Oh, I'm so sorry...we all have each other which is a huge comfort to me. My husband can't handle any of this and didn't even get out of bed when I got home last night.
So, I went straight to the people who understand....all of you!
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Oh, I'm so sorry...we all have each other which is a huge comfort to me. My husband can't handle any of this and didn't even get out of bed when I got home last night.
So, I went straight to the people who understand....all of you!
My heart is breaking for what you and Lena are going through!! Sending big hugs and lots of prayers your way!!
Maggie's mom
Joan, I'm thinking 100% positively and hoping that Lena will soon be discharged to come home! I understand why you'll be very worried about her if she's home alone, though. Since she's such a tiny thing, is there any way at all that you could take her in to work with you, either by staying in a little crate (if she's used to crates) or in a little pen that's in a quiet place? Just a thought, but perhaps in this situation, your boss will be willing to make some accommodations in order for you to be able to have Lena nearby for you to check on. In truth, you'll be a far more productive employee because you'll have the peace of mind of knowing that she's OK...
Marianne
Oh Joan, I've had to leave my girl at Pet ER more than once. It's a scary feeling. Sending many good thoughts that she perks up and can come home soon.
Checking in to see how Lena and you are doing.
No way! She doesn't like animals to begin with but she especially doesn't like little dogs...makes you wonder, doesn't it??Quote:
Originally Posted by labblab
Okay, dear ones! She is home! Breathing is better, but they think she might have thrown a clot, or it has to do with her heart disease. She fell asleep on my legs while I was sitting on the floor and her head was lower that the rest of her body and she seemed good, but then I had to wake her up to go to our vet to get some pills to hopefully clear her airways. And of course, none of the congested sound that I had been listening to, was apparent when we were there.
We are going back to the Veterinary Clinic tomorrow to see the internist who knows a lot about Cushing's. I just want to make sure that our vet is doing right. He may very well be, but now I am going to make sure.
They let him know that I had an appointment and he was all good guy today: apologizing for not being able to meet me at the office last night and the visit and bronchial meds were on him (I'm sure I'll be paying for them somewhere down the line!), but I don't care...she's home and I've got tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday to baby her and kiss her and tell her a million times how much I love her. I'm not sure she recognized me today, my eyes are swollen almost shut from crying and I lost my voice screaming in the car the whole way home last night.
They did blood work and I will post the results tomorrow, I am so, so tired. the clinic gave me cough medicine to help clear up any mucous that might be building up somewhere and also to help her sleep, but I am so afraid to give her anything right now.
we missed the Vetoryl this morning, and the Clavamox, but she got the Clavamox high blood pressure pill with her dinner tonight, which she devoured! I was told her I can give her the Vetoryl tomorrow, what do you think? Then she's supposed to get the ACTH test this weekend...we've only got 3 pills left. My vet said we could put it off and just continue with the 30mg for now. What do you think about that? I will also ask the Internist tomorrow...
So for now, the crisis is over, but at least I know that the ER is close and the staff and doctors are all very nice.
Thank you for all of your good wishes and prayers. I still have her...
So happy she's home with you now. I will keep praying for your and precious Lena.
Maggie's mom
Thank you, she is trying to get comfortable and fall asleep now. She's still breathing heavy. I want to hold her, but she can't get comfortable in my lap....
I'm wondering if this is fair to her. The vet said the heart disease can be monitored by the blood pressure pills, but she seems so uncomfortable. I am nervous about giving her the cough medicine even though both the clinic and the vet said it was okay.
It's been a rough 24 hrs for both of you!! Don't overthink it right now. Take a deep breath and try to get some rest. Tomorrow You'll be able to think clearer. Sending big hugs and prayers to both of you!!!
You are exhausted. You need rest and time to process all that has occured.
Quality of life is a huge consideration for many of us. It was my ONLY consideration when it came to my Buddy. I was determined that he would not suffer. Although I knew that releasing him would devastate me and break my heart, my decision had to be what was best for him.
Only you can determine what is reasonable/fair when it comes to Lena's care and how much she's able to handle. For now, I'm glad that she's home and you're able to spend some precious time together.
Hugs,
Kathy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joan2517
I had to rush Lena back to the Emergency Clinic late last night, she just could not breath right. They rushed her right in again and put her in the tank. Dr. suggested looking for a cardiologist in the morning, which was just a few hours away by that time. I went in to kiss her goodnight and tell her how much I loved her before I left her there for another night.
They called me at 5:00 to tell me she was in cardiac arrest and did I want them to keep working on her to give me time to get there, but I couldn't let her suffer, so I told them to put her to sleep. I wasn't with her at the end and I am devastated...I promised her I wouldn't let her die alone, my dog of my heart.
When I went to get my precious, I just sat with her, kissed her again and again, told her how much I loved her and how sorry I was that I hadn't been there. Then I took her home and held her until my vet's office opened so that they could send her out to be cremated.
My other dogs all got a chance to say goodbye and I held her and walked her around the house and the yard...all her favorite spots, everywhere where I will continue to see her.
The house is so quiet, the others seem to be being especially good. My big boy, Gabe keeps coming over and putting his paw on me and just looking at me. He checks on me every hour or so. He seemed the most upset after seeing her and just lay by the back door.
The thought of never seeing her or holding her again is so painful. The past 2 nights without her in bed with us have been awful. I have been sleeping most of the afternoon. Every time I wake up and remember that she's gone, I have to go back to sleep where she is still with me.
I should have stayed there last night or had them put her to sleep while I was there, but I wanted to believe she would come home like she did yesterday. I hope she wasn't afraid at the end and waiting for me...this will be something I will always be kicking myself for. I feel I failed her, the dog of my heart, my precious angel, my third child.
Joan, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it was for you to make the decision to let her go. Sometimes sparing their pain and suffering outweighs our need to be there to hold them when they leave this world. You may not have been there but I'm convinced it was your face Lena saw as she crossed over. Don't doubt that because you were her world.
Godspeed sweet Lena.
Oh Joan, how my heart breaks for you. Every time I have logged in today, I have dreaded checking your thread, fearing this would be coming.
I am so very, very sorry you weren't there with her, but please be kind to yourself.
Sail on fast and free precious Lena.
Oh Joan. I am sorry beyond words. I know your heart is broken into pieces. But I do believe that Glynda has spoken the truth. You did not need to be physically present for Lena to feel cradled in your love. You made the decision that was best for her, at your own expense. Precious, precious little girl. She has always been your angel, and now she has truly earned her angel wings.
Sending you hugs of peace and comfort,
Marianne
I am so very sorry for your loss. :)
Fly feel angel Lena, fly free!
Big hugs,
Kathy
Oh no! I just got home from work and saw this. The tears are flooding. I just can't imagine how you feel right now. I'm so so sorry Joan.
My heart cries for you.
Oh Joan,
This is such devastating news as I was so hoping Lena will pull through this. I'm so sorry that she had to suffer her last few days but I'm glad she got to come home and spent her last day with you. I'm sure she was very happy to see you again.
My baby came home today and that was what I did too. I showed her our front yard where we went out many times every day and night for years and she'd smell the grass while walking around. We also walked around all over the house where she'd walked around for hours and hours. It's still not the same but she's home with me and I know with me is where she'd want to be the most.
Let the tears come out. Don't try to hold it as that is most natural thing to do when we lose our dearly loved ones. Right now I'm trying to remember my baby's healthy years rather than sick ones but surprisingly it is not that easy because I've spent last three years so focused on her sickness and much diminished state of mind and health. Those healthy days seem sooo far away. I hope you have many, many happy and healthy memories of Lena and you together. But right now let the tears come down. I do think it will take some time for us to be able to remember our good times together with a smile on our face but I believe we will one day get there.
I also promised to my baby that I will be with her for her last moments and that still hurts me so much but for Lena you had to do what was best for her at the time as we'd never want them to suffer. You gave her the final gift that only you could give. I know it doesn't really help to ease your pain but I hope you know that Lena is free of any pain now and whole again. I'm so sorry Joan. Big hugs, Song.
Thank you...I just couldn't post all day, I didn't want to see it in writing. My husband and children had to post to Facebook as I just could not. I texted family members this morning as I was totally incoherent. I still have to call my best friend, but I will probably only get one word out before she won't be able to understand a single thing I say.
Thank you, Song...I thought I was the only one who would something like that...I was afraid it meant I was really losing it.Quote:
Originally Posted by My sweet Ginger
Thank you, Sharlene...you have been such a comfort to me, along with everyone else. I found all of you when I needed your knowledge and kindness. Now it is the bond we all share for the love of our pets that I have. I don't know what I would have done without all of you these past few months.Quote:
Originally Posted by molly muffin
You and Lena are both in our hearts and always will be. This has been a really horrible beginning to 2016 with the losses of such sweet beloved furbabies.
We do a share a bond, all of us because we walk the same paths.
Thank you, Kathy. I picture her with all of those who went before her and how happy they must be together again.Quote:
Originally Posted by Budster's Mom
Thank you, I hope that is true. Every time I closed my eyes today she was there. That was so much more bearable than opening them and not seeing her.Quote:
Originally Posted by lulusmom
Thank you, Renee...I thought you would all know if I didn't post at all, so I knew you would be there when I was ready. You have all been such good friends to me and I can't thank you enough for all the help, guidance and emotional support that I received.Quote:
Originally Posted by Renee
Thank you, Marianne...it has certainly been one of my worst days, but knowing that you would be here to comfort me has helped me all day. I knew once I posted that the love and support would give me some peace, which it has. I am going to have a lot of rough days, but I know that my sisters in Cushing's will be there for me, as I will be there for all of you as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by labblab
I love all of my pets, but Lena was my heart and soul...as my son told everyone on Facebook, she was my third child.
Thank you, Glynda. I really want to believe that, it would ease my pain and guilt to know.Quote:
Originally Posted by lulusmom
Oh Joan,
I am so terribly sorry for your loss of dear Lena and my heart goes out to you at this very difficult time. We do understand the pain you are feeling so please know we are here for you, always.
With Heartfelt Sympathy, Lori
Yep, they are just like having another child. One you love and nurture and take care of, making sure their world is okay.
It leaves a big hole in our heart and lives when they aren't there for us to love and take care of any longer.
I know that Lori and I am truly grateful and feel blessed to have found this site in time. I don't know how I could have dealt with the last couple of days, not to mention the last couple of months, without all the support I found here.Quote:
Originally Posted by Harley PoMMom
I am so sorry for your loss!!!There are no words that can heal your heart, but I hope you can find comfort from all the people that are holding you in there hearts right now. Godspeed sweet Lena. She was so lucky to have you as her mom!!
With heartfelt sympathy, Maggie's mom.
Thank you for your kind words....Quote:
Originally Posted by onlyg
Song, thank you...that was beautiful. I couldn't figure out how to reply from there.
Dear Joan,I am very sorry for the loss of your little Lena. I was so hoping and praying she would get better. These little fur babies have a way of wrapping their paws around our heart. My Tammy was the baby I could never have. Lena was and will always be your baby. She was so lucky to have a great mommy. Hugs and understanding. Brianna
It is a huge comfort to me. Thank you.Quote:
Originally Posted by onlyg
Thank You Brianna...the funny thing is, Lena was the grandchild I thought I would never have, but then we got one and she moved up to my third child instead (as my son constantly reminds everyone)Quote:
Originally Posted by Tammysmom
Just came on this morning and read about Lena. My heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel, and even now 15 months after "mah boy" left.... I feel the pain still and definitely feel the pain for others. I cry for you, literally, knowing exactly how you feel. I wish I could say something to make it all go away, but there is nothing that will make you feel better, other then knowing the people on here do know how loved our little ones are/were and can be such a support. Please know I am thinking about you, and please, please know you did everything humanly possible for Lena, you really did.
Dear Joan,
I haven't talked with you but I have followed you and Lena daily. My heart is shattered to read this news and I know your Soul is in pieces today. You feel lost, consumed by guilt and questioning everything, the pain almost more than you can bear. But you are never alone; not only is your family here by your side, your sweet Lena is as well. Her body may be gone but her Spirit is strong and present. She will be with you all your days. And one day, when your job here is done, that precious little girl will be waiting to fly into your arms once again. I have no doubt that our babies wait for us and that we are reunited for all eternity. A love like the kind we share with them can never die.
My thoughts and prayers are with your and your family in this trying time.
Our deepest sympathies,
Leslie, Trinket, Brick, Sophie, Fox, and all our Angels
RAINBOW BRIDGE
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies who has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
Dear Joan,
This is my first post. I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words to console us, when our loved ones leave us. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
And now my journey begins with my Maggie, just diagnosed this past Weds. God bless you, Joan.
Thank you, Judi...I felt the same way reading all about "mah boy"...I know I will keep questioning everything I did, that's just who I am. I also know that it won't hurt so much forever. My other guys are all trying to figure out the ranking order now and it is so quiet here. Even though she was tiny, she was a huge presence and there is a hole here now...it may never be filled. They all need me too, so as sad and lonely as I am for my Lee, her brothers and her sister will need me to be strong for them and I am trying. It's so much easier to sleep because she is alive in my thoughts then...waking up the reality keeps hitting me.Quote:
Originally Posted by spdd