My heart is with you and your wife. My deepest condolences. The bonds we have with them are never broken and Lulu is in good hands right now as she meets all the pups at the bridge. She will always be with you.
((((hugs))))
Terry
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My heart is with you and your wife. My deepest condolences. The bonds we have with them are never broken and Lulu is in good hands right now as she meets all the pups at the bridge. She will always be with you.
((((hugs))))
Terry
Thanks. Here is a link to a picture my wife took during Christmas time.
http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/albu...pictureid=4603
Awww what a pretty girl she is :)
sharlene
Thanks all again. We are going to save Lulu's ashes and take her to Dr. Booth's more rural workplace, the one that Lulu felt comfortable with, it's a satellite of Dr. Wilson's place and one Dr. Booth is at on Monday and Friday's. Lulu wasn't shaking here. We want to be able to visit Lulu when we want to, though we will plant a tree for her and also add a few of her ashes at what we call the Berry tree. Our English Setter that died just a few months after we moved into our 20 acre homestead is at, as well as our cat Krummcakes (named after my late grandmother whose cat had kitten when she died) and Joey our West Highland Terrier. We also have two parakeets there.
And I will be around, we are a believer in paying forward, and we have been getting a lot of paying forward for us, including our home taxes this year. I am hoping to be able to stay on here and improve the place. I want to add a trail path that Lulu herself created. You know I followed the path she and I took for over 10 years and up onto two weeks ago she still took. I will travel the Lulu path tomorrow morning as it was the path she liked to take to see her neighbor dog Bella, the Jack Russell Terrier who I am sure will miss her. Her mate and older dog Daisey, maybe not so much, as she would mostly bark. Lulu was the boss she wasn't intimidated by Daisy the Great Dane, though I was.
So sorry to hear about your precious LuLu, she's a beauty, I love your trail idea, what a cool memory to have and to give your new angel. Sending prayers your way!
I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your sweet Lulu. My thoughts and prayers are with you. What a beautiful, sweet girl.
I am so sorry to hear that dearest Lulu has passed. My thoughts are with you and your wife.
Angela and Flynn
So sorry LuLu has passed. Fly free sweet LuLu. No more pain. Hugs, JoAnne
I am so sorry to read about Lulu. I too lost my little guy yesterday in what was most heart-wrenching day ever. Maybe Bo and Lulu have found each other and are mingling amongst their fur friends playing like they used to play before. Bo was never intimidated by size either. Prayers of strength are sent to you.
Thank you all on our sweet Lulu. And Bo, I wrote on your thread about your Bo, who went at the same time our Lulu did. They are in orientation together, and I bet will be great friends.
I am so touched to read about your plans for Lulu's tree and her path. For those of us who are lucky enough to share our lives with retrievers, I think there is no place where we feel any closer to their shining spirits than when we are outdoors walking the trails where they loved to run and sniff and explore. In my heart of hearts, I do believe they return to join us in those spots. Here is one of my favorite poems. It helped me a great deal during those first walks after we released our boy. And to this day, I still call my Barkis to walk alongside me on those mornings that dawn especially fine. I will be thinking of you and Lulu as you walk her trail today.
We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in fire glow?
And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.
And only I can see you swim
in every brook I pass
and when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.
Author Unknown
Marianne
So sorry to hear of your heartache.....
Hugs, Leah
Oh my gosh, I am so sorry to read that you have lost your beautiful girl. She had a wonderful life with you. Hugs and prayers to you and your wife. My deepest sympathy.
Tina and Jasper
Thanks Marianne for your thoughts on my Lulu path or trail, I especially want to note the shortcut she had from our old hay field to between one of three tall Douglas Firs we had planted when we moved here in 1999. I would tell Lulu to follow the Lulu path and she usually would.
My wife and I love the poem. It was very fitting. It will be one of our favorites from now on!
I love all your ideas for tributes to your Lulu and I am sure hoping you hear good news about the position you interviewed for.
Lulu had another path, one here on K9 Cushings and we all followed her along that path. Thank you for sharing her with us and thank you for being such a great dad to her.
Thanks Addy and I think Lulu knew I had an important day, as she saw me get dressed that morning. I think she knew her time was nigh and waited till I came back that afternoon. My wife said she was having a hard time getting comfortable wanting to switch from foam bed to foam bed, as we had two on the floor and she would go for the closest one when she came in from outside.
I'm so sorry to hear of your heartbreaking loss. My thoughts are with you. Hold the memories of Lulu close. Hugs to you and your family.
I was very shocked and saddened to hear of Lulu's passing. I was out with friends last night and checked here quickly, the news bought tears to my eyes. She seemed like such a graceful old girl, approaching the world with her quiet ways, and your support of her was truly inspiring. I am truly sorry for your loss, please know that we are all here for you. I do hope that you and your wife will be able to treasure the memories you have of Lulu's wonderful spirit. Take care.
So very sorry to hear of your loss. I really like the pic from Christmas - she looks so regal.
Thinking of you and your family
Thanks all. I did my treadmill exercises. The last time I did them on Thursday I did them with Lulu in the basement, though she usually likes to go outside. So I put one or beds outside, before we got the snow and let her sit on her mat for 10 minutes, and I could see her there. She seemed very much at peace out in the sunny cold weather.
It wasn't as hard physically as I have continued to lose a bit more weight, as I had gained 10 at Christmas time and now down 7 lb. Mentally it wasn't too bad, but emotionally I was a wreck. I thought of her, spot on her basement mat and outside. But I think it is part of the healing.
I found this book available on Amazon, but also available as an E-Book, though it costs 17 dollars, I think it might be what I need I can read on my KindleFire. Here is the EBook link, I wonder what others think. I think I am more of a wreck then I was on Friday. http://petlossguide.com/
But I really believe in the afterlife and someway we will see our past pets. You know they are at peace and still love us, and we love them, so I don't know what the problem is, but it is!
On the job front I wrote a thank you letter to Mark yesterday and got this back from him. So maybe this will happen, I don't know.
************************************************** **
Bob,
I’m so sorry to hear about your yellow Labrador’s passing. We had a black lab who died at only 11 years of age about 6 years ago, and he is still missed to this day. My dad hasn’t had a dog to replace him since. I forgot to ask: is it just you and your wife who live in your house, or do you have kids? My wife and I only have two cats and no kids.
I can’t speak for the entire school district or Superintendent/Asst. Superintendent who are both close with Mark W., but I think your programming skills and flexibility would be well worth an interview – to see who else is applying. I don’t know if we have any administrators or people with past tech director experience applying. So I can only vouch for what I know about you. You seem to be a perfectionist and would have the time to devote to the position, and seeing things through – instead of not returning phone calls and being the type who is all talk and no action. I’ve seen that in the past, and we need someone whose actions speak louder than words. Just my opinion.
Please let me know how the application process works. I have never applied for a job as an outside applicant, using our web-based system. Let me know how the experience is, and when your interview date is as a result, assuming you get one. I’d like to know. I will hopefully be on the committee to hire to the Tech Director. I was never on the previous committees.
Good luck to you,
Mark
I was saddened for your deep loss of Lulu. She sounded like a beautiful and sweet girl and will always remain in your hear and soul.
Tight hugs to you and your loved ones.
Jeanette and Princess
I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. You were great parents to Lulu and it is very touching to read how attentively you and your wife cared for her during her last days. You are in my thoughts.
Just picturing Bo and Lulu finishing their orientation and now romping through the endless fields.
I looked to the stars tonight and know they are making their pawprints on the Heavens.
Continued peace and strength to you and your family.
I am just getting caugt up on the site. I am very sorry to hear of Lulu's passing. May God suround you, your wife and other puppy, with comfort peace and mercy.
Lord, when sorrow grips our hearts as we think about
the death of one close to us, remind us of the joy You are
experiencing as our loved one enjoys the pleasures of
heaven. Please allow that to give us hope and comfort.
A sunset in one land is a sunrise in another.
With Peace and Love,
Sharon and Norman <3 and (((hugs)))
Thanks Sharon and Belinda, and I know Lulu & Bo will be running around and playing and looking down at us. I wouldn't be surprised if we see a sign from our loved ones at times! I have noticed things that happen at times that seem to show that we are being looked after!
I gave Lulu's dog biscuits to our local bank. They all loved vocal Lulu, and I wanted to 'pay it forward' . They gave lots of treats to her. They were sad, two of them when I brought in the big box. I also printed up the picture of Lulu with her Christmas wreath on, the one lady Sharon was appreciative of this.
Today I went to the humane society 10 miles toward Port Huron. I stopped to see, only what dogs they had and if they allowed people to walk the dogs. They only allow you to volunteer and walk on their property. I told them I would once I got that job I've been trying to get. The three they had were a cute but overweight 6 year old girl, who was as friendly as could be, a couple year old cattle dog, but it needs 24/7 activity, too much and a very cute one year old getting neutered shortly, a pug beagle mix, and very cute. It did not look anything like a beagle, but had some wrinkles like a pug and weighed about 50 lb at most.
So on the job in Port Huron, I am almost done applying. I have a tentative cover letter, but I want to proof it all tomorrow and then call in to make sure they have everything they need. This has been one of my best shots, and though I may be a bit lacking on the managerial part, I will go to school and do whatever it takes to make this work. I know I can do this, and I know it's going to be tough.
And I know it's going to take a new family member to help. It's going to be a new chapter, but I will never forget Lulu.
P.S. I have been reading and doing some exercises in my grieving book, if others are interested I will post some exercises that may help. There are tons of them in the book, probably too many, but I think that perhaps a few of them are good to do, and it is all about doing and relaxing the brain a bit. My brain has been intertwined for 12 years of Lulu memories, and I would never have it any other way. But new memories will be made with new members, so that when my fateful day comes, and my wife's does too, those neurons will be added to the neurons of others that have passed before us, in a life that is more connected then our 'connected social world is today'.
Absolutely, please tell us about the grieving exercises you've found to be helpful!! This seems like an especially hard time for our family with a lot of losses, and we welcome any and all suggestions that can help with the healing. :o
I am hoping so much you will get this job! If I had any say at all, you'd be at the top of my list! Nobody could ask for a more conscientious and dedicated worker, that's for sure. We saw that in every detail of your kind and loving care for Lulu. Those doggies at the shelter will be SOOO lucky when you are able to brighten their days with visits and walks.
Sending my warmest thoughts your way,
Marianne
Im praying so hard you get this job. I think you are amazing:):):)
I would love to read the exercises to see if they can also help anticipatory grief which I think we all suffer to some degree.
We all support you 150%:):):):)
Thanks Addy and Marianne,
I have finished the application and turned in and called. They immediately indicated that I am all set, maybe that's a good sign, plus the fact the school system has looked at my website.
Now on the grieving book, I will give the website again, too. www.petlossguide.com and you can also for the same price get the book on Amazon.com just put in the title. But it is a hard copy only there.
Robin Jean Brown, author uses the acrostic R.O.A.R. meaning.
R = Respect your loss and grief
O = Own your reality
A = Affirm yourself
R = Reclaim your life
The first exercise asks you who you are. Then there is a spot for a drawing or photo of yourself, your pet or anything that makes you smile.
Then the next exercise asks how your life has been made better by animals?
Then the last exercise I will mention for now is: to compile a list of all the pets you've ever had a relationship with, include pix and age you were.
One more exercise to do and then calling it a night. Though first, a neighbor whose sister works for a large vet clinic said she said Lulu sounded like she may have had pericardial effusion. Not being familiar with this I have been checking this out. Not sure, but it is possible. And if so, not sure if the prognosis would have been good in Lulu's case based on her age. Anyway, let me try one more exercise to add to what I posted earlier.
Based on your pet timeline, how does it define your life and how does it make you feel? I used to have a vet, who retired, though he is younger than me, that said when he lost a dog of his, it added age to him. He thought that an era was older. I mean if you assume that a dog lives 10 years or more then you are a decade older, and that much closer to your own demise or in my vet's case an early retirement. So you see, he has defined it already he is ready to end his career and his outlook I tell you is different than mine. BECAUSE I am hoping to get this new job for me, and I'm not about to retire, and not because I can't, which is true, but because this new position would have much meaning to me.
Now to the point my old vet told me, Lulu is gone, physically from my wife's life and mine. So by all rights, I am a decade older, actually 12 years older and now I have entered a new era, one that is leading me closer to my own end. Okay that is true, we are finite. But this is where I differ. I will have another dog, maybe two, but I will continue to be me. When I turn 50 or 60 I am not an older person, because I have entered a new decade, but rather I am a continually growing person who is getting wiser and more knowledgeable in life. I will reach a point where I will no longer be able to function by myself, and thus require assistance be it nursing care, assisted care, family care, or maybe I will just go on to the next adventure in life, reunited with Lulu, Joey, Barry, Susie, Spike, Lenny, Snappy & Browsie. (I have just named all my dogs I have had starting with Browsie when I was in the 7th grade.
And finally discuss your best times and then discuss your most challenging moments with your pet(s).
Wow, that's enough to keep you busy a while, me too. These exercises are keeping me busy, and maybe that's what is important.
See you later. AND did anyone see Natilie Morales' rescue dog she got a year and a half ago, Zara? She is adorable. Go to http://allday.today.com/_news/2013/0...-adoption?lite
I wake up refreshed, mind blank (slate cleaned) at peace. I have fewer things to do when I get up, even though Nellie (one of our cats) follows me down, and I usually slice some ham for her.
But I am sad but not unhappy! I am happy that Lulu is at peace and happy for the great times we have had.
That extra time that we no longer need to devote to activities that had become such a part of our daily routines is difficult to deal with at times. The actions become ingrained to such a degree we find ourselves starting the routines even after they are not required. After Tasha was gone, I was stunned by all the things I didn't have to do and at loose ends with all that extra time on my hands. It's been 2 1/2 months and I continue to fall into the routines established with Tash but it is getting easier. I hope your days bring many happy memories and with those memories, healing for your Heart and Soul.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang
Thanks Leslie,
I tried to get my wife to go down the road 10 miles, to Mom's Kitchen, in small town Memphis, MI a quaint little restaurant. Mom is from Yugoslavia and has had the place for at least 10 or 15 years too. Very nice lady, and has down the town well with this place. I also suggested Mancino's of Port Huron, as we have a gift certificate for grinders.
I told her at least we should go up to West Branch later this spring to celebrate me getting this job, I hope to get. I really want to do that, with or without a new girl. But to much depression right now. Not really good, but I hope it gets better. It's hard.
Lot's of good memories we have too. I could put them together for her in a 15 minute memorial presentation too, but it's too early for me to do this yet, though I think I will start to sort out the images and videos I have. It all depends on this job, and it's certainly not a sure thing.
She, and you, have lost a child. Nothing can begin to describe that depth of pain. Please let your wife know that we are here for her as well; should she ever want to talk, we would be honored to listen.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang
Thank you Leslie, I told Moo that and said she could even create her own logon if she wanted.
It's our anniversary, but we have a quiet one at home, the first time in seven years. We weren't going out anyway, and I feel good that we are at home, less vulnerable to aches of being away where are girl would be. Just watching some tv and have laptop in the dining room, tv two rooms straight to my right side, so I can hear and see when I need to. We both are okay with this tonight.
One thing I read I believe in the grieving book is if you normally get up and do what I do and walk in the morning, and that included your dog, like I did with Lulu, is to do something else. I think anyway that is what I read.
Robin asks you to define your relationship to your pet. What did Lulu mean to me she asks? How did I show my love for her? I can tell you that I rewarded her with treats often, not always good for weight control. But I used to just give her a hug and just hold her.
Then Robin asks you to describe how your pet (Lulu for me) love you back? I know partly when I went to the living room, my favorite room to read, that she would come in and lie down at my feet. I could lay my feet on her at times as a foot warmer, which I sometimes did.
Then finally 'what did we provide for each other'?
I know your anniversary evening was spent differently than you might have wished or expected, but it is still a milestone to be celebrated if even in a quieter way. So I send you and Moo my belated best wishes!
Thank you so much for all the grieving tips. I have been thinking about them myself, and the memories and feelings that they bring up for me. The suggestion about changing your routine is an interesting one. There are definitely some ways in which that would be helpful to me, since I am a person who can be easily caught up and almost paralyzed in my own thoughts and worries. So changing some routines after a loss would be a help, I think. But sticking to some routines actually turned out to be a release for me. Especially going for walks. :o
When I wrote to you earlier with the poem, it brought back memories of so many walks taken both when my Barkis was physically beside me and also times when he was not. Walking the dogs is probably one of the very best parts of the day for me, because it gets me going, it gets me out in nature, and it allows me to see the world through their eyes (and noses!). I have two girls now, but at the time we had Barkis, he was our only child. So after he was gone, I had nobody to walk with (physically). And those were among the times of day when I missed him the most. But somehow that seemed like a routine I needed to keep. It hurt me so badly to walk without him, but I also felt closest to him then. On those first mornings, I actually took his collar in my hand and walked around the lake, tears pouring down my face. I must have looked like a crazy woman. But it felt really important to me to honor our routine, and I would call his spirit to join me. And after many days, slowly the walking got easier and it was at those times that I still felt the closest to Barkis. Long story short, we unexpectedly ended up getting our Peg after only a couple of months, so I did not have many solo walks after all. But as I say, that was a routine that I needed to keep up, regardless.
I apologize for making this reply about "me, me, me!" But the things you are writing are very helpful to me, too, and so it is a privilege (and a comfort) for me to have a chance to share some of my thoughts, too.
Once again, sending my best wishes to you and Moo today,
Marianne
I am oscillating through the grieving book. But that's okay. I did a couple of exercises spending about five minutes on these two.
What is the most important quality in a pet? Why? I mentioned compansionship, because a dog may be loyal or fickle but to me when my dog enjoys being around me and I enjoy being around my dog, that is just as important as loyality.
What are the benefits of having an animal companion? I mentioned not ever being lonely, walking companion, traveling as we did, and of course they can be great watch dogs, and even protectors.
I am definitely going to continue to walk. And I like the collar idea. One place we used to walk though 20 minutes away was around a river, park the county bought, now a bit more built up, but the route about 3 miles took about an hour to do. I think we may have done part of this last year, but not sure, but for sure in 2011. So I think I will do that walk once myself. I don't know if the snow has melted enough off the trails, but I think it is doable with boots right now. I know it will make me sad, but I think that it would be therapeutic. I might even take my step-dad's cannon he gave me, as it takes excellent professional shots. I have pictures of Lulu walking it.Quote:
Originally Posted by labblab
Marianne, don't worry about writing on my thread, there will be lots of text on it anyway from this grieving book, plus I plan to supplement it from another website, as I think it needs some refinement. :)
I am behind in my grieving reading and writing. So I will continue on, haven't answered these myself.
What are the challenges involved with having an animal companion?
How do you know which animal is right for you?
Who was your first pet. Describe this pet. Well my first pet was our cat Sandy, born when my sister was born, and was four when I was born. Sandy was a male neutered cat. We lived in Detroit, the cat came from my grandmother and uncle's home 30 miles north in Romeo. We would move closer to the country just south of Romeo. Our mostly outdoor cat Sandy came with us. She was sandy colored, I have some B & W photos of Sandy. (Maybe I will post some of our pets later.) He was soft. We never had another pet with Sandy unless it was our parakeet. Sandy lived a good long life, about 15 years old when she developed a bloating and we left him with our vet in Romeo but mom told me after we came back from a short vacation, that the vet had put him to sleep.