Holidays can be hard...

[Joan2517]

Merry Christmas to all!

Lena's ornaments are on the tree just where I can see them from my spot on the couch. She was missed, and mentioned many times.

I put the dogs toys under the tree while Sibbie was napping, went upstairs to bring down the grandsons presents, and in the space of about 10 minutes she had gotten up and opened all of them! LOL! I managed to get a video of her shredding the paper on the last one , she just loves new toys!

[labblab]

Omigosh, Joan, I can just picture Sibbie’s joy and it makes me smile, too! Your tree is such a sweet bridge between your memories of Lena and the pleasures you share with Sibbie in the present moment.

I just read this quote this morning, and it really made me think. Apparently it was written some years ago by a Florida journalist named Jan Glidewell.

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.

Yes, it *really* makes me think. I’ve sure been doing an awful lot of clutching these past couple of years. And I do think I’m paying a price for that. But the past remains so dear to me that I’m not sure I even have the will to stretch my arms back out. At least not yet. But I do believe I’m paying a price. Maybe my task for this coming year is to try to build some more bridges, myself, between the past and the present so that I can travel more easily between the two. And maybe try out more embracing and less clutching. But will my arms ever feel as full again now as they did in the past? I don’t know that I’m brave enough yet to try to find out. But it’s sure something for me to think about this week as the new year arrives...

[addy]

How wise your thoughts, Marianne. I do understand and have similar feelings. Past, present and future. I allow myself glimpses of the past and then tell myself don’t look back, yet I know the past is so intertwined with every fiber of my being that even good, joyful memories carry the weight of never more.

I dream of days gone by.
To understand
To hold a hand
I dream of days gone by.

I dream of days to come.
To hold so dear
No time to fear
I dream of days to come.

Happy New Year Everyone!
May we shed the weight of never more and dream of better days to come.

[labblab]

Addy, thank you so much for your lovely poem, and I can think of no better way to gently close the door of this year’s K9C holiday house than by taking what you’ve written to heart. It’s really perfect.

In a few minutes, I’ll be heading off to take in my beautiful Christmas tree to be turned into mulch to bed a spring garden or a hiking trail. I’m so glad it will live on in a useful way, but the corner of the living room will sure look awfully dark again this evening...

Many thanks to all our family who stopped by to chat these last few weeks. Stay safe, stay healthy, and all best wishes for a much happier new year for us all.

Marianne

[labblab]

Hey everybody, I decided that today’s the day to go ahead and reopen the doors to our annual autumn Holiday House! I think I’m a bit earlier than usual, but I see that Monday is Canadian Thanksgiving, and I wanted to be sure our House was all ready on the chance that any of our Canadian members might be dropping in. And even if not, this way we’ll have a head start on Halloween ;-)…

As I wrote on our “Pandemic” thread, I’m not sure what the plans are for our neighborhood kids this year. But even if we just repeat what we did last year — card table on the driveway with individual candy bags for the kids to pick up — that still turned out to be a lot of fun for me. So I’m going ahead and buying candy like usual (all my own favorites, of course, in case the kids *don’t* show up & we’re forced to eat it ourselves :-). And this afternoon I started to put up some decorations inside the house, with more to follow outside.

We’re so grateful to still have Luna alongside us. She gave us a scare last week. Her rear end definitely started collapsing even more and she didn’t want to eat at all for a couple of days. Things did not look good. But she seems to have now stabilized and plateaued at this new lower level, and we’re all hanging in there for now. The ceremonial orange Halloween collar will be all ready for her on the 31st and our fingers are surely crossed that she’ll be wanting to wear it. Our precious girl.

So that’s the news from my house on this (finally) lovely October evening — after four straight days of rain. It’s good to see a pretty orange sunset out of my window with Luna dozing on the couch alongside me. Take care, everybody, and please do stop by any time you feel like chatting. The *rules* remain the same as always: that there are no rules! Happy or sad, smiles or tears, good news or bad. We know the holidays can bring a wild mixture of emotions and memories. Nothing is off base, and nobody has to put on a brave face. We’ve got each other’s backs here, and always will. So please come on in any time you wish.

Best wishes always,
Marianne

[Joan2517]

We must be on the same wave length, Marianne...I also started decorating inside today. This year I hung Lena's Boo shirt on the mantel in my Living Room...Sibbie has a new Halloween dress to wear. She also has a Pennywise tee shirt, just for Josh.

The weather has been perfect for outside decorating, so I've been doing a little at a time. Anything broken or not up to par goes in the garbage...no more hoarding! Hubby can't help much, so I have to wait for Juan, who is our handyman, to come and help me with hanging things that need a ladder. I'm not overdoing this year.

I love the Fall...soups simmering on the stove; pies/cakes cooking in the oven; air conditioners off/windows open to hear the birds during the day and the sounds at night; leaves changing color; and all the activities that we've done for years with the kids and now grandkids. Last year was sad, but this year most of the traditions are on again. Hopefully things will continue on the path to normal.

I hope Luna hangs on longer. Gable is having trouble getting up, he lays down a lot, and I noticed his back legs quivering. But he still seems happy, so I'm hoping for more time. His breathing seems better now that the weather is cooler, so maybe that was just the humidity. He doesn't want to stay out as much as he used to. Lena got that way too. It's hard to believe he's the same dog who used to climb up the steps and sit on top of the kid's playhouse and look out over the yard. He could never do that now. Cushing's has changed him just like it did Lena, but in different ways. She was so attached to me, but started avoiding me...and he was so independent, but now follows me around all the time. I step out of the shower and he's lying there waiting for me; in the kitchen I have to constantly be aware of where he is or I'll trip over him....maybe he's just gotten used to me being home all the time.

But for now, we are all still together. Another holiday season coming up. I really didn't think we would be here in this house for this one, but so far so good. Life is different, but still good.

Love to all!!

[labblab]

Oh Joan, yep I think we’re on the same wavelength for sure! I love reading about your preparations, too, and especially about Lena’s Boo shirt going on the mantel. That is such a dear idea. I really am holding my breath that Luna will be able to wear the orange collar. We are really just taking things one day at a time. That’s all we can do. And I’m trying hard not to panic and to stay as calm as I can and savor each remaining day we’re given. She’s not hungry again this morning which makes me anxious, but hopefully her appetite will pick up again later in the day. She totally refuses her kibble, but this past week she has been willing to eat some canned food and also scrambled eggs when I offer it by hand. She can still make her trips out to the front yard to do her chores and sniff around for a few minutes. And she seems totally comfortable when she’s napping, which is most of the day now, too, like Gable. Remarkably, she can still jump up on the loveseat which is her favorite place to nap aside from her crate which is also in our living room. With her weak hind legs, I don’t know how she still can make that little jump, but I guess where there’s a will, there’s a way!

One of the hardest changes for me is that obviously the stairs are now totally out, and ever since Peg died, Luna had spent every night on her cushion at the foot of our own bed. That all changed two weekends ago when her rear end gave out even more. We keep the stairs blocked now so she won’t try them and fall. The first week I slept downstairs with her because I just couldn’t bear for her to be alone. But she’s a really heavy sleeper and seemed to be fine, so we set up her dogbed at the foot of the stairs and I’m now back in my own bed, too. Several mornings now I’ve found her on her bed when I’ve come down, and that has made me feel a little better about things. Dang, if only she was a little dog we could carry her up and down and all around. But as big as she is, she can only go to the places she can manage on her own. But her tail is still wagging and her own spirit is calm so I’m trying to follow her lead as best I can. And as I say, fingers crossed that she’ll be sporting her orange collar come the 31st!

[gingerbread]

Good evening everyone. Like you all, the decorations are beginning to go up around town here. The cool temperatures are so welcomed. Some of the trees are beginning to turn and I hope we get plenty of color this fall. This was Gingers favorite time of year. I think because it wasn't so hot. She could walk and walk and walk. She especially loved when the leaves had fallen. She would find the deepest piles and march right through them. I don't know if she liked the noise it made, or just the fact that it was something different. I pray Luna will do well, feel good and enjoy her orange collar! My heart reaches across the miles with hugs for both of you and journeys with your precious pups. I have to admit, the first color changes I saw and the first crisp morning brought me to tears. I so longed for another fall with Ginger. 31 weeks have past and sometimes still it feels like yesterday.
Of course after fall, I would want just one more winter as Ging loved the snow.. her little feet got cold quick, but she loved to walk in it, eat it as she walked and roll in as much as she could!! I am already feeling the anxiousness of my first snow, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas without her.
I would still take this pain and grief every day though to spare her.. BUT I STILL WANT HER BACK! ( But healthy)
Blessing to all.
Colleen

[labblab]

Hi Colleen <waving!!>, we’re so glad you’ve joined us :-))). We’ll be right here beside you as you face all these holiday “firsts.” For sure, the holidays seem to multiply both the sweet memories and also the pain. For me, that has turned out to be a double-edged sword — it’s been hard for me to try to craft some new traditions because, truthfully, I’m still not ready to let loose of the past. I’m still trying to figure out how to negotiate that path, myself. This will be the third set of holidays without my mom. The first year was awful; last year was more mixed. Ironically, maybe due to the pandemic, it felt less surprising to just be hubby, Luna and me. This year is starting to feel a lot harder for me again. Like yep, she’s really, really never gonna be here with us again. And our worry over Luna isn’t helping things, either. But the flip side is that Luna *is* still with us, so I’m trying my best to savor every holiday tradition with her that I can — like the orange collar.

I love hearing about Ginger’s joy in the leaves and the snow. My doggies have surely taught me how to see the beauties of nature in a different way — by keeping my eyes and ears a lot closer to the ground! I’ll never know what all it is that they’re smelling, but boy, it’s got to be special ;-).

That’s so neat that you’re starting to get fall color out there. It seems like we’re starting late here in north Georgia. We’ve been so wet all summer and I’m not sure whether that helps or hurts in terms of color. And as dry as it’s been in so much of the west, I’m thinking the eastern slope of the Front Range has actually been OK as far as moisture this year? But again, if so, does that help or hurt the color?

I went to college in Boulder, and one of the best days of my life was an autumn day trip with friends to Vail. It was a perfect crystalline October day. Brilliant blue sky, and the aspen at their peak. I sucked the beauty into every pore of my body, I think! When I close my eyes, I swear I can still feel the beauty of that day. It was so special. And I can tell that you’ll always carry the joy of those special days spent with Ginger inside your heart, as well. But the flip side is that it makes the pain of the absence and the loss even deeper. I’m so sorry about that part. But we love sharing your memories with you, though, and we’ll sit right here beside you through any tears. So once again, welcome to our House for the holidays!

[gingerbread]

Hi Marianne,
Always appreciate the support and I am so very thankful for that. I know I will need it.
First, I am so sorry about your mom. I understand. I lost my dad July 2016 and the first holiday season was horrible. We were blessed to have him 91 years and even though he had dementia, his death was unexpected. Mom is not battling dementia herself. She turned 91 in May. They married when she was 17 and a junior in high school. They had just celebrated their 69th wedding anniversary the month before daddy passed. It really devastated her. Thankful our family is a good support system.
Dad and Ginger were the best of friends. When he would have a sandwich in the livingroom, Ginger would hop up in the recliner and hang her front feet over the arm and just watch daddy. He always saved her a little bite.
I have a great set of pictures of the 2 of them.
When I raked leaves in Colorado, as I had mentioned before Ging loved playing in them. The funniest thing was after I filled a big black leaf bag, she would hop up in the bag and just sit there! It was the funniest and cutest thing ever. I have a picture of that too!
Also on the fall color change, it usually takes a damp growing season and dry cool fall, but not freezing. The Aspen trees as well as the ones here in Indiana as the same. We moved here to Indiana when my mom, dad and sister moved here. Dad needed oxygen in Colorado and when they came out for one of my other sisters daughters graduation, they realized daddy did not need the oxygen here, so mom said they were not going back to Colorado.
So we moved out here to help with dad.. and now mom.
Love it here.. small town, plenty of farmland much slower pace.