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Thread: Holidays can be hard...

  1. #211
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    I can't take it down. My husband is mourning molly too and he stops and looks at the ornament and will just reach out and touch it. Like he is somehow touching molly by doing so and in his heart he probably is.
    OK well that made me cry, too , so obviously just forget my suggestion!

    But PLEASE promise you'll tell us all the details about the parties (like if there's a theme or special clothes involved). Honest to gosh, I live vicariously through your winter parties and I love "us" getting all gussied up for them.

    I do believe we will all of us make it through our sorrow here, no matter how long it may take. No apologies are needed nor accepted for moaning, because that is what gives us all permission to share our hearts here. (And if the kitty who stays with you is the one who is getting pounded on by the other cat, I'll bet a dog sibling may be a very welcome alternative...)

  2. #212
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    Jun 2012
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    The one last year in Ottawa was at the Museum of History and was viking themed and we got a private viewing of the new viking exhibit that went on view there. Very interesting stuff.

    I think the one this year in Ottawa is at a different museum. I haven't heard if there is a theme yet or not.

    However, I am on the planning committee for the one in Toronto this year and I just had an idea I will be proposing to the committee for our party, thank you Marianne, I hadn't even thought of doing a theme here since we have such a smaller group, but now I thought of doing "gangster style", with a dress code of 20's gangster, and a photo booth to take pictures of everyone dressed up, and set it up as a speakeasy club with the famous Toronto rum runners theme. A bottle of rum per table or something. Could be interesting. We're still trying to put ours together so I'll let you know what happens with that.
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  3. #213
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    Jun 2012
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    And an email has been sent to the committee to meet in January to discuss.

    Yes the kitty in question is the one getting the tar beat out of it continuously unless someone is around to run interference.
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  4. #214
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    Mar 2013
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    California
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    I can't imagine why you don't want the bully, Sharlene.

    You have been there for all of us. Moan, groan, whine and cry as much as you need to.

    A similar, blindsighted suprise, happened to me too. I was gifted with a heart picture frame with Buddy smiling at me, at a family gathering. It is magnetic. I totally broke down and wept uncontrollably. Now, over 3 years later, that Picture and the magnetic little frame, has a place of honor on my refrigerator door. I wasn't ready to handle it then, but now Buddy's photo greets me each day with his beautiful smile, when I get up in the morning and head to the refrigerator. The snowflake ornament was a lovely gift and I'm sure you will treasure it when the time is right. Right now it is just too soon. We all understand that. xxxxoooo


    Quote Originally Posted by molly muffin View Post
    Yes the kitty in question is the one getting the tar beat out of it continuously unless someone is around to run interference.

  5. #215
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    Georgia
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Awww, both Buddy's heart photo and Molly's snowflake sound beautiful, and yes, hopefully with time the snowflake won't trigger such pain, Sharlene. For us, it was kind of the reverse with Peg's ornament. We made it for her first Christmas when she was only four months old. So it has always been on the tree and it would have felt even worse if it was gone. But it was awfully hard to hang it this year and I feel an ache inside whenever I pass by and look up at it. Bittersweet I guess is really the better description, though, because I am grateful we have it as a reminder of those earlier magical puppy days. I hope that one day you will feel better about Molly's ornament, too.

    Ah well, and as for the speakeasy party theme, I love it!! Just tell us when and where, and we'll all be there.

  6. #216
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
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    Glen Cove, NY
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    That saturation point has been reached where I just wish I could have some alone time. It feels like I haven't had that time since Molly passed to just mourn without people everywhere and someone needing something from me that I no longer feel like I have to give. The unconditional love well feels dry and I know it isn't but it feels that way.

    So now I'm mad. Mad that I haven't had that time to say goodbye to her, that there would never have been enough time anyhow to say goodbye or to mourn her not being here. So mad at feeling lost and that there is nothing I or anyone else can do to make it better.


    Boy, do I know this feeling, Sharlene...it sucks. 2016 is almost over and Lena has been gone 10 months. I'm afraid to move into the next year, I feel like if I accept it being 2017, I am accepting the fact that she is gone and I just don't want to!

    2016 will forever be the year I lost my baby.

    My sister gave me a sign for Christmas with beautiful words about the loss of the dogs in our life...but it's not quite right. It speaks of all the dogs I've lost and not this one of my heart; this one loss that has shattered it and won't mend; this one beloved creature who I miss every single day. I think she was surprised that I didn't break down and cry...its beautiful and true, but not quite right.

    Sometimes a gift means different things to the giver and receiver. They mean well...I would have bawled like you if anyone had given me an ornament with Lena on it. I have the one from when she was a puppy that has been on the tree since her first Christmas, and that's the only one I need for now.
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Doree, Gable, Cooper, Angel Phoenix and now Sibble.

  7. #217
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    2016 will forever be the year I lost my baby.
    Oh Joan, it's so true how some milestones become etched into our minds and our hearts.

    It's now New Year's Eve and I can't help remembering that it was two years ago today that everything shifted for us and for Peg. Right before that, I had been so grateful about how well she was doing -- seizures under control, GI issues under control, enjoying her walks and her daily routine. But hubby and I went out for a cheery holiday lunch that day with plans to cocoon with the doggie girls that evening. When we got back home, Peg was hobbling profoundly. What could have happened during our lunch, we'll never know. But something went very wrong that day and we were never able to fully fix it again.

    And so now in my mind, I guess New Year's Eve will always be linked a bit to that fateful lunch. I'm a little anxious, waiting for another shoe to drop. It's never been my favorite day, anyway. When I was younger, I always wished I had a grand party to attend but seldom did. In recent years, our small gatherings with close friends have also been curbed due to relocations, and illness, and just not wanting to brave the crazies on the road. So it has turned more into a private evening of reflection for me, with tomorrow being the happier day. Once the new year arrives, I close my eyes and cross my fingers and hope for the best! And I try to look forward once again.

    But today I am especially missing my shiny black dog. Just like you say, Joan, very soon we'll be entering a new year without her and that just seems so wrong. Through all her adversity, she was so brave and so true to her own self. She handled her limitations so much better than did I. She was, and always will remain, an inspiration to me. But I do miss her so. I wish so much I could hug her one more time as the calendar page turns.

    I can't do that, but I can send out my hugs to you all. So stay safe guys, enjoy the holiday as best you can, and I wish us all a fresh 2017 with our memories to sustain us and our hopes to guide us, perhaps down new and even unexpectedly happy paths.

  8. #218
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    That anxious feeling...I have it all the time, too Marianne. Last New Year's Eve, my husband and I went out to dinner. We had never done that before. Right up the block, not gone long...but if I had known it was going to be Lena's last New Year's I never would have gone. I would have spent it at home with her.

    New Year's has never been my favorite either...

    Hugs right back at you, Marianne!

    And to all my dear friends on this forum, Happy New Year...let's hope its a good one.
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Doree, Gable, Cooper, Angel Phoenix and now Sibble.

  9. #219
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Life is funny filled with unexpected turns. I was looking for my pearl necklace, we are going out to dinner tonight and I never wear that necklace. I could not find it, who knows where I put it when we packed up our life a second time within a year. Finally, I saw the gold box with my shoes, yes there is the box containing my necklace and there at the bottom of the box was my old journal.

    I wasn't good at keeping a journal. The leather bound book was a Christmas present from a friend. She had made it for me for Christmas 1999. That is the date of the first entry.

    I paged through my writings, musings I guess might be more accurate. I smiled as I read each one until I got to the last entry dated February 23, 2011.

    I wrote
    Zoe/Cushings
    Every book I read, I read for you
    Every battle I fought, I fought for you
    Because I loved you so.

    Your mom

    I wrote that two years prior to her death-almost to the day.

    Her tree is shining not quite as bright tonight and I am choking back tears.

    Suddenly this happy night is sad.

    Wonder why I found that journal now on New Years Eve?

    Well, off I go with my brace face.

    Happy New Year dear family. I know your hearts are heavy tonight as well.

    But together we face 2017 and together we will all be just fine some way some how.
    love,
    addy, zoe and koko


    My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. ~Edith Wharton

    Memory is the power to gather roses in the winter

  10. #220
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    Mar 2013
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    AWWW Addy. I miss her too. I miss all of our babies who have moved on. It's not a particularly happy New Year's Eve for me either. You are absolutely right. We will all get through somehow. I spent several hours out doing errands today. I wasn't home five minutes before being screamed at to go to hell. Happy New Year indeed!

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