We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in fire glow?
And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.
And only I can see you swim
in every brook I pass
and when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.
Author Unknown
When we got Palmer, we were at the beach but still living in Northern VA. Our son did not come down with us that weekend but bid us farewell saying "Don't let the fact that I'm not there with you stop you from getting a puppy." It was Palmer's face that caught my heart; those deep brown eyes. We chose Palmer from three of one litter. He had "that" look in his eyes. He had soul. When we got to the house, Ryan came out to meet his new "brother." I set Palmer down on the sidewalk to the house. He was all coal black then....actually brindle-he had some gorgeous brown hair mixed in with the black. He walked to the edge of the sidewalk and stepped onto the grass. As his little paws touched the grass, he immediately raised them. He had never been on grass before. It fascinated him.
Palmer always had this way of sashaying about. His tail was up and curled around. He walked with pride. Sometimes he had a look of mischief. When he was younger, Palmer had a little trick. Bob would get in to take a shower and leave his slip-on slippers outside the door. Palmer would sneak in and grab one slipper and madly dash out. I'd hear Bob say "Palmer has my slipper!" He never chewed the slippers, he just kind of gummed them. He liked the game. And socks! Palmer would almost take a sock off your foot. If he got a hold of a sock, he would madly run around. And you could not ever catch Palmer. If you stopped, he would stop and gnaw on the sock. If you moved toward him, he was off and running.
One Christmas we set up a mini-train on our dining table. The table is round and the train track just fit around the edges. It is glass topped. When we ran the train, Palmer ran around the table trying to catch it, barking at it all the way. And of course, he loved unwrapping his presents. The paper was always better than whatever was inside. He loved the sound of paper ripping. Any time one of us had a present to open, we'd let Palmer do the unwrapping. It kind of made it into two presents.
He was such a sweetheart. We were so lucky.
Palmer never liked chasing a ball and bringing it back to have it thrown again. You could throw it, or a toy, and he'd dash off madly after it. When he returned with the prize, he would not come to you. He wasn't going to give that toy back to you if you were just going to throw it away. He was kind of an independent little guy. He would get a toy out of the basket, go over to an area of the room that had lots of space and he would throw the toy up into the air. He was pretty good at that. Once I found a toy on the top of the kitchen counter. If I tossed it up in the air, it did not get much of a response. But he would toss it up quite a few times and then he would stretch out with the toy in his mouth. He was quite content to lay their like that for quite some time.
Oh, how I miss him.
One day I was pulling weeds out of the garden and came upon a worm. Worms are good-they aerate the earth. Well, I pointed this worm out to Palmer. When he finally zoned in on the wiggly little creature, he tried to get the worm to play. It really blew his mind when the worm went into the earth. He could not figure out where it had gone. He had so much fun and he looked so funny with dirt on his nose!
You’d have thought he had an eyesight problem.....if you gave him a little cookie, he would paw at it....but he never quite hit it. He just kind of stuck his paw out several times and pull at the treat. Eventually he'd hit the treat and, of course, it would pop up off the floor. I never got why he pawed so "off the mark." I know his eyesight was outstanding because of the things I would see and watch him discover.
Around age five he had to have both his knees operated on. His knee caps kept popping out and caused him great pain. The doc went in and made the ridge where it should sit a bit deeper. He was fine after he healed. But bringing this little guy home from that....he had to have one of those plastic cones around his head to keep him from bugging the stitches. He did not like that AT ALL. We would carry him wherever he needed to go-to another piece of furniture or outside to do his business. Since both knees were done, he had no way to squat and not have great pain. In very short order, he taught himself to stand on his front legs only and take care of business. It was amazing. He was such a smart dog.
At bedtime, when the lights went out, he'd snuggle up against me or Bob. He'd stay there until he got cold and then he'd move up between the pillows. Next change would be to go completely under the sheets. He'd stay there until daylight. If it got too hot under there, he'd come back out.....and start the process all over again. One morning, I was awake but my eyes were still closed and all of a sudden I got this big kiss!! I opened my eyes and there was his little head resting on the corner of my pillow....looking so loving, with his deep brown eyes.
Because of his presence on the bed since forever, I guess, going to bed has always been kind of special. He knew when I came in that I would bring a little treat. He'd patiently wait for me to get settled and then I'd feed it to him in tiny pieces....because that way he would chew it. If you gave him larger pieces he swallowed them after only one or two chews. When we got through with the treat, he'd turn around and put his back against mine. For some reason, Palmer always wanted to have his back to you. No matter where he settled down, I'd be looking at his back. I'd like to say he was guarding me, but I know that was not the reason. I don't know the reason, but I often thanked him for sharing his butt with me!!
The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak, and pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done, for this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand, but don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest, your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years, you wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend, only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me, until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree, it is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved, from pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you, who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years, don't let your heart hold any tears.
-- Unknown
God bless you Palmer. There never was a finer, more loving dog. I will always love you dearly. I will see you again.
Love, Your Mom