Jasper (12 yr old Mini Schnauzer) is now at peace

[molly muffin]

I think that is how I prefer to think of them too, Jasper and Dakota together.

hugs tina

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Tina, I've missed you!

I did read your posts on the Dakota's and Jasper's threads several days ago. I have been unable to respond until now. I am very sorry about that.

I truly wish that I had a magic wand that could erase your pain, leaving only happy memories. Unfortunately, it is not within my power to do so.

You are so very special to me Tina. You were one of the many angels to stay with me throughout my darkest days and nights. You even would get up for a potty breaks and join in on many conversations to keep me company. That fact remains dear to my heart and always will. When I posted seveal years ago thath Buddy was the light of my life, that he was all I had, you truly understood. I knew that you felt the same for our dear Jasper Boy and sweet Dakota. Our heart dogs, our babies, our loves.

I so wish I could be of more support to you. I still struggle myself at times and it's been several years since Buddy flew. Sometimes it feels like forever. Other times, it seems like just yesterday.

I guess, the point I want is make is that you are not alone. Never alone unless you want to be. We do understand and know that there is no quick fix. We love deeply and grieve just as deeply.

I would love to hear from you more often, but do understand that coming here isn't always easy. Even now, losses cut deeply into my soul.

With much love dear friend,

[labblab]

Hi sweet Tina! I’m hoping that perhaps one day soon you’ll stop in again. I know it may still feel hard to do so, though. Mainly, I just want you to know I’ve been thinking of you. For some reason this morning, I’m especially missing so many of our old friends here, and you’re right at the top of my list! So hopefully my well wishes will cross the miles to you and you’ll feel a mysterious warm hug today. That’ll be me — secretly letting you know your K9C family is always right here by your side ;-).

Love, Marianne

[Tina]

Oh, Dearest Marianne, I have been thinking of you too. Thank you so much for your sweet words.

I went to look for our thread and was surprised to find it on page 2, and then saw that there was a recent post. I don't know why, but I don't get the alerts anymore when there is something new posted to our thread. I noticed it quite awhile back and rechecked my settings then, but I still don't get them.

Today it has been two years since my precious boy had to leave me. I have had an awful day, and wasn't going to post, but then decided to come to the forum. And then I see your lovely words. So many times I have tried to just check in on everyone, but then my poor shattered heart takes over. And yet I find such solace here even though it's so hard for me to come. I don't know if that makes any sense or not.

Today has been very hard but yesterday was especially rough remembering how sick he was two years ago and how I had to leave him home alone that day to go to work. The memory of that haunts me and I am so sorry. It was the day after Thanksgiving and I was just sick that I couldn't stay with him. Even though I didn't have a choice, it tears me up still and I don't know how to forgive myself.

I still keep waiting for some sort of tangible sign from him that he is here with me. I know he must be. I'm still struggling with everything so much.

Bubba, Mama loves and misses you so, and I talk to you every single day. You are always in my thoughts and heart. Smooches and nose bumps angel. Love you to the stars and beyond. Ever on my precious boy. xxoo

And love and many hugs to you Marianne, and to the rest of my special family here. I hope you all are doing well. I miss everyone so much. Thank you for always being here for me, it means more than you know.

Love,
Tina xo

[Joan2517]

Awwww, Tina. Two years, such a long time to be without them, and yet it feels like yesterday. Lena will be gone three years in February, and like you, I talk to her every day. This was only my second Thanksgiving without her and it seemed so much longer than that.

That first night I had to take her to the Emergency Clinic, I knew something was wrong that morning, but I couldn't figure it out and I had to go to work. I still feel guilty about that. I will always wonder if I had stayed home and taken her to the vet that morning, if she would have lived longer; or if I had stayed at the ER the next night when I had to take her back and been there, maybe she wouldn't have died. It still kills me that she died without me being there with her, the dog of my heart, my little angel.

Coming to the forum breaks my heart so many times. Feeling the pain and heartache that we all feel for the others as well as our own, is really hard. Some threads are too hard for me, hit too close to home, and I just can't write on them, but I read them and follow them. My husband says I'm a masochist, but I need to be here. My last moments and thoughts of my baby are here; the people who truly understand my heartache and grief are here; and the friends I've made and grown to love are here...so I stay.

Many hugs to you, Tina...

[Harley PoMMom]

Huge hugs coming your way from my house. Those would of, could of, should of's can really mess with your head, believe me I know but somehow realizing that I loved my boy with everything I had brings me some comfort, and I know you loved Jasper in that same way so hope it will bring you some form of solace.

Sending you comforting thoughts and love, Lori

[Squirt's Mom]

aw Tina, your words resonate with me deeply. Four plus years since Squirt had to leave and my heart still aches for her and tears still fall often. I hope that sign you are looking for soon arrives - the ones I get from Squirt stab my heart at first then a peace comes over me knowing she has never really left. They don't come as often as they used to these days but are cherished just as much as ever when they do. The last one came in the form of a dragonfly, who are said to be messengers from the Other Side. I was driving down the road headed home when I noticed a dragonfly flitting around in front of my windshield. I was going about 25 MPH and that little thing kept pace with a fairly even distance between its body and my windshield for a long time. When I remembered what they represent, I simply said, "Hello, Sweet Bebe" and it immediately flew away. I believe with all my heart that was from Squirt and finished the trip home with a smile on my lips in spite of the tears on my cheeks. This place has been my refuge for so very long, while Squirt was sick and after. It both breaks my heart and lifts up my Soul every time I sign in. You and Jasper are among the many gifts found here and I will always treasure your time here with us.

Hugs,
Leslie

[labblab]

Oh my dear Tina, I’m here, too. I’m so glad you came back to us today. I know it must be very hard, but I’m hoping that coming back will bring you some comfort along with your tears. Joan wrote this so perfectly and so beautifully...

My last moments and thoughts of my baby are here; the people who truly understand my heartache and grief are here; and the friends I've made and grown to love are here...so I stay.

I feel exactly the same way. We are here to support one another. We’re here to hold each other up. So we’re walking right alongside you today, Tina, and everyday that you need us or want us to be nearby.

Always in loving memory of precious Jasper, and always here in friendship for one another.
Always.

[Tina]

Hello Dear Family,

Today marks three long years without my boy. I still struggle so much with everything. It's hard to say if things are really better, I think I just live a brokenhearted existence of numbness to a certain degree. I miss him so much, and the memories of those last couple of days still haunt me terribly.

Joan, your sentiments that Marianne quoted from a year ago are perfection. I could not express my feelings any better. So here I am, the only place that I ever feel any real comfort or solace. The heartbreak is still there, but my family here are really the only ones who truly understand, and I thank you all so much. I know much time has passed since I last posted, but I think of you all daily. And of course I treasure most the everlasting friendships I have made here. I am sorry I have not been able to be as present here as I would like. I don't think I will ever be able to properly express how much you all mean to me.

My precious boy, Mama loves you and misses you more than I can say. Still talking to you every day, and hoping for some sign that you are indeed here with me. I know you must be. Smooches and lots of nose bumps. Ever on my beautiful angel baby. Always in my heart. xxoo


Much love and hugs to you all,

Tina xo

[Budsters Mom]

So glad to see you Tina! Jasper brought you to us. Such a blessing from such a sweet boy. We miss him too! I particularly miss our late night chats with Trish and Mel. You would often log on during Jasoer's potty breaks during the night.

I don't have words of wisdom for you regarding dealing with Jasper's loss. Buddy's been gone for much longer and I still struggle with it. With loves such as ours, the pain/love remain deep. I will never be the same, and yes, I do understand.

Trish popped in with an update a few weeks ago. I was hoping you'd notice and join us for a chat. Please check in when you can. I know it can be difficult to return here. We all understand. I think of you often and will always remember your love and support when I needed it the most. xxxoooo