Zoe By My Side- Our Journey with Cushings

Dear Addy
I wish we were all there for you to tell these people to stop being so insensitive to your lose. Zoe was and is your baby and there is no way you get over it in a set time. Listen to those who have gone before you. It has been over a year and a half since Apollo's passing and I am still mourning. I miss him every day. There are support groups for all kinds of issues. So let us be your support group. Vent,cry, scream,write,do what ever you need to work through this grief. Our society teaches us not to deal with death,and most people feel very uncomfortable talking about It. The nightmares you are having are normal. I still have them thinking about Apollo's last week. You know they are dying and there is nothing you can do. The helplessness is overwhelming. Touch or hold something from Zoe when you are struggling. I have Apollo's collars in a few places ,in the car when I drive I sometimes reach for it. Write Zoe. Let it out. You have us. Don't keep it inside. Family can be cruel. My Mom said, well you had for 14 years so be happy about that. The bond is so strong, only we can understand. So my sister warrior ,be angry,cry,mourn,do what ever it is you need to do. You will heal with time, but the lose is always there, with time you will remember the joy,love,laughter and focus less on the difficult times,but once in awhile they will pop up.
Because we love our babies as much as we do it is only normal to feel the way we do.
Hugs Sonja and Angel Apollo
[QUOTE20. Come with me on difficult journeys. I understand that it’s hard for you, but please stay with me until the very end. Everything is better, easier and safer for me if you are with me. Remember, I love you.

Read more at http://www.reshareworthy.com/20-fact...ZSUGt0i6bX.99][/QUOTE]
That is what you did for Zoe

Addy, I completely understand everything you are saying and feeling. I missed out on the group hug yesterday so will send mine now (((hugs))) :)

I have found that most people don't understand the depth of the bond that we have with our pups. Even a lot of people that have dogs of their own don't understand, for whatever reason, it is not the same for them. My friends fall in that category for the most part. They are well meaning, but don't really get it. And those that are not animal people, well there is even less understanding and tolerance from them.

I'm sorry about the lack of empathy from your boss. Mine is the same way, she is not a dog or animal person. I'm sure it takes all your strength to keep up the front at work when you are fighting back tears every minute. I have been there, and it zaps all your energy.

I understand the anger as well Addy. It will take a while to get through it. As Sharlene said, it is part of the grieving.

Thinking of you, and sending lots of love and hugs.

Tina and Jasper xo

Sending hugs Addy, when I lost my Sim, it was worse then losing any other dog, the time that it took to care for Sim and then all of a sudden you have all this time and nothing to care for.....it really takes a long time and I'm still working on it....those cush pups need so much love and attention we do become like a care taker like for a human even though to us our fur babies are just as special or more special..between meds, vet appts, food and poo checks etc...we had a very busy life with our babies and we wouldn't have done it any other way...Sim was my life, and he is missed every day, don't let anyone tell you how you should be, its your time and until they walk in your shoes, they have no idea...take care of yourself and give yourself time...

Grab you a 2X4, find a metal pole about 6" in diameter and beat the crap out of it with the 2X4 while belting out a primordial scream at the top of your lungs. You will feel better for it and those around will get the message loud and clear. ;) OOORRRR you will soon see the padded wagon being driven by the little men in white coats! :p So far, I've managed to elude them so I'm sure you can!

You are doing just fine, Addy. More than fine. You are functioning which is more than many of us could do in the same circumstances. Don't be too hard on yourself and just remember those cold-hearted folk just don't understand and as such they will never know the kind of love that you and Zoe shared....and that is their loss.

Oh Sweetie,

I so wish I could say something and make it all easier for you. Unfortunately, I am at 8 1/2 months with Buddy and still haven't processed his loss yet. Yes, there are many people out there that do not see their dogs as family members. That is their loss to have never known that kind if love. I feel sorry for them. Healing and processing takes time. Sometimes lots of it. I don't talk about Buddy much anymore home because my own family doesn't get it.

We understand what Zoe means to you and miss hearing about her. Take whatever time you need sweetie and the heck with the rest of them. Xxxxxx

Hi Addy-
Do you remember Palmer's duck? You called it the duck on steroids. Well, I slept with that duck for I'm sure at least six months after Palmer passed. Palmer used to sit with the corner of the ducks hip in his mouth, so it had his DNA all over it. I loved that! I felt very close to Palmer with that duck. I cried myself to sleep every night while hugging his duck for as long as it felt right. And the duck is still preserved. It is Palmer's duck. It was every bit as big as Palmer.

I like the 2 x 4 and the metal post idea. Another thing that I have found that works is a 2 x 4 with nails and a hammer. You just get a hand full of nails and pound them into the board. You can think of whomever you are pissed at while you are hammering. It really does work. And then there's the bury your face in a pillow and just sob away until you can't sob any more. Make as much noise as you can or want to.

You will learn quickly which people you can share with about how you really feel.....and unfortunately it's going to be a very small circle of friends. There is no time table. There is no right or wrong way. There's no sense in trying to explain it to someone who doesn't "get it" already. It only adds to the frustration. Everyone here will truly understand, especially since it was compounded with Cushing's.

Take in some very deep breaths and let them out slowly. Think of how beautiful Zoe got to look. Get out the picture that's the avatar. Focus on that. Close your eyes. Enjoy that view.

Love,
Sus

Oh Addy,
Those people can just suck it!
They clearly haven't had the privilege of unconditional love and how very sad because they'll never experience the joy.

Daisy, Gracie and, Annabelle bring a love to my life that I can't imagine not having. I hope that the day never comes when I'm too old to care for a pet.

We're here for you always as you have been for each of us.

Addy:
Thinking of you, sending you big hugs and much love.
Patti

Wow. There are a lot of wonderful people here and their comments are so insightful. It seems there are three types of people:

1. Those that do not understand the loss at all...it was just an animal.

2. Those that understand the sadness of losing a "pet", but not really the depth of it.

3. And, those that truly get "it". That understand that this was a family member, not just a pet. Like the people here.

One day at a time, Addy.

Sending love and hugs. Special belly rubs for Koko, too.

Thanks guys, I am taking a mental health day to just allow myself to grieve and stay home, no pretending, no fronts. I need this day to allow myself to feel those emotions rather than hide them.

Koko had a good day yesterday and was the happiest I have seen him in a long time. He spent the whole day with me, no time alone in the kitchen. It felt good to see him so happy. He even wanted to eat dinner.

I will try to bring my mom home for her 90th birthday. My brother was to have a party at his house but decided it would be better if we had mom's party at the group home. I have been very upset since he told me this. I will have a hard time with my arm, I struggled Christmas Eve trying to have the family here but I cant allow my mom to have her 90th birthday in the group home. The hardest part is getting her in and out of the car. I think I will talk to my daughter to se if she thinks she can manage since I only have one arm to use.

I want her party here then. Am I being selfish? My brother always tells me I cant and then I usually prove him wrong. He does not uderstand why I move mountains if I have to to make things happen for my mom. I have been really upset about this. I dont know if mom and I can physically do it but I think we should try. I know it will be hard. Zoe loved my mother and my mother loved Zoe. I need to try to make this happen I think, even for just a few hours.

Thank you all for listening and sharing your thoughts. Hubby said Zoe was my whole life, it will take time to adjust to losing her. His sister wants to come to visit. I told him I need some time and I am not ready for that. It feels like she is saying now that Zoe is gone we have "freedom" to do things. I'm not ready to entertain out of town family members who dont understand. I feel she needs to respect my grief and give me time. I will try to tell her that in a nice way rather than biting her head off:o:o:o:o