Re: Holidays are hard...
Thanksgiving 2006 is a memory I hold very dear. Our family gathered here at my brother's, Mark, house to celebrate. It was the first time we had shared this holiday at my brothers and the first time my mom had ever been in their house (she was a strange bird, too! 
), and the first time our family had not gathered at our parents home for Thanksgiving. Mom had finally reached the stage where that was just too much for her to deal with.
Carolyn, my sister-in-law cooked her sweet potato pie which we always fight over; Mark smoked a turkey and a ham that melted in the mouth; my other brother, Cliff, and his wife, Leslie, contributed corn casserole and green bean casserole; my daughter made a tossed salad and baklava; and I made pies, bread and cranberry sauce. The kids had chicken nuggets and corn dogs as requested. The table was laden with delicious food and surrounded by a family gathered in love for each other. We bowed our heads and offered our Thanks for all we had been given, then chowed down!
After the meal and clean-up, the men settled in front of the TV to watch football, the women settled around the kitchen table to visit, and the kids went outside to play. As the day progressed, the groups would change as one left the game to go outside and another left the kitchen to check on the kids. From time to time you would hear a "WHOOP" or a "CRAP" from those watching the game, a fussing or crying child, and giggling from the kitchen as the women told tales.
In time, most of us were outside with the kids, enjoying the weather and free entertainment provided by a bunch of free-wheeling kiddos ranging in age from 2 to 52. Tristan, my oldest grandson, had one of those electric jeeps that the little ones took turns riding in. Quentin, the youngest grandson, took his turn and the look on his face remains fresh and clear in my mind to this day. He was enthralled! He was driving! Around and around and around in a circle, but he was driving! And grinning from ear to ear! That baby was in hog heaven! 
When it came time for someone else to get a turn, Que wasn't too keen on sharing but he did, then chased the jeep while others drove it around the place, laughing his heart out! Then the four-wheeler got into the mix and everyone either got a turn driving it around the pasture or being taken on a hair-raising ride behind a more experienced driver.
The horse was saddled that evening and everyone who wanted got a ride on Dynamite, including Que, but he liked the jeep MUCH better! After the little ones who wanted to ride had gotten to, Mark decided he would take Dynamite out for a good run. Dynamite had other ideas, tho, and was finished with his part of this celebration so when Mark got seated, Dynamite promptly unseated him! Of course, we all ran to Mark to make sure he was alright and Mark was getting up off the ground telling Dynamite things I won't repeat here. Meanwhile, Dynamite is proudly walks back to the barn. 
I was living in TN then so my daughter, Regia, and I didn't get to spend as much time together as we were used to so we stayed pretty close to each other all day long. We laughed at the boys and their shenanigans, talked about her marriage, her friends, her well-being, all the things that had been going on in her life we had missed sharing when they happened. We talked about the changes in our lives, our hopes and our dreams for all the tomorrows we were sure we had.
Gia looked happier and more beautiful on that Thanksgiving Day in 2006 than I had seen in years. She was full of joy, content with the life she was living, making plans for the years ahead for her and her family. My daughter had not had an easy life; she had fought many, many demons and defeated most of them. She was becoming a complete person, no longer driven by monsters she couldn't control. She had become a wonderful mother, grand-daughter, wife, friend and daughter. Her full potential was finally within her grasp, and her potential was immense.
At 3:17am, four days later I got the call that my beautiful baby girl was gone, her life snuffed out much too soon.
Today, I hold very tightly to the images of her on the four-wheeler riding behind my niece with her head thrown back and her hair streaming out behind her, laughing her head off; of her hugging Que and telling him he was her Little Angel; of her telling Tris what a strong little man he was; of her eyes shining with love; of her smile so full of joy; of her laughing out loud over and over during the day. But most of all, I still feel her in my arms as we hugged good-bye that evening and I still hear her voice saying, "I love you, Mama."
I will never know why I was chosen to be blessed with such a wonderful, strong, totally amazing daughter or why she was taken so young, but for the 29 years we were allowed to share, I will forever be grateful. Gia taught me how to face the worst life can throw at you and keep on trucking; how to laugh through the tears when you want to die; how to look for the good in every situation; and how to just simply love for love's sake. She is the greatest gift my life has ever received and I will be forever thankful for every second.
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Some of you already knew about Gia; some didn't. To all of you I want to say a huge "thanks". You cannot know the times, the many many times, I come here with so much pain I can barely breath. And you are here. You are here with your own pain, your own joys, your own stories of love and hope. You give me strength to fight, you ease my pain so I can breath more easily, you give me hope for tomorrow, you give me purpose, you teach me. I love each of you for this and am ever so thankful for you all.
Thanks for listening...
Hugs,
Leslie
"May you know that absence is full of tender presence and that nothing is ever lost or forgotten." John O'Donahue, "Eternal Echoes"
Death is not a changing of worlds as most imagine, as much as the walls of this world infinitely expanding.
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It does break my heart.
Somehow, she snuck out there when I was placing the pies and we shut the door behind her. What else is an Aussie to do when she is faced with freshly prepared, warm pies? After the initial shock, we had a very good laugh! And, I had to make a few more pies! I always remember that story fondly, as does my Mom. 
and Rozee let's her
