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Vicki:
Can't stop thinking of you and Scoop. God Bless you both. I know this is one of the most trying times of your life Vicki. You are doing wonderful, and I am here to support you. I love what Leslie posted to you. I think that is also how I feel about Tipper, but could not articulate it. There was a lot of wisdom behind that posting, that I too will keep in my mind. Please give Scoop a hug from Tipper and I. I wish I could take away your pain. God Bless you both.
Patti
thinking of you..............thinking of your darling scoop. Leslie wrote it out well.....she spoke straight from her very soul, I too want nothing more or less than for my girl and i to take our final beat of our hearts together...to lay down and awake in heaven in perfect health and mind together forever.
You know your baby better than anyone........listen to scoop....he will give you direction....if different than what your heart is leading.....bond this with scoop....open your heart, and perhaps there will be a way to know where when and what to do. Regardless this part of the journey may be difficult....as you already know......I get the air knocked out of me at the thought of not being with my girls........i seriously nearly drop and cant breathe. I will fight fight fight and lay my life down in less than a heart beat for them, a mommas heart is like that you know. Couple years ago...i lost a my highschool best friend. she fought a courageous battle of breast cancer.....she was wife, mother of two, and daughter and sister. her mom was by her side.....her mom by the side of her child after years of watching her daughter endure and fight....my friend said to her mother.....mom....i am tried....is it okay to go now?......her mom didnt want to tell yes......but she knew she loved her so much....she had to say yes.............a mothers heart knows the heart of her babies best, it knows how to listen, I had a pug named Beau. My little boy. He was 13 1/2 years old when he told me goodbye. He was blind, deaf, no teeth, struggled with some breathing, didnt want him to fall on tiles and not be able to get up type thing, I knew he was not doing so good, of course worried out of my mind, one morning, it was crystal clear, he let me know, it was time for me to let go, he had watched over me every single day, gave me more care and love it was amazing, you will know to continue and pursue the fight, or to hold back from the battle, your like me somewhat perhaps...i am all in full throttle will do what ever i need to do to save my baby...until they say mom i am tried is it okay if i go now, until then, love and embrace every single moment.
Vicki:
I know how you must be feeling. I am praying for you and Scoop that you may find your way through this. God Bless You Both.
Patti
hmmmmm, stopping by to see how you and scoop are..........has anyone heard from her????
I was just on here typing away and it went away on me so here it goes again.
Thank you for all your kind words. Your posts are so touching and from the heart. I was here last week and read them and just couldn't come back till now. It has been so hard. I am struggling so much. I just don't know what's right and what's not. I have been in touch with the doctor from the Cyberknife. I have always had a hard time making decisions. This one is for the life of my Scoop and I am struggling so much. I feel like my heart is going to pop right out of my chest. I want to feel like I gave Scoop all the chances I could but I don't want to hurt him. I just love him so much my heart is breaking. Please God give me strength and guidance.
Vicki:
God help you and Scoop. This has to be the most heart wrenching time in your life. I am trying to put things in God's hands at this point, and I am asking him for mercy on all these babies suffering from this disease. I know what it is to get to the point that you don't know what is right. It is very difficult to love your dog so much that you don't know which way to turn. I have to get myself and Tipper thru this week. It will be a challenge. I have you and Scoop in my heart, and will be thinking of you every minute. May God give you the strength to carry on.
Patti
Vicki, it is so good to hear from you again, and I am sending you so many hugs this morning!!! But I am just going to talk to you for a moment from my head now as opposed to my heart. I know you said earlier how extremely expensive the cyberknife procedure would be, and I know what a burden that would be for you and your family. So please be sure to get these questions answered before making your decision.
Do they expect that the tumor will again regrow at some point after the procedure? If so, how long a time would Scoop get relief before neurological symptoms might return again?
Do they expect that the procedure will eliminate the need for Cushing's treatment, or will Scoop still need to continue to take his trilostane as he has been doing?
I do think these are really important answers for you to know before you make a decision. With conventional radiation, the tumor reduction is typically not permanent nor does it necessarily provide relief from Cushing's other than the neurological abnormalities. I do not know whether the results are different with the cyberknife, so I think it is important for you to find out before you make your decision.
Marianne
Dear Vicki,
There is no doubt in my mind you will always do what is right for Scoop, just as you have done right by him so far. And you are the only one who knows what is best for him. Talk to the experts, listen to what they have to say with an open mind then take that information and let your heart be your guide. There are no "wrong" decisions when those decisions are made out of love for Scoop. Your sweet boy trusts you in every way and he knows you would never harm him. You are a great mom, Vicki. Don't let anything make you think differently.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please feel free to talk to me anytime in private if you wish. I have no answers but I do understand what you are feeling - the confusion, the anguish, the guilt, the abject fear. Many of us understand and we are here for you anytime. Remember, you are not alone, never alone.
Many hugs and belly rubs,
Leslie and the gang
Marianne, Thanks. Those are some questions I would like answered along with some others. I wondered if the tumor was smaller would Scoop's diabetes be better? Would he not have protein in the urine? Would he not have to be on so many meds? All those things that have come up since he was diagnosed with Cushing's. It would be worth all the money in the world to me to see Scoop have some time left where he wouldn't want to sleep most of the day, not have to take so many pills, etc. Just to feel better. How can one stinkin disease cause so many problems for one dog and nothing for others? Months ago when I asked my husband about radiation what he said was, no, you're just delaying the inevitable. When the IMS asked if anyone talked to me about radiation I told her what my husband said. She said, isn't that what we are all doing? So my mind is all over the place. I just feel like I am being torn apart.
Leslie, Thank you. I'll keep your offer in mind.
You all are such wonderful, caring friends.