Lena, Teacup Poodle w/ adrenal tumor - Lena is now an angel

Merry Christmas, my little angel. This year Jeremy slept on the couch in the back room with you, while me and the rest of them slept in the front room. Sibbie kept waking up and remembering that he was here, would get up and run to the back room and greet him all over again. She must've done it four or five times. I bet you got a kick out of that. I hope you watched the tree with him like we used to do. It's quiet now and I'm the only one up. It used to be just the two of us after the mad rush was all over.

Daddy made prime rib, you're favorite Christmas Day dinner. It was just Jess and Sigi and the boys. Sibbie had a ball with the wrapping paper this morning, just like you used to. She got so into it she started ripping Jeremy's presents open! This year I let Doree wear her red t-shirt; you're green one is in the box with all my favorite things of yours. She looked adorable, but it wasn't the same without you in yours. That last Christmas you were so tired after everyone left. You fell asleep on the big dog bed still in your Xmas dress, the first time you ever wore one for Christmas. When I look at that picture now, I can see how tired you were and not just from the festivities.

I still miss you all the time, Lee. You are always with me, in my thoughts and in my heart...I remember things and I cry; I remember things and I smile. I guess it will always be this way.

Mommy loves you always and forever, my sweet little angel, my third child, dog of my heart. Merry Christmas in Heaven, my baby girl, my precious Lena. Give everyone a kiss for me.

Dearest Joan, sending huge loving and comforting hugs ♥♥♥

My precious angel, you've been gone three years today. I put my favorite picture of you up as my screen saver today, the one in our bedroom with you looking over your shoulder at me. My beautiful Lee...all day I've been holding it in. I can't cry on the train; I can't cry in the office I share with Savitre. But I'm home now and I can cry all I want. I would scream, but I don't want to upset the others, especially Gable. Daddy bought me a new chain for my charm with your ashes. Both of the other ones broke. This one is nice and heavy and I think it will hold. Luckily the other ones broke while I was home. I would have been a lunatic if either of them had broken on the train or in the city where I might've lost some part of you.

I wish I could say it doesn't hurt anymore, but it does. I still think before and after Lena; I still compare Sibbie to you; and I find myself calling her by your name sometimes...that could just be old age. We've been going to Cathy's a lot to see Marie. The first few times Sibbie was not as good as you always were, but she has been getting better. Matthew always says that she's not you and he misses his little friend. You always loved visiting. I think you will be seeing Marie soon. I know you'll be happy to see her, and once she's there she'll remember you, I'm sure.

I feel like the happy part of me went with you, Lena. I still go through the motions, but the things I used to love to do just don't interest me as much anymore. I worry about Gable, and Doree who is going to be 14 or 15. When I'm home, I just want to stay here and not go anywhere. Leaving them, and you, to go to work makes me very anxious...and I'm always rushing to get home. I take Sibbie with me wherever I can, just like I used to take you. She is not as well behaved, but I just need her with me. She is definitely my emotional support dog. Too bad we didn't know about those while you were still alive. You would have been so much better at it than she is.

The tree is still up...and you're on the mantel right next to it. I can't take it down yet. We loved looking at it so much, remember? Just me and you, at night looking at the lights and the ornaments. I'll probably take it down in the next couple of weeks. I know I'm taking a big chance leaving it up...Cooper has not peed on it yet! I bought a Williamsburg flat decoration of the coach that we went on the year you came with us...the Randolph Carriage. For years I thought it was the Robert Carter Carriage, but when I saw the pictures in the album, I was shocked to see I had been wrong. It's okay though because we stayed in the Robert Carter Kitchen that year, so it all works out. That was such a nice trip. We're supposed to go in May, but I'm not sure if we will. And we won't be taking Sibbie as she is not you and will not be happy with a babysitter. She'll be happier home with Jeremy, I think. We'll see...we've already put it off three times in the last couple of years. I love Sibble to pieces, but she's just not you.

There will never be another you in my heart, Lee. You were my perfect little girl, an absolute angel, my precious angel; my third child; my baby. I loved you with all my heart and soul, Lena. I will love you forever. Always and forever, my sweet, little precious angel. Mommy loves you always....

I know too well what you express. Our precious babies leave a void nothing can ever fill and we miss them every single day. Cherish your memories and let them bring as many smiles as tears. One day you will hold your darling girl again.

Hugs,
Leslie

I Am Always With You

When I am gone, release me, let me go.

I have so many things to see and do,
You mustn't tie yourself to me with too many tears,

But be thankful we had so many good years.

I gave you my love, and you can only guess
How much you've given me in happiness.

I thank you for the love that you have shown,
But now it is time I traveled on alone.

So grieve for me a while, if grieve you must
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
That it is only for a while that we must part,
So treasure the memories within your heart.

I won't be far away for life goes on.

And if you need me, call and I will come.

Though you can't see or touch me, I will be near
And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear
All my love around you soft and clear

And then, when you come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and a "Welcome Home".

Author Unknown

Remembering Angel Lena with love, and sending hugs, hugs, and more hugs your way, Joan. We would never trade having the opportunity to love them, but the pain of the loss can be so hard to bear. We’re right there beside you in spirit, dear friend.

Dearest Joan, sending huge and loving hugs to you.

In loving memory of precious Lena, always.

((More Hugs)) Lori

Thank you, dear friends...Leslie, another beautiful poem. I so hope it's true.

Joan, I believe it is true with all my being. If I didn't believe I would see Squirt, Trinket, Brick, Crys, and so many others again I'm not sure I could go on another day.
((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

Thanks, Leslie...

I know how you feel Joan and it is going on almost 5 years for me. Sometimes I feel that my heart wasn't just shattered but completely crushed as well. Just a couple of days ago I was a crying mess over "mah boy". I sure hope our babies know how truly we loved them and grieve for them. My heart feels your pain....