Holidays can be hard...

Well, we got an early Christmas present here in north Georgia — six inches of snow!! It’s been perfect and beautiful:-). Started on Friday morning and snowed through Saturday morning. Luna has loved romping in the snow, although she was scared by a big snowman that the kids built across the street. Too funny!! The snowfall was bittersweet for me, though, because I kept picturing Peg outside in our rare snowfalls of the past. The flakes always looked so beautiful on her shiny black coat, and she loved to scoop up big mouthfuls as she raced around the yard. Missing her so much all weekend, especially since we finally got the Christmas tree hauled inside the house and put up in the stand. I started decorating yesterday and will finish today. But you all know how that feels. Again, so bittersweet. Right now, the house seems filled with ghosts of Christmas past. Hoping to feel cheerier as we get closer to the holiday itself. I keep telling myself that every new day is a gift that ought not to be wasted. If only every day actually ended up feeling that way...

Sounds lovely and bittersweet Marianne. Yes, holidays are not always filled with joy for many of us.

I won't be decorating or putting up a tree. It's the first time ever! I fractured my back mid September and have been wearing a spinal brace that encircles my entire torso, so I'm frankly physically unable to do the work that involves Christmas set up this year. Even though my heart is usually not into the holidays, for various reasons, I usually do it anyway, for my folks to enjoy. This year it is just too much! I am working through the 21st, before I go off on break. Yes, working while wearing the brace. There are many more challenges with my folks and just keeping up with their needs has been very difficult and exhausting. So, something has to give, and it looks like it's going to be Christmas. Hopefully my folks will still be around to enjoy next Christmas.

Those braces are a nuisance for sure. I wore one when I was a teenager for Scoliosis. It didn't straighten my back so I had surgery and had to wear a body cast instead! For nine months!! Isn't there anyone who can help you with a tree, Kathy? You could just sit and point!

Six inches, Marianne! We only got about three. Gable was out there eating it, he loves the snow. Sibbie kept trying to figure out what was in there that he was enjoying so much. She kept digging and sticking her whole head in, coming up all white! You could just see her wondering what he was after. It was very funny to watch.

Lena was so small, three inches were mountains to her, but she still got around. I used to get so nervous at night because she blended in and I couldn't see her, and because of my back I couldn't risk falling in the backyard. So many memories. She would come in with the snow stuck to her in mounds! We had to melt it off, which she loved. All cuddled up in a towel with me squeezing all the snowballs trying to get them to melt faster. I can't believe this will be our second Xmas without her. It was two years ago this week that she was diagnosed and started the Vetoryl. So many things I wish I had known then...so many things I would have done different. I still feel so guilty that I wasn't there with her when she died.

Yikes Kathy, a broken back does not sound good AT ALL!! Hopefully it is mending! I totally understand about ditching the Christmas tree. I have a bum knee — will find out tomorrow if I need an arthroscopic repair — and I was so worried about wrenching it even worse while we put up our tree. But I managed it OK, thank goodness.

Hey Joan, I had to wear one of those awful braces due to scoliosis, too! I have very bad memories from that time period, that’s for sure. Just when you’re already self-conscious and wanting to be “cute” and blend in with trendy clothes and trendy activities, you’re saddled with that monstrosity of a brace. Truthfully, it was such an awful time for me that I’ve repressed a lot of memories from back then. At least I was spared surgery, too, though. I’ve still got quite an S-curve, but thankfully no back pain (knock on wood!).

I must confess, Marianne, that I did not wear the brace like i was supposed too! I would take it off and hide it in the garage, go to school, then put it back on before i went in the house...bad Joan! Lol! The surgery worked, I still have two steel rods in my back. My parents didn't find out until years later that they were supposed to come out! So they are now firmly embedded in my spine.

Yes, as a teenager in high school, it was very difficult. I couldn't wash my hair by myself, my mom had to do it for me while I lay on top of the ironing board with my head in the kitchen sink! I had to wear maternity clothes to fit over the cast. I couldn't wash anywhere inside the cast...used lots of perfume! Was always terrified I would fall. But I survived it all and can look back and laugh at some of the stupid things I did while wearing that cast!

Oh my yes, worrying about tripping or falling on steps and ending up like a turtle thrashing around on its back!!!!! Out of the couple hours each day I was allowed out of the dreaded brace, I picked P.E. classes. I was no great athlete, but just wanted the other girls to see I wasn’t “broken,” if that makes sense.

I honestly don’t even remember how I got my hair washed — one of those memories I’ve repressed, I guess. And what a wardrobe — lots of stretchy pleated skirts and big boatneck sweators. Ugly, ugly, ugly!

I wonder if treatment has advanced. I’m gonna ask the orthopedist tomorrow if they’ve improved on those awful braces.

Well, Joan, who’d a thunk we’d be “S” sisters ;-)))))))))! Imagine that! HA!

I know, Sister!

I think it has improved immensely. I read about it a while ago, but have forgotten.

I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas. We got a little snow which is very rare where I live in Texas. I still can’t put up a tree or decorate . I use to love Christmas with my baby. We would share sugar cookies and she would bark and paw at her presents. I would show her the lights on the tree and her eyes seem to sparkle. I miss her so much . I love her so much. All I want for Christmas is you , my baby. May my family here and their fur babies have a very nice Christmas . And the ones who have lost theirs , be comforted my the sweet and precious memories of the Christmas past.

Oh, Dawn...how sweet. Lee's eyes used to twinkle too. We would just lay on the couch and watch the lights on the tree Christmas Eve after everyone had left and I had put the presents out for Christmas morning. It was our special time together, just us. Everyone else was asleep. I miss that...I miss her, all the time. She would make herself comfortable on all the Christmas paper as the presents were opened...I don't know why she liked that so much. My little gift-wrapped angel.

Merry Christmas, Dawn...I wish I could help you feel better somehow.

I'm sure those dreaded spinal braces have improved dramatically since you both needed to wear one. My fracture occured 3 months ago. The brace isn't really that bad, except it chokes me when I need to sit down, due to a steel rod down the front. I am constantly having to adjust it, which means reaching into my clothes.I wear an undershirt, then the brace, then a overshirt. I can't wear a bra with it, which makes me feel really self conscious. On weekends, I skip the overshirt. It is much more comfortable that way. Yes, the look! Thank goodness I don't care about that stuff any more. I look like a hunchback, with a huge hump on top. The kids at work have gotten used to me wearing it and help me when I ask them. They are great at picking up things off of the floor that I'm constantly dropping and slowing down in lines, when I need them to.

We are hoping that my fracture heals, but will take twice as long as normal, if it does. I have osteoporosis, which means weak, crappy bones. I am having a battery of tests done because I had another fracture after being on osteoporosis treatment. I broke my ankle five years ago by just twisting it while I was walking. I'm not sure how my back fracture occured. There was no trama. It started hurting and was found during an urgent care visit. I am now going to be seeing and endocrinologist, to help sort everything out. The thyroid affects the way that calcium and phosphorus are absorbed in the body. My spinal surgeon is pushing for answers/solutions. He has much pull, so now things are getting done. Specialists are being held accountable. Surgery will only be done as a last resort. More damage could be done, since my bones are already weak and brittle. So, as of now, I am seeing my GP, a spinal surgeon, a osteoporosis/bone specialist, and will be seeing an endocrinologist. I am VERY THANKFUL for good school district health insurance!!! So yes, Setting up a Christmas tree is out this year!

I hope all goes well with your knee Marianne.

Kathy

Wow!! That's a lotta doctors! Someone should be able to get to the bottom of it all. The cast used to be up around my neck like a neru collar. I was getting my ears pierced one time from a woman across the street, my grandmother was going to have hers done and talked me and my sister into it. When my neighbor pushed the needle in one lobe I leaned so far over that I cut off my breathing and passed out. She was a nurse, so no one panicked, but that was the end of that...one ear almost pierced! I finally got them done when I turned 50! LOL!

I personally hate wearing bras, so any excuse not to wear one works for me. They sit right on the spot wear the rods end and irritate me.

That’s a lotta doctors for sure, Kathy :-(((((. I hope you start getting some answers ASAP, as well as a decent treatment plan! Getting old sucks, generally. But getting old with health problems REALLY sucks. In honesty, I’ve been really lucky through the years, but just within the last six months my body has finally started to feel “old” with all sorts of miscellaneous aches and pains. It’s a bummer. I don’t really know how I injured my knee, either. But Wednesday’s report is that I have a torn meniscus that may or may not heal on its own. Assuming it doesn’t worsen, we’re gonna give it another couple of months before going in for a surgical repair. But the “assuming it doesn’t worsen” part will be key because if I take a mis-step and retwist it, I’m dead meat. Please tell that to Miss Luna when I’ve got her out on the leash and she sees a squirrel...or a bird...or a person...or another dog...or a leaf blowing...

Well, it’s now been a week since our glorious snowfall. We still have a few small piles of snow in sheltered areas, and the remnants of the largest snowmen still dot the neighborhood. In contrast, though, the weirdest thing is that all the petunias in my windowbox are still alive and even blooming! That is way odd for us this time of year. Even after snow and nights in the mid-20s, those happy petunias just keep lifting their heads each morning and bloom away, right next to the Christmas wreath. It makes me think of Addy’s signature line about memory being the power to gather roses in winter. I guess my petunias are there to remind me that unexpected gifts can be revealed, even in the midst of hard times. So there you have it — my morning moment of reflection to start off our day ;-).

Marianne, one sign that our fur babies are still with us and communicating with us, is flowers blooming when or where they shouldn't be. I don't know if you believe in signs from our beloved pets, but it could be Peg letting you know she's still with you. That's the first thing I thought when I read your post.

Last year we had an Iris blooming in November when it shouldn't have been. It was lilac fringed with purple. We named it Lena's Iris.

Awwwwwwwww Joan. What a supremely sweet thought and suggestion. Peg’s Petunias. I love it!

I hope you will see another flower this winter, too, my friend.

Oh Joan ,you do help me feel better. My baby and your baby were so much alike.I like talking about her. I do think like you ,that in a way they are still with us . And send us signs .When you talked about the flowers , my heart felt joy . I planted a miniature rose bush for my baby .it is a bubblegum pink . It blooms year round most of the time . The thing about it ,it always blooms in roses of two .Always so close together . I think it's a sign from my baby of our everlasting love we shared and still do .although at times it makes me cry ,it makes me feel happy . Mommy loves you baby .

I think it is, Dawn...two hearts always together. It must be beautiful! Upload a picture I would love to see it...why don't you dry some and make something special for her.

I am busy decorating my tree. All of Lena's ornaments surround a picture of her. Her special ornaments, the carriage that she rode in in Williamsburg when she was 1 1/2, all the poodle ornaments we gave her, the ones she (I) gave to her Daddy, and the memorial ones after she left us.

I'm thinking I should do paw print ornaments of the rest of them while they are still here. I have her prints from the ER that they did after she died, before they brought her sweet little body to me. I am still waiting for my husband to paint it, but I think he just can't. Maybe I'll do it myself. This is my second Christmas without her.

I'm going to start making my Xmas Shortbreads either today or Monday. Ever since Lee died, I decide not to do them, but then I remember how much she loved it. As soon as my big mixer came out, she would park herself in the kitchen at my feet waiting for a taste of the dough, which she got from each batch! I used to bring one of her beds into the kitchen so she wouldn't have to sit on the cold, hard floor. Another special time with my little angel.

I think our girls are together watching over us and looking forward to the time we will be reunited.

Merry Christmas, dear Dawn.

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Originally Posted by mommyslittlegirl

...I planted a miniature rose bush for my baby .it is a bubblegum pink . It blooms year round most of the time . The thing about it ,it always blooms in roses of two .Always so close together . I think it's a sign from my baby of our everlasting love we shared and still do .although at times it makes me cry ,it makes me feel happy . Mommy loves you baby .

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Dear Dawn, I know there are such things as “Sweetheart Roses.” Whether or not the bush you planted is officially such a rose, it surely is one in spirit! You and your baby are two sweethearts joined forever, just like the roses. Like Joan says, your roses sound beautiful, and perfect just like your sweet baby girl. Thank you for telling us about your roses. They make me smile and warm my own heart on this chilly winter morning!

Love, Marianne

Another Christmas morning is here, and once again, Luna and I are the first ones awake. It is still dark aside from the twinkling lights on the tree. They are so beautiful, and they remind me of all the sweet spirits who have brightened my llfe. Merry Christmas to all our family. Merry Christmas to all our beloved, whether physically present or physically absent. May this day be filled with comfort and healing thoughts and prayers. May the ache in our hearts be soothed by precious memories. Even though genuine happiness may elude us in the midst of our loss, may the past and present merge for us all in a shining moment of peacefulness. “All is calm, All is bright.”

Merry Christmas to our K9C Family, around the world and back again!
Marianne

Merry Christmas Marianne . And to all my family here.

Thank you so much, Dawn. Sending my warmest wishes right back at you!!

I hope my family here had a wonderful Christmas! Sad memories, good memories are what life is all about. But we are a strong group here, we've all lost ones we love and are working hard to keep the babies we still have safe and healthy. I think we can get through most anything after going through Cushings's. It's a terrible, heartbreaking disease and it puts us and our pets through the wringer: the testing. the food challenges, the vet bills, and the ups-and-downs. But we do get through it, scarred, but we go on.

I am so thankful for all the friends I've made here. I don't know how I would've gotten through this with Lena if it hadn't been for all of you.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Love,
Joan

I'm a little late posting for Christmas, flew back to Ontario to be with family. Home now and hoping everyone had a very Merry Christmas. Today is New Years Eve, it will be quiet around here just another evening for me. Guess it's because I worked so many New Years Eves, I welcome the quietness. So Happy New Year to all of our family here at K9C and may the new year bring happiness, peace and comfort to those who have lost our babies and to those battling the disease. HAPPY NEW YEAR - Everyone.

Hey Joan and Judi, thanks so much to you both for writing. It’s going to be very quiet here at our house, too. Just my mom joining us for today and tomorrow, and no special plans other than cocooning around the TV to watch old movies, football, and to stay warm. Compared to those of you further north, we have nothing to complain about, but still, this coming week will be plenty cold for us. My mind always turns to worry over the humans and animals who are stuck outdoors — I sure hope that there will be shelter for all who need it.

New Year’s Eve is always kind of a poignant time of reflection for me, and it looks as though today will be no exception. Overnight, I dreamed about one of my best friends who passed away a couple of years ago. In my dream, she looked so well, and told me that she was doing much better with her treatment. It was so wonderful to see her. But then when I woke up my eyes were filled with tears, realizing it was indeed only a dream. As I age, there are more loved ones absent than are present, that’s for sure. Partly that’s my own bad, because I have become fairly reclusive and could get off my butt and involve myself in more community activity that would hopefully lead to new friendships. Tomorrow, New Year’s Day, will more likely be my time for looking forward and making those kinds of resolutions. But today and tonight, my mind turns backward. And missing so many, so dearly. There’s such an ache inside me for them all.

And that’s why I’m so grateful for my friends here at K9C. I thank you for supporting me here, every single day. I wish you my very best in the coming year. May 2018 truly be a most happy new year for our entire family!

Stopping in to wish you all Happy Holidays.

The New Year can be a time of much reflection, years past, years to come. I read a quote recently: change is hard in the beginning, messy in the middle and glorious at the end. I stopped to wonder about that glorious ending as it seems for me it stays messy a long time.

This year is the first year since losing Zoe that her bird tree stands in all its glory, fully adorned and magnificent, gracing our living room.
This year is the first year that I can appreciate and love Zoe’s tree’s beauty, feeling my little girl’s essence in every twinkling light and loving every minute of its glory.

So perhaps it may be that glorious ending I could not seem to find was because I was looking for it in the wrong places or perhaps did not even want to find the ending.

We are going out for the evening as we did last year. After spending many years at home, mostly asleep, I find myself craving a celebration to start the New Year. Off we go in the bitter, bitter cold to ring in 2018.

Love to you all, memories held close of all we have lost, and my hopes you might find a glorious ending in an unexpected place.

And if not glory, may we all find peace.

So glad you put up Zoe's bird tree Addy. When I close my eyes, I can picture it in all it's glory.

I'm not doing anything special for New Years Eve. I will probably be sound asleep long before midnight.

We need Sharlene to report in, so we can live vicariously through her. Happy New Year all!

Kathy

Wishing you a better New Years. Too many sleepy New Years at home. Maybe next year go out New Years Eve. Will probably be asleep when the clock ticks Midnight. When did I get so old? My Apollo has visited through Humming birds flying up to me and my Mom. Saying I'm okay Mom and watching over you. Miss my boy every day.
Love Sonja, Apollo, Karma
And our two rescues Ariel and Kristen

Well, ladies, here we are turning the page and starting out with a fresh calendar. Hey Kathy and Sonja, I figured I’d be joining you in slumberland early last night. But I hung on and actually watched the TV ball dropping in icy Times Square. A small achievement, but I did it ;-).

And Addy, how good to hear from you. I’m soooooooo happy for your (our!) joy over Zoe’s tree, and I hope you and hubby had a swell time last night :-). I was especially taken by these words you wrote, and on this first fresh day of a new year, they’ve really got me thinking. Yesterday I was so mired down in absences that I couldn’t imagine a world absent a connection with that pain. But truly, the ending of one story may herald the beginning of another, if only the right bridge can be built.

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Originally Posted by addy

So perhaps it may be that glorious ending I could not seem to find was because I was looking for it in the wrong places or perhaps did not even want to find the ending...


...Love to you all, memories held close of all we have lost, and my hopes you might find a glorious ending in an unexpected place..

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So maybe I can work on my bridge-building skills this year. I’m thinking that sounds like a pretty good new year’s resolution. Starting out, though, it’s time for a brisk walk at the lake with Luna followed by some fortified eggnog and the Rose Parade. Those are a couple traditions I’m going to hold on to!

Well, I made it up till well past midnight also! Stumbled across a new series on Netflix and I ended up watching several episodes in a row. It's a British drama based in the late 50's, early 60's. Who would've thought? The next thing I knew fire crackers were going off and horns were honking. Happy/probably drunk neighbors were out in the street screaming Happy New Year.

No deep reflections from me. Frankly, I'm not that deep! Hoping that 2018 is better than 2017, with more love, joy and happiness for all!

Well, for our house, it’s the close of another winter holiday season. The Christmas tree ornaments were safely packed away yesterday, and our tree joined the others at the recycling center to be transformed into mulch for trails and gardens. That always makes me feel at least a little better about taking it away. A little, but not much. I really miss the glow of the twinkling lights on this cold January morning, and the living room seems so empty again. But it is what it is, and the pages on my new calendar start turning again. Every year we buy an old-fashioned paper calendar of daily pages with photos of Labs. We love seeing a new doggie face every morning. So now the 2018 calendar is on the shelf, and another new page gets turned this morning.

Once again, I want to thank everyone for stopping by this year. Having our holiday house here has come to mean a lot to me, and it has helped me through some very hard times. I hope the same is true for others, as well. And as I always say, the door here is also open throughout the rest of the year, too. There are plenty of other holidays in addition to the ones we’ve just celebrated. So until we talk again, I wish everyone my best.

With hugs to all,
Marianne

I know I say this every year, but how is it possible that the months can fly by so quickly???? Here we are once again, with October upon us as well as the beginning of the autumn holiday season. I am so happy that I’ve finally managed to open the doors to our holiday house this year in time to celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving! So for all our Canadian members, we hope that tomorrow will be a very special time for you all.

Having said that, however, we realize that all the holidays can be associated with all kinds of emotion and memories. Some are joyful, others not so much. So I’m going to repeat part of the welcome that I posted last year.

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For any of our newbies, this is a thread where we can come and share our true feelings thru the holidays. Good times, and sad ones too. The holidays can trigger so many memories and so many mixed feelings. And especially when we're missing loved ones, it's good to have a place to come where it's OK to be real. No brave faces, no false smiles. Just real.

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So here we are and here we’ll stay, all through the holidays. Our table is always set. We’re here to laugh together and to cry together. We’re here to honor the friendship and understanding among our own little K9C family, and I hope our holiday home will always feel like a safe harbor to all. Any time. We’ll be here.

Welcome!
Marianne

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving to all our members up north :-)))))))))))))

Marianne

Happy Thanksgiving dear family!

I hope this post finds you all well.

I imagine a great feast taking place at the rainbow bridge while all our pups look down on us, hoping to see a smile and hear our laughs.

Koko is 11 or 12 and is doing well. I was going to post some pixes but the files are too large so I will have to try to resize them. Koko still loves to travel and loves going to hotels. He is still the most grateful dog and so sweet. My brother added a puppy to his family and though Brody is larger than Koko, they have a great time playing. I am thankful Koko has a dog friend to play with and relate to.

I am still working, no retirement yet, lol. Hard to leave after 30 years and I can’t leave the work dogs just yet.

I may not stop by very often, it is still very hard as Zoe memories come flooding back and the memories of all those precious pups I knew so well that are with her.

Please know you are all always in my heart.

Oh Addy, how wonderful to see you back with us today!!! Ever since awakening this morning, I’ve been thinking of all our angels, too. It’s a day of Thanksgiving for so many things, most especially a day of thanks for all the joy and love that our dear fur babies brought into our lives. And thankfulness, too, for the friendships that bind our little family together here.

I love it that Coco is still enjoying his life and his travels! Please give him a great big hug from his Auntie Marianne. And of course I am sending a great big hug to you, as well! Thanks so much for stopping by today, Addy. We love you!

What a wonderful surprise! It is so good to hear from you again, Addy! I, too, believe all our babies are together in the Rainbow Fields watching over us as they play together, waiting for that day when we will be reunited. It brings me comfort to think of them so - whole and well and strong and happy together.

I am glad Koko is doing well and pray his continues to do so, filling your life with purpose and joy for a very long time to come.
Stop by when you can and always know you are remembered and loved by your family here always.

Hugs,
Leslie

Well, it’s a very rainy December 1st here in my part of the world. We’ve been having unseasonably cold weather for the past week, so I was rooting for some snow. But yesterday the winds shifted and all this warmer moisture is heading up from the Gulf. Even though Luna is happy to splash in the puddles and get all wet and muddy (typical Lab :-), her mom is not. So I’m guessing there’ll be no walks today. Poor puppy girl!

We had a small, quiet, very lovely Thanksgiving — just Luna, hubby, my mom, and me. I think Christmas will be quiet, too, which is just fine with me. We have our tree soaking in a bucket of water in the basement and probably will wait until next weekend to put it up. We always leave it up until recycling day comes around after New Year’s, so that’s a pretty long stretch to try to keep it fresh once it’s upstairs in the heat.

Me being me, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about absent family and friends, including friends made here over the years on the forum. So many dear ones from all over the world! It’s been pretty quiet on the forum lately, and I miss those doggies and their parents very much. But the trade-off has been the delight of knowing them all during the time they were here. That has been so special, always.

Lately it seems I’ve been dreaming a lot, too, about dear ones who’ve passed. I got to hug Peg again last week, and I was stunned because even in my dream I knew it couldn’t/shouldn’t really be happening. It felt so wonderful to touch her warm fur, but it was so fleeting — and I was so stunned — that I had no chance to really savor it. In a way, it just made me miss her more when I woke up. Just now I dreamed I was chatting with a friend who passed a couple of years ago. It was more extended and felt so good while it was happening. But again, now I’m awake and I miss her so much in my “real” life. But maybe that’s where I’m missing the boat. Maybe I’m missing the connection. Maybe the dreams are just trying to show me that nobody we love is ever truly absent from us in spirit. Just like that wonderful quote of Leslie’s. But still, I wish for more. I am greedy and perhaps ungrateful for the very gifts I’ve been given.

So it’s a quiet rainy morning to start off December. It’s a quiet rainy morning that gives me plenty of time to think, which for me is sometimes good and sometimes not so much...

I wish Lena would come to me, Marianne. If she has, I've forgotten the dream as I wake up. I would love to feel her in my arms again and kiss her sweet little face; hear her sigh as she would settle close to my heart; hold her up and kiss her potbelly. I get plenty of signs, but I would just love to hold her again.

It's been raining here too. My guys all come in from the backyard with their muddy paws! I shouldn't complain, right now they are all well, no one has had to go to the vet in weeks. I looked out the back door yesterday and Gable was standing on top of a trunk we put the outdoor cushions in. I took some pictures, but can't get them to upload. He is really feeling his oats lately! I put a chair closer to him so he wouldn't jump off and break anything. He always liked to be up high so he could see everything. He used to climb the playground steps and sit on top before this all started.

I bought Sibbie a new Xmas dress. She will look adorable. Doree can wear Sibbie's from last year. I miss seeing my two girls in their Christmas tee shirts. I just can't bring myself to have Sibbie wear Lee's.

Other than that, we're getting ready for Christmas. I'm not decorating as much as I used to, I just don't have the energy after my 3 1/2 hour commute to/from the city every day, plus I'm getting too old to do it all myself. It's time to tone down!

Merry Christmas, my dear friend...and to all of my dear friends here on the forum!

Hi to my friends and family here. November 16 was my third year without my baby . I miss her and love her so much . I still cry every day for her . Sometimes a few tears and other days a flood opens up . But now another heartbreak in my life has come . The sweet man I was engaged to passed away Thanksgiving Eve . He was only 45 . How does one go on ? How does one celebrate the holidays ? I truly hope my family here has a great holiday season . And please give thanks to the people and pets in your life . We never know how long we will have them .

Oh my dear Dawn! I’m stunned to read this news about your fiancé! I am sorry beyond words to read about this new heartbreak in your life. There can be such joy and beauty in life, but also such sorrow and pain. It seems so incredibly unfair that you should be dealt this new blow. Thank you so much for coming back to tell your family here. We’re standing right beside you, once again and always. Always in support of you, and always in loving memory of the sweethearts who have been lost to you on this earth. May the circle of love remain unbroken, though. I do believe, in my heart of hearts, that love is forever. And forever loving, and forever loved, you shall be.

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs, my dear friend.
Marianne

Oh Dawn, how sad! I'm so sorry.

We are celebrating differently this year. My mom who has Alzheimer's has been in and out of the hospital and rehab for the last couple of months and probably won't be able to come to our house Xmas Eve like she usually does. My sister and her family will come anyway, and one of my brothers who does not celebrate the holidays, will stay with my mom...it will be different.

I started making my shortbreads last week and could only think of how much Lena loved them. I missed having her sitting in her bed in the kitchen waiting for a taste of the dough from each batch. When I Skyped with Melissa, the animal medium, the summer after Lena died, she said that Lena was telling her something about some special bread that Lena liked. At the time I said bagels, because I couldn't figure out what she meant. It wasn't until Christmas when I started making the shortbreads that I realized what it was. Every year I say I'm not going to make them anymore, but my baby loved them and I can't disappoint her.

i thought you might enjoy that story, Dawn. I hope it makes you smile and realize that our loved ones never really leave us.

Love,
Joan

Thank you Marianne and Joan .Wishing everyone a nice Christmas.