didn’t realize what it would mean to have it gone.

[Joan2517]

Yes, the smallest things, dear Marianne. Just now before going to bed, I commented to hubby how cold the kitchen was and how much Gable loved to sleep on the floor because of it...a little piece of cheese, not silly at all.

Hugs, hugs and more hugs...

Love, Joan

[Harley PoMMom]

Huge and loving hugs from me too, dearest Marianne.

[Squirt's Mom]

aw, Marianne, I know what you mean. When Squirt had to leave I had just made a week's worth of her food. A few months later I decided it was time to get rid of it since it was no longer edible anyway. A batch made 14 packages for the week. I threw the whole bag away then an hour or less later I was outside digging it out of the trash. I kept 2 packages and they remain in the freezer to this day. I have pulled them out several times since to chunk them but simply cannot. It's silly but it's not. I did throw all her medical records away this week and have cried for days as a result. I stood over the open trash can outside at least a dozen times, tears just rolling but I didn't dig them out. They are gone. After almost a decade, they are gone. So, sweet friend, I will cry with you over cheese and paper and inedible food any time, any day, always.

Huge hugs,
Leslie