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Thread: Holidays can be hard...

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default Holidays are hard...

    These last few weeks have been so tough for our family here. And the holidays are especially hard, no matter whether the loss was yesterday or ten years ago. So I thought I'd start a thread where people can check in, if they want. It'll be here all through the holidays. And if anybody has a special memory to share, we will love to hear about it. And if anybody is having an especially hard day, we'll be here to listen and join in a group hug. Because that's what we do. We laugh and cry together. And that's the way we continue to honor our loved ones, all through the holidays.

    Marianne

  2. #2
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    Oct 2009
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Marianne,
    What a wonderful honor in memory of all our beloved who have gone before us (humans and 2 legged), they are gone but NEVER ever forgotten. Thank you. Tight hugs and I am wishing you, the babies and my very special family here a blessed and healthy Thanksgiving. Xo Jeanette and Princess

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    So true...hard to fathom that my little friend won't be around barking for her share of turkey this year It does break my heart.

    Eh, but rather than dwell on the sadness, I'll share a funny holiday story about my last Aussie, Dolly. Around the holidays, us Italians make a special dessert pie with a sweet crust, ricotta cheese and cooked grain called "pastiera". Usually it's an Easter dish, but sometimes we'll make it for X-mas as well.

    So, I was baking several of these pies and putting them on the back porch to cool (an enclosed, but separate porch attached to the house). My mom and I were wondering where the dog was, since we had not seen her for some time. Well, we are looking all over the darn house and calling her name. Looking in the front yard (thinking maybe we left her outside?), etc. etc. Darling Dolly is nowhere to be found! Suddenly, we hear a bark and realize it is coming from the back porch...we then open the door to find our sweetie out there halfway through her second pie....LOL! Somehow, she snuck out there when I was placing the pies and we shut the door behind her. What else is an Aussie to do when she is faced with freshly prepared, warm pies? After the initial shock, we had a very good laugh! And, I had to make a few more pies! I always remember that story fondly, as does my Mom.

    Jeff & Angel Mandy

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Thanks Marianne,

    This will be our first Christmas without Brown.

    She always loved Christmas, especially Christmas morning when we opened gifts. We get lots of gifts and wrap them with lots of care. There is always ribbon and paper and the floor becomes covered.

    She also loved the tree and would sling ornaments from it with her tail.

    Moria would always play in the wrappings and we have many memories of her on Christmas morning.


    Scott

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Ah... my first Christmas without my sweet Haley. She knew how to open presents and did it with gusto. The memories... Here's a funny one... I wrapped a bunch of presents and without thinking I placed the package with Ghiradelli chocolates under the tree. I did put them WAY underneath and you'd have to move lots of big presents to get to them... you can see where this is going...

    So I left and when I came home there was Xmas wrapping paper in the middle of the living room floor, a bit of tinfoil and just a couple chocolate bars left...OOPS. Luckily she was fine and never even got sick.

    I hope there is chocolate for dogs in heaven. Still love you dear Haley.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Hi everyone....

    Although I am not here as much as I used to be, I still do look in...and although I am now blessed with a new family, I am sorely missing my old. I couldn't not stop by and post something about my two boys. Although it is my second Thanksgiving without my mom and dad and Scoobie, it is my first without my sweet Bailey. And although it wasn't Thanksgiving, he is remembered for stealing the corned beef on St. Patrick's day, which I simply rinsed off and served!! And we ate it...if it was good enough for Bailey....

    Bailey never missed a meal. And as my father-in-law says, these dogs can't be too stupid bc they have never missed a meal here...

    Missing you, my sweet Bad Boys, every day in every way, always will...and I am sending you sweet kisses and gentle hugs and know that Grandma and Grandpa are giving you turkey and gravy and all the things you love so much...

    Hugs to all my friends here and much love....Beth
    Basset hounds are like potato chips, you can't have just one!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Thanksgiving 2006 is a memory I hold very dear. Our family gathered here at my brother's, Mark, house to celebrate. It was the first time we had shared this holiday at my brothers and the first time my mom had ever been in their house (she was a strange bird, too! ), and the first time our family had not gathered at our parents home for Thanksgiving. Mom had finally reached the stage where that was just too much for her to deal with.

    Carolyn, my sister-in-law cooked her sweet potato pie which we always fight over; Mark smoked a turkey and a ham that melted in the mouth; my other brother, Cliff, and his wife, Leslie, contributed corn casserole and green bean casserole; my daughter made a tossed salad and baklava; and I made pies, bread and cranberry sauce. The kids had chicken nuggets and corn dogs as requested. The table was laden with delicious food and surrounded by a family gathered in love for each other. We bowed our heads and offered our Thanks for all we had been given, then chowed down!

    After the meal and clean-up, the men settled in front of the TV to watch football, the women settled around the kitchen table to visit, and the kids went outside to play. As the day progressed, the groups would change as one left the game to go outside and another left the kitchen to check on the kids. From time to time you would hear a "WHOOP" or a "CRAP" from those watching the game, a fussing or crying child, and giggling from the kitchen as the women told tales.

    In time, most of us were outside with the kids, enjoying the weather and free entertainment provided by a bunch of free-wheeling kiddos ranging in age from 2 to 52. Tristan, my oldest grandson, had one of those electric jeeps that the little ones took turns riding in. Quentin, the youngest grandson, took his turn and the look on his face remains fresh and clear in my mind to this day. He was enthralled! He was driving! Around and around and around in a circle, but he was driving! And grinning from ear to ear! That baby was in hog heaven! When it came time for someone else to get a turn, Que wasn't too keen on sharing but he did, then chased the jeep while others drove it around the place, laughing his heart out! Then the four-wheeler got into the mix and everyone either got a turn driving it around the pasture or being taken on a hair-raising ride behind a more experienced driver.

    The horse was saddled that evening and everyone who wanted got a ride on Dynamite, including Que, but he liked the jeep MUCH better! After the little ones who wanted to ride had gotten to, Mark decided he would take Dynamite out for a good run. Dynamite had other ideas, tho, and was finished with his part of this celebration so when Mark got seated, Dynamite promptly unseated him! Of course, we all ran to Mark to make sure he was alright and Mark was getting up off the ground telling Dynamite things I won't repeat here. Meanwhile, Dynamite is proudly walks back to the barn.

    I was living in TN then so my daughter, Regia, and I didn't get to spend as much time together as we were used to so we stayed pretty close to each other all day long. We laughed at the boys and their shenanigans, talked about her marriage, her friends, her well-being, all the things that had been going on in her life we had missed sharing when they happened. We talked about the changes in our lives, our hopes and our dreams for all the tomorrows we were sure we had.

    Gia looked happier and more beautiful on that Thanksgiving Day in 2006 than I had seen in years. She was full of joy, content with the life she was living, making plans for the years ahead for her and her family. My daughter had not had an easy life; she had fought many, many demons and defeated most of them. She was becoming a complete person, no longer driven by monsters she couldn't control. She had become a wonderful mother, grand-daughter, wife, friend and daughter. Her full potential was finally within her grasp, and her potential was immense.

    At 3:17am, four days later I got the call that my beautiful baby girl was gone, her life snuffed out much too soon.

    Today, I hold very tightly to the images of her on the four-wheeler riding behind my niece with her head thrown back and her hair streaming out behind her, laughing her head off; of her hugging Que and telling him he was her Little Angel; of her telling Tris what a strong little man he was; of her eyes shining with love; of her smile so full of joy; of her laughing out loud over and over during the day. But most of all, I still feel her in my arms as we hugged good-bye that evening and I still hear her voice saying, "I love you, Mama."

    I will never know why I was chosen to be blessed with such a wonderful, strong, totally amazing daughter or why she was taken so young, but for the 29 years we were allowed to share, I will forever be grateful. Gia taught me how to face the worst life can throw at you and keep on trucking; how to laugh through the tears when you want to die; how to look for the good in every situation; and how to just simply love for love's sake. She is the greatest gift my life has ever received and I will be forever thankful for every second.

    *******************************************
    Some of you already knew about Gia; some didn't. To all of you I want to say a huge "thanks". You cannot know the times, the many many times, I come here with so much pain I can barely breath. And you are here. You are here with your own pain, your own joys, your own stories of love and hope. You give me strength to fight, you ease my pain so I can breath more easily, you give me hope for tomorrow, you give me purpose, you teach me. I love each of you for this and am ever so thankful for you all.

    Thanks for listening...
    Hugs,
    Leslie
    "May you know that absence is full of tender presence and that nothing is ever lost or forgotten." John O'Donahue, "Eternal Echoes"

    Death is not a changing of worlds as most imagine, as much as the walls of this world infinitely expanding.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Oh Leslie, what a story....life really does bring us all such challenges to face, doesn't it? And maybe we wind up stronger in the end? I've wondered that many times...my Dad died when I was very young (8yrs old) in 1976...I've wondered what my life would've been like if he lived. But, on the other hand, his passing had a tremendous effect on my life and made me very focused in terms of succeeding in school, professionally,etc. It also led my Mom to finally break down and get her kid a 'lil dog...she wanted a Pom...there were none. The Yorkie was too expensive...so, we wound up w/a little red Australian Terrier...and named her Beauty...the start of my "love affair" with Australian terriers.

    Today was a very tough day for me; the first holiday w/out your furry friend always is, that I know. Mandy always enjoyed Thanksgiving, between the stuff falling on the floor (yum!), the smell of the food and getting her portion of turkey and sweet potatoes

    My 2nd Aussie, Dolly, was a Christmas Girl. She came home on Dec 20th, 1985...I can remember that day quite well. She was fascinated by the Christmas tree...so much so that she continually knocked the glass, ball-shaped ornaments off the tree! One morning we got up and the first 2 rows of the balls were on the floor...LOL!...we loved that dog dearly.

    As time passes, I will remember the funny, good times w/my Mandy and the hurt I'm feeling now will fade...but it's gonna take some time..


    Jeff & Angel Mandy

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Thanks Marianne for starting this thread

    I have shared with the members and friends of this forum the many ups and downs, shared in the sadness, the laughter, and the many successes, I've shed many a tear over our little four legged friends that have gone to the bridge. Every one of them seems to take a piece of my heart with them.

    I miss all my fur butts, Chainsaw lived to almost 19 years old and was very special to me, we would go to Jack in the Box and she learned that when I talked into the speaker...food would arrive at the window. One day I pulled up to the speaker and she decided to place her own order....she started grumbling, not barking but grumbling to the speaker and sure enough food would show up at the window.

    Bailee was a special foster that found his forever home before I ever got him home from the rescue....He was a biter so I felt there would be no better place for him than in my home. He was an older Lhasa and we decided his retirement home was right here with us. He was special in his own way and knew how to make me laugh.

    Roxee was my cush pup and was my heart girl...she and Bailee tolerated each other and when there paths crossed, they learned to take the long way around so they wouldn't come to close to each other. She was very special, all I had to do was say "I need kiss" and she would come running and jump up and lick my face. Even in the end when she was blind and deaf, she somehow always knew when I walked into the house and would bark until I picked her up.

    I miss all my babies and often think about the adventures and happy times we have shared.

    We still have Rozee (Roxee's litter-mate sister) and she is learning to walk again....When I look at her I still see the 2 of them romping around and just being the best of friends. Mickee was another foster and is getting older and I am coming to the realization that his time may be months and not years but he still enjoys life. Then there is our LittleBit who has just been a blessing in our home...she makes me laugh, she loves to cuddle and she has become Rozee's best friend sharing beds and blankets and sometimes even the food dish. and Rozee let's her That's love!

    The pain of losing my loved ones is immense but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. To know unconditional love and trust is what makes life worth living. My heart hurts for all of us here that have lost a loved one.

    (((HUGS)))
    John (Roxee & Rozee's Dad)

  10. #10
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Holidays are hard...

    Holidays can be really hard, especially first holidays after a significant loss. I actually reached out to my doctor for some chemical intervention last year, because I did not think I would make it through the first holidays with any sanity w/o Niko. This year is a little easier so far, but their presence is always missed.

    People put so much pressure on themselves to continue to function, when they are grieving. We forget to be gentle with ourselves and lower our expectations. Schedule some down time... as we cannot carry the burdens we once did, when we are so full of grief. There is no shame in that... we are human an hurting. Not everyone will understand this, but some of us do.

    Really good thread Marianne. Thank you....
    Bettina & Angel Niko
    1992-2009
    ----------
    http://rememberingniko.wordpress.com

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