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Thread: Holidays can be hard...

  1. #221
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Mandeville, La
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    129

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    We are here Marianne. Of all the bad feelings that come with this grief, I hope you never feel alone. Not for one second.

  2. #222
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    7,965

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Well, will be strange for us too because not only am I not cooking anything, we are going to Mom's room to eat with her and then out to my brothers.

    So Mariannne, I'll sit next to you for dinner if you sit next to me

    Argh, hubby has me tell mom we were handed lemons so we need to make lemonade. Not sure I feel like drinking lemonade right now

    As hard as it is sometimes, we will be thankful for the memories.

    Is it January yet? It will be light out again at 5pm on January 21st.

    Ok, so I've been thinking of bringing out Zoe's tree for Christmas. I swore I would donate it after she died but hubby said wait.

    He wants to celebrate her life and see the beautiful birds and have it stand tall and beautiful in tribute to her.

    Not sure I can do this, but thought of all the darling fur babies we have lost this year and well, I guess it will stand in tribute to all of them so think that thought is giving me the strength to face Zoe's tree
    love,
    addy, zoe and koko


    My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. ~Edith Wharton

    Memory is the power to gather roses in the winter

  3. #223
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Glen Cove, NY
    Posts
    1,941

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    That sounds like such a beautiful thing to do! Lena loved the holidays..I had almost decided not to make my shortbreads this year because she loved them so much, but maybe I will in her memory. Not sure yet...

    I've been crying all day. I just have not been able to stop. I hope that I will cry enough so that I can get through Thanksgiving without crying at the table. This is so friggin hard...
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Angel Gable, Angel Phoenix, Angel Doree, Cooper, Sibble, and now Raina.

  4. #224
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    16,150

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Thank god we have this holiday place to come to. I've been super teary for the past week. So much is different, so much I wish wasn't different.

    Awww, Susan, it sucks as we get older and lose those who mean so much to us. My dad had alzheimers, it's definitely rough. I lost my mom and my dad within a couple years of each other. The last time they where here was for Thanksgiving and had a lovely time. Then they planned to go to my sisters for Easter in the spring. That didn't happen. My mom passed away unexpectedly and my dad literally went down the road of alzheimers as soon as she passed.


    Thinking of Zoe's tree. Such a lovely thought Addy.

    I think it is the tree that is getting to me. We've talked about when to put ours up and all I can see is that empty sheepskin rug of mollys without her on it. Daniel wouldn't let me wash it after she passed. She loved laying under the Christmas tree on that rug. It was her place.

    I wish all of you happy Thanksgiving. It's nice to have some place to come and share with others who understand.

    So, Group hugs! We're going to need lots of those.
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  5. #225
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    15,292

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Addy, I'm definitely sitting next to you if you'll have me ! And Kat, how's about you on the other side ?

    Thinking this morning about Lena's shortbread and Zoe's beautiful tree of birds and Molly's sheepskin...all such direct connections to your hearts...will it feel better to tuck them away or to bring them out in honor? Maybe impossible to know in advance, and that's the really hard part.

    When it comes to Peg, there are two things that will be very hard. The first is "her" tree ornament. But I will need to put that on the tree no matter how hard it makes me cry. It needs to be there because it's always been there since her first Christmas, and it just needs to be there in her honor. That way, she'll still be with me in spirit.

    The second thing will only be a memory. It sounds very silly but it had been a ritual since her first Christmas when she was just three months old and such a happy puppy. I had a big purple towel that I was using to dry her off after she'd been out in the rain and we were playing a game, "where's the puppy?" where she'd get all tangled up in the towel and then burst out. We had music playing and just then "Away in a Manger" came on, and I smiled and play-acted that Peg was the baby Jesus wrapped in swaddling clothes as I held her close in her purple towel. For ten Christmases after that, no matter that she had grown to 80 pounds, at some point during the holiday I would swaddle my baby Peg and hug her close to me in that royal purple towel. Yesterday I noticed her towel in the linen closet, and I thought, oh what will I do this year? Will I just leave it there, or will I bring it out and set it in a special place where I can touch it if I need to or want to when we play the carols. I don't know yet. I don't know which way my heart will turn. I guess it will just take some time to find out.

  6. #226
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    rural central ARK
    Posts
    14,549

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    You ladies mind if I sit with you?

    Squirt loved Christmas. All the lights and colors and activity thrilled her no end. Not to mention getting to travel and see people she loved so very much, like my brother, Mark. Christmas was always so very special to Gia and me....so many memories. Thanksgiving was always my dad's favorite but it is the hardest for me - Gia left 4 days after Thanksgiving so this once joyous season is now a battle to survive year after year. But like Addy said, we are grateful for the memories, both individually and collectively. I am so grateful to know my girls are together...and I'm grateful to have a place to come talk about them both.

    Thank you for the image of a shared tree, Addy.

    Hugs to all.
    "May you know that absence is full of tender presence and that nothing is ever lost or forgotten." John O'Donahue, "Eternal Echoes"

    Death is not a changing of worlds as most imagine, as much as the walls of this world infinitely expanding.

  7. #227
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    15,292

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Hey Les, of course! Pull up a chair, girl, anywhere you want.

    It's hard enough to get through the holidays when we are missing loved ones, generally. But when a specific holiday is linked so directly to a loss...well, I can't even imagine how much harder that makes things. We are very grateful to have you join our table at a time when it must be so especially hard to venture out at all.

    So sit yourself down, and help us decide what we're gonna eat tomorrow. Shall we potluck it, people? Or should we order in? (you know, you really can't ever go wrong with pizza, even on Thanksgiving...maybe turkey pizza?? ).

  8. #228
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    California
    Posts
    4,435

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    I usually end up at the angry teen table. The table where our young Americans text each other the entire meal about their lame parents who made them come. Bear in mind that they are sitting about 4 inches from each other. They never say a word, just continue to text nasty comments or emoji's. I wanted to get in on the fun last Thanksgiving, so I pulled out my iPhone and texted the angry teen on my right. I received an eye rolling and furious emoji, with a, "Never do that again", comment. I almost fell out of my chair in hysterics. ROFL It is obvious how much my great niece and nephews love me!
    Last edited by Budsters Mom; 11-23-2016 at 03:50 PM.

  9. #229
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    San Diego, Ca
    Posts
    2,133

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Wishing you all the best holiday. It is not about the decorations, perfect dinner. It is a time to be grateful for the small stuff, the people in our lives, the precious memories we have of our fur Angels. All my relatives live in Austria, my brother lives in Ohio. So it is just me Mom and Doug. Instead of focusing on the big family I do not have, I try to be grateful for the family I have. I am grateful for passing Apollo's and Karma's love to our adopted babies Arial and Kristen. They will never replace my Apollo and Karma. But they enrich my life . They have challenges to overcome. I am grateful for all the love and support you all have given me over the years. Andy-Zoe, Sharlene-Molly, Leslie-Squirts mom, Budster's Mom, Dawn -Kiki, too many to list all of you.
    Mom is 85 so I know time is running out and try to embrace the time we have. Love Sonja and Apollo
    Last edited by apollo6; 11-23-2016 at 10:02 PM.

  10. #230
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    6,593

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

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