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Thread: Dear God: It's me, the Dog

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    San Diego, Ca
    Posts
    2,133

    Default Dear God: It's me, the Dog

    Dear God: It's me, the Dog

    Dear God: Is it on purpose that our
    Names are spelled the same, only in reverse?



    Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,
    But seldom, if ever, smell one another?



    Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit
    On your couch? Or will it be the same old story?



    Dear God: Why are there cars named after
    The jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
    The colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
    Named for a Dog? How often do you
    See a cougar riding around? We love a nice car
    Ride! Would it be so hard to rename
    The 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?



    Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off
    In the forest and no human hears him,
    Is he still a bad Dog?



    Dear God: We Dogs can understand human
    Verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
    Horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
    Electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
    Flight paths. What do humans understand?



    Dear God: More meatballs,
    Less spaghetti, please.




    Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
    If there are, will I have to apologize?



    Dear God: Here is a list of
    Just some of the things I must remember
    To be a good Dog:
    1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats
    It or after he throws it up.
    2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
    Crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
    3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
    4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
    5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
    6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
    Underwear when he's on the toilet.
    7. Sticking my nose into someone's
    Crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
    8. I don't need to suddenly stand
    Straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
    9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
    Entering the house - not after.
    10. I will not come in from outside,
    And immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
    11. I will not sit in the middle of the living
    Room, and lick my crotch.
    12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',
    So when I play with him and he makes that noise,
    it's usually not a good thing.



    P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven,
    May I have my testicles back?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    222

    Default Re: Dear God: It's me, the Dog

    That's a very funny PS

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    7,965

    Default Re: Dear God: It's me, the Dog

    Oh Sonja,

    This was just great to read!!!! I loved them all

    Hugs,
    Addy

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