Zoe By My Side- Our Journey with Cushings

Susan, how wonderful to hear from you. Cruising the Seas for Christmas sounds divine, dear friend. I know what you mean about no more grand Christmas trees and celebrations, Imstruggling with that this year. I wasn't ready, I think. Another loss as we get older.

I'm glad Ellen and Ryan will be able to celebrate with you before you leave for Florida. Hubby keeps looking at condos there but my mom is is on her eight or ninth life, you are so right. This transport van has given that to her, the change is amazing. The care staff told me she is here because of me, I dont think I should take that credit. The director was talking hospice and then I found this transport van and the ball game changed. She will be 92 in March. My brother and sister in law can't understand why I keep trying, they refuse to take her out,
but the battle for me is like Zoe, I try and fight until they tell me no more.

Send the pink bubble wrap to my hubby, he has acute sciatica ans will have an MRI Tuesday. He can't walk, sit or lie down, it has been one heck of a week!

I did not know you fell, I hope you really are better now. Be careful you don't fall on the boat!

Kisses to you and Bailey. Koko is attached to my side as well. We are so blessed to have them.

Merry Chrustmas Sus, I love you too.

We stopped doing the grand tree, okay, so we do the tree, but we just don't have it stuffed with as many gifts and all in recent years, but with a new little grandbaby on the way I have a feeling that we'll be back to all out for christmas in no time. Never say never, if and when Ryan you have a grandkids that want to be at grandma's and grandpas for christmas, you might be putting that tree up again in Florida this time. LOL Never know what the future holds but for now enjoy the cruising the high seas life and every adventure that comes your way. I bet it will be wonderful!

How wonderful that your mom has perked up now with being able to travel again Addy. What I wouldn't give to still have my mom and dad around to just say hello to again. I can see why you won't give up, you aren't that person. You're the one who will be there through thick and thin and make every moment as wonderful as possible. I like that person btw. It's not everyone cup of tea as they say but those that it is, they are this worlds angels.

Big hugs, love

Thank you, Sharlene, it is hard to juggle it all. I think with a new grandchild on the way, Chrustmas will change in a BIG way a at your house :D, aww the memories of Christmas Past.:) Grandchildren are such a gift.

And my gift comes home next week, I hate to see my luggage:p:rolleyes:

Kate should be home now. Hope she enjoyed her trip, minus the scares she went though in Paris.

We just went to BC last weekend for our other grandsons birthday. Great time.

Yowser, it is already changing things as we are all now baby focused here. LOL It will be fun to have a gift so close by! :)

hugs, hope you are enjoying the holiday season!

Hey Shalene, she came home Friday night. I held onto her for a good five minutes, could not let go. Cried myself to sleep, tears of relief, such a wave of relief swept through me, Idid not realize I was holding all that in. She flew Spain to Charles De Gaulle to Chicago. I knew the odds of something happening to the plane were zip but I still was a nervous illogical nervous wreck.

Grandkids are sooooo much fun. You have so much to look forward to, they are such a gift. Enjoy as much as you can, savor every minute of planning and when the baby arrives, yahoo:D:D

Hubby is still out of commission with his back. He started on Gabapentin, funny because I knew all the drugs the specialist discussed only because of dogs!

What an education from the forum.:p:p:p

Happy, Merry, Ho, Ho, Ho

Oh that is funny about the meds for your hubby's back. It's true, that things come up in general and I'll just throw something out because it comes up on the forum here. Amazing what we learn on here.

I hope you had a good Christmas.

Think we might even be getting winter heading this way soon. eek

Hugs

Dearest Zoe,
I somehow lost myself after your brother Koko passed away. With neither one of you here, I could not cope. I tried to adopt a Zoey with a y a rescue dog from Texas a Lhasa, she reminded me so much of you. But the rescue group was not up front with me. I told them I did not want a sick dog and she came home and all we did was go to the vet every day; bloody poos, would not eat, tried to bite me. After a lengthy conversation with the vet and she explained the long road ahead, I realized I could not do it. I kept Koko going until it was no longer fair to him. Daddy needed him. And now I came here to your place and I am reading your whole thread. I realize why I could not do another Zoey with a y. I simply could not give of myself that much to try to make her well. Especially after what I went through the last year of Koko's life. Zoe, he was almost 17 years old. I only had 7 years with you. I had 15 years with him. You would have been so proud of your brother. You taught him well. But his death was worse than yours for me. It was different in so many ways.

Daddy is very ill. He had to have his left leg amputated above the knee from a blood clot. He had to have a catheter put in after the operation as his bladder would not work and they don't know why. He has two aneurysms that also have to be fixed. Daddy is 84 now and is not the same. My last rock, whom I drew my strength from. He is having a procedure Thursday and I thought if I came to you I would find my strength one more time.

ZoZoe, what we went through together. I don't know how you did it or how I did it. I let you go free that night. I knew you would keep fighting for me and I could not ask you too any more.

What a love and bond we shared. Losing you was hard but losing your brother was harder. It was an end of an era, of a life I loved and cherished.

So here we are again Zoe. I don't know what will happen to daddy. He can't accept what is happening to him. He is very frightened.

I will finish your thread before his surgery Thursday. I understand now why Zoey with a y had to go to another home. I could not do your life again.

Oh the support of all my dear, dear friends. What a bond we also shared. How grateful I am to all of them. Some still here. all the years of dedication. It was too painful for me to stay on but I loved and remembered everyone. We laughed, we loved, we held each other up and never judged. We celebrated good poos and good stems. We stayed up at night when we lost a pup. Always there for each other.

Zozo, my love, the most beautiful dog I have ever seen. I walked each thread with you one more time. To find your journey again and find my strength. Daddy needs me. But this one, this is very difficult. Because this time, I am truly on my own.
The thing is I don't trust this doctor or his staff. It could be he is a decent guy but his staff is not. So when I need to advocate I have to get stern and Daddy doesn't want to hear about the procedure or the staffing inconsistencies regarding conveying important information. So he thinks he is handing it but yet he makes me make the phone calls. So I find myself between a rock and a hard place. As you well know, I don't do well with incompetent people in the medical profession. I can't vent to daddy, it upsets him so. He is not himself. I am not sure he ever will be. Though my darling, we waited 18 years to see a Lhasa win best in show and this year a beauty won. That day I saw Daddy as he used to be. He loved you so.

So here I am rambling on and on to you. I usually post In Loving Memory but this one time, I had to come to where it all started.
I had to come home to you.

Love you to the moon and back. My Zoe, my beautiful little girl.
Mama

Dearest Addy, I am here. Upon reading your post, there are so many memories awakened in my mind and so many feelings reawakened in my heart. I am guessing you may want your post to be the final one here in Zoe’s thread. If so, just let me know and I will remove this reply of mine. But first I wanted to make sure you know that you are not alone. And that precious Zoe and Koko and the lives that you shared will always be honored here, never to be forgotten.

I am so sorry about the struggles you are facing with your husband. I will be thinking of you both on Thursday, and surely hoping for the best possible outcome. My heart resonates with your losses, as I find myself on a similar path as time advances and loved ones physically leave me. Life can be so hard. But I do believe that love is forever. Love is a rose.

So I send my love to you, dear friend. Along with all my hopes for strength and comfort in the days to come.
Marianne

Dear Marianne,

Thank you so much for your kind words. So many memories, so many changes. It has helped me to relive our life here where it all played out in real time. I do not want you to delete your post, I think it fitting your words should be here too.

I pray hubby makes it through the many challenges he faces. I don't know what the future holds for us. I guess that is ok as today he sits quietly in his chair making out a grocery list. He misses that most, he always did the grocery shopping and loved doing it. He knew everyone at the stores. He gets mad at me as he thinks Im not good at it. I'm not. He did it for 37 years.

I hold you so dear, your voice of truth and reason, love and compassion for all of Zoe's battles. No, I don't need my post to be the last word. Thank you for asking.

I am sorry to hear of losses in your family. Life can be very hard but as you say, love is forever.

As Jeanette would have said "tight hugs".

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As Jeanette would have said "tight hugs".

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Awwwww Addy, that brings a lump to my throat. So many memories flood back from those times, when so many kind folks were here. I miss those times so much. Not the sad, hard things that happened. But the support and the friendship. It meant so much to me, that’s for sure. And I’ll never forget it. I’ll always carry it with me.

I so hope Jeannette is doing well. And everybody else who helped make our loads lighter — and brought smiles and chocolate when we needed it!

Again, I’ll be thinking of you and your hubby tomorrow. And if I could be setting a casserole (and chocolate) on your doorstep tonight, I’d surely be doing so…