Squirt - my Queen has crossed The Bridge

Sas...as the others have said, all I can add is ...Wow! Exactly how we all feel! It couldn't have been put better.

Leslie, thinking of you.

Hugs, Jo Ann and Eli

Absolutely beautiful. <3

Dear Leslie,

I have not been here in awhile and I was shocked and saddened to learn of Squirt's passing. There are certain people and their beloved dogs that, over the years, I have come to expect are, and will always be, here. Of course, you and Squirt are among them. I am so terribly, terribly sorry to read of your loss. You were so brave in doing the best for Squirt in the end. I am so sorry it was more difficult than anyone would expect. You are right, though, it could have been much worse and you did all you could to protect Squirt and spare her of pain.

I loved reading Squirt's story. Seems like very often fate brings us our "heart" dog. Alivia also came to me when I was not looking for a dog. Funny how that happens. The grieving process is a strange thing. Just be good to yourself and know that there are so many here that love you both and care. With Squirt, Zoe and Alivia there, the Rainbow Bridge will NEVER be the same!

Sending you hugs.

Leslie:
Thinking of you and hoping you are taking care of yourself. I know how far you are down in that deep dark hole, and I am worried about you. Some people don't realize it is like losing a person. Some people live with their dogs longer than they do people. Blessings
Patti

Thinking of you Leslie, sending you prayers of love healing and peace.

Hey Leslie, checking in on you and hope that you are doing okay and treating yourself well.

hugs and love
Sharlene and molly muffin

Leslie:
I saw bad storms down south and was thinking of you and how Squirt was not exactly fond of them either. Tipper is on high alert with her little ears moving like antennae at the slightest sound. Her bp was high today when they took it as she was already worked up. This has been a bad season already for this and bad timing for Tipper altogether. Hope you are taking care of yourself, and hope the babies are well. Blessings
Patti

So very truly sorry Leslie, for your loss of beautiful little Squirt's daily companionship. Your precious angel Squirt now watches over you with great love and gratitude. Your story of your beginning together was heart-warming and inspirational. Wishes of much comfort and healing to your hearts upon your loss. Thank you for saving adorable Squirt as a puppy, and loving her with such true devotion. Hugs to you and again my condolences.

Checking in on you gf! Sending hugs and comfort your way. Hope the days are easier to face and your pain lessens.

Skipping stones on water –

You select some small smooth flat stones then fling them one at a time like a teeny Frisbee toward the surface of the water, the goal being to cause the stone to skip across the stop of the water. As stone hits the water for the first time, it depresses the surface of the water a tiny bit creating a small splash and a ring of minute waves spreading out from the point of contact. As the force pulls the stone up and it becomes air-borne again, water drips from the wet stone onto the surface below, creating series of teeny splashes and concentric over-lapping rings until the stone again briefly touches the surface, another splash more rings, then in the air once again skipping toward the next point of contact. Because the stone is moving forward across the water, in addition to the splashes and rings it leaves a V-shaped pattern behind as it moves on.

Sometimes the stone will skip twice then sink but sometimes it will make contact 10 times or more. Some stones will gradually slow as they travel leaving less and less impact in their wake while others seem to bounce with the same force until the sink. And some never skip, immediately sinking into the water as if that were the intent.

This is the pattern of my grief.

One stone, one event, at times not only spreading through my Soul in waves of unbelievable pain, but this one stone, this one event, reaches back and revives other losses, other agonies.

I’ve been sitting by my dad’s hospital bed as they unhooked the machines that were keeping him alive, holding his hand, telling him it was ok, that we would be alright. I’ve heard that early morning phone call telling me Gia had died suddenly, unexpectedly, and heard myself screaming, “no no no no…” I’ve held my mom’s hand, seen her emaciated shell struggling for that next breath. I’ve heard the thud and seen Crys dragging her shattered body up the drive. I’ve held Tasha and Josie and so many others in their last breaths. I’ve relived the passings of all my babies.

I feel so empty. I miss my Sweet Bebe so so much I can barely breath at times.

Leslie:
This just cut me to the quick reading your post. I know of what you are writing, because I would be the same way, and after 16 years it so devastating to be without your sweet Squirt. I really don't know how you have made it this far. I crumble into a melted pile every time I think of this happening to my girl. You have suffered too many losses, as we both have that in common, and I feel for you. It is like I said in one of my posts. It is like post traumatic stress disorder. I read about it somewhere that when you have had a lot of death in a short period of time it does something to you like what I mentioned. I feel so bad for you going thru all this on your own. I wish I lived near you so I could try some how to ease your pain a bit. You know I will never be able to get used to the idea of Squirt being gone either. She was a constant beacon of hope that just maybe my Tipper could reach 16 because Squirt went over many hurdles, she was just something permanent that I always looked forward to hearing about her cute antics. It has left a huge emptiness when I sign on here. I know this is a pain like no other that your are having. I pray for you to come thru this as I have always admired your strength. Blessings
Patti

hugs and love Leslie!

Sharlene and molly muffin

I feared as much dear Leslie. I knew it could not be different for you; that losing Squirt would bring back all the memories.
I have no words of wisdom. Just know I care.

Leslie, that's how it is with me. Each new loss revives memories of all of the previous losses.

I'm so sorry honey. HUGS from Daisy and I.

Oh, dear Leslie. I so wish we could take the pain away.
Hugs

((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Our dearest Leslie. You have been thru far more then anyone should have ever had too. I wonder what it was like when the Black plague struck. Dogs, people and all living things die. But being so close at the time of death is such a noble and brave act. Me? I drop the leash and run. Ill never forgive myself for that. Then there are those who see it in a totally different way. The hospus angels. Leslie you are the one who holds the hand of the dying. The one who loves eternal. So much sadness that feeling inside. That giant whole almost Serene the empty place. Then you look to your side and see a four footed dog standing there Cautiously wondering if its ok to approach you. And all you can do is smile and hold out your hand as you remember what got you here in the first place. And the whole thing starts all over again. Because the pain of loss would never be, if there was not the happiness of love, the love you can touch at least for awhile.


Leslie my heart is with you. 8::::::

I tell my husband that he truely married a dog. Because when I see or hear a dog in pain i go to pieces. Even if its not my own. a women and daughter exit the vets examining room. And you just know. And for days you remember it.

Dear Leslie,

Do you remember when Yunah passed away? I have special songs for all of my dogs (and humans) who have passed away and that song will forever belong to them, can't use it for another occassion, it's theirs and theirs alone. Yunah, being my absolute soulmate, has a song, that I remember touched you very deeply as well.

But I will dedicate "Yunah's" song to you as well and I hope that one day, the time will come for you too, to let go....and that this song will help you.

http://youtu.be/ckM82QHz_r4

I feel for you deeply, I care about you deeply and I think of you very often,

Saskia :)

Hi Leslie

Popping in to send you some love :), hugs to you and the gang and wish we could do more but you know we are waiting for you with open arms whenever you feel up to popping in xxxxxx

Leslie:

I was just checking in and just saw your thread. My heart aches for you and yours. Sending HUGS your way.

God bless you for all that you did for Squirt and every one here, including myself. You will be rewarded one day for all of this.

In the meantime, Squirt will want for you with all the others at the rainbow bridge.

Marge

Leslie -

Something was tugging at me to check in. I only wish I had a little sooner. I am so, so sorry to read of Squirt's passing. What an amazing life you shared with her and she is now at peace and pain free. You have seen so many of us through this, the hardest part of the journey. You are loved and admired for your courage as you battled with Squirt and this disease. Oh, the stories you told of her adventures and you were with her every step of the way. Those stories could give me a good laugh in my darkest hours after losing Crash. Though you shed tears of sadness and grieve the loss of your beloved Squirt, may a cherished memory shine through and give you the biggest smile and at that moment you'll feel her presence for she will always be with you.

Love, hugs, and prayers!

Tammy, Angel Crash, Darby, and Riley

You are the heady perfume that scents the Spring air, the winged melody dancing on the breeze, the promise of harvest held in sprouts breaking ground.

You are the gift of life in the burgeoning Summer fields, the laughter of children at play, the lazy buzz of bees.

You are the brilliant hues of Autumn, the glitter of first frost, the glow of embers in the hearth’s fire.

You are the still breathless quiet of Winter’s first snowfall.

You are the light of the Sun by day, the Moon and Stars by night.

You are clouds bathed in pink, the growl of thunder, the gentle kiss of rain.

You are the wind teasing the treetops, the waters of life rushing to be united as one, the soil that secures foundations.

You are the hope that lies in the silence between the ticking beats of my heart.

You are Eternal.

Absolutely Beautiful

Hi Leslie

Popping in to see how you are, your poem is so very special and I love it. Love is in every aspect of our lives as you have so eloquently written. I hope you are slowly finding some peace and breathing in those lovely memories of our Queen Squirty. Big hugs xxxxxxxxxx

love you and the beautiful poem.

((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

Beautiful and comforting.

That is lovely Leslie. You find the most poignant way of expressing your feelings. It touches us all.

big hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

Leslie,

Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing and say I'm thinking about you.

Sending love,
Donna

We were thinking about you too. Lovely poem.

Squirt's urn arrived today. A dear friend made it for her and it is absolutely gorgeous.

http://s752.photobucket.com/user/gir...tml?sort=3&o=3

http://s752.photobucket.com/user/gir...tml?sort=3&o=1

http://s752.photobucket.com/user/gir...tml?sort=3&o=2


Her urn and plaque with her paw in bronze in the case where she and her things will be -

http://s752.photobucket.com/user/gir...tml?sort=3&o=0

It's been 5 weeks and we are doing ok. Not good, but ok. Soph still sees her from time to time and Trink still goes into the closet looking for her on occasion, and I still cry daily but we are ok.

I've been quite sick with yet another abscessed tooth and learned this last round that I have developed a resistance to the ABs because I have had so many since Jan. But the tooth out and hopefully that is the last time I have to deal with abscesses. Between grief and the tooth I just don't have much energy these days. I am spending less and less time online and trying to find other avenues for my time and energy. Nothing is the same with Squirt gone so now seems to be the time to start making other changes that are actually needed. I hope to find my creative juices and start painting again for one thing. My studies have ceased and I need to get back to them. But I am taking things one day, sometimes one minute, at a time.

Tho I'm not signed in much at all I do keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,
a servant without her Queen

Leslie - wow that is beautiful, in fact I would go as far to say it is THE most beautiful urn I have ever seen. I love it! Gosh you are lucky indeed to have friends who do such gorgeous work in your life.

Not happy to hear that darn tooth abscess is still playing up, hope it is healing up fine from the extraction. Painting, I would love to see some if you would like to share sometime.

I cannot believe it is 5 weeks already, must feel like eternity to you. I am keeping the happy Squirty memories to the front of my mind as they are the ones that make me smile. Lots of hug to you and the rest of the gang xxx

Leslie:
What beautiful work, fit for a queen. Hope you are getting along ok, even at one minute at a time I know it can be hard. Love the beautiful case for Squirt and all her things. Blessings
Patti

Hi, Leslie. Dropped in to see how you are doing without your precious Squirt. I sure understand about needing to take a break from the usual routines. Squirt's urn is gorgeous.

Sending hugs to you.

That's truly a beautiful urn, Leslie! With beautiful Squirt, the queen, the touching poem... it's all there. And what's no longer there, remains forever in your heart, will forever be a part of you.

Big hugs,

Sas.

The urn is beautiful, and very fitting for your dear Squirt.

Sorry to hear that you've been suffering with your tooth again, so pleased to hear that the problem should have be solved.

It's beautiful Leslie. A fitting tribute for a Queen.

I hop you get to feeling better with the tooth gone now and no more infections. You don't need that.

Painting and resuming your studies, sound like an excellent idea. Some refocusing of your energies.

hugs and love
Sharlene and molly muffin

Oh Leslie,
The urn is so beautiful, I just love it. Yes, very fitting for a beautiful Queen. I, too, hope you get to feeling better now that the tooth is out. You have been through so much with that.

I think about you, Squirt, and the gang every day.

Hugs,
Tina and Jasper xo

Thank you! Yes it is nice to have such talented friends. And it just so happens that she is a member here - mytil; Terry and her hubby, Peter, made it for us. They own Milestone Cube and 5 Year Wood, doing beautiful working in woods - as you can plainly see!

What a beautiful and profoundly touching vessel Terry and Peter have created as a safe harbor for the essence of our precious girl. They are so gifted, and Squirt's urn is, and bears, such a gift in and of itself.

Keeping you all in my heart and thoughts.

Leslie, that is GORGEOUS!!!!!
How sweet of Terry and Peter.

Another tooth abcess! I can't imagine how painful that must have been!

5 very long weeks. I understand completely and am also trying to focus on other things to keep busy.