Mira, 7yr old Husky - Cushings ruled out; liver cancer (Mira has passed)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by maggiebeagle

Its been almost a year since Maggie died and I still cry sometimes. The tears are more nostalgic now and not so heart rending.
Those people that don't understand that our dogs aren't "just dogs" are missing out on so much in life.
Please allow yourself time to grieve. Know that this is a safe place to write what you can't say aloud to anyone.

---

Did you get another dog?

Cailey joined our family in March. We named her after forscooters two bad boy bassetts, Scooter and Bailey. She has been a blessing.
She is a 28 pound black mouth cur mix and is very different from Maggie in looks and activity level.
We talk alot about what a special dog Maggie was and we remember all the funny things she did. We were preparing ourselves mentally to let her go, trying to decide if we were making the decision too soon. One night, she had what the vet thinks was a stroke and we had to let her go that day.
Maggie was a rescue dog, but I feel she is the one who did the rescuing.

I think beagles are so cute. Maggie sure was. Those eyes. Is the new one a beagle too? Kira is behind me reminding me I promised a walk! A long time ago! Huskys don't bark but they whine a lot and some sure like to talk. Kira likes to talk.

Hi Janis
I have not posted in your thread before but I have been following.
I was very sorry to read about your Mira.

My wee Bonnie passed away just a few weeks ago on the 13th Nov..
My heart is broken just like yours. I just wanted to post because I know how you are feeling. My Jock a scottie dog passed away in 2007. Jock also died of liver cancer that had spread around the body. I also found out after it was too late to do anything. Reading your thread was so painful because it reminded me so much of how Jock passed.
Anyways.... if your heart is telling you to get another dog then I would go ahead and bring that fluff ball home.
I could not bare it after Jock passed away and like you I had another dog at the time "Bonnie" who had cushings. Soon after I went on to have another scottie "Mactavish" and I'm so happy I did.
Big hugs
Denise

My house is just not a home without two doggies in it. It won't be tomorrow or the next day but maybe before Xmas.

I'm going to ACC in a couple hours to have Kira tested and talk about Cushings . It's the last place I hugged my little Mira just a week ago. I hope I don't completely come apart. I know there will be tears but I need to focus on Kira. Oh man Janis don't think about Mira right now.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by me and my twiglets

Hi Janis
I have not posted in your thread before but I have been following.
I was very sorry to read about your Mira.

My wee Bonnie passed away just a few weeks ago on the 13th Nov..
My heart is broken just like yours. I just wanted to post because I know how you are feeling. My Jock a scottie dog passed away in 2007. Jock also died of liver cancer that had spread around the body. I also found out after it was too late to do anything. Reading your thread was so painful because it reminded me so much of how Jock passed.
Anyways.... if your heart is telling you to get another dog then I would go ahead and bring that fluff ball home.
I could not bare it after Jock passed away and like you I had another dog at the time "Bonnie" who had cushings. Soon after I went on to have another scottie "Mactavish" and I'm so happy I did.
Big hugs
Denise

---

I'd just die if there wasn't at least one furry face around here. Two is the best. I asked bud once if we could have three and he said "how about none". No two is fine.

Quote:

---

Just the right words at the right time. It nice to here from someone who is there too. Thank you. I figure I'm in it for three months at least. Before I can truly let go and another ^^ furry face will make our family whole again.

---

Janis - I'm so glad you have so much support here. I know your heart is in a million pieces and you'd give anything to fix it. It will take time. It's been 17 months since I lost my boy, and I still cry often. I am still not ready for another dog. I believe you will know when you are ready, and that new family member can help you heal.

Wishing you all the best.

Janis - You are with the best support group you could find anywhere. We really understand. It does take months to get over the loss of our furry ones. As I've shared, I lost my baby Haley at the end of May and have spent the rest of the year fighting like a maniac to save my Annie. I hurt and right now I can't imagine another dog yet. My family can't believe it but I feel like I need to focus on getting Annie well or at least give her all of my attention. Beyond that - I can't yet say. Everyone's hearts mend at different rates. Take your time and just know we understand. Kim

Dr Deihl at ACC the one who had to tell me about Mira's cancer... gave me a pet loss book. It's a workbook sort of with question and answer sections. I did the one titled "how well are you dealing with the loss of your pet?" Out of a possible 1(best) to 16 (worst) I got a 4. I was prabably closer to a 12 when this all started. I couldn't done it without you. Everyone who posted me a hand and helped pick me up time after time. I still have a long way to go but at least i'm doing it right. At the moment I just feel meloncolly too tired to feel much of anything.

She was lossing the fur around her eyes... that was the worst symptom other then a feeling that something was horribly wrong.
http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/pict...pictureid=2104
The fur around her eyes was almost normal again when she died. Cute picture of Kira in the back ground huh? "What's wrong with her mom?"

Fly with the angels sweet Mira...
http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/pict...pictureid=2107
Fly with the angels...
http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/pict...pictureid=2105
The last picture. The last peanut butter.
http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/pict...pictureid=2108


Why? I don't understand. I'm so sorry Mira.............................................. .......... .. ... .. . .. . me too mommy

Absolutely wonderful pictures. What a beautiful girl.

(((Hugs)))

What beautiful pictures, Janis.

We all ask why, I think, and don't understand, maybe we are not meant to.

I hope in the coming months the photos will make you smile. I still can't look at photos of my kitten, she's been gone five years. Maybe some day I will be able to look at them and smile and that is my hope for you.

Love,
Addy

Quote:

---

Absolutely wonderful pictures. What a beautiful girl.

---

DITTO! Thank you for sharing.

Hi Janis,

You are doing better, girl. I can "hear" it in your "voice". You have survived the last few days, these early days in which we face so many "firsts" without our baby. The first time we go to bed, the first time we wake up, the first time we come back home and open that door, the first time we prepare only one bowl of feed; it seems as if every second brings a new "first" in these early days.

But with every "first" faced and conquered, the next is just a teeny, tiny bit easier. One of these nites, as you prepare for bed, you will look back on your day and realize there were no "firsts", which will bring a little sting of tears to your eyes but it is a sign that you are healing.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

I have 1805 pictures of Mira.... course a lot of those didn't come out real good.

717 =puppy pictures
738 =from 2004 to 2010
350 =of the last 13 days

OMG, Janis, the pictures are beautiful. What wonderful treasures to have. We all ask "why?" but we really know the answer. God just didn't plan too well when He made our lifespan longer than He made their's. It just isn't fair. But I, too, hear some healing in your "voice" and that is a sign of moving forward. Mira will be so happy to see you get back on your feet. She would want you to remember her with smiles and a warm feeling. She will be waiting for you when it is time for you to be together again.
Love & hugs,
Carrol & Chloe

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bichonluver3

OMG, Janis, the pictures are beautiful. What wonderful treasures to have. We all ask "why?" but we really know the answer. God just didn't plan too well when He made our lifespan longer than He made their's. It just isn't fair. But I, too, hear some healing in your "voice" and that is a sign of moving forward. Mira will be so happy to see you get back on your feet. She would want you to remember her with smiles and a warm feeling. She will be waiting for you when it is time for you to be together again.
Love & hugs,
Carrol & Chloe

---

Life is a series of dogs..
It's better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.

Well I've made it this far anyway.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altira

That may be pretty soon cus if Kira goes anytime soon I'm going with her. Please let Kira be ok. Please make this stop.

---

Janis, in recent days you have made several statements similar to this one. When experiencing intense grief over the death of a loved one, it is natural to have thoughts of hopelessness and desperation. But when those thoughts become more frequent and overwhelming, it is time to seek professional support. All of us here care about you very much, and deeply wish that we could ease your pain. But we are not able or prepared to help you in the face of suicidal thoughts. Once again, I strongly encourage you to seek professional assistance. Or at the very least, to see if there is a pet loss support group where, under the guidance of a group leader, you can directly talk with others who are also grappling with their grief. Your vet center may well know of such a group. If not, here again is a list of support and counseling resources for you to consider:

http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/showthread.php?t=171

We care about you, and we will always be here to help honor and remember Mira. We are also here to continue to offer our support and suggestions regarding Kira's treatment. But you are frightening us with your statements of hopelessness, Janis, because they go beyond a scope that we are prepared to handle here. As I said earlier, I do believe that getting the support you deserve is always a sign of strength, and not of weakness. You are a strong woman at heart, Janis. And a trained professional will help you to reclaim that strength.

Marianne

Hi, Janis,
Yes, life is a series of dogs. Unfortunately it is because their natural lifespan is so much shorter than ours. It is something we have to deal with in order to get the immense gifts of love and loyalty they give us. But it is all worth the price.
I look at my babies: of the 3, 1 has Cushings and 1 has diabetes. This is their life, I cannot change it. But I will make their life as good as I can. They were rescues and I promised them that much when I brought them home. I know my time of grieving will come. When I am right again within myself, I know that there will be another little precious soul waiting for me to find him/her. It is what my babies would want. Dogs are not selfish and their hearts are huge. They would want us to share the wonderful life they had with us with another little baby in need.
You summed all that up in your statement "Life is a series of dogs". Yes, my dear Janis, you are on the road to healing. Stay with us. We are all here to help. But what Marianne said is true. If you need more professional help, find it. Kira needs you and who knows who else is waiting.
Love & hugs,
Carrol

Life is a series of dogs...

George Carlin said that... "Hey doc that was great can I have another one?"

Not selfish? I don't know... Mira didn't like sharing me too much. She'd whine until Kira got out of HER spot. Then Mira would go get a drink and Kira took over again. Mira would just flop down and wait. If I petted or hugged both dogs at the same time Mira would growl.

As long as I keep believing Kira will be alright I'm alright. As long as Kira grows old I'll be alright. And even if she does neither of these things I'll still be alright. But I reserve the right to let my emotions fly in every way, shape, manner or form. Whatever needs to come screaming out. I scare the hell out of my mom too. I bet every one here has felt like they wanted to die how could you not. It's how I get past it. And then I go on to do it all over again just like the rest of you. If they didn't make us so damn happy they'd never upset us so badly when they go. And I have to tell you my dogs will get a blood test once a year from now. I didn't even have a chance to save her. But I had one month, it could have been just days, it could have been no days at all. It could have been worse. I'm glad we had that time together. I'm glad she let me touch her and cry. I'm glad I can look at those 350 pictures I took the last 13 days. I have a video of her chest as it pounded and her breaths fast and shallow. I'm going to post it on you tube so anyone can see what I was seeing. Her heart being pressed against her ribs. Her heart rate never faltered it staid steady and strong. She was otherwize a healthy young girl. Anyway.

Janis -

Don't think I ever posted to you but I have followed your journey with Kira and Mira. Such beautiful girls. I am so sorry about Mira. You were a great mom to her. It is normal to want to blame yourself and think that you let her go too soon. But given her diagnosis and condition, I do not believe that for a moment. When they have such serious problems, as Mira did, I truly believe it is better to err on the side of caution and choose sooner rather than later -- because the thought of them suffering and being unable to tell us would be far worse. I think you absolutely made the right choice for Mira. Hug Kira close and continue to trust in your instincts with her. Sue

Hug Kira close and continue to trust in your instincts with her

That's exactly what I'm going to do this morning ... Hug Kira close and continue to trust in my instincts with her.

I'm going to stop all meds and wait and see what this last test says. She seems terrible to me. I want to see if this helps.

Oh Mira, only five days gone and I'm already talking about getting another dog. I'm so sorry. Your brother Tiger and Poppy had puppies about five weeks ago. There is one called Auntie Em. You would have been her aunt.

And another three year old female called topaz. That Sherri kept that she said I could have. She is your cousin.

Kira will have an operation. What if I lose her too? She wants a friend, she tries to play with other dogs we pass by.

Nobody follows me anymore. No bed buddy, no welcoming committee. Kira just sleeps. She wont even come when i call her. Mira I miss you. I can't believe you are gone. Your eyes were so bright and your face so young. Tell me what to do.

I am so sorry for your untimely loss of Mira. My heartfelt sympathy for your loss. Godspeed precious Mira.

Don't feel guilty about thinking about another pup, especially a family member. Mira would want you and your family to be happy. You can never replace her. You are just giving another fluffer a wonderful new home.

God bless your family,
Heidi and the bichons

Hi Janis,

Thinking of you and Mira today...

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

I am sure that Kira would enjoy having a new friend. Although it has been just a short time since Mira has passed, you have a nice opportunity to bring in a new family member...who is literally related to your Mira and Kira. I think that is very nice:o

It's tough to consider getting a new furball when you have not let go of the last one...I was out this weekend looking at pups and had these feelings of guilt/betrayal. It's a bit ridiculous, I know, but you can't help it. It just is. But, I'd like to think that even if my Mandy were alive, she'd welcome a new friend into the house...:rolleyes:

Jeff & Angel Mandy

You know Leslie said that you go through a lot of firsts. I never thought of it before but it sure is true. The first time you open the door they aren't there. The first time you wake up and they aren't there. The first time you walk your dog and her mate is not there. Had she died of old age she would still be there. For another maybe even harder part is when you wash away all evidence of them. I had tipped the coffe table up on it's side and moved it against the wall. She had yipped twice crawling out from under it. I was afraid shed rupture her liver so I moved it. Every time I looked at it I cried I couldn't move back into place. I'd never see her under it again. Vacuuming the carpet was a killer. Sucking up all her fur and throwing it away. One of the last times I brushed her I saved some. Washing the floors she slept on. The nose prints off the windows. And my Jeep that had carried her to the vets so many times those last three weeks. I had gone out to the garage and furiously polished it one night. I wanted the car that would carry her to her death to sparkle for her. In the process i had walked by the door leading into the house and i wondered would she be there on the other side ?? She was. I invited her out in the garage with me. And i told her what i was doing. I was so upset and angery.

Then there was putting away the second set of leashes I had made specail for her. I didn't put her bowl away until Neka came. And the multitude of pills for her that never got used. She didn't live as long as we had hoped. I only just cleared them from the counter a few days ago. Washing away all the evidence that she ever existed. And the rain that came and washed away every place she had so carefully marked those last days. All gone. Washed away. Was she ever really here? Or did I just imagine her?

Dear Janis,

She was always there, and she will always be with you in your heart and memories. Her spirit will always live on and at times you will be staring into space and you will see her in your minds eye with that special look that she would give you and you will feel lucky that you had each other to share that time of your lives.

(((Hugs)))

Maybe this needs to be said. At least from my point of view. They say that's it's wrong to get another dog right away. I don't agree with that. It sure felt that way when I first started looking though but now it feels just fine. I look at Neka and I smile. She's so cute I can't help it. How can that be wrong? I look at pictures of Mira, or even just think about her and I cry so easy. How can that be wrong? In those last days I let myself get so close to her. I think if I hadn't done that this would have been a lot easier. But I just couldn't not show her how I felt about her and how much I apprecated her constant attention. It ment so much to me. And if your thinking that I was looking for a dog just like Mira hoping she would be just like Mira... well I wondered that myself. Afterall I picked the one that looked the most like Mira and cloestly related. But it's not that way at all. Neka is her own little girl and I think that's just wonderful. And if she grows to look very much like Mira that's wonderful too. If I look at her and see Mira's essence then I couldn't have asked for more. I think it's a great tribute to Mira to want that. This is out 6th Siberain Husky in 30 years. They all were so differant, this one will be too.

New years eve:
It was a hard night. A whole new year. It just makes her feel that much farther away. I better not say more Bud is right here and it will just get me crying more.

On a happy note ... Wiggly bite bite bite Neeka got all sleepy right after midnight, I picked her up and got to hold her and brush her for about a half hour while she slept. Mira's little niece. So small, so soft.

I am so glad little Neeka is helping to ease your pain over Mira. I hope each day is easier and easier to face.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

I am so very sorry. My tears are with you. We just lost our little Schnauzer Fritz this morning. He was the love of our lives. Although we have nine other dogs and 5 cats, Fritz was the sweet baby that stood out. Just remember Mira is no longer in pain nor is Fritz and we will all meet on the Rainbow Bridge. I know it exists.

Although I am not with you I am holding your hand.

Carole

The things you don't think about. Every year I make up my own calendar. If your like me you can't even remember how old you are. I could careless about my age but the dogs is important. I alway note how old they will be each year. I sat down today and started making my yearly calendar and suddenly realized I wouldn't be putting Miras birthday on the calendar. We didn't even make it to eight. And when the city asks me to pay for Miras dog license I'll have to tell them she died. I keep remembering those last few nights. We couldn't go for walks anymore it was too dangerous. Shed go outside and lay just on the other side of the window from me. I'd get up and go out there in the freezing cold and sit with her. Laid down with her one night. Oh Mira. I keep remembering sending her off with the girl at ACC knowing soon she'd be dead. Its ok Mira go on. Oh Mira. This year I added her to the bottom of the calendar where I list the dates the dogs died.

Sigh 9-6-78 to 9-30-91 (13 yrs)
Sasha 9-10-84 to 2-9-00 (15 yrs)
Kodi 9-16-91 to 3-7-03 (11 yrs)
Mira 2-27-03 to 11-27-10 (7 yrs)

That's a pretty wide range huh?

Oh my heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry.

Lynne, Clyde & Bailey

Ah, Janis,

Another first. :(

Today, Mira is running for all she is worth. Chasing butterflys, deer and geese through the sunny fields across The Bridge. She carries you with her in her heart every step, knowing this is just a temporary phase. She still feels the warmth of your body as you lay beside her in the cold and she knows the source of that remembered warmth is your love, never ending.

Hugs sweet friend,
Leslie and the girls - always

Tribute to Mira

From the day we met we stuck like glue her and I. It was hard on both of us to be separated. But after five or so years we began to work it out. She didn't freak out anymore when I had to leave her. She was such a doll and I was so proud of her. It was at the same time that she became so beautiful. I saw her daddy walking her and I raced for the camera and caught her lopping beside him. Later I asked Bud why he had walked her and he said it was because she looked so beautiful. He had seen it too.
http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/pict...pictureid=2003
For the next year and a half we lived the life I had always dreamed of. My beautiful doggies. My beautiful Kira and Mira. Then when she was seven they told me she had cancer and only had thirty days to live and my world came crashing down. I didn't even know she was sick. She would be with me in the same room all the time and I didn't know. We went for walks every night and I didn't know! And for the last twenty two days of her short life I watched her being eaten alive by this horrible thing. There was nothing I could do, it was too late! What a crewel way to take her from me. My pretty Mira. I never saw her grow old. Her eyes were always bright.

I remember on Thanksgiving, I was in the kitchen cleaning up the dinner mess. The dinner I had shared with her. Bud hollered... "I let Mira out". But I already knew, because I just saw her go by the window. Oh god, she's heading toward the planter. No running, jumping, or playing. Her liver could rupture. I fought down the want to run after her. Jumping up in the planter and investigating the bushes was her favorite thing to do. Well if she should hurt herself and die, at least she died doing something she loved. So I kept cleaning up, thinking about what I'd feel if I saw her out there struggling. Oh God. I moved toward the sink to rinse off more dishes and this is what I saw when I looked out the window.
http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/pict...pictureid=2086
My sweet Mira laying on the cool cement, peering in the kitchen window… watching for me. I was more important then the bushes. Watching me was more important. A day and a half later she was gone. She was only 7 years old. I can’t believe she’s gone. The rules for grieving are all different when they die young.

I loved you Mira…
Mommy
(Janis)

Tears is all I can give you Janis. Its a sad story and so unfair. But Mira was loved. And she knew it. I'm sorry this happened. Hang in there and hug your other furry critters. Kim

It's been a very tearful couple days. I just about finished Miras photo album and the tribute is written. I printed all the pages here and added them to her records. And i had to wash away more evidence of her. I'm feeling pretty raw. I'm so mad about Mira. But it fired up some anger and determination to do better. I've made some progress with Neeka "maybe" found somethings that work. Shes making this cute little sound when she has to potty. Its worked all day today anyway. And Kira had a little spring in her step today too. And she let me brush her teeth a little too. I hope I can stick with it. Next week Kira and Neeka should be able to start hanging out together. They have been separated since Kiras surgery. I hope they will let me help them to get along and maybe learn to share like Kira and Mira did. I lost so much when Mira went away.

So nice to hear about Neka Janis. I am sure she is a sweet pup.

But, no, you won't ever forget your Mira. I have had similar feelings and experiences over the last few weeks....I totally adore my new little friend, Pebbles, but Mandy is not far from my mind, or my heart. I am still gradually cleaning out her "stuff" (last week it was her meds and vitamins). But even if the "stuff" is gone, the memories are not. But, I took two of her stuffed toys from way back, cleaned them up and gave them to the puppy. She loves them and it's a pleasant reminder of my Mandy, rather than a sad one.:o

Jeff, Angel Mandy & Chi-Chi Pebbles