Dear Apollo
Where do begin? You are the one and only. When you passed a part of me died with you.
I feel so empty and lost without you. You kept me stable. You were my foundation.
How am I supposed to go on without you.
You gave me so many things gifts: joy, laughter, love, acceptance, support, comfort, companionship, loyalty, trust, surprises.
You were so dignified, strong , courageous in your illness. I feel so much guilt, blame, pain, overwhelming lose.
`Your beautiful face, those soulful eyes, those ears, I loved to touch, your paws I held so often.
Did I do you right? I keep thinking I didn't do enough to save you.
Your lose is overcoming me. I feel like exploding into a thousand pieces.
Everywhere I go, I see you: the car, the park, the bedroom, the living room, my office, the kitchen, the patio. Everywhere I go they knew you. They ask, were is Apollo? I break down and cry.
I have not been able to have an ice caffe since you left. Saturday and Sunday was our day to share whip cream.
I cannot erase you or your things from my life. Not today. I leave your car seat in the car, your beds around the house and on my bed, your food dish in the kitchen to comfort me. I hold your pillow with your tie shirts on it to sooth the emptiness and lose.
I cannot have what I want "You"!
Your Mommy Sonja

September 30,2012