Holidays can be hard...

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Somehow, he knew the meaning of Christmas and always gave us the best gift, his love.

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Marge, welcome to our K9C house! What a dear, sweet thing to write about Fritz and what a truth it is. You know, when I think about it, year-round that is the balance that our pets give to our lives. And that is why the scales just topple over when they are gone.

I can't help but smile at the thought of your dad's photo. Do you know that movie, "A Christmas Story," where young Ralphie is given his beloved Red Ryder BB rifle -- and the havoc that creates? When I was little, I was decidedly a tomboy myself, and I'll never forget that wonderful Christmas when I got my Annie Oakley outfit along with my holster and two shiny six-shooters. A very different era, that's for sure. :o

It seems to me that the memories are both the blessing and the curse of the holidays. The yin and the yang. I don't ever want to forget. But sometimes it just hurts so much to remember. Especially early on, it hurts so much to remember.

You are at that early stage, that's for sure, with such a combination and compounding of loss. It can be impossible to predict in advance which one of the family-honored traditions will help and which will end up hurting way too much. And then, of course, some things are totally new and different. Sometimes very good things; sometimes throwing us totally off-balance. I suspect the hospice event will be very hard in many ways, but I hope there may also be a bit of peace that comes from honoring your dad in this way. If you would care to tell us how things go, we would very much like to hear about it.

Marge, sending big hugs your way, and once again, welcome to our house here for the holidays.

Marianne

You most certainly can! I have a few times! ;) Do what's in your heart and let the rest go this year!

Hugs,
Kathy

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Originally Posted by Wally P's Mom

Can we just skip December?

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Since you asked about the Lights of Love that we went to last night, I will share. Before I do, recall it has been only a month since Fritz had passed and 11 months since my dad had passed. Emotions were very raw yesterday. Especially reliving every last step that I took with Fritz.

The evening began with music and opening remarks. Everyone was given ornaments with an angel wing with their loved ones name on it plus an index card with their name to be read aloud. So my mom and I placed the ornaments on the tree with my dad's name read. (I wished I had a pen to add Fritz's name to the tag. But I think he knew I thought of him too.) Silent night was played and a poem was read. The tree was lit. The glow of the lights were very special. The fire department had their drum and bagpipes rose from the pit playing Amazing Grace. If Taps was hard to hear at the funeral, this was just as hard.

I think I cried through much of the program, but when I left and saw all the red eyes, I realized I hadn't been alone.

Since Fritz had passed, my chest has been very heavy. Last night, I didn't have that heaviness when I went to bed. Either it has been that my husband has been home and we have been gone or the healing has begun.

Marge

I hope it is because the healing has begun, Marge.

Thank you for telling us about your dad's ceremony. I could imagine it in my mind's eye, and even from my distance, it seemed very powerful and also very lovely.

Sending tons of hugs this day,
Marianne

Just checking in, again.

Death has been a constant companion this past year. All the firsts with my dad's passing and now Fritz. Remembering that my husband lost his mom about 15-16 years ago about this time of year. The loss is hard. Tears have been shed quite a bit this week.

Joy has been difficult to find. I found some yesterday and it felt good. No guilt attached. Just pure joy. Without going into details, I brought some holiday cheer to a group of ladies. In return, this group of ladies gave me joy.

Going in this direction, could happiness be around the corner?

Thanks for reading. I just needed to share.

Marge

This will be my third holidays without Woody :( He passed so close to Christmas on the 19th December 2013, that when I came home without him the first thing I did was take down the tree and decorations, how could I celebrate without him there, I have not had a tree up or decorations since Woody left, they are still in the boxes and will probably stay there again this year. I am not a lover of Christmas but with Woody he made it bearable although I couldn,t put decorations on the bottom of the tree as he used to knock them off and play football with them, he was ever so naughty :D So I will get through Christmas day on auto pilot like I have done previous years, get up, go see mum and the family smile when I need to, nod in the right direction when all the time I will be thinking of Woody and what we should have been doing, we should've been snuggling on the sofa watching rubbish Christmas movies, long walks in the woods, eating too much but alas its not to be :)

I thought the holidays would be really hard but Thanksgiving turned out pretty good, just different. I was ok with different as I did not cry so much missing Zoe. Now hubby has been down with count with his back, he cannot stand or walk for 2 weeks now.. We can't get in to see a specialist. I am really struggling now as this drags on and find myself really down and missing my girl who could always make me laugh. She healed his carpel tunnel by licking his wrist ever day.

I find myself just wanting to skip Christmas but Kate is coming home and I feel badly that I have nothing, no tree, no presents.

Thanks for letting me vent, things are so bad here, he can't take Vicodin for the pain, he had reaction, he should not tak NSAIDs as he already has increased chance of blood clots. The think it is spinal stenosis and the nerves are pressing together, badly inflamed.

I'm tired.

Aww Tracy, I apologize for the belated welcome to our house here. I'm very glad you've joined us, because nobody has to put on a brave holiday face in our house. You are welcomed however you are feeling. And missing loved ones is a feeling that we decidedly share.

Hubby and I are late getting our tree put up, and today is to be the day. But for almost the first time in my lifetime, I'll largely be decorating alone. Hubby loves the finished product, but doesn't much care for the part that I guess seems tedious to him -- unpacking all the ornaments one by one and picking their special spot on the tree. Of course, that's the part I have always loved. Even as old as I am (and no, I'm not going to confess exactly how old that is :eek:), it has usually always worked out that my mom or dad was with me to help. Until his death over a decade ago, my dad was chief elf. He delighted in the tree, and we loved decorating together. When he died, my mom stepped in, and we've been the A-team ever since. But now she is very old and increasingly frail, and told me yesterday that she does not feel up to leaving her retirement complex and joining us here at our home until Christmas actually arrives.

Since we have no human kids, I'm kinda at the end of the elf line here. So I'll be on my own today. A day I've been anticipating for several years now, but wished would never arrive. I'm so hoping it will feel OK enough. After losing precious friends these past couple of years, I do know how lucky I am to be gifted with the opportunity to celebrate Christmas at all. But it will be different, and Christmas is a time when I so dearly wish I could turn the clock back and keep things the same.

But deep breath...up the tree will go this afternoon. Along with all the memories. Fingers crossed that there will still be some magic left, passed along from all the Christmases past. I'll let y'all know. :o

Oh Addy, we were typing at the same time. I am so sorry about Hubby!! No wonder you are feeling tired, you have so much on your plate to worry about. At least Kate will soon be home, safe and sound.

What did you end up doing for Thanksgiving?

Well, I find solace in the fact that I am not the only mess this holiday season.;) We remain united.:p

Well Marianne, there are no elves at my house left either. Holidays have been hard for me for way too long. Somehow or another, Buddy always made them tolerable. We were in it together and his sweet nature helped me get through. He was there and he just knew. He knew that I was acting and I needed him by my side. Rosie is cute and sweet and also clueless!

Tracy, I totally understand your feeling of not wanting to do Christmas. I haven't wanted to do the holidays for a very long time. Holidays are hard for me. Somehow or another, Buddy made them okay. He knew I was just acting and trying to get through and he always managed to make me laugh. I do them for my folks. They are not willing or able to help anymore, but still enjoy the festivities. There is no one around to help with the work, which was a huge part of the holidays. Everyone pitching in to share. Those days are gone.

Oh dear Addy. So sorry to hear that hubby is still is in so much pain. I am allergic to codeine, so I cannot take Vicodin either. After my surgery, they gave me oxycodone to bring home. I only took it for a few days because it is highly addictive, but it did work! Since hubby shouldn't be taking NSAIDs and Vicodin is out, Oxy might be a temporary option until he can get in to see a specialist. Just a thought….

Kate is coming home!!! The rest of the Christmas preparations are fluff. They are just icing on the cake. You are truly blessed my dear, because you still have the cake! You have enough on your plate right now. The rest of the Christmas stuff can hold off for another year, or two. Family is what counts, not tinsel, decorations or a tree.

THE GRINCH HAS SPOKEN!!!:D:D:D

Kathy

I am sorry so many are feeling so sad.

Marianne & Addy and Woodydog--I hate when Christmas cannot be the magical experience we have become accustomed to. It's true for me this year as well.

Ryan and Ellen just visited this weekend both to celebrate Bob's birthday and then to celebrate Christmas. Bob did zero on the Christmas decorating. I did find a small tree with cute, multicolored twinkling lights. I was able to find an ornament that looks like a star and that became the topper. And I used my collection of Swarovski Christmas ornaments to decorate it. The top is a rather long branch and the star topper tends to make it droop over....so it is lovingly called my "Charlie Brown" tree. It's 36" tall which is a far cry from the 8 ft ones we have had in this house since we moved here 13 years ago. I also realized that last year was probably the last year we will ever have a magnificent tree like that with all the lovely, memory sparking decorations. This year there were no outside lights, no candles in the window and just my lonely little tree plus 2 other decorations that I put out.....and now they are away....as Ellen & Ryan are gone and on Tuesday Bob & I leave for FL.

I have been missing Palmer especially so. Not sure why. He was such a comfort to me. Just by being here. And he sure got a kick out of Christmas morning!! But life moves on, time moves on and like it or not, things change. So I am trying to be a brave little soldier, at least for now. I will say I don't like it!!

In case I don't get back on here before the new year, my best wishes go out to all of you for a special Christmas and a happy new year. A new year, a new beginning.

With love,
Susan/Sus/Palmer's Mom & Bailey's Mom.:D

Oh Susan, so great to hear from you, and I can't help but smile at my vision of your little Charlie Brown tree. I know it's a change for you, but it sounds so sweet. I hope you and Bob and Bailey have a good and safe trip to Florida this week. Gotta warn you that it may be even warmer than usual, though. I was only wearing a t-shirt yesterday and was still sweating while we were wrangling our tree. Crazy, crazy weather!!

Alright kids, drum roll please.... But putting up the tree yesterday turned out to be even better than OK. It was fun. :o :)

I know things will feel very different to me when my mom is not here with us at all, as opposed to just being across town. But for this year, things worked. Hubby stepped up to the plate and came over to keep me company. Brought a magazine and sat in a nearby chair, and continually offered comments and placed a couple of his favorite ornaments himself. Plus, the girls were angels and came and sat between us and did not try to topple the tree or carry ornaments away in their mouths or bash the boxes with their tails. It was different, but it was good. Perhaps a new tradition has been born...

Most special of all was jointly deciding where to put our beloved bobble-head Barkis. Since even as an Administrator I am too dumb to know how to insert more than one thumbnail in a reply, we'll handle this in two replies. First, here was real Barkis with his favorite toy of all -- a deflated basketball that he would heave around the house and proudly retrieve.

And now, here's our bobble-head Barkis ornament (the "basketball" is actually a food bowl that we painted orange :D).

It always holds a place of honor on the tree, just like our memories of our boy when he was at his very best. :o :o :o

Love, love, love, bobble head Barkis. I'm glad that your tree trimming turned out to be different, but OK Marianne.:) I can just see hubby supervising. I have a few of those around my house too. Lol

Hugs to you Marge! Two years ago, on the 21st, I lost my dear Lucy cat. The holidays meant nothing to me. All I wanted was Lucy at my side again. I'm sorry for your loss of Fritz and for his absence this Christmas in your life. I pray for you healing over the days, weeks, and months to come. It does sound as if happiness might be soon ahead for you.

Sorry for this rough season, Addy. May you get some needed rest.

Yes, Marianne, it would be lovely to go back in time and make things stay the same. Then again, I remember the last time I said this to someone. I got the wise response that to make things stay the same would be to miss out on all the lovely things of the future. Those words came from my boyfriend who had just broken up with me and who incidentally now is my husband. To go back time, I would still have all my beloved pets. But I would miss out on the family of critters I now have. Ah, to have both! I enjoyed your photos. Thanks for posting them! May your Christmas be good, even if different.

To everyone else, I wish you a blessed Christmas. May memories bring you joy. Let the new year be a a time of recovery from grief and a better one in every way.

As for me, as I said at the start, two years ago this month, I lost my dear Lucy cat. She was an affectionate and loyal friend. So much of what I do now for animal welfare is her honor.

This season I've kept so busy, Christmas is only now sneaking up on me. Since the summer, we've gotten two new cats, including a kitten. It'll be interesting to see what they make of gifts and holiday food.

I've enjoyed poking around here since our adopted dog's death in the spring and reading people's stories. In the new year, I'll try to do more of this and maybe share a few more tales of our full critter household.

Allison, it's so good to see you here! Thanks so much for writing, and definitely we will be watching for more stories in 2016. ;)

Also, I just want to take a moment to remind everybody of our special candle-lighting site. At this time of year, my own heart is especially drawn to the candles and the light that they bestow. If anyone wishes to light a candle at any time, just follow the instructions here:

http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/showthread.php?t=517

Marianne

Marianne, the candle lighting page hasn't worked for me in quite some time. I am able to view our K9C Candles, but when I light one, it doesn't show up with the others. I'm not sure what's going on with that.:confused:

Kathy

Hmmmmm....I dunno what the problem could be. :(

You're sure you're including K9C or k9c within the actual body of your message?

Yes, of course! :confused:

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Originally Posted by labblab

You're sure you're including K9C or k9c within the actual body of your message?

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I am really puzzled then. I have consistently been lighting candles with no problem. So I just don't know what is going wrong for you. :(

"Auld Lang Syne"...

For the sake of old times.

I don't know all the lyrics, but I surely do hum along with the music each and every New Year's Eve -- with a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye. What a privilege to have shared my life with my loved ones, human and four-legged, physically still present or here with me in spirit alone.

Cheers to the old times, and Cheers to the new times that still await us. May the New Year bring a measure of comfort and peace to all our family.

Hello Friends:

The holidays have come and gone. Turning 50 this year, meant that I was due for a colonoscopy which was done 2 days before Christmas. Yes, it fell on the one year anniversary of my dad's passing. But the after effects of the anesthesia got me through Christmas.(Better than booze.) I don't remember much, a blur you would say. (I knew something good would came out of doing that test.) We had the family over on Christmas. My sister brought her invited dogs over for dinner. It took the edge off of missing Fritz (Christmas marked 2 months for Fritz.). Fritz left a gapping whole in my heart and his paw prints left the evidence behind. I miss him.

I had to tell his and Wally's stories this past weekend to convince a small breeder that we were the right parents for her puppy. All the emotions just hit me. As I was making my case for this little guy, all the little things that came rushing back to me about my guys. Plenty of tears were shed as I did this. I think in the end, it was meant that I did this. Remember and not forget, but also welcome and start anew.

At the end of the month, Mark and I are welcoming a new puppy into our home. Everyone says that puppies are a lot of work, but no one that says this ever dealt with the medical issues that I have.

I can never say that I would be completely ready for a pup. But once he is in my arms, I don't think I can ever let him go.

Wish us luck.
Happy New Year and New Beginnings.
Marge

Oh Marge, I wish you luck a thousand times over!!!!!!! :) :)

I cannot think of a better way to close our annual holiday thread than to look forward to the arrival of your new baby. By next holiday season, you will have so many adventures to tell us about, and also new rituals to be born alongside your puppy. The circle of love will continue unbroken: from Fritz to Wally P to Little Mister. :o :) ;)

Please, please, please begin a new thread for "our" baby on "Everything Else" whenever the mood strikes you. Sending my best wishes to you all!

Marianne

A puppy is so exciting. We will want to hear all about it of course. What a journey will be beginning all over again.

Thanks friends for the well wishes and everlasting support.

Marge

As the years pass, the holidays become more bittersweet. In the space of only two years, my husband and I have lost three pets. One of them, my Lucy cat, died two years ago in December. Many pets have been lost before this time too who will never be forgotten.

Yet this Christmas, our household was full, alive with our toy poodle and three cats. They received many gifts. I took many photos. There were many barks and meows. It was good.

May everyone have a blessed 2016!

Thank you for this beautiful reminder that life and love are a circle meant to go on. There is always more love to share. :p

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Originally Posted by Allison

Yet this Christmas, our household was full, alive with our toy poodle and three cats. They received many gifts. I took many photos. There were many barks and meows. It was good

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Hi guys, and welcome home again!! I am throwing open the door to our holiday house a bit early this year. And this is 100% selfish on my part because I am the first one to plop down at the table to talk. I miss my sweet Peg so much. :o :o :o :(

Halloween is probably my favorite holiday of all. October is my favorite month, for sure. Crisp mornings, leaves turning, bonfires, apple orchards, pumpkins. And it all leads up to Halloween, a night that still seems magical to me even though I'm definitely not a kid anymore.

Our first Halloween with Peg, I rushed out to buy her a bright orange collar. She didn't do well with costumes at all, but she didn't mind a different collar, and I loved it! Our shiny black dog looking so pretty with her orange collar. Out of all my Halloween decorations, my favorite has always been Peg's collar. Buckling it around her neck has always been the crowning moment of all.

Yesterday I started decorating the house. I tried my best to be cheerful, but I knew what was coming. When I opened the box in the closet with her collar, it was hard. Really hard.

It won't be the same this year without her. And this is just the first of the holidays. Oh my. I miss her so much, and wish with all my heart that she was still here with us. I am grateful to have a place here where I can talk.

Marianne

We certainly know how you feel, at least I do. Here in Canada we didn't make such a big deal with Hallowe'en decorations until these last few years, but in my experience we were always behind a little from you guys when it came to decorations. I went to Florida and saw the lit reindeer for Christmas, long before they were popular here. It took a year or two for me to see them in the stores up here. Anyway... about Hallowe'en, I used to dress Keesh up in an angel costume, he had a halo and wings, specially made for dogs. He'd get soooo excited when the kids came up the driveway if he was outside. He also had to check out the treats to make sure they were safe for the kids.... what a character. Now believe it or not, the scrooge that I've become, I turn off the lights or leave for the night. 15 years of giving out candies and having so much fun, is no longer and it's just something I cannot do anymore, along with other things. Hugs and more hugs going out to you.... even though we were so blessed to have these marvelous creatures in our life, the sadness more times then we like overtakes the smiles when we remember.

Yes, starting to put out the decorations last weekend brought on lots of tears....Lena just loved Halloween. I would put her orange and black "Boo" t-shirt on (she hated costumes and would never wear one) and we would sit on the stoop waiting for all the trick or treaters. She got more attention than the candy! There would be photo ops with Lee and the kids...the parents loved that. And she just loved sitting in my lap watching it all.

Just thinking about it is making me cry, at my desk, which has become the norm for me. I miss her with all my heart, my precious little angel.

Put a couple of pics in her album....

Squirt wasn't much for Halloween and certainly did NOT care for clothes of any kind for any reason! :D But oh my she loved kids and when we lived where we had trick-or-treaters come by she acted fierce at first then couldn't wait to get out among them. These holidays are tough but they also bring good memories. And it is nice to have a safe place to come talk.

Molly was not a fan of halloween, or kids ringing the door bell (it's usually too cold to sit outside here). She'd go nuts every time the bell rang and bark her head off.
But oh thanksgiving, which is on Monday here. That she loved. Everyone over and the cooking and the playing. She was in her element.
It is christmas that I am dreading. That was Her holiday. I can't even think of it without crying. Not sure how I'll survive that one.
loved the pictures of Lena on the lawn Joan.
The store of Peg with her bright orange color. I can just picture it standing out against her sleek black fur. I have the exact replica on my halloween towels.
I can just see squirt running among the kids and Keesh with his wings.
Gosh, it's going to be tough to get through the holidays without them.

Thanks y'all for joining me here! And Joan, I loved the Halloween pics of Lena. What a little sweetheart!

Well, we're a little bit closer to Halloween now, and I've bought all my candy and finished with all my decorations. We'll be having a couple of good friends over on Halloween night to share dinner with us and to help give out the candy. They love Luna and always loved Peg, so it will be good to have them here with us that evening. They will understand how we're feeling.

Luna has always worn a purple collar on Halloween, alongside Peg with her orange collar. I toyed with the idea of putting the orange collar on Luna this year, but that didn't feel right at all. But last night, hubby made this suggestion. I would not feel like I could tell many people, but I know I can share with you guys. He said, what if we put Peg's collar around her box of ashes, and set it in a special place that just the two of us will know about that night. A lot of people would probably think that was totally weird but I already feel comforted when I picture doing that. I'm giving Hubby an A+ on that idea!

So Peglet will still be joining in with us at least in that way. Missing her so much, though, each day the holiday gets closer...

I think that's a lovely idea, Marianne. I bought Sibbie her own costume, I just can't put Lena's Boo shirt on her...it would just make me cry more than I think I will.

awww what a great idea, Marianne! I think that A+ is well deserved!

I teared up reading that, Marianne. What a wonderful idea that your hubby had, yep a A+ for sure.

I totally understand. Addy was thinking about giving Koko Zoe's bowl, then realized that she still needed it. This holds true with Peg's Orange Halloween collar. It is obvious that she still needs it. Luna has her very own purple collar, which is perfect for her. ;)

Thanks so much, guys. And Joan, I really hope you'll take a picture of Sibbie on her first Halloween and post it for us all to see! I'll be looking for it. ;)

I will...actually she has two. My grandsons couldn't agree on the same one, so we bought two!