My Pug Scoop (Precious Scoop has passed... )

Tonight it will be 3 weeks since my Scoop is no longer with us. I miss him so much. My heart still aches as much now as it did the night we lost him.

Leslie-I want to respond, ask you about your post but I am just having trouble right now doing that. I can't think straight.

I often thought to my self that the hardest thing in the world to do would have to make the decision to set a day when he would have to leave us. I just didn't know if I could make that decision. If I knew he was suffering then that would have been different. I didn't want Scoop to suffer. I probably would have had to rely on someone else to decide. I thought if Scoop would go when he was ready MAYBE it wouldn't be as hard thinking he knew it was time. Well, it sucks! Big time. It's worse than I ever thought it would be. Scoop decided to do it on his own but it hurts that he was in the hospital, not at home and his family who loves him so much was not there with him to hold him, give him ear rubs, kiss him, hug him and tell him how much we love him and it hurts like all H--L!
I just hope he didn't suffer and he knew how much we all love him. I know the nurses there loved and cared for him but it's not the same as his family.

The one nurse told me she gave him an ear rub shortly before he went into cardiac arrest. I guess I'm jealous and sad it wasn't me doing that for him. As far as I know, that was the last thing he knew before he passed and it wasn't me there. I wasn't there for him and it HURTS!

Vicki:
I cannot get thru any of your postings without breaking down. I am so sorry at the way things turned out and wish I could turn the clock back so you could be with your baby at his time of passing. God Bless you and Scoop in heaven. I know how you feel and understand that it still hurts very much. I hope you can get some peace some way, some how.Blessings
Patti

Vicki,

I had vets tell me that when a dog is in bad shape, their bodies have a way of not feeling pain and some aren't aware of what is happening to them. It's a natural occurrence that keeps them pain and stress free.

Also, I'm sure that the vet gave Scoop the necessary medications to ensure that he wasn't in pain.

Patti, I'm sorry. I know you have a lot to deal with Tipper. I know my posts have been depressing. I don't mean to upset you. I just can't get myself past any of this at all right now. I just feel like I need to say things. I am so stressed out and I can't relax. My insides feel like they are tied in knots. I feel horrible.

Valerie, I don't think Scoop was on any pain meds, at least not that I was aware of. The ER doctor that horrible night told me several times, Scoop was a sick little boy. The next week when I talked with Scoop's IMS I said to her that I didn't think Scoop was that sick. She told me that she didn't think he was either. This whole thing has been a nightmare. Just makes me wonder if things could have turned out differently. I miss my Scoop so very much.

Oh Vicki, I so understand how you are feeling, this sucks big time.....maybe Scoop knew that you couldn't be there at the end, maybe he knew it would be too hard for you...sometimes I wish I didn't see Simba lying still on a table, thats a hard thing to get out of my mind...after he got his shot he wasn't there anymore just sleeping in a coma vet said, I replay it everyday, I hated making that decision, but I had to for Sim....he was suffering, and I couldn't bear to see that anymore....so Sim is gone and free and able to walk and eat and poo like nobodys business, but the main thing is that he is happy...and some day I will see him again....take care hon, here for you!!!!

Oh, thanks Letti, I guess no matter how it happens, it is hard. I just wish the last thing he knew was his family was with him. I am so glad I got to spend about 1 1/2 hours with him earlier that evening and some time with him in the late morning. My last memory of Scoop is seeing him on the table covered with a white blanket. After I got the phone call I made it to the hospital in 10 minutes but he was already gone. Maybe if he had given them some sign he was having a problem maybe they could have helped him sooner but till they saw he wasn't breathing it was too late. CPR didn't help him. Just so many what ifs. It sucks.

oh yes, those what if's, and even now with a new pup, I'm still in the cushings mindset, it's going to take awhile!

Vicki,
I am on the same page with you and Letti. I have my own set of what-ifs that I am tackling also. I think it's part of the grieving process. If it isn't, it sure as heck should be.:o Thank you for your nice comment about Rosebud. It does help having her around, but I still miss Buddy terribly, just like you miss Scoop. I am very thankful that we all have each other to talk to. Great big hugs for you my dear.

I know how you feel Letti,

I was there holding my mother's hand when she died. I told her that it was ok to go and that we would take care of dad. Almost immediately after that she began to feel cold and they told us that she was gone.

Part of me can't stand that that is the last sight in my mind of my mother, and the other is grateful that I was there for her.

Unfortunately, I have had the same experience with beloved pets and still have those final moments ingrained in my memory.

Either way, it hurts.

Vicki:
I did not tell you about reading your post to make you feel bad, so please don't. I just wanted to let you know I am hurting for you and Scoop. You say and do whatever your heart needs to. That is why the rest of us are here, to pick up the pieces for our dear friends. You need to get it out, whatever you want to say you know I support you. I too am frightened about what this disease has done inside my Tipper. In a way I want to get an Ultra Sound, in another way I don't because if there is something now that I cannot do anything about, it will kill me. I am thinking and praying on it. I am going tore- contact Dr. Bruette and see if he can tell me how to get some research started on this disease. This cannot go on taking babies and ruining lives. People are behind cancer research for people, and they love their pets so I am sure they would support this. I see myself in you Vicki, and second guessing, and all the what ifs. God Bless You and Scoop.
Patti