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Thread: Holidays can be hard...

  1. #211
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
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    Glen Cove, NY
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    1,629

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Boy, do I know that paranoid feeling, Marianne...anytime any of them are not feeling well, I get very panicky. Poor Luna...she may just miss Peg. Gable hasn't been himself since Lena died...almost the same issues, vomiting and loose stools. Had him checked out and nothing showed on his blood work. I'm going to scan them and post to see if you guys see anything that the vet didn't.

    I hope it is just Luna missing Peg.

    I did the same thing yesterday...took all the Halloween decorations down and started with the Thanksgiving. Another one that Lee loved so much...the turkey cooking (I would move her bed to the kitchen doorway so she could guard the turkey while it cooked in the oven); then when my husband took it out she would park herself under the butcher block just waiting until he started carving and would give them pieces. One year she ate so much turkey, she slept through dessert, which she just loved!

    But it will be Sibbie's first and we are going to have 14 for dinner and I will smile, converse and make believe that I am not thinking that last year was Lena's last Thanksgiving, and this is my first without her...it's going to be tough.
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Doree, Gable, Cooper, Angel Phoenix and now Sibble.

  2. #212
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    16,135

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Big hugs Marianne and Joan and all the others who are missing their babies this holiday season.
    It isn't easy, these first, and I don't think the seconds are very easy either truth be told.
    Sharlene and the late great diva - Molly muffin (always missed and never forgotten)

  3. #213
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Washington
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    1,062

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Oh, Marianne. I'm sorry to hear that Luna has not been feeling well. Definitely sounds like you had a crappy morning. Big hugs.

    Aw Joan, poor Gable. I'm glad his bloodwork looks okay, but I bet you're frustrated at not having an answer for what's wrong.

    Holiday firsts, indeed. I offered to host for my family this year, though I haven't had any confirmations back from my 3 brothers. Only mom and dad, so far. It will be a first for two of them without their doggies too... at least, I expect so. My youngest brother's pom, Bailey, has been gone for months now. My other brother's pit Aiden (aka Boo) hasn't been well for quite a while but last I heard, he wasn't yet willing to let him go. And of course, my baby, Visuddha.

    We had intended to take down the Halloween decorations this weekend. My husband got most of them, but not all, and none of them are put away yet. Maybe this next weekend.

  4. #214
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
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    Frigid Milwaukee-brrrrr
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    7,955

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    A www Marianne, those were lighter days indeed and I remember them well and am so thankful to have those memories. I'm hoping Luna will be feeling better soon. Our work pup Lucy went through a bad spell after we lost Rocky. She now has a puppy named Bob she plays nanny too and is feeling better though I think she gets fed up with his pestering

    I was thinking back to those early days remembering how you all helped me figure out how to get mom home after she fell and broke her pelvis. Talk about a group effort to move mountains to have her sit next to me at the table.

    Thanksgiving marked the beginning of the end for Zoe and as we approach it again it looks like it might be the same for mom as we discuss hospice care for her.

    So this year all those dearly loved traditions will be set aside as our families lives adjust to the new traditions. Gosh it is hard to give up those traditions up but the realization and thankfulness that I was able to give them to all ou family is something I hold dear and I think lay the framework for future traditions. I know not all will embrace them but I do know my Kate holds them close to her heart.

    And that is a great gift. Those traditions are the fabric of my being and though they change they don't change who we are but reinforce us, strengthen us.

    So we will all hold each other's virtual hand as we find our way through the holidays and I know we will all be just fine because we have each other
    love,
    addy, zoe and koko


    My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. ~Edith Wharton

    Memory is the power to gather roses in the winter

  5. #215
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    rural central ARK
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    14,132

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    This is the hardest part of any year for me but this year is especially hard because of a number. 10. Nov. 30th will be ten years since Gia died. 10. How does a mother live 10 years longer than her child? How does that happen?

    I look at my grandsons and am so very grateful they are here. In their eyes I see her, in their laughter I hear her, and in seeing and hearing my heart both glows and shatters over and over and over. So many things I feel a great pressure to be sure they hear, hopefully understand and believe, but at least hear about their mom who loved them both so dearly. The best gift I think I can give Gia now is to do my utmost to make sure her boys are friends as well as brothers so that as they grow and age they know they always have each other. Ten years. One is driving now, the other not far behind. Ten years. Have I done enough for them, for her? No, not near enough.

    I miss her so. No words can express my longing to see her again, to hold her again, to hear her voice and see her eyes dance again. I could always pick Squirt up and talk with her about her Sissy but no one here now knew Gia. So I sift through memories and longings alone since my Sweet Bebe had to leave, adding those memories of her to those from Gia. My greatest comfort is knowing Gia and Squirt are together again.

    I miss my girls so very very much.
    "May you know that absence is full of tender presence and that nothing is ever lost or forgotten." John O'Donahue, "Eternal Echoes"

    Death is not a changing of worlds as most imagine, as much as the walls of this world infinitely expanding.

  6. #216
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Glen Cove, NY
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    1,629

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    I can't imagine 10 years without either of my children. My daughter faces that reality every day with my oldest grandson, Josh, who has Chronic Granulomatous Disease. The only cure is a bone marrow transplant which we are desperately trying to avoid because it is not fool-proof. He's only 8, but has lived much longer than we thought he would when we received his diagnosis when he was just 2 weeks old.

    As sad as I am about Lena not being here this year, I don't want it to ruin Josh's Thanksgiving because we never know what next year will be like...and he loves Thanksgiving just like his grandpa does. He loves the traditions and the crowd of family. He always wants the turkey leg even though he never really eats it! Halloween is his all time favorite, though...my little ghoul.

    My heart goes out to you, Leslie...holidays can be really hard.
    Joan, mom to my Angel Lena, Doree, Gable, Cooper, Angel Phoenix and now Sibble.

  7. #217
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Delaware
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    1,916

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Hi to all!
    I just figured out why I'm off balance having now read today's posts. Palmer has been on my mind a lot. And Bailey is about to turn 6. So Palmer has been gone quite awhile now.
    Bob and I are a very small family. Ryan and Ellen will go to Colorado for Thanksgiving this year. They will be here for Christmas. It just finally hit me how it's going to be the first Thanksgiving with Ryan not here. I mean, I've known-after all I did make the reservations for us to go out to dinner. Oh that sounds depressing. But it's just the two (three-Bailey) of us now. We aren't going to go through all that work to cook a turkey just for the two of us. We will cook one at Christmas, I hope. Sometimes Bob makes prime rib standing roast at Christmas.

    I am so sorry all of you are suffering your loses.The holidays used to be my favorite time of year. It's not that way much now. Bailey has no idea of how doggies are supposed to act with wrapping paper, etc. She is so unusual from our other dogs. She doesn't especially like being stroked behind her ears. She has allergies, so she always wants a back scratch. She hears the end of a roll of toilet paper coming and I toss her the cardboard core. She dashes away like mad and drops it after going 20 feet. And that's the end of it. Chasing ball for her means I throw it, she goes to retrieve it (really happy) and then she brings it "around" me. She won't give it to me to throw again unless I grab it.

    My Mom died 30 years ago. My Dad died two years later.....and that was the end of all the grandparents. Bob's parents died within the two years between my folks passing. I didn't really get to see up close what this getting older business means. Yet I learned this past year, that my maid of honor is now in a nursing facility. She has early onset Alzheimer's and one of the first things to go was her speech and her eyesight. Except for the Alzheimers she is pretty healthy....so it's a matter of time. It has already been six years. It was only upon learning about this that I learned that ending our friendship about 5 years ago was due to her trying to hide her illness. We'd been friends since 1963. Tragic.

    Boy-I came in here with the intentions of trying to add compassion to all the losses I read about today. I'm sorry for dumping. It sure doesn't feel like the holidays are coming.

    -Susan
    "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
    -C. S. Lewis

  8. #218
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Georgia
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    14,136

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Aww Susan, no need at all for an apology. This is exactly why the door to our holiday house is open each year, so we have a place where we can be real with each other. In all the other houses, we have to put on smiles, or cook, or chat, or entertain, or be social, or act happy happy happy. But we don't do that here. We don't pretend things are fine when they're not. It's wonderful when we do have sweet things to share, but we hug each other when we don't.

    I am always so grateful for you all, but never more so than this year since I am struggling, too. Thanks so much to Addy for what she has written because it lifts me up whenever I think about it. Thanks so much to you all for sharing what's truly in your heart.

    So we will all hold each other's virtual hand as we find our way through the holidays and I know we will all be just fine because we have each other.

  9. #219
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Delaware
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    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Thank you, Marianne.
    "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
    -C. S. Lewis

  10. #220
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    14,136

    Default Re: Holidays can be hard...

    Thanksgiving week is here. Some things are the same, but much is also very different. A very important someone is missing, and that changes so much for me. But I am very thankful for all my friends here, and I'll be thinking of you all with gratitude as this week unfolds for our families.

    Marianne

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