Mira, 7yr old Husky - Cushings ruled out; liver cancer (Mira has passed)

Sounds like you went to the Advanced Critical Care Center in Tustin. That is one stop shopping in that big complex. I was there two weeks ago with a rescue who had orthopedic surgery done at the surgical center there and my brother's dog is treating at the cancer center. You would not have had far to go to talk to an oncologist.

I'm glad that Mira is still taking treats. The question is are you? :D

I gave her a pain pill. She went down to her possuim hunting area a few minutes ago and stood looking around. If I wasn't so muddle headed I might share something of interest.

Why is it I don't see your posts until later? Why do take this so hard? Why is she whimpering? I'm right here with her. I don't know why she cries. What does she want? I'm just no good at this? I don't know what she wants? She woke me up with a squeaky quiet cry? What does she want? I pet her gently she cries. And I cry. I went outside with her. Still she whimpers. I give her some can food. She likes that. But still ,,,, she cried louder. I gave her another pill way to earily. I'm in tears I don't know what she wants. Her high pitch squeak. Gentle squeak. Soft pant. What does she want? Maybe she wants to just feel better. Maybe she wants me stop coming apart. It doesn't seem like pain what is it? Love? Resting now maybe the pill is working. It seems like that sad whine they get from being put out. Its killing me.

Yes we were there (damn I cant see your last post lulu I can't remember your name or exactly what you said) advanced critical care in Tustin California. You are so close. We live in Orange. We had Kiras knees fixed at VSS there in May. Kodi died there in ... She's whimper again, soft whimpering it kills me. Will she get better? Does she just hurt from the biopsy? Big hole in belly. She is very sensitive. Whimpering stopped again. It does not seem like pain. But Christ I didn't know she had cancer. Squeaking softly. What does she want? My other dog is squeaking too and panting. I feel helpless. My husband is mad at me. I'm crying too much. I'd give her anything she wants but I don't know what see wants. The end always comes like this. Is this the end? She has gas. Squeaking turned away from me. I write all this so you know what is happening. Squeaking breathing a little harder panting now. I'm going to pet her now. But I think she feel back a little. She's been doing that. Flopping down instead of lying down slowly. Is she lossing stregth. You all must think I'm crazy but she is my child. And she can't talk to me. Sorry I'm not going to edit this one. I write horrible I know.

Don't pet her I think she might be sleeping. Sit still don't wake her. God this is so unfair.

I wish I could take the pain away from both you and your furry beauty. I would be the same way. You are wise to let her rest up. Continue to be there for her and love her. It is the best medicine there is. You will be in my thoughts and prayers all day.

Sending hugs, strength and love, Kim

My thoughts and prayers for the best possible outcome are with you and Mira.

Sending cyber (((Hugs)))

Oh Janis, I too, wish there was more I could do for you and sweet Mira. We are here for you, we do not think you are crazy, we fully understand the love and devotion you feel for Mira.

You and Mira are in my thoughts and prayer as well.

Love and (((hugs)))
Lori

Oh Janis, I am so sorry for what you and Mira are going through. But we are here for you to lean on so that you can be there for Mira. You can say whatever you want to us. Do not worry at all about how it sounds. And that way you'll be free to tell Mira how much you love her and what a good girl she is.

With continuing prayers and hugs,
Marianne

Hey Janis,

First, some techie stuff (and that's a JOKE from me! ;) ) When you hit reply and this box comes up to write in, it looks as if that is all that is on the page. But if you will scroll down you will be able to see the most recent replies on your thread. If you need to see more of your thread, then at the very bottom you will see this:

"This thread has more than 10 replies. Click here to review the whole thread."

Go to the bottom to this statement and click on the word "here" and your whole thread will be available. At the top of your thread to the right you will find how many pages are in your thread, too.

Ok, now, how to recognize when Mira is in pain. Dogs are so stoic, not showing any signs of discomfort until the pain reaches a level that would probably put me in the hospital! Unfortunately, cancer is an incredibly painful disease, especially in the final stages. Here are some signs of canine pain:

Quote:

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http://www.petplace.com/dogs/pain-in-dogs/page2.aspx

• Manifestations of pain are highly variable in animals. Some signs are obviously related to pain, while others are more subtle. The individual personality
of the animal and its tolerance for pain also affect the clinical manifestations of pain. Animals in pain often present with a wide variety of signs. Some signs that are associated with pain include the following:
• Altered behavior – quieter than normal, avoidance of other animals or people, hiding, aggressive behavior, fear biting, mental dullness and depression, agitation, restlessness, pacing
• Altered movement or gait – lameness, reluctance to move, reluctance to get up, wobbliness, abnormal carriage or use of one or more legs, stiffness
• Vocalization – growling, howling, yipping, moaning, groaning
• Decreased or lack of appetite (anorexia)
• Increased respiratory rate
• Increased heart rate
• Shock, collapse

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Some links to canine cancer forums (but that doesn't mean you can leave us ;) )

http://www.dogcancercare.com/

http://www.cancercompass.com/message...,0,119,145.htm

This link seems to have some good info in several areas concerning canine cancer, including vets, financial aid plus a forum for discussion.

http://www.fightcaninecancer.com/cancerresources.html

Ok...now for the hard part...you. I can only imagine how you are feeling; I know how I would be feeling in your shoes and it would be the road to insanity for me. And I would hope someone out there would at least try to reach through my grief so I could be there for my baby. That is what I am going to try to do for you.

Somehow, someway, you have got to get a grip for Mira's sake. Whether she has one day or one year left with you, you have to be the strong one for her. That breathing I told you about earlier...it's even more important now. Our babies pick up on our moods so easily and when Mira senses your distress, that increases hers. She needs to feel safe especially now; she needs to know that, no matter what, her mom is going to be her rock; she needs to know that when she needs you, you are there 100%. You have to put your fear, your pain, your grief in a closet and lock the door for now. Will you be able to do this? Of course not. But the point is that you must try, and try very hard for Mira's sake.

When it is simply too much, then go somewhere by yourself and let it all out - scream, cry, cuss, whatever it takes to ease the pressure a bit so you can carry on, so you can fight with her and for her. And do something good for yourself every now and then. She needs you now more than she ever has. We can help with this for sure - vent to us, cry with us, write long incoherent posts...we don't care, honey, and we do understand so you are safe with us. Let us see your pain, but let Mira see your strength.

Honey, we are with you every second of every day, lending your our strength and hope, holding your hand, and lifting you up.

Sending prayers, healing white light, hugs and belly rubs,
Leslie and the girls - always

She has been quiet for maybe a half hour. I thought she might be sleeping but she just flopped over on her back. I like to see her belly up it looks so relaxed. Her bare belly looks so pink it's amost red. I guess that's good. Her promonate chest is bouncing from her heart beating.

Maybe I'll get exhausted soon and be able to sleep. Mira, my bed buddy, normally sleeps well when I do. But at the moment if I stop the crying will sent in again. I have looking up facts on Tramadol.

I guess the vet might call soon. I have a list of questions. She is the sweetest woman. I had a new list yesterday I was having trouble reading it. My contacts had all fogged up from crying. She leaned over and helped me read my list. When she told me the news she strated with a couple good things then brushed over the liver thing for a moment. I'm terrified did she say what I think she did? She moves on to something else. Then goes back to the liver yup what she's saying now is the samething. She stands up and faces me and holds her hands in a football shape and says one of them is this big. I'm not saying anything. I fighting tears. She sits beside me again and says I've never seen anything that looks like this and not be cancer. Three masses in the liver and one is the size of a football. She looks in my eyes and can see I understand. She asks if I'm ok and I just shake my head no and start to cry. She sends in someone who explains what further test can be done. I'm only hearing bits and pieces. Finally I just said do all the ones that look for more cancer and her leg i want her to walk. And the biopsy. Hours later my husband is there no too sitting in the parking lot with me. My phone rings. I don't recognize the number I don't answer but I did look the number up. Damn it it was them! I frantically play back the message DANMED IPHONE! message playback you can hardly heard it. I think she said she found another mass. I'm out of the car and waiting to find out. She is busy busy I (we) had to wait a long time. She takes us back and showed us the xray. I started to feel sick. A snowy patch about the size of my hand on the chest wall behind her heart. Behind us in a cage I can hear Mira crying. I cringe at every sound. I said Mira. The vet says I don't think that's Mira. I said yes it is. So she calls over to someone and asks if that was Mira. Someone confirmed it was. I think they gave her more meds then. So now we will include a Biopsy of this one too. By the time we got back to the car I thought I would throwup. After Bud left I sat there until 4 then I went in the office. I snuck into the back around the corner and sat in a chair. A dozen people going in and out of where Mira is. Mira is not crying I'm not in the way, I stay there. Had she been crying you couldnt have stopped me from going to her. I get noticed a lot. Busy busy workers. One peron asked if I had been helped. I was o viosly crying. I just pointed to the room she was in and said Mira not crying. As if I was ok with that. They let me stay there. About a half hour later they asked if I'd like to sit in a room with Mira for awhile. I was so greatfull. She put me in a spot clean examining room it all looks new there. She puts a thick blanket on the floor. And about five minutes later here comes Mira. Looking right as rain considering. I sat on the floor with her. I felt relaxed then. There were maybe twenty people there to save us. I dont think i cryed at all then. About an hour later as promised they began to discharge Mira. The doctor found me walking Mira outside. We went in and that's when she helped with my questions. Then she took my paper and typed it all up with her answers in case I forgot or didn't understand. About ten questions I had typed up at lightening speed. I already mentioned the cost and you know it seemed like nothing at all They erned every penny of it. Oddly I didn't want to lea... the phone is ringing god! Panic! Is it her? I'm not ready to talk to her. Whoever hungup thank god. I need to get ready. How long does Mira have? How will I ever get those words out? I'm terrified. Another blow is coming today. Maybe I'll start to feel tired and sleep though the call. And wait til tomorrow. Not likely. I'll jump out of my skin if the phone rings. The ring like an electric shock will wake me up. Today's vertict as fightening as yesterdays.