Holidays can be hard...

[Budsters Mom]

Major holiday depression again this year. Holidays are never easy for me, but Buddy somehow made them bearable and sometimes even okay. Without him here, they suck!

OMG! I'm the grinch!

[labblab]

No Kathy, Cushing's is the grinch!

But I'll bet pansywag's Pansy Lou Who is flicking her paw at the grinch at this very moment, and leading Buddy and Barkis and Zoe and everybody else in a merry chase at the Bridge.

[Squirt's Mom]

I've tried to post here for some time and end up leaving. Everything is so raw for me. It's almost like the first holiday season after Gia died all over again. She is gone, my dad is gone, a dear friend is gone, too many babies have had to leave this year, my mom is gone, and now Squirt is gone. I am really struggling this year.

Last year anticipatory grief kept me from doing anything that wasn't mandated. I didn't decorate, cook, go anywhere other than my brother's...and if it hadn't been for my grandson, I wouldn't have gone to their house. This year, Squirt wants the house decorated again- she missed it last year and I didn't realize until it was too late so she asked that I do it this year....and I am. With tears, sobs, and shaking hands, I am. I keep turning around expecting to see her sitting behind me, eyes shining, face grinning, waiting for the packages she can check out.

In the process of decorating I am also pulling out Christmas things to pass on to my nieces that I had put back for Gia. I have already started passing on other things to them that were to have been Gia's - jewelry for the most part so far. But I have china, crystal, linens, etc. that were to be hers that I am getting ready to give the girls. They are moving to So. Carolina soon and will be setting up their own apt. Seeing those dishes so loving handed down in my family that should have graced Gia's Christmas dinners rips me wide open. I know the girls will treasure these things and honor the memories they carry....but they were supposed to be Gia's. Every time I pass something to one of the girls, it's like losing another little piece of her.

[labblab]

Oh Leslie, tears are falling here right alongside yours.

Will you be able to put up your Glass Tree this year, or will that feel too hard? Your story about your tree earlier on this thread touched me as deeply as any Christmas story I have ever been told. I will carry that story along with me for the rest of my own life, too, and I will think of it and you and Gia with every special glass ornament I ever see.

For Gia. Always in loving memory of your precious baby girl.

[addy]

Dearest Leslie- I don't even know what to say to try to comfort you,just BIG HUGS and lots of love and understanding being sent your way.

Squirt sent you a message that she wants Christmas, then go for it!
I wish Zoe would speak to me but she has remained silent.

Marianne- Christmas is wherever family is. The year hubby bought all of Zoe's birds was a new tradition for us and we had so much fun that year, even with Zoe so sick, it helped us cope.


Kathy- wouldn't it be nice if we could take the puppies and go away for Christmas? I so wanted to do that this year. Now with hubby's procedure right before Christmas and Mom having problems, it is not going to happen for sure now. I have even been measuring Koko and researching flight bags for him. I think he may be a few pounds to heavy for one bag I found. I am still keeping the faith though that one day Koko and I will fly away.

Hugs to you all.

[labblab]

Awww Addy, I'll be watching for the day when Koko's thread title changes to "Traveling Dog Around the World." Just keep right on searching for that perfect travel bag!!!

[Budsters Mom]

Take me with you Addy!I have the perfect size bag for Koko Puff.

[labblab]

Hey Addy, I loved reading just now about your blue outdoor reindeer. They sound so pretty and fun!

Just wanted to add that if you happen to go off on a tangent and decide you do want a decorated "thing" indoors (a new tree or even something else like a domesticated reindeer ), you can keep from having to block off Koko by putting the something inside a pen rather than vice versa. Barkis never, ever bothered anything on our tree. But the girls will be all over it in a second. So at Christmas-time, we set up their wire fence around the tree with them on the outside looking in. Everybody always gets a kick out of the fact our Christmas tree is inside a dog-pen...but it works!

[Budsters Mom]

Yes, barricading the tree works well. I did it last year to keep monkey girl away. Buddy never bothered with it. He had too much else to do. I haven't penned it this year, yet. Rosie has been stalking it though, so we'll see how it goes. I can't trust the monkey.

I did not feel like dealing with the tree either Addy. We did cuz my folks like it. They are both in their 80's and declining fast, so who knows how many more Christmases we'll have together.

[labblab]

It's a bright sunny day with a warm southern breeze for a change. I have so much I should be doing and could be doing on such a pretty day. Just feeling down in the dumps, though, and missing my human friends that have been lost to me this year. I think it was the Christmas card list. Seeing their names on the list, but nothing to be done for them this year. I do not want to cross them out. But there is no little check mark to be made, either. Extra cards left over with no destination. I miss my friends so much.