Mira, 7yr old Husky - Cushings ruled out; liver cancer (Mira has passed)

Oh, honey :(

We're here for you, I don't know what to say

I hear you.

I do understand that you are having a really tough time but only you have the power.

I have been where you are and it is not easy but you have to consider Quality of life for Mira. That means eating, drinking, toileting and pain free BUT it also means pleasure. Is she happy and does she respond to patting and loving.

Dogs are in the now and don't think about yesterday and how good it was or even tomorrow it is just now.

You are the only one who can help Mira whatever that turns out to be.

If it is not her time then just love her everyday.

Jenny

Janis -

We are all with you in spirit and we know this is such a difficult time for you.

Mira will let you know if/when it is time. She will make her own decision and she will find a way to let you know.

It might be they way she looks at you, or some other way. If she's eating, drinking, and getting around still, then it is not time yet.

Have you given her a peanut butter kong lately? Have you been taking pictures of her, of her with Kira, of you with her, of you and Bud with her? Pictures will help when she is gone.

But are they ever really gone? They linger in our hearts forever because a dog is pure love wrapped in fur.

((((Hugs))))

Gretchen in NC

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BestBuddy

Dogs are in the now and don't think about yesterday and how good it was or even tomorrow it is just now.

You are the only one who can help Mira whatever that turns out to be.

Jenny

---

I think our Jenny is very, very wise :o. And Janis, I think what she has written speaks to the heart of your greatest burden as well as your greatest gift.

Mira does not know she is only seven, and deserves so many more days of sunshine and long walks and love. And she does not know of the tumors inside her body that will surely end her life here on this earth. That knowledge is your terrible burden, not hers. And so she does not feel regret, or fear of the future. Again, those burdens are yours.

But because of your burden of knowledge, you also have the power to spare her the pain that the tumors will bring. It is hard to think of that as a gift. It is surely not a gift to you. But sparing Mira pain is a gift for her. The tumors are a certainty, and they are what are killing her. So if and when you decide to take her in, you will be releasing her from the power of the tumors and the pain that they carry.

I think Mira has reached a point where nobody would question your decision to release her. Not us, not the doctors, not Bud. And so I think you are left with the questions that are an absolute torture when we are faced with this burden and this gift. Is today the day when I release Mira and my heart explodes? As hard as it is to let her go, will I feel even worse if her liver ruptures and she ends up suffering terribly when I could have prevented it?

Today may not yet be the day when you have those answers. And if not, then I know you will continue to surround Mira with love. Just as you have every day of her seven years in your care. At this point, I feel certain that there is nothing left unsaid. You've told her what a good girl she is, and how much you love her. You've told her that she is your pretty, pretty Mira. And so I do believe that Mira herself is ready for her release, either when God takes her or when the morning comes when your gift is to be given.

And we will stay here with you, Janis.

Marianne

Janis, I have not posted to you before, but have been closely following Kira's story. First of all, let me say how truly sorry I am about what is happening with Mira. I want to relate what happened to me a little over a month ago.

I had a little 15 1/2 year old Shih Tzu, Harley. Granted Harley was a little old man, he did have Cushing's, but was in pretty good health. He had had periodic eye infections due to his Cushing's. I knew his left eye was bothering him, so I finally got him into to the eye vet at the end of August. Yes, he had a bad left eye infection. I took him in for a recheck in early October. The vet is checking him, proceeds to ask me if I had seen "this". She lifts his lip on the upper left side of his jaw where I see a huge tumor on his upper jaw. I was absolutely speechless. I immediately made an appointment for his regular vet on Monday as I thought it was probably a very bad dental abscess. This was all on Thursday morning. I got up the next morning, found blood spray all over the side of bed where Harley sleeps. This is when I freaked out. I rushed him into his regular vet that afternoon, to make a long story short, that mass was some type of malignant tumor that had already spread to his lungs. The mass was not there when he first saw the eye vet 5 weeks earlier. This little boy had had a couple of periods of kind of "wheezy" breathing over that month & that was his only symptom. He was eating well for him, ( the world's pickiest eater), & just being normal. After I was called with the chest x-ray report that the malignancy was in his lungs, I was absolutely heartbroken & stricken with grief. I knew there was no other choice, so I released Harley to cross the bridge 4 days later. I'm glad I did what I had to do, because I find out later that Harley's situation was much worse than any of the vets or I were aware of. I'm not telling you what you should do. I think it's truly heartbreaking that Mira's life is being cut short, but as Jenny said, our pups live in the now. Mira is happy that you are here Mom, now. She doesn't know that she won't live out her expected lifespan. She doesn't think about what will happen tomorrow or a few days from now, that is the awful burden for our pup's humans to bear.

I hope you are able to find the strength & peace you need over the coming days.

Debbie

Hi Janis,

It has occurred to me that there is something I haven't shared with you and since I am currently experiencing this phenomenon myself, I thought you might be interested.

It's called "twitching" and it happens like this - we see something odd/different in our babies and immediately our minds start firing -


"What was THAT?!"
stare at dog....

"What does that MEAN?!"
stare at dog...

"It could mean A, or B, or OMG! even Z!!"
stare at dog...

"What do I DO?!"
stare at dog...

"omg omg omg!!!!!!!"


Not everyone is subject to this condition and some will experience a milder form. Then there are those who will start twitching at the least little provocation and rapidly twitch themselves into a frenzied state. For the uninitiated, this can be a disconcerting and frightening state to observe. Many people cannot handle a twitcher during a full blown episode, falling back in dismay, fearing what they do not comprehend, or being overcome with such a feeling of helplessness they simply watch and listen.

There are no known cures for this condition tho some "experts" hypothesize that receiving answers to the questions racing through the minds of the afflicted and/or accumulating knowledge and experience can treat the symptoms when they arise.

As one who suffers with this condition, all I can say to that is -

ppfffttttttttttttttttttttt

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BestBuddy

I hear you.

I do understand that you are having a really tough time but only you have the power.

I have been where you are and it is not easy but you have to consider Quality of life for Mira. That means eating, drinking, toileting and pain free BUT it also means pleasure. Is she happy and does she respond to patting and loving.

Eating she will eat about 2 to 4 cups a day still. She drinks lots of water and chicken broth sometimes. She only peed in the house the one time weeks ago. She wants out pretty often. She always askes. Her poop is pretty much liquid at times but i'm feeding her stuff that would easly do that to her. I've been giving her pepto now and then. Pain free? I didn't even know this dog had stage 4 cancer. I didn't have a clue. Pain? I have no idea!!! She gets lathargic and wobbly at times but that could be the Tramadol. Any odd thing she does can be explained as something else. I suspect pain is not real bad. Is she happy? Like she used to be? Not even close. But Mira has always had a sad look about her. Sometimes she growls when i touch her. Sometimes she moves away. (sob) Some times she lets me pet her. She still is following me everywhere. She always keeps herself in my line of view. Always. But just weeks ago I could rub the top of her head and her eyes would drift closed in contentment. Just weeks ago I could open my arms to her and she would come to me slightly waging with her head lowered and press her head against me and just stand there letting me rub her. THAT is gone! (sob)

What would you call her current state of mind???

Dogs are in the now and don't think about yesterday and how good it was or even tomorrow it is just now.

You are the only one who can help Mira whatever that turns out to be.

If it is not her time then just love her everyday.

Jenny

---

See bold text above...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by missbeagle

Janis -

We are all with you in spirit and we know this is such a difficult time for you.

Mira will let you know if/when it is time. She will make her own decision and she will find a way to let you know.

It might be they way she looks at you, or some other way. If she's eating, drinking, and getting around still, then it is not time yet.

Have you given her a peanut butter kong lately? Have you been taking pictures of her, of her with Kira, of you with her, of you and Bud with her? Pictures will help when she is gone.

But are they ever really gone? They linger in our hearts forever because a dog is pure love wrapped in fur.

((((Hugs))))

Gretchen in NC

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Peanut butter yes! Every day. Far too much. But it's her favorite thing. She almost comes running for it. We are on our second jar. I think it's my guide. Last night she only ate half of it. But she had eaten chicken before that.

Pictures? My gosh I have thousands I think. I'm currently taking probably 30 a day. I wish I could put them in my posts so you could see her current condition each day. She will have her own album when she's gone, just like all the rest that have passed. God showed me the Siberain Husky one day, I'll never forget it and I've wanted nothing else since.

I know it won't be long. She just lead me to the back door so she could go out. When she squates she is holding her left leg out father then the right. She just pooped pancakes. Her walk is abit wobbly, her hind end is getting bony. Much of that could be from the numerous differnt kinds of treats and foods. They said to feed her anything she wants... The tramadol makes her wobblie. But how much longer can I bare to see her this way. It's so damn sad. It seems worse late at night. She kept wanting to stay out side in the frezzing cold. Then this morning I snuck out to go get Kira's bp meds. When I got back Mira was at the back door waiting for me. Her bright eyes greeting me. I was so suprized. She lead me through the bedroom but turned to make a trip up to the head of the bed to say hello to her daddy. Her daddy said hello back. This was a first really in a way. Then we went into the kitchen and ate a little. I don't know.

Ok Can someone tell me how to copy/paste something I typed up in Word and have the formating stay intact?

I'm trying to expand on Kira's last test results for the records. But it keeps messing up the formating. You can see what I mean a few pages back.

Janis

I understand this is an incredibly hard position to be in...I would focus on the quality of life and the time she can spend with you in a reasonably healthy fashion. It's very hard to make that decision, but while she is up and about and enjoying herself with you, you don't have to.

It is never easy to let go, under any circumstances, I know that feeling. But follow your heart and you will know when she is ready.


Jeff & Angel Mandy

Well if there is one thing I'm good at it's following my heart. I gave Mira my dinner to night. She didn't eat much. She went outside and laid down and it started to rain. It going to be another long worrisome night.

Ok cute Mira story:
We like to get fast food and park at the train station and hope to see a train go by. We also watch airplanes while listening to the airport control tower. We of course take the dogs with us, they are so good laying in the back content as can be just to be with us. Horribly romantic if you ask me. Anyway, we stopped to get gas on the way home. I was driving so I started to get out of the car. Well Mira desided she wanted to come up to the front of the my car. Bud sitting in the passenger seat notices this and starts playfully chewing her out. "hey what do you think your doing?" I of course wait to make sure she complies. Mira stopped and looked at Bud yapping away at her, you could tell by his tone he was playing with her. Mira lifted her paw and smacked Bud right in the chest! We started cracking up. She gave him a good swat as if to say "shut up! You always tell me to shut up. You shut up!"

The ramblings of a heart broken mom...

Man: "ours is but to wonder why" that has brought us to reason

Dog: "ours is only what is" no yesterday, no tomorrow? Dogs don't remember? Dogs don't anticipate? Dogs don't remember how to sit on command? Or when you put the bag full of doggy stuff along side bags of human stuff don't dogs anticipate getting to go somewhere with you? Don't they patiently await the moment you say ok let's go? Mine sure do. No Mira doesn't know she is going to be robbed of half her life. But I sure do. I know I'm being robbed of half her life. I will never forget that. She doesn't know she's going to die. Ok maybe dogs only associate. That could explain a lot I supose.

The teachers are representing you so badly, that none of them can see you. Let not another search be made in vain. Let not another child be slain.



It was a good point though. Well worth thinking about along with everything else anyone says here.

HA! Dogs are so funny at times and often smarter than we think. Mandy was a horrible passenger in the car, but she did love it, nonetheless. Talking about anticipation, when she was little, my Mom used to like to take her to Dairy Queen...she knew when she got there that she'd get a little kid-sized cup of soft vanilla. She loved it!

It's the happy times you'll need to remember...and they will make you smile.


Jeff & Angel Mandy

Hi Janis,

Thinking of you and your beautiful girls today. How is our Mira doing? How are YOU doing?

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

I don't know but Mira looks plenty peaceful at the moment to me! She's been laying there belly up for at least an hour. I held back on the prednisone and that labored panting stopped. I gave her only a tiny bit of the pain med at midnight. She sure doesn't look like she's in pain to me right now. Hopefully I'll get the next four med combinations right thru the day right and we'll have a happy thanksgiving.

Taken at 5am 11/25
http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/pict...pictureid=2084

She even ate a little bit of canned dog food a bit ago. Wish she would quit coughing. I should go buy a turkey! I think Kira, Mira and Bud would like that.

Hi Janis,

Mira certainly looks happy in that pic! Content as a bug in a rug! ;):D I hope this day is full of contentment and peace for you, your girls, and Bud...with or without turkey! :)

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

I was in the kitchen cleaning up the thanksgiving dinner mess. Bud hollered... I let Mira out. I know I just saw her go by the window. Oh god she's heading toward the planter. No running, jumping or playing. Her liver could rupture. I fought down the want to run after her. Jumping up in the planter and investigating the bushes was her favorite thing to do. Well If she should hurt herself and died, at least she died doing something she loved. So I keep cleaning up thinking about what I'd feel if I saw her out there struggling. God. I moved toward the sink to rinse off more dishes and this is what I saw when I looked out the window.
http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/pict...pictureid=2086
Mira laying on the cool cement peering in the kitchen window watching for me.
I'm going to miss her.

awwww....how sweet is that!

very cute pix :)

I always wonder if the dogs KNOW it is a holiday? Or, do they think..."hey, these guys are nuts today and are giving me all kinds of good stuff!!"

Jeff & Angel Mandy

Probably the later Jeff lol. They probably don't understand us any better then we do them.

She doesn't want turkey today she wants peanut butter AGAIN! and to be out in the freezing cold. Her nose is twitching, sniffing. But her eyes are fixed on the open door waiting for mom to come in view again. The peanut butter forgotten. But at least she's not panting like she was a little bit ago. I think the meds give her hot flashes. Shell be laying quietly then start panting non stop. It doesn't look good. Geez I just put my iPhone down to go find my iPhone to take a picture. I'm in great shape eh? Hopefully I'll talk to her cancer dr soon. We have an apointment at 3 but I don't think we'll keep it. I don't want to chance the bouncy car ride.

http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/pict...pictureid=2087

We are not having a good night

Janis -

My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight.....from the East coast.

Hang in there honey. You are loving her every day and doing the best you can.

Gretchen and Rusty in NC

I think she is suffering

She was coughing and coughing Coughed up some white stuff. Looks like she's resting now. I'm a mess. Hyperventalting.

Sweet baby 7 year old Mira is gone. Me and 10 year old Kira go take walk.

Oh Janis. I am so sorry. I so wish I could truly hug you. Mira will never suffer again. But your suffering is not over. How I wish I could change that for you. Thank you for sharing your precious baby girl with us. We will never forget her, Janis. She will always be remembered and honored here. She will always be part of our family.

My heart is with you on this sad morning. Sending you many hugs across the miles.
Marianne

Tissue Alert....

Tribute To A Best Friend

Sunlight streams through window pane onto a spot on the floor...then I remember,it's where you used to lie,but now you are no more.

Our feet walk down a hall of carpet and muted echoes sound....then I remember, it's where your paws would joyously abound

A voice is heard along the road,and up beyond the hill then I remember it can't be yours....your golden voice is still.

But I'll take that vacant spot of floor and empty muted hall and lay them with the absent voice and unused dish along the wall

I'll wrap these treasured memorials in a blanket of my love and keep them for my best friend until we meet above.

Author Unknown

Oh Janis,

Mira is free this morning - free from her pain, free from her damaged body. But her spirit will always walk with you, every step of your life, shining her love on your heart as you did hers.

Hold the memories of the good times with sweet Mira close in your heart always. Let them warm your soul and sooth your broken heart.

One day, Janis, one day, when our jobs here on this plane are finished, we will hold our babies in our arms once again and smother their faces with kisses, never to be parted. Until then, know that your sweet Mira is watching over you, with you always even tho you can no longer touch her as you once did.

If I could take away your pain today, I would. Since that isn't possible, I hope it helps to lessen your burden to know that my tears are falling with yours, my heart aches with yours, and that many others here are sharing in your anguish.

Our deepest sympathies,
Leslie, Squirt, Trinket and our Angels, Ruby and Crystal

I AM NOT THERE
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

Various sources attribute this poem to the one of the following authors:
(A) Mary Frye
(B) Joyce Fossen
(C) An unknown member of the Hobi Native American Tribe

I let her go too soon. I hate myself

I'm so sorry little Mira. I need bed buddy

She was having bad coughing spells. We were jamming stuff down *her throut *she was Coughing up stuff. *T got scared. She was walking eating bright eyes. I too let her go too soon. *The sweet little girl who wanted nothing other then me. I got scared. I hate myself. I let her go took soon.

I'm here, Janis. Keep talking, honey, keep talking....

Janis, try to hate the disease and not yourself. Hate the tumor that grew far too soon in your baby girl and robbed her of her life. Hate the tumor that was choking her and that would have burst one day or another. Today or tomorrow or the next day.

Remember Mira's bright eyes. You released her while her eyes were still bright and before they clouded with pain that you would not have been able to stop.

Janis, try not to hate yourself. It is hard. But please try.

Marianne

Janis, I am so sorry and there is nothing I can say that will take away the pain. You gave Mira a wonderful 7 yrs and you did everything you possibly could for her. You spared her of pain and you did that out of love and concern for her. So please don't be hard on yourself. Hugs, Kim

Dear Janis,
I am so very sorry for your loss of Mira. I wish there were words to ease your pain but I know that there are none.

I know that asking you not to blame yourself will not help. Please know that you gave Mira the greatest gift one can give a loved one. This is a quote that I have heard from Sue....But to take the Pain away from Mira and make it your own is the greatest gift you could have ever given her.

Please take heart in knowing that you have taken the burden of her pain and suffering and made it yours. That is the meaning of true love. I share in your tears and heartache.

Rest in Peace Sweet Mira, You are now our newest and brightest star in the sky.

(((HUGS)))

Oh Janis,

I am terribly sorry to hear that Mira has passed. I am sure she knew how much you loved her. Hers was a life too short, but with the company of someone who adored her. She is no longer in pain and running and romping with the rest of the furbabies in doggie heaven.
Maybe she will bump into my Mandy and they'll have a run about...:o
Mandy always liked the big doggies and the little kitties..

Jeff & Angel Mandy

I'm sorry to hear about Mira, Janis. I know this is a very difficult time for you. Take comfort in knowing that Mira is now in a better place, where she is free from pain and is no longer suffering.

Terri

FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.

In Memory of Asta, Feb. 1997
(c) Karen Clouston

I cry with you, my heart aches with yours, if I could take away your burden of guillt, I would.

It is always too soon for us, it will never be the right time for us.

Words cannot ease the pain or erase the guilt. Only time can heal us.

I am so truly sorry. Thank you for sharing your sweet Mira with us durring such a difficult time. Thank you for letting us into your life.

I am proud to know you.

Love,
Addy