Re: Introducing Fraser - our sweet Fraser has crossed The Bridge
Thanks everyone for the well wishes. It's been a very hard few days, to be expected. I took him in on Tuesday (which was by far the hardest thing I have ever done), Wednesday was sort of ok I guess, a few breakdowns but not too bad, but thursday was awful. I had to go back to the vet to finalise Fraser's arrangements, i.e. cremation etc. I spent most of the day in tears, but it was like the final goodbye. Yesterday not too bad, this morning not too bad. I still get teary when thinking of him, but I have to keep up the brave face for Oz too. He gets upset when I do.
Yesterday morning he was obviously missing Fraser. I had to give him a bath to go to the groomers, afterwards I was washing all the bedding, dog blankets etc. That was hard, but I have left one blanket with Fraser smell still on it. Going to be a while before I wash that one I think. Anyway, while I was doing this, Oz was lying on the one spot on my bedroom floor where Fraser always lay. He's done the same in the family room too, was rolling on the floor in that same one spot.
Last time I was at the groomers and booked appointments, I made sure that the rest of his appointments for this financial year are booked in with his cousin Gracie (Fraser's fur wasn't growing any more so hadn't booked him in anyway). Yesterday he apparently demanded to be on the bench next to her (my sister dropped them both off). As soon as he was next to her he was ok. I guess he is feeling all these "firsts" too, that's the hardest part. The first time you do something that would normally include Fraser, that's when you feel it.
I guess it is getting a little easier, I have known this was coming for quite sometime, a week beforehand especially, so in some ways it feels like I have been grieving for him for a while now. I miss him terribly, but I have his photos around on the walls to comfort me, and find myself looking at them heaps. Lots of people say to pack their stuff up and put it away, yet I find that looking at his photos helps me. I had to pack up his toys yesterday (filled 2 archives boxes of them). That was really hard, but I ended up staring at his photo through a lot of it and even managed to throw some away (they were too chewed up and manky to be of any use to anyone). That was hard for Oz too, he took himself outside around the back of the house for a while, but I think getting out yesterday and spending hours with Gracie helped him too.
So I guess Ozzie and I are doing ok for now, considering. As usual, it's just a day at a time. We'll be ok I know, we just have to find our groove again, and only time will help that.
Naomi, Oscar and Marcie.
RIP my beautiful Fraser - passed October 1 2013. Original diagnosis Cushing's, but taken from us with rapidly aggressive liver cancer.