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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Georgia
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    Default Holidays are hard...

    These last few weeks have been so tough for our family here. And the holidays are especially hard, no matter whether the loss was yesterday or ten years ago. So I thought I'd start a thread where people can check in, if they want. It'll be here all through the holidays. And if anybody has a special memory to share, we will love to hear about it. And if anybody is having an especially hard day, we'll be here to listen and join in a group hug. Because that's what we do. We laugh and cry together. And that's the way we continue to honor our loved ones, all through the holidays.

    Marianne

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    1,420

    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Marianne,
    What a wonderful honor in memory of all our beloved who have gone before us (humans and 2 legged), they are gone but NEVER ever forgotten. Thank you. Tight hugs and I am wishing you, the babies and my very special family here a blessed and healthy Thanksgiving. Xo Jeanette and Princess

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    So true...hard to fathom that my little friend won't be around barking for her share of turkey this year It does break my heart.

    Eh, but rather than dwell on the sadness, I'll share a funny holiday story about my last Aussie, Dolly. Around the holidays, us Italians make a special dessert pie with a sweet crust, ricotta cheese and cooked grain called "pastiera". Usually it's an Easter dish, but sometimes we'll make it for X-mas as well.

    So, I was baking several of these pies and putting them on the back porch to cool (an enclosed, but separate porch attached to the house). My mom and I were wondering where the dog was, since we had not seen her for some time. Well, we are looking all over the darn house and calling her name. Looking in the front yard (thinking maybe we left her outside?), etc. etc. Darling Dolly is nowhere to be found! Suddenly, we hear a bark and realize it is coming from the back porch...we then open the door to find our sweetie out there halfway through her second pie....LOL! Somehow, she snuck out there when I was placing the pies and we shut the door behind her. What else is an Aussie to do when she is faced with freshly prepared, warm pies? After the initial shock, we had a very good laugh! And, I had to make a few more pies! I always remember that story fondly, as does my Mom.

    Jeff & Angel Mandy

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Thanks Marianne,

    This will be our first Christmas without Brown.

    She always loved Christmas, especially Christmas morning when we opened gifts. We get lots of gifts and wrap them with lots of care. There is always ribbon and paper and the floor becomes covered.

    She also loved the tree and would sling ornaments from it with her tail.

    Moria would always play in the wrappings and we have many memories of her on Christmas morning.


    Scott

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Ah... my first Christmas without my sweet Haley. She knew how to open presents and did it with gusto. The memories... Here's a funny one... I wrapped a bunch of presents and without thinking I placed the package with Ghiradelli chocolates under the tree. I did put them WAY underneath and you'd have to move lots of big presents to get to them... you can see where this is going...

    So I left and when I came home there was Xmas wrapping paper in the middle of the living room floor, a bit of tinfoil and just a couple chocolate bars left...OOPS. Luckily she was fine and never even got sick.

    I hope there is chocolate for dogs in heaven. Still love you dear Haley.

  6. #6
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    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Hi everyone....

    Although I am not here as much as I used to be, I still do look in...and although I am now blessed with a new family, I am sorely missing my old. I couldn't not stop by and post something about my two boys. Although it is my second Thanksgiving without my mom and dad and Scoobie, it is my first without my sweet Bailey. And although it wasn't Thanksgiving, he is remembered for stealing the corned beef on St. Patrick's day, which I simply rinsed off and served!! And we ate it...if it was good enough for Bailey....

    Bailey never missed a meal. And as my father-in-law says, these dogs can't be too stupid bc they have never missed a meal here...

    Missing you, my sweet Bad Boys, every day in every way, always will...and I am sending you sweet kisses and gentle hugs and know that Grandma and Grandpa are giving you turkey and gravy and all the things you love so much...

    Hugs to all my friends here and much love....Beth
    Basset hounds are like potato chips, you can't have just one!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Holidays can be really hard, especially first holidays after a significant loss. I actually reached out to my doctor for some chemical intervention last year, because I did not think I would make it through the first holidays with any sanity w/o Niko. This year is a little easier so far, but their presence is always missed.

    People put so much pressure on themselves to continue to function, when they are grieving. We forget to be gentle with ourselves and lower our expectations. Schedule some down time... as we cannot carry the burdens we once did, when we are so full of grief. There is no shame in that... we are human an hurting. Not everyone will understand this, but some of us do.

    Really good thread Marianne. Thank you....
    Bettina & Angel Niko
    1992-2009
    ----------
    http://rememberingniko.wordpress.com

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Thanks for all who have shared and thank you for this "category."

    It has been almost 4 months since Palmer crossed over. I thought I was doing "pretty well." Thanksgiving dinnertime came and we sat down in the "formal" dining room to enjoy our meal. (We have a small table which the two of us dine at most of the time.) It suddenly hit me that Palmer was missing. Whenever we sat in the dining room (3 or 4 times a year), Palmer would sit underneath the table. I'd never see him go there, but if I looked for him and looked under the tablecloth, I always saw him sitting at attention! He never begged for anything. He would sit there ready to taste any morsel. Once I finished eating, I would pick him up, to table height, and sit him on my lap. He loved being one of the "adults." On rare occasion he would sit at my side, looking forlorn, like-"Hey! You know I'm here!!.) He never spoke and had the patience of a saint. Well, Thursday I silently cried through most of the dinner. There is still such a hole left now that he is gone.

    I dread thinking of Christmas morning,. He LOVED unwrapping presents. He loved the crinkle of the paper. He could always somehow find the gifts that were for him. And when he had had enough excitement, he would stretch out, between my legs, on the recliner and stay there as long as I would. If I had to let him down in order to stretch my legs, he always understood. He was ready at any minute to come back up.

    We think we have a puppy in the making. There is a mama with four little pups "in the oven." If all goes well, at the end of January we will be taking quite a road trip/vacation and then be bringing home our newest family member. It's wonderful to think about the little guy or gal bouncing around as puppies do. (It's not wonderful to think about going through house training!)

    Still I sometimes carry his collar in my pocket. Still I have on our bed the stuffed, squeaky duck that is every bit as big as he was....with the stiff area on the hip, where he sucked on it like Linus's blanket.

    I love him so and so would like to have him back-but healthy, of course. His "ending" was so sudden. I just wasn't prepared. Perhaps one never is.

    This is a wonderful forum and full of such loving people. I hope you'll share my new puppy adventure with me. I am so NOT meant to not have a dog.

    Happy holidays everyone. May all of you, especially those of you with the still raw wounds, remember the good times. They are looking out over us.
    -Susan

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Quote Originally Posted by Palmer's Mom View Post

    It has been almost 4 months since Palmer crossed over. I thought I was doing "pretty well." Thanksgiving dinnertime came and we sat down in the "formal" dining room to enjoy our meal. (We have a small table which the two of us dine at most of the time.) It suddenly hit me that Palmer was missing. Whenever we sat in the dining room (3 or 4 times a year), Palmer would sit underneath the table. I'd never see him go there, but if I looked for him and looked under the tablecloth, I always saw him sitting at attention! He never begged for anything. He would sit there ready to taste any morsel. Once I finished eating, I would pick him up, to table height, and sit him on my lap. He loved being one of the "adults." On rare occasion he would sit at my side, looking forlorn, like-"Hey! You know I'm here!!.) He never spoke and had the patience of a saint. Well, Thursday I silently cried through most of the dinner. There is still such a hole left now that he is gone.

    I dread thinking of Christmas morning,. He LOVED unwrapping presents. He loved the crinkle of the paper. He could always somehow find the gifts that were for him. And when he had had enough excitement, he would stretch out, between my legs, on the recliner and stay there as long as I would. If I had to let him down in order to stretch my legs, he always understood. He was ready at any minute to come back up.

    We think we have a puppy in the making. There is a mama with four little pups "in the oven." If all goes well, at the end of January we will be taking quite a road trip/vacation and then be bringing home our newest family member. It's wonderful to think about the little guy or gal bouncing around as puppies do. (It's not wonderful to think about going through house training!)

    Still I sometimes carry his collar in my pocket. Still I have on our bed the stuffed, squeaky duck that is every bit as big as he was....with the stiff area on the hip, where he sucked on it like Linus's blanket.

    I love him so and so would like to have him back-but healthy, of course. His "ending" was so sudden. I just wasn't prepared. Perhaps one never is.

    This is a wonderful forum and full of such loving people. I hope you'll share my new puppy adventure with me. I am so NOT meant to not have a dog.

    Happy holidays everyone. May all of you, especially those of you with the still raw wounds, remember the good times. They are looking out over us.
    -Susan
    It's always hard the first few months after they've passed; I agree. You think you are doing OK, and then suddenly, something just reminds you that they are no longer there and it slams you in the face. Part of me wishes I could be like others who can brush it off and say "it's just a dog", but then what would be the point, eh?

    I made Mandy a little memorial in my bedroom; her cherry wood urn is there with the lovely picture of her sitting in the grass inserted in the front of it--she was 12 yrs old then. Atop the urn is her puppy picture so I can remember her both at the beginning and later in her life. Alongside, I put 2 of her favorite toys and her collar. Every morning I talk to her a bit before I head out for the day. Am I a sentimental sap or what? I don't know...I think I've been closer to my dogs than I have with a lot of people.

    And, every Christmas, I still remember my other Aussie, Dolly...my little X-Mas girl. What a doll she was! I somehow lost her collar when she made her last emergency visit to the vet and I was devastated by that...I don't know why, it just was another loss on top of losing her and bothered me terribly. So, when Mandy passed, one of my first questions was "Do you have her collar?"....I was so relieved to get it back. And no, you are never "ready" regardless of the circumstances; there is never enough time.

    Eh, us dog lovers are an oddball bunch! I am happy to hear that you'll be getting a new pup early next year Susan. Please do share the good news and lots of pictures with us! They ARE wonderful fun when they are puppies, even with the housebreaking headaches! LOL!

    Jeff & Angel Mandy

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Squirt was supposed to be Gia's baby. Gia was dating the son of the woman who owned the bitch. Both of Squirt's parents are show dogs - the male a Cairn Terrier, the female a Long Haired Chihuahua. The owners of the parents were LIVID about this litter and the plan was to drown all five puppies. But Lance talked his mom into letting him find homes for them instead. Since Gia was his girl-friend, she got the pick of the litter and she chose Squirt. When the puppies were 5 weeks old, Lance's mom said they had to go NOW; one way or the other the sickening evidence of this horrible mistake would be removed from her sight that day. So, at 5 weeks of age, the puppies were pulled from their mom and delivered to those who wanted them.

    When Squirt was brought to us, Gia was gone to the Gulf with friends for a few weeks and by the time she got home, it was much, much to late - Squirt was my baby through and through, and Gia became her Sissy. Squirt had the best of all worlds - a mom who loved her to distraction and a sissy who spoiled her rotten. Squirt was never alone the first few years of her life. If she wasn't with me, she was with Gia. Until Squirt got too big, Gia and I typically wore clothes with large pockets into which we would put our Sweet Bebe so she could go too. I got caught more than once in WalMart when her little head would poke out of the pocket or bib of my Big Smith overalls! Gia took her to a movie one time in her Big Smiths and got caught half-way through the movie when Squirt decided to talk to the characters on the screen! LOL Gia adamantly insisted Squirt had every right to be with her in that theatre and if Squirt couldn't go in then she wanted her money back. Which she got- then was politely escorted to her car, money, dog and all!

    Squirt's first Christmas was HUGE at our house. I always went over-board with gifts for Gia at Christmas so she felt Squirt deserved the same. Every shopping trip I would hear something like this, "But, Mom, this would look so cute on Squirt!" or "Oh, Mama, look at this! Squirt would love this, don't you think?" So we would come home with half our packages holding toys and goodies for Squirt. She had as many gifts under the tree as Gia did!

    The contents of the boxes didn't interest Squirt as she had no idea there was more to them than the bows and bright papers. But, man, did she love the boxes! She just knew this was a grand new game we had come up with just for her. They were there for her to take flying leaps into, bounce around on, push across the floor with her nose, then snarl and growl while tugging on the larger ones she couldn't shove. I would walk by her bed 10x a day to find bows carefully removed from presents and placed there in a pile. There was lots of re-bowing, re-taping, and re-arranging that Christmas! But for some reason, Squirt never bothered the tree or the ornaments.

    This was when we learned about Squirt's strong mothering instinct. Among her presents were several toys with squeakers in them. The first time she heard a squeak, her little ears perked up and her eyes got this very intense look in them. Squirt came up to the toy that had squeaked, nosed it around, licked it for a second, then very gently picked it up like a bitch would a puppy and laid it in her bed where she nosed and licked some more. She treated every squeaky toy in this manner while the quiet ones were subject to much chewing, tossing, and tugging. We could take all the squeaky toys out of her bed, place them through the house, and she would take each one back to bed after carefully checking them out. It was so precious to watch! Those were her babies and they stayed looking as new as the day she got them for years.

    As she has aged, she has lost interest in toys, bows and packages but she still catches the Christmas fever and just has to walk through the boxes under the tree. A more stately walk to be sure, but in my heart I believe she remembers.

    I know she remembers her Sissy because if she hears that word, she perks up and starts looking for her. They were sisters in the purest sense. One day, Gia, Squirt and I, along with all those we love and have lost will gather once again around the Tree that shines with light for all time.

    One day, we will all be reunited with our loved ones, wrapped forever in a loving Light that will never dim. I believe when that time comes, we will all look back on our earthly days here with complete understanding of the tragedies we have each faced, we will have full knowledge of the things we cannot comprehend now, and the joys and love we have experienced here will grow to fill our beings to bursting, leaving no room for anything else.

    Hugs,
    Leslie
    "May you know that absence is full of tender presence and that nothing is ever lost or forgotten." John O'Donahue, "Eternal Echoes"

    Death is not a changing of worlds as most imagine, as much as the walls of this world infinitely expanding.

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