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Hi all....
Hope everyone is well. I've been keeping busy working like a maniac but took the day off today and it was really hard. I keep thinking Lucy is still here. I got her ashes today and that was harder than I thought it would be. I still haven't been able to bring myself to even EMPTY HER WATER BOWL! Not to mention her bed in my room with all her babies on it. Trying not to put a time line on things, but is this normal?
Oh yes... you are very normal. I remember the day my dear Haley came back to me in a box. My heart broke all over again. I wasn't ready for it. It took me months to move her things. Take your time and heal in your own way. And come here whenever you want to talk about it.
I want to thank you for sharing your journey with dear Lucy with us. Her story truly is inspirational and she, along with you are pioneers. She is still a hero in my eyes.
I wish I could take away the pain and fill the void.... only time my friend... only time. Huge hugs, Kim
Hi Gina,
I am so sorry you lost your Lucy girl. I know the pain is just to the bone now. For me, there is no pain that matches the pain of losing a dog.
You and Lucy are heroes and trailblazers.
Down the road, I believe you are going to look back and be very thankful for all of the extra, beautiful, quality time you were given with Goo. You know Lucy doesn't want you to be distraught for too long. Like a girl at WalMart told me very matter-a-factly, "all dogs go to heaven."
Ken
It's been two and a half years since Chris passed away and his insulin is still in the refrigerator and a few of his toys in my closet and some of his bowls in a cupboard in the kitchen. Plus his pictures are all over my desk. There's no deadline for any of these things Gina - do what feels right for you.
Natalie
Gina - There is no normal when it comes to these things. Like Nat, I still have all of Zoe's medicines in my pantry and her bottle of anti-seizure meds in my frig. And we've moved in the interim! Her two favorite stuffed animals are in a wooden box in the LR. I take them out and let Cooky sniff them, but cannot bring myself to let her play with them. And it'll be a year next week. So whatever feels right for you IS right for you. The tears decrease over time, but I still go thru spells where they will come several days in a row, and then I'm ok for awhile.
You are in the very early stages of grieving and, IMO, I say let the tears flow whenever they want to. I found it very therapeutic with Zoe (and with KC before her) to get a journal and write down all of those special things that they did - good or bad or funny OR just plain quirky. One time incidents, habitual things, memories of their early days and their later ones. physical characteristics (like I wrote of how sweetly Zoe's tail curled to the left and how I grew to 'love' that huge melon sized lipoma on her left side, even though it made her look lop-sided). Write down all of your memories . . . everything. And keep the journal close at hand for awhile because sometimes you'll be doing something and, seemingly out of the blue, you'll remember something that you forgot to write down. Here it is, 11 years later, and I still get out KC's journal every now and then ..... sure, I read it and weep - but now it brings way more SMILEs than tears. Plus, I jotted down things in KC's journal that I know I would've forgotten by now - if I hadn't put them in writing. It really does help....... Sue
Hi Gina,
I've been away from the board for a bit and just came back to read this; so sorry to hear about Lucy Goo's passing. We all know you fought real hard for her.
There is no "timetable" in terms of grieving; there are still moments when I get choked up and it's been 4 months now. It's going to take some time for you to adjust and things will never quite be the same.
I still have not removed all of my Mandy's things; her coats, leash and harness are still where they have always been. I don't know why it's so hard to do this last task, but it just is. Her urn is in my bedroom and I talk to her every now and then...usually about Pebbles (my new puppy)...I like to think she's watching over things :)
You'll take care of things when it feels right to do so.
Jeff & Angel Mandy
I am so sorry to hear about Lucygoo. Please feel me hugging you.
Lynne, Bailey and Angel Clyde
Gina,
I'm so sorry for the devastating loss of your Lucy. She was and always will be an inspiration to us all, as are you. Grief has no timeframe, whatever gets you through one moment to the next, to the next, and the moment after that is completely individual.
There is no doubt in my mind that the Goo is watching over you.
Much love and many hugs,
Jane, Franklin and Angel Bailey xxx
Dear Gina,
You and Goo have been on my mind and I hope you are finding the days a bit easier to face.
Many hugs,
Leslie and the gang
Hi Gina-
I am so sorry to learn that you had to release Lucy Goo.
I can echo the "There is no timetable" sentiment. It's been just over 6 months since Palmer was released and just yesterday, while only half awake, I know I felt him up against my tummy. I don't cry as much now, but it still comes. I told my son last night when he asked if I was getting excited about Bailey that, yes I was very excited, but at the same time I was sad. It points out how Palmer is not here....and I still miss him so very much.
You did all and more of what could be done for Lucy. Have peace and trust your body to let you know what you need. After Palmer had been gone for about 6 weeks and when everybody was out of the house, I buried my head in a pillow and cried and cried and sobbed. I tried to let whatever was in there come out. I found it helpful.
My thoughts are with you.
-Susan
Gina,
My Newf Macy also had a very large macroadenoma and had surgery but days after surgery she died after I brought her home. I'd love to "chat" with you about the symptoms you saw before the macro was finally diagnosed and would very much like to discuss your journey to diagnosis (misdiagnosis, tests, meds). Please get in touch.
Kathy
Hi Kathy.....Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I got a message from Glynda but have been so crazy busy and stressed I haven't been able to respond...I feel like a shmuck! Anyway, sent you a private message reply and feel free to contact me any time.
Hope all is well with everyone. I'm doing better, time does help, but I still have "guilt" dreams about Lucy and cry unexpectedly. I miss her so much. And sometimes right before I walk through the door after being away, I still expect her to be there. I've had fleeting thoughts of getting another dog but just can't do it yet. The last few years with her were so taxing on me I had no idea, but I wouldn't take it back for anything. She was the most human, intelligent dog I've ever had, and I'm quite sure no other dog can ever replace her. My Goo!
Take care all,
Gina (and Goo up there somewhere)
Hi Gina,
SO good to hear from you again!
You are doing just fine, honey. You invested so much of yourself in Lucy you are supposed to feel lost, at loose ends. It's almost like losing a limb...that phantom presence remains forever. The difference is that Lucy loves you so very much and misses you just as much as you miss her.
I'm sorry, but you don't have any right to feel guilty, tho. My god, the lengths you went to for her; everything you did, you did for her good; you and Lucy walked into unknown territory and showed the rest of the world what is possible. You not only gave your all to Lucy, you gave more than you can to the rest of us...you gave us hope. Hope that one day these terrible tumors can be eradicated.
Gina, you don't have to grieve alone. We are here anytime you wish to talk. Take your time, be good to yourself - you deserve it! - and know you have many here who understand your pain and are more than willing to hold your hand.
When you are ready, that baby will appear and you will know it is time to love again. When that day does come, we will rejoice with you, too.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang
Hi Gina-
I just want to add "ditto" to what Leslie said.
Goo is up "there" romping and stomping with all her four legged friends. As soon as she sees you, she will come bounding in your arms. Try to remember the warm times, the good times. Goo would not want you to be upset.
-Susan
Hi everyone:) Hope all is well with you guys.....I'm doing okay, still haven't been able to get a new dog yet, but I'm getting there...perusing craigslist ads, etc.....I really miss having a dog but want to wait at least until after the holidays.
Have a question concerning my sister's dog. He's a big boy, some kind of hound, queens something breed mix (forgot the name of it). Saw him last night and was rather disturbed....He's grossly overweight (been on prednisone for years for continuing ear/allergy problems)....bright red eyes, and lethargic, but still eating. This morning my sister called me in a panic....Dino (his name) has not eaten or barely moved. I told her to give him bacon, which he eventually had a little, and to give him chicken, and Pepcid (since he's been on prednisone so long) Now she tells me he just walks into places he never goes, corners, etc., and just stares at the wall. To me this sounded like Lucy with her macrotumor but he's never been diagnosed with Cushings. He's about 11ish. Any thoughts or ideas?She's bringing him to the vet tomorrow, but I'm thinking maybe kidney failure....I don't know. Any advice, input would be appreciated.
Thanks:) Gina
Gina, it's so nice to hear from you! When the time & the pup is right, you will know. I lasted 3 months after Harley passed before I brought Obi home.
After I read about your sister's pup, my first 2 thoughts are his eyes, cataracts, or some other reason for blindness that he is getting disoriented to a degree in places that are familiar. Chewy is now totally blind, & does really well overall in his home, but there are times when he gets himself stuck in a corner or behind a piece of furniture & has absolutely no idea where he is.
The other thought is canine cognitive disorder. If it is CCD, anipryl is used for that, & it may be helpful with some of the symptoms.
Debbie
Hi Debbie!
Thanks so much for replying:)
I should have communicated better. Dino's actual eyes are not read, it's more the immediate area around his eyes that are red, like the conjuntiva...particularly around the bottom. His eyesight is okay but he's completely deaf now...has been that way for about 6 months now I think. Other than that has just been slowly declining....seems every time I see him he looks worse.
Anyway, hope all is well with you and your new baby! I can't wait to get one of my own again....at least I have the itch now..lol