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Thread: Holidays can be hard...

  1. #261
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
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    Mandeville, La
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    129

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    I feel Tank is all around me. He follows me wherever I go. I couldn't ask for a better gift, today or any other day. Merry Christmas everyone.

    ~Kat

  2. #262
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    California
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    4,370

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Well, we got thru Christmas. So happy to hear that Addy put up Zoe's beautiful bird tree. It is so odd how different our pups are, even with the same family. Buddy, like Koko and Luna, never bothered the Christmas tree or any decorations. Rosie, is fascinated by it all. She has a magnetic force that draws her to anything and everything new, shiny, or sparkly. Naturally, I had to pen the tree again this year. Even still, I have found her (multiple times) lying by the penned tree and sticking her paws through the wires. The tree skirt has pom-poms all around it. I think Rosie thinks they are a little balls, just for her.

    Rosie has been overjoyed having me home on break. She is absolutely gleeful. A bouncy little elf sharing her endless array of bones and toys.
    Last edited by Budster's Mom; 12-28-2016 at 05:57 AM.

  3. #263
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Canada
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    16,130

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    It is official I do not like some surprises. It is the caught unaware surprise that makes one break into uncontrollable bawling that I absolutely hate.

    Everyone is gathered around, opening gifts, and one is put on my lap, and told this is a special gift and for everyone to be quiet while I open it. I'm thinking Huh, whats up. And then I open the most beautiful red snowflake with a picture of molly in the center on both sides. A special ornament with my favorite pictures of her. And I burst into tears, with everyone looking at me and my husband handing a kleenex that he had ready in his hand.

    That was so unfair and I did Not like it and I just kept saying, not ready for this you guys. I just sat there and bawled, my daughter put the ornament on the top of the tree, where it shines prominently and I can barely look at it because i just cry when I do.

    I can't even type this because all I do is cry when I think about it.
    I don't know what it takes to get past this horrible feeling that has been brought back just as I thought I was past the emotional tears stage.

    That saturation point has been reached where I just wish I could have some alone time. It feels like I haven't had that time since Molly passed to just mourn without people everywhere and someone needing something from me that I no longer feel like I have to give. The unconditional love well feels dry and I know it isn't but it feels that way.

    So now I'm mad. Mad that I haven't had that time to say goodbye to her, that there would never have been enough time anyhow to say goodbye or to mourn her not being here. So mad at feeling lost and that there is nothing I or anyone else can do to make it better.

    I rather wish that we could have skipped christmas this year
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  4. #264
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Georgia
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Even tho I don't have the power to make things better, I want you to know we've got your back, Sharlene. You are 100% entitled to every one of your feelings whether it's being sad or mad or just had-it-up-to-here. We love you inside-out, no matter what.

    When I am feeling crappy, I always hate it when my husband tries to make a practical suggestion because my feeling crappy usually is far more involved than any simple fix. But here I am, going to do the same thing with you.... Would it help at all to take the ornament down and tuck it away for the rest of this year? You can tell your family it is lovely and so thoughtful and someday it will bring you comfort, but your loss is still too fresh to look at those pictures for right now.

    I know the ornament is really a symbol for your whole entire loss, and putting it away won't solve the rest of it. But maybe it would help just a little bit. (And now you can ignore my suggestion just like I'd probably do if it was me, and you can even be annoyed at the suggestion just like I would probably be if it had come to me from my husband ).

    But either way, keep knowing this is your safe place to come and talk, no matter what and no matter how you're feeling, OK?

  5. #265
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    Jun 2012
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    Canada
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Thanks Marianne. I know you guys understand and I sometimes hate to come here to moan and groan when I know that so many of you are going through the same feelings, but then again, that's probably why I do, because you all understand as no one else ever could.

    I can't take it down. My husband is mourning molly too and he stops and looks at the ornament and will just reach out and touch it. Like he is somehow touching molly by doing so and in his heart he probably is. I can't take that way from him, I'd feel like the biggest jerk imaginable to do so. Logically it makes sense to wrap it up and not look at it right now, but emotionally while it hurts to see it, it helps him to have given it to me. I just rather wish he'd done it privately, one on one. They were so proud of doing this for me, that I am just going to have to deal with it. Tree might come down sooner or gads, might not be able to take it down at all. Christmas all year because I can't remove one ornament????????? oh my (okay that made me laugh and groan at the same time) LOL

    We are hoping to be able to get away to somewhere nice and warm, down south of the US in February or March so that will be a life saver I think. To get that time, even though we are currently planning it with some friends, and not by ourselves, if it doesn't work out with the friends, then him and I will go. We just need a break from everything, both of us.

    In January and early February we have the Winter extravaganza parties that you know I love, so that will be a break too. In June we are off to New York City and splurging for our anniversary by staying at the St Regis and I hope to catch up with Barb and Trixie, maybe in Central Park while we are there, but definitely see them. So all things to look forward to in the coming year.

    I've looked at petfinder, but nothing is jumping out at me and that is probably because I'm not ready to open that door to my heart and home just yet and another fur baby. I am happy to just play with my friends dogs and try to keep control over the fighting cats in my own house currently. I wonder if one of those cats isn't going to end up living with us permanently and if so will they be accommodating to a dog when one does come to us. Neither cat has ever cohabited with a dog before.

    All things that I hope will help to put this sorrow aside and yet also give us time to heal.
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  6. #266
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Georgia
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    I can't take it down. My husband is mourning molly too and he stops and looks at the ornament and will just reach out and touch it. Like he is somehow touching molly by doing so and in his heart he probably is.
    OK well that made me cry, too , so obviously just forget my suggestion!

    But PLEASE promise you'll tell us all the details about the parties (like if there's a theme or special clothes involved). Honest to gosh, I live vicariously through your winter parties and I love "us" getting all gussied up for them.

    I do believe we will all of us make it through our sorrow here, no matter how long it may take. No apologies are needed nor accepted for moaning, because that is what gives us all permission to share our hearts here. (And if the kitty who stays with you is the one who is getting pounded on by the other cat, I'll bet a dog sibling may be a very welcome alternative...)

  7. #267
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    Jun 2012
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    The one last year in Ottawa was at the Museum of History and was viking themed and we got a private viewing of the new viking exhibit that went on view there. Very interesting stuff.

    I think the one this year in Ottawa is at a different museum. I haven't heard if there is a theme yet or not.

    However, I am on the planning committee for the one in Toronto this year and I just had an idea I will be proposing to the committee for our party, thank you Marianne, I hadn't even thought of doing a theme here since we have such a smaller group, but now I thought of doing "gangster style", with a dress code of 20's gangster, and a photo booth to take pictures of everyone dressed up, and set it up as a speakeasy club with the famous Toronto rum runners theme. A bottle of rum per table or something. Could be interesting. We're still trying to put ours together so I'll let you know what happens with that.
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  8. #268
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    And an email has been sent to the committee to meet in January to discuss.

    Yes the kitty in question is the one getting the tar beat out of it continuously unless someone is around to run interference.
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  9. #269
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    California
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    4,370

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    I can't imagine why you don't want the bully, Sharlene.

    You have been there for all of us. Moan, groan, whine and cry as much as you need to.

    A similar, blindsighted suprise, happened to me too. I was gifted with a heart picture frame with Buddy smiling at me, at a family gathering. It is magnetic. I totally broke down and wept uncontrollably. Now, over 3 years later, that Picture and the magnetic little frame, has a place of honor on my refrigerator door. I wasn't ready to handle it then, but now Buddy's photo greets me each day with his beautiful smile, when I get up in the morning and head to the refrigerator. The snowflake ornament was a lovely gift and I'm sure you will treasure it when the time is right. Right now it is just too soon. We all understand that. xxxxoooo


    Quote Originally Posted by molly muffin View Post
    Yes the kitty in question is the one getting the tar beat out of it continuously unless someone is around to run interference.

  10. #270
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Georgia
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    14,070

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Awww, both Buddy's heart photo and Molly's snowflake sound beautiful, and yes, hopefully with time the snowflake won't trigger such pain, Sharlene. For us, it was kind of the reverse with Peg's ornament. We made it for her first Christmas when she was only four months old. So it has always been on the tree and it would have felt even worse if it was gone. But it was awfully hard to hang it this year and I feel an ache inside whenever I pass by and look up at it. Bittersweet I guess is really the better description, though, because I am grateful we have it as a reminder of those earlier magical puppy days. I hope that one day you will feel better about Molly's ornament, too.

    Ah well, and as for the speakeasy party theme, I love it!! Just tell us when and where, and we'll all be there.

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