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My Beautiful Buddy Boy
My Beautiful Buddy Boy,
You brought light where there was darkness.
Joy where there was sorrow.
Companionship where there was loneliness.
Smiles where there were frowns.
You taught me how to love unconditionally by example.
You were such a large presence in such a little body.
A soul wiser than all.
Accepting of all.
Giving to all.
Loving all and expecting nothing in return.
You left me much too soon. I had many more lessons to learn and you taught them so well.
Thank you for loving me so much and for taking such great care of me every day. I am the person I am today because of you, my precious boy.
Hunt free little man. Be happy and do not worry about me. We will be reunited when the time is right. Until then, greet the newcomers with the same love and tenderness that you gave me so freely.
Love you always my Mighty lizard Hunter.
Mom
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
How beautifully written for such a beautiful soul. I do believe that they will be there waiting for us when they know that we have been called but until then I know Buddy, Bo, and all the countless other fur angels are out and about just enjoying themselves and finding all the best places to show us when we all meet again.
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
What a wonderful tribute from a great mom. No doubt your little hunter is looking down with a feisty smile on his face. Hugs, Kim
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
from the soul. A beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul.
Hugs Sonja and Angel Apollo
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Oh Kathy, that is beautiful.
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Kathy,
He is a beautiful boy. And we will be reunited with our little loves one day.
Love and prayers,
Donna
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
My brother gave me a plastic exercise pen with eight panels. It has since been broken up into three pieces, due to the fact that they had a St. Bernard. One of the pieces barricades a troublesome door. The second piece barricades my bed so Rosie can't jump up on the high bed. The largest piece encloses the front porch perfectly. Rosie is now able to sit out there and watch the world.
This bring me to Buddy. He was no longer able to jump up on the cedar chest to look out the window for guard duty. I put a ramp up for him. That only worked for a while until his rear leg weakness made that impossible. He then moved to the security front doors. They were only available when the weather was such that we could have the other doors open. The rest of the time he couldn't look out at all, which I knew was very upsetting to him. He would have loved to sit out on the porch and guard his family. He didn't get that option.:o
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Buddy guarded the most important person in his life, every single day and that is you. I am sure he would have loved to have been sitting out there, although probably to check for lizards. :) Have no doubt though, he was happy to just be with you.
I think there are now and will be in the future, many such bittersweet moments. He was after all your mighty lizard hunter. We are always grateful that you found our site and that you shared Your Buddy with us. He made such an impression with his spirit, even when the disease was taking it's toll.
I always prefer to think that they watch over us still, and who knows Buddy might be sitting on that porch with Rosie, watching for lizards and anything interesting, egging her on when she is scampering a round.
hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
I read a post today about a dog who follows his mom everywhere. She said that he would even follow her to his death.:o It made me cry because that is exactly what I did with Buddy. He was always completely trusting of everyone, even the vets who did nasty, painful things to him. So sad. :o:(
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Kathy you can't think like that. You made the decision for Buddy because of his quality of life and you put his needs above your own, please don't think like this.
You gave him the best life and you let him go before he suffered too much from it. I struggled so much to make the decision and it hurts my heart to know how far treatments have come since I lost Tia but we did the right thing by our babies with the options we had
Sending you the tightest biggest hug Kathy
Mel
Xxxxxxx
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
The faith they place in us does feel like an awesome responsibilty, doesn't it...:o
Perhaps another way to look at it, though, is that Buddy was spared the human fear and dread of that which is to come. When they proceed so willingly, surely it must be because they are not afraid? And so we are the ones who carry that burden on their behalf. That is our sacrifice because we love them so. I don't believe Barkis was afraid that day, nor was Buddy. They trusted us to do what we thought best for them. And so we did, Kathy. So we did.
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
If course you are both right ladies, but I still feel really sad. :o:( I took my loving and trusting little heart dog and ended his life. My head tells me that I did the right thing for Buddy, but my heart is not so sure. :o:(
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Kathy, it wasn't just your head that was telling you to set Buddy free of his pain. Your heart was probably speaking louder than your head was that day. The decisions we make for our babies are not sterile, based only on common sense. Our decisions come from our heart, which is where we hold this amazing love and compassion for our pups, and sometimes we don't even know how deep that love is until we are confronted with having to make one of the most awful decisions of our life. It's normal to second guess yourself but I know that in time, you will be able to look back on that day and know in that big heart of yours, that you made the right decision for your beloved Buddy.
Hugs,
Glynda
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Awww Kathy, I have just tried writing this note to you about 3 times and can't quite get it right, but this made me feel sad you felt like that. They do follow us anywhere and we are the lucky ones they have such love for us to do that. You did the right thing, regardless of what your heart or head was telling you then or even now. You had a choice and you chose to put your Buddy to rest in comfort while he waits for you to meet him at the bridge. I am so sorry I made you feel bad xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
You didn't make me feel bad Trish. When I read you post on Flynn's thread you were just voicing your concern and feelings at the time. Yes, they will happily follow us anywhere and everywhere, even to their own own deaths. This forum is a safe place to voice those concerns and to find people who understand. It isn't your fault that my mind went elsewhere with your comment because that is exactly what I did. I lead Buddy to his demise and he went happily. Happily to follow me anywhere just to be with me. This is not your problem Trish. It is mine. The grief if losing Buddy comes in waves. This is just another one. xxxxxx
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Kathy, I really don't think that there is anyone who has had to do what you did, who doesn't at some point or many points, end up revisiting it and wondering and feeling guilt over it.
I always said that Tasha would let me know when she was ready. In a way she did but the way she didn't is that I always said, but Tasha is still happy, she wags her tail if you even look at her, she loves people and wants to be right there in your lap, even when she could barely stand to have her skin touched, but she was happy. Still I made that decision, because her eyes said, it hurts to stand up, it hurts to lay dow. She couldn't stand to walk outside and would pee everywhere. (quite a bit for a golden) And still her tail would wag and she would crawl into my lap, all 60lbs of her. But I did make that decision. She loved to go the vets, thought it was a real joy to be there and was never scared. She went in happily to her own demise, tail wagging, and head rubs by all and I held her head and looked into her eyes until she was no longer there in her body. Sorry, that is as much as I can actually say right now as the tears stream down my face.
Kathy, there are many who have felt what you feel now and will in the future. It is normal and you are not alone. I don't want you to think of it as a problem, it is just what it is, a terrible time came in your and Buddy's life, and you had to make the decision. If not then, maybe later. Those last few weeks though, took a terrible toll on you and on Buddy and it wasn't easy. There were very good reasons that you made the decision when you did.
Super big hugs!
Sharlene
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Yes and more super big hugs from me too... you are such a lovely person Kathy and have been such a support to me, I am very honoured to have your friendship :) I hope these waves of emotion will go from the crashing of big rollers on the shore to a more gentle ebbing as time goes by, your Buddy is still bringing us all joy as we remember his fun ways and thinking of him always brings a smile to my face xxxxxx
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
AWWWW Trish, we've been through much together and I am honored to call you my friend also. :p You and Flynny will always have a special place in my heart. :p
AWWW Sharlene, it took a lot to share Tasha's story with me. Thank you. You don't have to say anymore, because I know how it went. I stayed with Buddy also until he was no longer there and told him to go get the lizards. I then was left alone with him on that cold, exam table to say goodbye. Leaving him there was heartbreaking. I couldn't even go home afterwards because my folks had begged me not to take him and I couldn't face them. I sat and cried my heart out in my car for hours, then walked the mall, before eventually going home. So yes, I can imagine how your story ended.
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Christmas is actually going to arrive without you here.:o How is that possible? Love you and miss you tons. xxxxx
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
And we will get through it together Kathy xxxxxxxxxx :)
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
MERRY CHRISTMAS BUDDY BOY!! I miss you sooooo much! :o
I posted a Christmas photo of a happier Christmas, as his new Avatar for the month.
I still don't understand how this happened. You were perfectly fine for so many years except for allergies, until you weren't. Now you're gone and I can't bring you back. I feel so sad.:o:( I hope there are lizards running everywhere and you're eating all the good stuff now. There are no allergies in doggie heaven, so pig out!
Until we me again, be happy!
Mom
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
It's going to be very hard to spend that first Christmas without them isn't it,
{{{{ Hugs }}}} for you too Kathy
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Buddy looks so adorable in his Christmas picture...sending huge and loving hugs to you, dear Kathy.
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
I LOVE Buddy's Christmas pic!! A star is so fitting for him, as that is what he is to all of us on this group!! Shine down on us all Buddy Boy :D xxx
ps I am going to follow your lead and put up a Christmas pic of Flynny, can't do any fancy stars though!! :D
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
HUGS Kathy
A perfect christmas pictures of the mighty lizard hunter.
hugs,
Sharlene and molly muffin
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Love Buddy's picture.
The holidays are tough without them.
Hugs
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Hey Smiley,
It's Christmas Eve and I've already has a good cry this morning. I have been pretty sick for a while now. You are usually right by my side until I start to feel better. It's weird that your not.
I know that you could care less about dressing up in all the silly Christmas outfits, but you did it because it made me happy. You always wanted me to be happy. My sweet little shadow who loved his family more than life itself.
The Christmas Eve party has been moved to Uncle Dave's house. They don't want my yuck and I don't blame them. Papa and Gramma are going to the party. I am going to stay home with Rosie. That's okay. I'm not feeling up to it anyway.
We'll, I hope you have something fun planned with your best buds up there. At least you won't have to dress up this year! It doesn't seem right celebrating Christmas without my wee little man to join in the festivities.
Love and miss you bunches,
Mom
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Hi Kathy
I am sad you are missing out on the festivities tonight, but kinda pleased you are not having to drag yourself around cleaning and prepping food. Hopefully this bit of time to relax without having to worry about all that will help you feel a bit better for tomorrow. Hope you did get some rest with that little minx not tearing too much! Merry Christmas Kathy xxxxxx
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Trish,
THANK YOU SO MUCH for lighting two candles for my mighty lizard hunter. :p
I'm beginning to wonder if I might have whooping cough?:eek::eek: We had a few cases going around school before break. My cough is horrendous and I can't lie down at all without coughing up a lung. My voice still hasn't returned. Or it could just be my usual bronchitis. Either way, it's exhausting. At least I'm on break right now.
I already cleaned BEFORE the party was taken elsewhere. Ug! It is just as well though. It is a little before 9:00 on Christmas morning. I will be staying home with Rosie once again, while my folks go to Christmas dinner at my brother's house. My neighbors came over last night and brought toys for Rosie, with a card adressed to Rosie and Family. It was cute. I got her some toys too, for her first Christmas. It is so sad that she is deprived in that department. LOL:D The basket is overflowing as it is! Anyway, I will rotate toys to keep the little monkey busy, so I should be able to get some rest today.
May all you heavenly angels have a joyous and Healthy holiday! Xxxxx
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
So pleased your brother has stepped up to the plate Kathy, not so pleased you are whooping!! Have you seen the Dr yet? This cannot go on like this, your poor thing you must be exhausted!!
Yep Buddy got two candles, so did Woody before I realised I was signing in the wrong place DOH!! Remembering all our fur angels today alongside you all.
xx
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I know this holiday is hard and sad on many levels, Buddy missing, you being sick. I'm very grateful that you have Rosie in your life now and that your brother did indeed step up.
Things will get better. I just know it.
hugs,
sharlene and molly muffin
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Sharlene and Trish,
I finally got in to see the doctor today. I have bronchitis and whooping cough! :eek::eek::eek: I was also running a fever that I was not aware of. I am on 10 days of heavy-duty antibiotics and medication to help ease the coughing, so hopefully I can sleep. We'll see. I will write more tomorrow. I am exhausted! Thanks for asking guys. Xxxxx
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Kathy I am so glad that you got in to a see a doctor and got some good meds to try and kick this thing. No more messing around with your health now! Get some rest, drink plenty of fluids to stay hydrated and then ..more rest!! Take care. I'm so glad you got a diagnosis.
hugs,
sharlene and molly muffin
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
OMG! Kathy, were you ever vaccinated for whooping cough? I'm just checking the web now and see that it may be prudent to get whooping cough boosters -- I didn't know you didn't get lifetime immunity! I just got a shingles vaccination, but looks like a whooping booster may be in order, too...:o
Marianne
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Yes Marianne, I got a Pertussis booster in 2010! Little good it did me!:mad: All District staff were encouraged to get a booster following an outbreak on a college campus. Parents are opting out of vaccinations, so is occurring more often! I was almost hospitalized! Pneumonia would have set in within the next few days if antibiotics weren't started before then. The sad thing is I tried to get an appt. a week ago and they wouldn't let me come in. :o:( So, I have been very sick for close to two weeks!
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Marianne,
Pertussis boosters in the form DPT (Diptheria, pertussis and tetanus) have been encouraged for a few years now. District staff was not forced to get a booster, but it was STRONGLY ENCOURAGED. It was previously believed that the initial shots provided lifetime protection, but not anymore. I've never coughed like this before and have had bronchitis and pneumonia previously. I would still recommend getting a booster, even though it didn't protect me. I hope this helps.
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Well I am so pleased you got into the doctor Kathy, you poor thing that has been going on so long. Hopefully these meds will kick it into touch soon. When were you due to go back to school? I would imagine you would have to be clear of this for some time before they let you back. Keep resting up!! Have you got some inhalers for the bronchitis to open up the airways? Hope your feeling better soon xxx
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Sorry to hear you're so ill at the moment - take care of yourself and hope you're feeling better soon.
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Thank you for all the well wishes angels. I am hanging in there, resting when I can and not doing much else. I'm still feeling like crap, but at least I know why. I am hoping the antibiotics start to kick in soon, so I feel a little better. No fever today, which is good. At one time or another, I have had pneumonia, and several bouts of bronchitis. Never have I had a cough as physically exhausting as this. I cough until I can no longer breathe, then struggle for air to continue coughing. This cycle can continue for hours, until I vomit or wet myself. Neither is pleasant! It is much worse at night. I have to rest propped up, which no one can sleep like that! The good news is that I have another week off to rest and plenty of sick leave if I need it. At least I have that option. I am concerned about my folks catching it. They are in their eighties and have many other health issues.
That's about it for now. Thanks for caring. Before I forget.... You might want to check in to getting a Pertussis(Whooping Cough) booster. If you had a DPT (Diptheria, Pertussis, Tetanus) immunization as a child, you don't have lifetime immunity as previously believed. I had my booster and still got it, but hopefully I will recover faster with fewer complications. Whooping Cough is serious. There have been deaths reported. Protect yourself angels. We need all of you healthy. :p xxxxx
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Re: My Beautiful Buddy Boy
Kathy,
Hope you get some relief soon and start to feel better.
Take care of yourself.