My Bestest Boy

[marie adams]

Oh Marianne,

It is a beautiful tribute--with tears in my eyes as I type this. I have used the word "bestest" for decades and it truly describes our loved ones furred or not!!!

Best to you always!!!

[zoesmom]

Marianne,

I really thought I could read Barkis' tribute this time without crying. How wrong I was.
Luv & Hugs ~ Mary Ann

I thought I could, too. But no, not possible. I'm still trying to work up the strength to write something for my Zo in this section. But I can't do that yet, either. Memories still 'dog' me at every turn, as I'm sure they do for you with Barkis. Wish I could have known him. But I do know that he was one special "bestest" boy. Sue

[forscooter]

I'm sorry I missed this Marianne....sending you lots of hugs and love...Barkis' sweet face was one of the first I saw many years ago, and even though he was gone, his happy face somehow made me feel better...his legacy lives on still...
(((((((hugs)))))))))
Beth

[bkdice]

Marianne,

It's so touching to me that your heart is still filled with such love and memories of the boy you loved so dear, 6 years later. It's also comforting to know that time cannot take such love and memories away.

I know my reply is late, but wishing you peace and bended grass during this time.

[Tobias]

Hi Marianne: I am just spending some time on the site today , reading tributes. Everything is in slow motion--I am having a "reverie" day of remembering my Zorro (finally I have a place in my heart to put the memories where they are safe) and reading other tributes on the site. Honestly, the image of you walking around the lake with a collar in your pocket just brought me to tears. But they are healing tears, and I thank you. Toby, my Cushings boy, is gradually being increased to reach the lower target post stim value as recommended by Dechra and also this helpful site. Many blessings to you; how perfectly you captured the experience of grieving an animal. Linda

[SavingSimon]

Dear Marianne,
I am still crying from reading your beautiful words, and feeling the love and the pain with you. Thank you for sharing the blessings that came from the loss as well. It is so hard for me to function, much less write when I have lost a dog, (as someone who does rescue I have lost far too many) but I hope that I have the courage and strength when my "bestest boy" is gone to write something worthy of him, as you have done more than three times. One thing that this board, that I often fear to visit, and yet leave feeling much different, uplifted by the support of the group, and often uplifted the most by the person who has suffered the loss - one thing that it does for me is encourage me to make more and better special memories in this time that Simon and I, and the rest of my pack are blessed with. Thank you so much for posting this.
Love and hugs,
Dena, Simon, and pack

[labblab]

Another August is here. On the morning of the 10th, it will have been nine years since we released our bestest boy. I am grateful that after all these years, when I think of Barkis now, most always it is with a smile and a sweet memory. Except when the first of August rolls around, and I'm transported back to that final week.

The light in the sky is the same, and the late summer heat and humidity is the same. And I remember those last days of car rides and faltering steps. And it is hard all over again.

So many members of our family are grieving right now, and are haunted with the "if onlys..." This is the week when the "if onlys" return for me, too, and I realize they will never go away entirely. That is the price paid for my human imperfection and loving another creature so dearly. If only I could do things over, I would do them differently this time. But we do the best that we can, don't we? I did the best that I could for my bestest boy. But I know that I made mistakes and the memories of that week will always hurt.

But I would never trade the pain for not loving Barkie at all. And so when his spirit moves me, I'll grab his collar again this year and go for our annual walk around the lake. And I'll keep repeating my little mantra that was one of the few things that kept me sane nine years ago: "We loved him dearly, he had a wonderful life, we didn't let him suffer." And then in my mind's eye where the past and the present merge, I know we'll be joined together once again and I will dry my tears and smile. Because that's the way my sweet, proud boy deserves to be remembered -- always with a smile.

Marianne ~ Forever Barkis' Mom

[Trixie]

That was beautiful Marianne. I have a lump in my throat.

Barbara

[frijole]

I shouldn't have read this at work. Sending you lots of love today dear Marianne. Re the mistakes - we all made them and look back and wonder... but we all did what we felt was right based on what we knew at the time. You can't do any better than that. I love the annual walk tribute. That is cool. No doubt you were/are the bestest mom ever. Kim

[Squirt's Mom]

I've no doubt Barkis is remembering as well. His memories are those of the love he saw shining from your eyes every time you looked at him; the gentleness in your voice even when he had misbehaved; the tenderness in your hands when you rubbed his head and soothed his fears; the tears that fell on his head, bathing him in your essence, reaffirming the eternal connection. He will be prancing by your side as you walk the lake, waiting for that smile through the tears.

Hugs,
Leslie