Holidays can be hard...

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Marianne,

Hoping you have the tinkling of bells and the remembered warmth of your dad's arms this Season; wishing you a glimpse, from the corner of your eye, of him with Barkis and all those you love on the other side surrounding your tree, beaming their love to your heart and soothing your spirit as only they can.

Hugs,
Leslie

[jrepac]

The years pass all too quickly.....I'd like to roll back the clock to when my Mom was healthy and my Dolly dog was running around the X-Mas tree knocking down all the ornaments

But, we do the best we can do under the current circumstances and remember those happier times.


Jeff & Angel Mandy

[mytil]

Christmas is always tough for us. We lost our dear Clancy xmas eve - he passed away in my arms. How he used to love to open his presents and root through his stocking....I still miss those days and him and Mytilda.

[Bailey's Mom]

Hi-
I learned this evening that the pups in the oven numbered only three, as it turns out. I'm fourth in line. The kennel is checking with Numbers 1, 2 & 3 to see if they are ready to go through with their adoptions.

We went to Florida last week for our winter "shot" of warm air. Yeah right. Where we were, all the places had up all their outside decorations. It was so pretty. Most were the LED lights which add punch to the display. I got back home and there are very few lights up so far. What a difference. At least I got to see holiday decorations in Florida.

When we ate out the last day, I had ordered a salad with chicken. It was so huge that I could not finish it. We were asked if we wanted to box it up and I caught myself about to say-yes....just the chicken.....for my doggie at home. I would have frozen the chicken overnight and it would have traveled okay.

Then I turned the computer on.......and there was Palmer. It was like seeing an old friend after a while apart. I was not aware while gone how much I was missing him, but soon as we got back into the house, it hit me.

I miss that I have to pass by the stores.....not buy any new toys or treats.

I am meant to have a dog. I am not whole without a dog. I hope this doesn't take a long,long time.

Check out this video....while it is about a kitten, it will not only make you smile, it will make you laugh out loud! You'll have to cut and paste.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bmhjf0rKe8

-Susan

[labblab]

Oh Susan, the video is SOOO cute. Both Jim and I love cats, and we would have both cats 'n dogs if we could. But he is horribly allergic and we have to love cats from afar these days (so the video was perfect ).

I'm so sorry that it looks as though you may have to wait a little longer for your puppy. Once you make the decision to expand the family, it's so hard to wait !! I'll be hoping for some good luck, though. We were so lucky the way things finally turned out for us after Barkis died. At first we said we were going to wait several months -- through the winter -- before getting another little one. Then we decided it couldn't hurt to go and meet with the breeder we had contacted (she maintains bloodlines that have produced service dogs, and we were hoping for a pup with that type of disposition). So we headed off one Saturday, and spent an hour in her "puppy pen," rolling around with her newest litter, all of whom were spoken for. One little girl in particular -- black with a little tiny white patch on her chest-- caught our hearts. She kept undoing Jim's shoelaces (yeah, we had forgotten it was dumb to wear laced shoes around a bunch of Lab puppies ), and then fell asleep curled up against his leg. It was hard to leave that afternoon, but we were promised a little black girl out of the next litter (Barkis, my avatar, was our sweet yellow boy and we decided we wanted a black girl so as to start "fresh" with a new little spirit and make no comparisons). And I rationalized, it'll be better to wait, anyway. It'll be better to give us more time to get ready. We'll have more freedom through the holidays.

So we went back home with hope in our hearts once again. It had been my best afternoon since losing Barkis. We went about our business, and we had the projected "birthing week" circled on our calendar. But when that week came, the news was sad. Most of the pups were boys, and most of the girls were yellow. There was no little girl for us. I cried and cried. All of the pain returned in full force.

And then, the NEXT week, the breeder called back. She knew the timing might not be good for us, because it was the middle of November and right before the holidays. But it seemed that one of the prospective adoptive families for the first litter of pups had to back out. The pup they had chosen was a black girl with a little bit of white on her chest. She was more than ready to go to her forever home, and might we be interested in coming back to see her? I couldn't believe my ears!!!! We felt certain she was the little girl who had warmed our hearts in the puppy pen. So of course the answer was "YES" -- sight unseen . That Saturday, we raced to the breeder and Peg came racing out of the house to greet us. It makes me cry (happy tears) right now to remember. Because as I've told so many people since then, that was the first day since losing Barkis that I did not cry at least a few sad tears. I did't miss him any less. But here was a new little ball of energy and fur who demanded my attention and deserved my love. It was a very hectic but very joyful first Christmas with our new baby .

Susan, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you in hopes that things will end up working out just as they are meant to. The puppy that you will receive will be the puppy that you are meant to have and love. And we'll be so excited for you when that day comes, as it will!

Marianne

[addy]

For me it is anticipatory grief once again rearing it's ugly head. I see how fragile Zoe has become and I keep thinking 'what if". What if it is our last Christmas together? This is only our fourth together. Our time together seems so short. I found pictures of her laying underneath the tree among the presents her first Christmas Eve in her forever home. I could not stop crying because of the "what if". I cried all weekend while out looking for a tree. I wanted a beautiful tree because of "what if".

Today is the last day of my prednisone and I can finally cut back on my inhaled steroid. I am hoping that will help get my emotions in check. I become a basket case on those drugs as I cannot sleep.

Still looking for my strength. It has been hard to find the last few weeks. Outside forces like work, weather, family issues have all added additional stress.

I am thinking of making a batch of Sangria

Zonked out Addy

[Bailey's Mom]

Addy-
I think I understand how you feel. I feel similarly knowing Palmer won't be part of the Christmas morning fun. Perhaps you can look at this from another point........best make the most out of each day now. Right now I'd change the decision I made at the vet-she offered for us to go back home with Palmer and come back at the end of the day. She was trying not to face this, as well! I said-"What will that get us?" I could see us just sitting around watching Palmer's every breath all the while knowing 5 o'clock was coming. I know we made the right decision.....it's just that old nagging - I would give anything for five more minutes with Palmer.

None of us knows how long we or our furry friends has. Accidents can happen at any time. Thinking of the possibilities and not enjoying the moment might be something you'd rather you'd done differently. I said to Palmer...."I'm not ready yet." He knew how I felt. We're never "ready" and it is never easy, but oh the joy and limitless love they give us-unconditional.

I'll be thinking of you.

-Susan

[Bailey's Mom]

Marianne-thank you for sharing. Your story is amazing. Like I said, I know this will work out the way it is supposed to.....I just don't wait very well, as you mentioned yourself.
I'm glad you enjoyed the video...it almost makes me want a kitty........but they grow into cats...usually pretty independent things. I do love kitties, however.

I've no news so far today. I'm trying very hard not to pester them(!) I can't imagine someone changing their mind. This mommy and daddy are sooooooooooo cute. Their offspring have to be spectacular.

Was/is Peg the name of that fortunate little pup? We saw a dog last week that was very cute (aren't they all soon after you lose one?) and I asked about him. His name is Leroy. What a hoot! I've never heard that one before. Leroy was a little thing and shy.....shook a little bit. Didn't quite live up to his name of Bad, bad Leroy Brown!

I'll let you know once I hear and what the options will be.

I'm having foot surgery tomorrow. I had it in January and it was a total disaster. I am hoping to get things (literally) straightened out this time. Different doc. And we still need to do the other foot. 10:15-I'll be going under........wish me good luck. I'm a little apprehensive.

-Susan

[jrepac]

great kitty video and a very good thread...thanks Marianne and Susan!

Hope your foot surgery goes well!

Yes, we need to enjoy every minute and moment we have w/our little friends as it is fleeting. I've been feeling that a lot lately....thinking about missed opportunities. No matter how many years we have them for, it is never, ever enough. It is still the little things that get to me...unfinished dog biscuits, for instance. I still can't bring myself to go thru her things...like coats, sweaters and toys. Just too upsetting right now.

I was out this weekend, actively "browsing" the pups...but could not bring myself to make a choice just yet....maybe I'm not really ready. Was thinking about a cute little chihuahua I saw...incredibly sweet, but I've always been a terrier person. I just got an email from a breeder who had a new litter of Aussies a few weeks ago. They have a blue/tan girl who is totally cute...I may have to put a deposit on her....gotta give this some thought. She is the only girl in the litter....could it be fate? see her pix below

http://www.puppyfind.com/view_listin...Dnew%26back%3D

I am sure I will know when I am ready....my Mandy will send me a message, I suspect!

Jeff & Angel Mandy

[Bailey's Mom]

Jeff-what a CUTIE!! If you don't take her, I will!
Palmer passed on on 8/5 and it took until about one month ago before I could really think about the next fur baby. Grieving is different for everyone. There is no "wrong" way, nor is there a time when you "should be over it." I think you will know when you're ready and when it's the right one for you.
Don't you think it would be fun to have a puppy on Christmas morning?!!!
-Susan